Road safety campaigners have called on BBC chiefs to axe Jeremy Clarkson's Top Gear, claiming it "glamorises speed" and encourages a "yobbish" attitude among drivers.

Transport 2000, whose president is Michael Palin, claimed Top Gear promoted irresponsible driver behaviour and an obsession with big cars. It said the motoring series, one of BBC2's most successful shows with up to 5 million viewers a week, should be replaced by a programme promoting "sensible driving in sensible vehicles".

"It glamorises speed and fails to make the connection with danger on the roads," it said in a statement. "Through the use of Jeremy Clarkson as presenter, with his distinctive image, it is in danger of encouraging a 'yobbish' attitude on the road."

"Everyone is talking about how to reduce car use, cut climate change emissions and make the roads safer, but, to quote in perhaps its own language, Top Gear effectively sticks up its fingers to this," said Steve Hounsham, a spokesman for Transport 2000.

"It is irresponsible, outdated television designed to give comfort to boy racers, petrolheads and those from the 'get out my way' school of driving. We want to see Top Gear taken off the screen."

Co-presented by Richard Hammond and James May, regular Top Gear slots include "star in a reasonably priced car", in which celebrities race around a track as quickly as possible.

Other features in the last series saw Clarkson drive a Ferrari almost non-stop from London to Switzerland in a bid to beat Hammond and May, who were making the same journey on public transport; and May, driving a Mitsubishi, trying to beat Hammond in a bobsleigh. Another feature ended with the three presenters deliberately driving second-hand cars into a brick wall at 30mph to see how they could withstand an accident.

"There is a strong danger that it encourages irresponsible motorist behaviour and it therefore has no place in public service broadcasting," said Hounsham. "This is not about censorship or having a poor sense of humour, it's about what is in the public interest.

"If we must have Jeremy Clarkson on the television, let's give him something useful to do, such as trying out public transport or road-testing new bicycles. Perhaps he would like to drive a bus; he'd find it just as much fun as a Ferrari."

However, a BBC spokesman said the show took safety "very seriously".

"None of the presenters advocate or encourage dangerous driving, and high performance cars are always tested in a controlled and safe environment.

"The programme regularly features discussions of issues across the whole gamut of motoring. It does review fast cars but it has also recently featured the new Smart car, as well as a series of items on restoring cars and a second-hand car challenge. To say Top Gear encourages just a macho or yobbish attitude simply isn't true."

"Half of its regular audience of 3 million viewers is women. A recent example [of discussing green issues] would be in December 2004, when an engine was featured that was half electric and half petrol powered."

But Clarkson made clear his disdain for enhanced health and safety regulations in his Sunday Times column last year, albeit in his slightly tongue-in-cheek style.

"Health and safety is now so out of control that I find it nearly impossible to do my job," he wrote. "Certainly the series I made a few years ago called Extreme Machines simply couldn't be produced today. On Top Gear, we refer to the Health and Safety people as the PPD. The programme prevention department."

It's not the first time Clarkson's presenting style has come under fire. Female subtitlers at the BBC complained two years ago, accusing the show and its star presenter of sexism.

And four months ago Labour MP Andrew Miller said Clarkson should be prosecuted after he drove from London to Brighton in a second-hand Porsche which had illegal levels of fumes belching from the exhaust, a broken speedometer and a windscreen washer that did not work, breaking down five times during his drive. Miller accused the presenter of "turning our motorways into playgrounds".

I agree they should ban Top Gear. I object to the fact that my license fee goes towards funding this self-indulgent, vacuous smug-fest. All those people crowded round the stage, laughing heartily at the terrible "jokes", infantile "stunts", ker-razy challenges, and looking like they're having a really fun time. I'd rather chew my own arm off, frankly.

Clarkson's wildly skewed perception of his own hilarity really grates, and the fact that the British public lap up his boorish right-wing witterings makes me despair.

*exhales*

Top gear is a great program, best thing BBC2 produce, The justification for having a Sunday :)


Bloody Transport 2000, Top gear should produce a special Transport 2000 car, stick it in a crusher and have pressing the button as a special prize :D

I looooooooove TopGear, if you guys would like to watch a TV program about 0.1 L green box shaped vehicles u must be really boring.
I guess some people like cars as other may like football clubs, why not ban football programs that give us hooliganism?

I love Top Gear. It's entertaining and interesting. You can't blame programs like this for bad driving. When it's screened - sunday evenings - most boy racers are already out burning rubber and creating noise pollution with their rediculously 'souped' up stereo's.
I think it's a rediculous reason to scrap a decent program when there is so much other rubbish on TV.

its a tv program. about cars.

it's not exactly going to be edifying is it?

greenback's precis chimes precisely with the oddments of it I have seen since it changed format.

Jeremy Clarkson, despite his repetitively plonking punchline delivery method & his increasingly desperate attempts to be 'outré', is the best thing on it.

ahhh top gear , i dont know anything about cars but i find it highly entertaining and love drooling over all the nice shiny big cars that i know im never going to have !

Top Gear is good low brow sunday evening entertainment - not everything has to be all meaningfull and serve a higher purpose!

Top gear isn't just entertainment its also informative! fair enough if they want to stick a road safety section in there I'm not going to object, who would? I loved the destroying the caravan in a quarry by firing old cars out of a cannon!!.. and no it doesn't mean im going to go and try it.

I'm with Greenback on this one - used to actually quite like Top Gear in its old format, but find it such a switch-off now. There used to be a better mix if interesting stuff and useful information, the boy-racer stuff is OK, but that's ALL it is now. You might as well watch 'They Think it's All Over' - for smug in-jokes it'a about on a level. Maybe they just decided to switch their target viewers?

Top gear is a great programme with plenty of entertainment value, I watch the programme every week and I dont drive yobbish after watching it

I used to quite enjoy it many moons ago, not watched an entire episode for a long time. I think it's gone too trendy these days.

I prefer Fifth Gear, but don't plan my viewing, so usually miss it :(

I think PS2 and such similar games consoles have much to answer for.

It's about time a directive was issued that driving games should be more realistic.

Why is it always impossible to damage/destroy a car on a games console? If playing in an arcade, you should be made to 'pay' for the damage :hihi:

Ban it, what a laugh!

If you don't like it, don't watch it.

Top Gear is one of the few programmes that I do watch.

a ridiculous argument to ban it, the viewing figures are enough of an argument to keep it.
If you don't like it, don't watch it.

Originally posted by Greenback
I agree they should ban Top Gear. I object to the fact that my license fee goes towards funding this self-indulgent, vacuous smug-fest. All those people crowded round the stage, laughing heartily at the terrible "jokes", infantile "stunts", ker-razy challenges, and looking like they're having a really fun time. I'd rather chew my own arm off, frankly.

Clarkson's wildly skewed perception of his own hilarity really grates, and the fact that the British public lap up his boorish right-wing witterings makes me despair.

*exhales*

Can I ban all football from being shown on the BBC please.
I hate it, therefore I want it banned. Forget the fact that thousands of people love it - I hate it, so it should be banned.

Originally posted by Greenback
I object to the fact that my license fee goes towards funding this self-indulgent, vacuous smug-fest.

I object to the fact that my license fee goes towards Eastenders. Therefore, I call on it to be banned.

Originally posted by Greenback
I'd rather chew my own arm off, frankly.


That's a bit extreme.
When football comes on, or Eastenders, or any other programme I don't like, I simply don't watch.
Much easier than chewing my own arm off.

Don't let us stop you though.

Originally posted by jackthedog
Can I ban all football from being shown on the BBC please.
I hate it, therefore I want it banned. Forget the fact that thousands of people love it - I hate it, so it should be banned.

But football's great: full of drama, action, excitement, unpredictability. Top Gear isn't: full of loud bores, droning on about how liberating it is to smash things up.

It would be a better programme if they actually talked about cars in between the lengthy self-pleasuring sections. In my opinion :)

Originally posted by Greenback
But football's great: full of drama, action, excitement, unpredictability. Top Gear isn't: full of loud bores, droning on about how liberating it is to smash things up.

It would be a better programme if they actually talked about cars in between the lengthy self-pleasuring sections. In my opinion :)

you appear to have confused football with something interesting.

Football is full of 22 men chasing a ball around a field.

Topgear is full of intersting cars and commentary on how they drive.

I'm all for scrapping football, what a waste of my license money.

Not to sure if you are being serious about the football thing Greenback. I hope not but if you are it validates the fact that your opinion is irrelevant to me.
:D

Originally posted by Olive
I'm with Greenback on this one - used to actually quite like Top Gear in its old format, but find it such a switch-off now. There used to be a better mix if interesting stuff and useful information, the boy-racer stuff is OK, but that's ALL it is now. You might as well watch 'They Think it's All Over' - for smug in-jokes it'a about on a level. Maybe they just decided to switch their target viewers?

I'm with you too. Top gear used to be far more varied and have a lot of useful information about cars. It is entertaining now but in a different way and is a million miles from the Top Gear of a few years ago.
I think that there is an audience for the programme as it is now but maybe they should have created a new "Clarkson makes amusing jokes about speeding with an audience" type programme rather than changing the format of the old Top Gear so much.

Stella

Originally posted by Cyclone
you appear to have confused football with something interesting.

Football is full of 22 men chasing a ball around a field.

Topgear is full of intersting cars and commentary on how they drive.

I'm all for scrapping football, what a waste of my license money.


Again,

Football: hundreds of thousands of people scream, chant, dance and wave inside stadiums that are actually alive, while incredibly skilled athletes combine artistry with physical perfection in a game - the world's most popular sport, in fact - that's unpredicatible, subtle, violent, rousing and compelling.

Top Gear: Smug blokes slap each other on the back as a pair of Ladas are smashed into each other.

(PS Cyclone, I don't think football relies on licence fees to keep it going) :)

Originally posted by Greenback
Again,

Football: hundreds of thousands of people scream, chant, dance and wave inside stadiums that are actually alive, while incredibly skilled athletes combine artistry with physical perfection in a game - the world's most popular sport, in fact - that's unpredicatible, subtle, violent, rousing and compelling.

Top Gear: Smug blokes slap each other on the back as a pair of Ladas are smashed into each other.

(PS Cyclone, I don't think football relies on licence fees to keep it going) :)

I didn't say that it did. It requires money to be spent to get it on tv in order to waste bandwidth that could be devoted to programs rather than a large number of people watching a smaller number of people run around a field.

You have to accept that some people like topgear and some people like football, i'll accept that, i don't like football, I know that other people do.

So the argument that you don't like it is clearly a non-starter for removing a program from the listings.

It's also diverting this thread from it's original point that was that a bunch of interfering car haters would like to see it removed because it offends there own personal morality, which they'd like to shove down our throat.

Originally posted by Greenback
But football's great: full of drama, action, excitement, unpredictability. Top Gear isn't: full of loud bores, droning on about how liberating it is to smash things up.

Oh, I see. I must have been wrong.
It seems that football is good and Top Gear is rubbish. See I didn't know. I must have been mistaken, but now you've put me straight on the facts, I wholeheartedly retract my statement that football should be banned.


Oh, hang on...

Originally posted by Greenback
In my opinion :)

There you go.

Originally posted by Cyclone
It's also diverting this thread from it's original point that was that a bunch of interfering car haters would like to see it removed because it offends there own personal morality, which they'd like to shove down our throat.

Beautifully put.

Edited... can't keep up with the thread.

Originally posted by Cyclone
You have to accept that some people like topgear and some people like football, i'll accept that, i don't like football, I know that other people do.

So the argument that you don't like it is clearly a non-starter for removing a program from the listings.


I accept that some people do like Top Gear, just as some people enjoy eating jellied eels, wearing nipple clamps and foraging through dustbins for scraps of edible matter.

If the programme evolves at its current rate, pretty soon it the whole show will simply consist of a camera trained on Jeremy Clarkson, who will proceed to regurgitate "jokes" about speeding tickets, traffic cops and how the country has gone to the dogzzzzzz.... while a crowd of men (it's always just men) chortle away in the background, cheering and clapping like lobotomised seals while their soul slowly shrivels up into a black ball.

I also accept that some people will like Top Gear even more when this inevitability finally occurs.

Originally posted by Cyclone
It's also diverting this thread from it's original point that was that a bunch of interfering car haters would like to see it removed because it offends there own personal morality, which they'd like to shove down our throat.


You can only imagine how very, very sorry I am for diverting a very serious thread from its original point. Consider my wrists slapped.

For reference Greenback the Top Gear crowd is split 50/50 men and women. I applied for tickets and that is one of the requirements.

while a crowd of men (it's always just men) chortle away in the background, cheering and clapping like lobotomised seals while their soul slowly shrivels up into a black ball.

Your above statement could well be about football apart from one major difference, the men in the crowd are generally chanting racist or other abuse and throwing coins, then rushing off to get ****** and fight.

I don't see top gear requiring town centres to be almost closed and 10000 extra police to be on the streets, trying to keep the braindead morings from killing each other. All in the name of football :loopy:

Originally posted by neeeeeeeeeek
I don't see top gear requiring town centres to be almost closed and 10000 extra police to be on the streets, trying to keep the braindead morings from killing each other.

Maybe not - but I tell you what, if they ever dragged a speed camera up onto the stage, or perhaps a road safety campaigner, and Clarkson started working the crowd into a state of righteous fury over THE RIGHTS OF CAR OWNERS, the scene would make last night's events at the San Siro look like a picnic.

This thread title should be changed to "Football Vs Top Gear - which is best?"

Wish I'd never brought football into it now. It was only an example...

I like football AND top gear.


Which side of the argument does that put me in?

Maybe not - but I tell you what, if they ever dragged a speed camera up onto the stage

What are you going in about??

Don't bother telling me, I don't really care!

This thread does seem to have gone off track.

I like Top Gear, but I hate how unashamedly sexist it is - they need to wake up and realise that some women like fast cars too, and aren't always crap drivers in safe, 'womens' cars. I hate how Clarkson always says stuff like "this is the page three of cars" or, "when your wife is nagging you".

But then, no-ones forcing me to watch it, so I can't really complain. I just wish there was a good car program that wasn't so exclusive to men.

Originally posted by kathythebean
I like Top Gear, but I hate how unashamedly sexist it is - they need to wake up and realise that some women like fast cars too, and aren't always crap drivers in safe, 'womens' cars. I hate how Clarkson always says stuff like "this is the page three of cars" or, "when your wife is nagging you".

But then, no-ones forcing me to watch it, so I can't really complain. I just wish there was a good car program that wasn't so exclusive to men.

they've had women celebrities on before, in fact the fastest driver of the reasonably priced small car was a woman, she knocked jk off the top slot after he'd been there for most of the series.

Originally posted by neeeeeeeeeek
What are you going in about??


Well, I was just pointing out that–

Originally posted by neeeeeeeeeek
Don't bother telling me, I don't really care!


Oh, ok.

I was just having a bit of fun – not too difficult to understand, I wouldn't have imagined.

Anyway, glad that my opinion is so irrelevant that you contributed a post that does nothing except argue with itself. :rolleyes:

Top Gear has its faults. Maybe the 'blokiness' is a tad contrived at times. Perhaps thingsdo get a little juvenile. However, I don't know why people get so upset about Clarkson. I once heard a self-styled 'Radical Feminist' [an aggressive, bearded madwoman of a divorcee] describe him as a 'Patriarchal agent'. He is clearly an amiable, good-humoured cove who adores fast cars and women. What is wrong with that? Anyone who warns an audience that his car stereo 'contains traces of Barclay James Harvest' is good enough for me. Most women seem to like him, anyway.

Originally posted by Cyclone
they've had women celebrities on before, in fact the fastest driver of the reasonably priced small car was a woman, she knocked jk off the top slot after he'd been there for most of the series.


Yes, I know that. I wasn't really getting "so upset" about him, either. If you just re-read my post, i think I was fairly balanced about it.

(goes off to shave her beard) ;)

Originally posted by neeeeeeeeeek
I don't see top gear requiring town centres to be almost closed and 10000 extra police to be on the streets, trying to keep the braindead morings from killing each other. :loopy:

Yeah, coz Nottingham city centre is never used as a race track by the morons that feed on the propaganda peddled by the likes of Clarkson, and nobody has ever been killed in these illegal races :loopy:

I like the short guy, he's quite funny, and Mr Clarkson is ok, but I loath that other guy (if indeed he is human) who dresses like a scarecrow, I have to change channels when he comes on.

Alan Tichmarsh has the same effect on me, pure, blind, irrational hatred.

Originally posted by kathythebean
But then, no-ones forcing me to watch it, so I can't really complain. I just wish there was a good car program that wasn't so exclusive to men.
Fifth Gear, CH5?
Vicki Butler-Henderson :thumbsup:
http://www.five.tv/accessibility/programmes/fifthgear/

Originally posted by timo
I don't know why people get so upset about Clarkson. I once heard a self-styled 'Radical Feminist' [an aggressive, bearded madwoman of a divorcee] describe him as a 'Patriarchal agent'. He is clearly an amiable, good-humoured cove who adores fast cars and women. What is wrong with that?

I guess the feminist hates him because of his overt misogyny. The thing that really gets me about Clarkson is the way that he seems to actually gorge himself on his own witless utterances, to the point where he looks as if he believes himself to be undisputably the wittiest, most insightful man on the planet - rather than a droning bar-room bore. He has re-defined smugness, and I dread to think what will happen should his ego continue to increase exponentially.

Perhaps he will even form his own political party like his brother-in-pomposity Kilroy-Silk?

Originally posted by nick2
I like the short guy, he's quite funny, and Mr Clarkson is ok, but I loath that other guy (if indeed he is human) who dresses like a scarecrow, I have to change channels when he comes on.
I think Clarkson and er, the scarecrow sum up the current top gear. Have you noticed how many cool sports cars are owned by ageing ugly/fat men with leather elbow patches :hihi:

The whole programme seems to appeal to an older audience than it used to :suspect: (and we get to see the audience these days)

Originally posted by Strix
...morons that feed on the propaganda peddled by the likes of Clarkson...

Those juvenile tossers don't need Top Gear to convince them it'd be a good idea to race round Broadmarsh.

If you are looking to blame someone for that, look in the direction of Max Power magazine, Fast Car magazine, the annual Donny Ripspeed show and other events/publications/shows that glorify the modification and subsequent illegal dangerous driving of cheap hatchbacks.

I think we can quite safely say that removing Top Gear from the airwaves will not stop that particular activity.

Yeah, coz Nottingham city centre is never used as a race track by the morons that feed on the propaganda peddled by the likes of Clarkson, and nobody has ever been killed in these illegal races

So Clarkson and Top Gear are the cause of all boy racrers and street racing, Right, sorry, how could I have missed that!

Get a grip FFS. I would like to think you just put that to wind me up but I doubt it's true. You really are the mother from the Simpsons, 'Won't somebody please think of the children'

While we are at it we should ban all driving games, all films with a car in, hey, lets ban everything!

**addition**
The whole programme seems to appeal to an older audience than it used to (and we get to see the audience these days)

So is it this new breed of old top gear views that you blame Top gear for who are racing round Nottingham??

Originally posted by Strix
The whole programme seems to appeal to an older audience than it used to :suspect:

And in doing such, appeals less to the easily-influenced, irresponsible Boy Racer generation, who's ages average around the 19 year old mark.

Originally posted by neeeeeeeeeek
While we are at it we should ban all driving games, all films with a car in, hey, lets ban everything!

Why not? Recently, the Things That People Think Should Be Banned List has covered, amongst other things, chip pans and diesel engines.

In fact, a certain forum member fairly recently suggested our road signs are actually racist, as foreign people may not be able to understand them...

The PC brigade are in full force. And they don't like Clarkson.

Originally posted by jackthedog
I think we can quite safely say that removing Top Gear from the airwaves will not stop that particular activity.
It works like Diet Coke. It's not a cure on it's own :rolleyes:

Originally posted by jackthedog
In fact, a certain forum member fairly recently suggested our road signs are actually racist, as foreign people may not be able to understand them...

Some people don't understand sarcasm :rolleyes: And there's enough Brits who have no idea how to read a white disc with a black line through it :loopy:

Originally posted by neeeeeeeeeek
While we are at it we should ban all driving games,
Don't be so extremist.

Originally posted by Strix
I think PS2 and such similar games consoles have much to answer for.

It's about time a directive was issued that driving games should be more realistic.

Why is it always impossible to damage/destroy a car on a games console? If playing in an arcade, you should be made to 'pay' for the damage :hihi:

The other program (5th Gear) is much worse though, that woman is painfull to watch as she trys to be Clarkson with boobs and the Tiff guy is like a boy racer from Dore.

I can't even drive BTW, but the other half likes both programs, he also likes Most haunted.

Originally posted by Strix
It works like Diet Coke. It's not a cure on it's own :rolleyes:

Ah. Do you agree with this then:

Originally posted by neeeeeeeeeek
While we are at it we should ban all driving games, all films with a car in, hey, lets ban everything!

Tell me Strix, what else needs to be banned, in coordination with the withdrawal of Top Gear, to bring a successful end to all the things that make you use the roll-eyes smiley?

How much of a part, percentage-wise, do you think Top Gear plays in the current boy-racer problem in Nottingham, and other selected cities? I'd be interested to know.

If it's too hard to work out, maybe we could just keep banning all related things until one of them sees an end to the activity?

Originally posted by Strix
Don't be so extremist.

Why not? What will you call for a ban on next?
You have to turn your attention somewhere.
You'll always need someone to roll your eyes at.

I think you should practice polygamy Strix, you obviously have too much time on your hands with no wedding to plan.
:D

Well the real solution is to load speed cameras with live ammunition :D :hihi:

Sorry guys. I've had enough of this twaddle.

Anybody who has lost somebody close to them on our roads will always have a different view to those who are immune. The only way to change a peron's view if they believe boyracing is just fun is to run their mother over.

Sad, but there it is :(

:wave: not coming back here :wave:

Originally posted by Strix
:wave: not coming back here :wave:

Appreciated.

Greenback,
I respect your view, as always, but I think a lot of Clarkson's charm lies in the fact that he IS an 'act'. He is a gawky, gangling, middle-aged, unfashionable type who tries to cultivate a rakehelly image of sexual confidence and manly disregard for danger etc. The fact that he 'gets it wrong', so spectacularly, adds to his charm. I would like to bet that he is a million miles from that image in his private life. Clarkson on screen is a kind of contrived anti-hero. Frankly, in the early nineties when he first appeared regularly on our screens [correct me if I am wrong here], we needed him as an antidote to the insufferable likes of Ben Elton, who were appallingly patronising to women.

Nick,
Yes, the gentleman with the hair like a hayrick is rather an irritant. I agree wholeheartedly too re Titchmarsh. Like a perverted gnome, he is always hovering around Charlie Dimmock as her rehearsed , 'accidental' gardening mishaps reveal more of her ripe flesh. The little **** will long to lewdly disport himself with her in the greenhouse, plant pots sent flying by thrashing legs, echoing cries of heightened emotion etc...

Mod Comment: Please keep this thread nice, and on topic if you would like it to stay open

Sorry, got carried away by shared hatred of Titchmarsh.

Back to thread, who would be a suitable replacement for Clarkson, if indeed he needs replacing? I cannot think of anyone.

Originally posted by Kristian
Mod Comment: Please keep this thread nice, and on topic if you would like it to stay open

Has anyone told you how nice you look when your in a masterful mood :P

Back on topic, Radio Sheffield are running this story on their evening news programme, do we have a RS lurker who is peeping to see if they can pick up what's been flying around the forum all day.

In the light of 'heated debate' on this thread, I for one can think of greater dangers to the public than Jeremy Clarkson and Top Gear. Jack the Dog is right. There are no grounds to ban the programme just because it features people driving at fast speeds around a race track.

In the scheme of things, Clarkson is hardly a threat to the nation. Alan Titchmarsh's sinister, phallocentric, 'Groundforce', on the other hand, should be removed from our screens immediately.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/gardening/tv_and_radio/gforce_meetteam.shtml
Titchmarse is no longer in the program.

Good, and I think 'Titchmarse' is more appropriate too...

I think Top Gear is great........BUT ...... and it's a big 'but' , the 'Star in a Reasonably Priced Car bit is absolute dross. Celebrities boringly harping on about themselves is the mindnumbingly pointless ten minutes that spoils it.

A big positive is that Tiff (look at me, I can drive and squeak at the same time) Needell isn't around anymore. Boy, was he cringe-making!

Jeremy, James May and Richard Hammond make a good team when 'batting' off each other.

Their antics don't make me want to do a 'J' turn on the A57, anymore than House Doctor makes me want to put a fountain in my front room.

Greenback's arguments are so elegantly articulated it seems churlish to take issue. However, despite being opposed to Clarkson on every conceivable level (well, nearly), honesty compels me to report that I find many of his utterances amusing. I also loved the feature where cars were fired onto a target in the middle of a gravel pit with a caravan at the bullseye - what a hoot. My only real complaint about the programme is that it seems to go on forever; half an hour would be fine. The two overgrown schoolboy sidekicks can also be a good larf. I take the point about Worzel Gummidge's hair, but in my view he is redeemed by the velve jacket. Velve jackets are to be encouraged.

But what joy it has given me to read of other people's hatred of Alan T**tfarce. Merely banning him wouldn't be enough - I suggest a firing squad. And yes, I would pull the trigger.

Alan T********h was gotten rid of because the BBC stipulates in their Code of Practice - Para 38DD section 9 - that "A programme of one hour duration, and shown before the watershed (9pm) shall contain no more than two (2) visible breasts at the same time."

So I assume that as there were 3 t*ts on show, they had to get rid of one of them. As Charlie Dimmock's were hired as 'a pair', Alan Tit******* had to go.

Makes good sense really.
:)

No, Lord Snooty, much as I like you, you shall not have your finger on the trigger. When my New League of Empire Loyalists come to power [as surely they must?], mine will be the finger upon the trigger. Titchmarsh shall indeed face a firing squad, but firstly, for his vulgar snubbing of my Aunt at Southport Flower Show, when the dear lady requested the oaf's autograph, he shall be subjected to 're-education' along Viet Cong lines. This would involve solitary confinement for an unspecified length of time, in order that the moronic dwarf can reflect upon his crimes.

After a suitable period has elapsed, I will invite you, together with a selection of suitable posters [Red Robbo, Nick 2, Kristian, Boroughgal, Foo Fighter etc] to revenge yourselves upon Titchmarsh; humiliating him with pointed sticks, pushing him into dog messes, and generally ridiculing and mocking him. The penultimate delight will be the application of the Bastinado, where the soles of the broadcaster/porn novellist's feet are beaten to near pulp. Finally, after [permit me a little mild indulgence] an application of some quite peculiar, and devilishly- sadistic techniques employed by the Japanese Kempei Tei of WW2, Titchmarsh would indeed be shot. Shot, in a manner of speaking, as the instruments of his execution would be doctored flamethrowers. Go on then, you can pull the trigger Snooty, old bean. I don't like violence.

Originally posted by Greenback
I agree they should ban Top Gear. I object to the fact that my license fee goes towards funding this self-indulgent, vacuous smug-fest. All those people crowded round the stage, laughing heartily at the terrible "jokes", infantile "stunts", ker-razy challenges, and looking like they're having a really fun time. I'd rather chew my own arm off, frankly.

Clarkson's wildly skewed perception of his own hilarity really grates, and the fact that the British public lap up his boorish right-wing witterings makes me despair.

*exhales*

My license fee probably pays towards crap you may watch/like but I aint moaning about it. Top gear is entertainment it might not be your sort but hey the simple answer to that is to turn over to a Tv programme you do wanna watch.

http://www.answers.com/topic/alan-titchmarsh
Sorry off topic but i'm sure he will appear on top gear as c*nto in a punto or do a fastist lap in a Lamborghini c*ntoff

For those amongst us who love Clarkson and Co, here is the latest fun stuff from their web site

http://www.topgear.com/content/fun_stuff/carbage/0/

Originally posted by owdlad
For those amongst us who love Clarkson and Co, here is the latest fun stuff from their web site

http://www.topgear.com/content/fun_stuff/carbage/0/

Thats brilliant, and carries the tradition of the terse descriptions :hihi:

Some of those vans cross the line into "so bad it's good" territory. You can imagine them featuring in The Jetsons or something.

I had to respond to Strix's last post, here's the PM I sent him.

Strix,
I feel the need to respond to this post, and since you said you're not coming back to the thread I guess I have to pm you.

Well the real solution is to load speed cameras with live ammunition

Sorry guys. I've had enough of this twaddle.

Anybody who has lost somebody close to them on our roads will always have a different view to those who are immune. The only way to change a peron's view if they believe boyracing is just fun is to run their mother over.

Sad, but there it is

not coming back here



I lost a close friend 6 months ago to being hit by a car.
But i'm afraid that you are clearly talking nonsense.
On the one hand you say that the show appeals to an older audience, and it generally shows car with costs upwards of 20k. So how on earth do you think this encourages people to modify a nova and race it around a car park?
And for that matter, have you any idea how many accidents involve modified cars and how many not. I'm fairly certain that the people who modify there car, actually care about it, and so when not racing around a car park they are actually quite careful.
My friend was killed by a woman in a mondeo late for work on a monday morning. And I expect that's how the majority of pedestrians are killed when they aren't at fault.
You may also be interested to know that in about 80% of cases the pedestrian is at fault!

Oh no! I don't even have channel 5! hehe..

Worse than top gear is that braniacs program on sky that the little guy off top gear (love him) presents; its drivel!

Who could replace Clarkson? ME!!! The beauty of the idea is it's simplicity (and a huge wage for me :) ) Direct your letters and petitions to the head of the Beeb. In return I will fire the guy that none of you like and have you all on as guests (thus placing us on the 'inside', poised to carry out timo's well planned attack on Titchmarsh).

Originally posted by timo
...he shall be subjected to 're-education' along Viet Cong lines. This would involve solitary confinement for an unspecified length of time, in order that the moronic dwarf can reflect upon his crimes.

After a suitable period has elapsed, I will invite you, together with a selection of suitable posters [Red Robbo, Nick 2, Kristian, Boroughgal, Foo Fighter etc] to revenge yourselves upon Titchmarsh; humiliating him with pointed sticks, pushing him into dog messes, and generally ridiculing and mocking him. The penultimate delight will be the application of the Bastinado, where the soles of the broadcaster/porn novellist's feet are beaten to near pulp. Finally, after [permit me a little mild indulgence] an application of some quite peculiar, and devilishly- sadistic techniques employed by the Japanese Kempei Tei of WW2, Titchmarsh would indeed be shot. Shot, in a manner of speaking, as the instruments of his execution would be doctored flamethrowers. Go on then, you can pull the trigger Snooty, old bean. I don't like violence.
Whilst I agree with the general thrust of your proposals, I must point out that there is a general drift off topic occurring...

...not to worry, this can be easily remedied, rather than using "doctored flamethrowers" for the final act, simply tie AT up inside a caravan, in the centre of a large target in a gravel pit, and fire cars...

...anyway, I'm sure you get the general idea.

See, back to Top Gear in one easy move.

;)

More thoughts from Chairman Jezza. :thumbsup:

http://www.topgear.com/content/features/stories/139clarkson/01/