No real point to this post, more of moan, as I had to get this off my chest.

Today, I had a phone call from my new HV asking whether she could come and see me in an hour's time. I agreed and they came and did a transfer in check and my DD's 2 year check (even though she's not 2 yet).

I really don't like the way HV's talk to you as if you are an idiot. I was telling them how my DD has decided to potty train herself over the last few days. I got a small lecture on how we should wait till she is 2 and half years old. So I've ignored that piece of advice, as my DD is clearly ready and I'm encouraging her, but not making her do it. I got few other remarks about things. Including all the bruises on her legs - apparently only boys have bruised legs :confused:

I asked them if my DD's legs are normal, as they splay out from the knees and just wondered really, although they cause her no distress or problems. The HV told me to make an appointment with the Dr's and that I probably would be referred to orthopedics's as she's got knocked knees. I managed to see a Dr today (I can't believe I got an appointment it usually takes days), who wasn't concerned at all, basically poo'ed everything the HV said. So I've worried and ran around to Dr's for no reason (thankfully).

Awww Doodle, that sounds like a nightmare. I think we've already covered that HV's are not my favourite people but that just sounds abysmal.
It sounds to me like babydoodle is just fantastic for the potty training and it's more than possible for it to happen (I just wish my girls would get their act together). I'm glad you're ignoring the HV on that one.
The bruises on her legs? That kind of thing absolutely infuriates me, beyond all belief. Only boys have bruised legs? What century is she living in? How stupid! How do these people get jobs with such desperate incompetency clearly ingrained into their feeble brains?
Regarding child protection training, which she hopefully would have had, there are decent and proper ways and means to make enquiries but to make such a dumbass remark afterwards is insanity.
But, despite my obvious and extensive disgust and amazement that this woman isn't in a mental health unit for the clearly delusional, I'm glad babydoodles legs were fine.
I'd love for your HV to see twingle 2s legs and make comments. T2 is the nuttiest, most confident child who will try anything and has the bruises to prove it. T1 is the delicate little flower who is sensitive to everything and yet has a bit of a have a go attitude. My girls have bruises in al the normal places which get bashed and bumped as a result of toddlerhood. They also have a few extras as a result of having a sibling who gets right up their nose :D

I hope the new house is lurvely. Have you settled in?

Oh dear, sounds like you've got a right lemon of a HV there doodle!

I think i've dropped on really lucky because my HV is brilliant. All toddlers end up with bruised legs - part and parcel of being a toddler! As for potty training, I always think you should go at the childs pace and if she's wanting to use a potty then that's brilliant. Babybonny (2 today!) is starting to figure out when he's 'doing something' and we have a potty in the house but pretty much waiting for him to come round to the idea of using it - maybel it'll happen soon, maybe not. He usually tells me when his nappy is 'dirty' and I think that's pretty good going.

I thought they'd changed the assessment to 2 and a half now? BB hasn't has his (I thought it was around 18months) and i'm sure she said they said they've now started doing them at around 30 months.?

Oh dear - I will have to give our HV a hug. Thankfully ours is no nonsense and understands children develop in their own way at their own time.

Though our 2yr and 3yr assessments were A4 pieces of paper posted to our house... This is how kids slip through the net of society.

my health visitor was the same.
When she came to see me an my daughter at home she was asking loads of questions.
She said to me can you cope cause you an our partner are only young (23). I said yeah of course i can just cause im young does not mean im a bad mum also she started goin on about social services an how they are involved with them. (like she was making out that i was goin to hurt my little girl- i would never hurt her she is the best thing in my life!). When she went all i did was cry as she made me feel an look bad. i have made my choice not to see that h/v again she has made me feel bad once an im not letting her do it again!

Isnt there a governing body you can complain too? or refuse to see the health visitor and take your child to see the practice nurse instead? Both my HV's have been great but if one made me feel like some of these posts, i think i's refuse them access and speak to the manager of the practice

As if kids turn 2 years 6 months and suddenly say "right I am going to use a potty now because the health visitor says I should"............ Kids do things at their pace and no one elses ! I wonder if any of these people have had kids of their own.

As for bruises, I learned when I was with a violent partner that if they have been done by someone deliberately they are quite often not in areas which would be easily visible. Girls are just as likely to get bruises as boys, in fact some girls I know are more daring than the boys !!

Don't take it to heart, just think that they don't know what they are talking about.

I have had this from my old HV, im 26 with 4 kids, and i ALWAYS get the whole speech of "Are you coping?" and "how is family life?" my old HV used to make a point of calling me around the 1st of every month, drove me potty, the new HV where i have moved too is great shes been once didnt give me the whole lecture and posts info out on toddler groups out now and then.

I am dreading when the baby comes as the HV will be back in our lives! but i certainly wont be letting them in the house once the baby is a few weeks. they are so patronising!

my HV referred mini sav for speech therapy as i mentioned she had a very slight stammer when she was tired and only at the start of a sentence. well we have been today for that thereapy and she is advanced for her age and has the speech of a 5 year old (she is 3 and half!)

as for the potty training thing is it not up to the child to decide when they want to try things? i started potty training mini sav from about 18 months by leaving the potty out and if she wanted to use it she would do so and then at 2 years old we stopped the nappies completely and she coped fine.

Sorry, just re-read my post, I will just point out that the violent partner is an ex and not the man I am married to now....... oops. ;0)

i agree that some hv can be over bearing and patronising but i've been lucky and found mine to be extremely supportive(i'm a single parent) and at some points i wouldn't have known i was doing a good job if they hadn't pointed out all the great thin gs i was doing and how well i was coping. I think its good that they ask if people are coping as some people might not be but dont want to say, but if there asked it might just give them the opportunity to open up and get ant help that they do need or just some reassurance that they are actually doing ok.

I dont think its in HV vocabulary to say ....... 'your child is very healthy and happy' .... they ALWAYS find something, they either are concerned because your child is just inside thw growth chart .... or just outside it, .... toilet training too erly, too late, speech not good enough, hearing problems, mis-aligned legs, wrong diet .... too much sleep, too little sleep, ............. and i have noticed that they can be very patronising with first time or young mums

It's a fine line to tread, being a HV, I can well imagine. Mine was all right, as far as I can remember, and I'm hoping to get a good experience this time, too...tho now I feel that I know and am confident enough to find an alternative of not.
Like samc, our 2 year assessment was fill in a form and send it in...and a 3 year one has yet to be suggested in any form - just as well I am confident in my child's well-being and bolshy enough to demand appointments if I needed them.

They have a hard job to do...yet what better reason to choose people with tact and intelligence? The wrong words at a hormonal moment can send a woman into the depths of depression...and more dangerously someone who is a bit dim is surely not the best person to be looking out for signs of actual abuse.

Well the HV phoned me this morning to say that she had spoken to the doctor and found out I had gone and they just want to see me again after she is 2. Which I agreed to with the doctor, but I really don't think the doctor was concerned and just did it as a matter of course. The HV asked me if I was happy with that - I should have said No, I'm not happy with you giving me the run around and making out it's worse than it was. But I just answered yes in all the right places.

I do think HV's roles are a good idea in theory, but I have yet to find a HV that's any good. I'm on to my third set of HV's (second time I've moved since having DD) and not one of them has been any good. I could have really done with more support at the begining when I think I was suffering from post natal depression, but had none.

Zebra - we've settled in well in the new house, thanks. So glad we have finally got our own home, where we are going to stay for more than 1 year.

My dd was completely potty trained (night and day) by 2 yrs 5 months - she wanted to do it, I let her and followed her lead and she just took to it quickly.

She has loads of bruises, always following over!!

I've been to the Doctors yesterday for the further check up on DD's knees. We have now been referred to the Orthopaedics Dept at Sheffield Children's and should get an appointment around October. I'm refusing to worry about it, because I think the way he the doctor dealt with it initially, to me seemed there wasn't a problem. I think he's covering his back. But we'll see. I'm annoyed more at the rollercoaster of emotions that you go through. When I told DH, he was really upset and thought she was going to end up having an op and thought it was something we have done. So I'm being extra calm, for DH's sake as well and told him not to worry about it till the day.

Oh and on the potty front - it's still not happening. We have days without nappies and we are fine, but the pants in the equation and she has accidents. So I let her lead the way, today she's ripped off her nappy, so we are having a nappyless day :hihi:

nappyless days.....what fun....like this morning when I discovered little un had taken off her nappy in bed and pooed....i was so glad to wake up this morning :roll: :hihi:

My friends HV attributed her baby's lack of feeding to the phases of the moon and starsign.

Seriously.

My friends HV attributed her baby's lack of feeding to the phases of the moon and starsign.

Seriously.

Well of course! My daughter has stopped eating sandwiches because theres a full moon due. :suspect::confused::hihi:

geez soooo glad for my hv then

acctually listens and doesnt spout mumbo jumbo

wouldnt worry bout potty training, was told it was something my daughter should be able to do by now, shes not a clue if shes wet or dirty and is 3

honeyb, i have a child who likes removing her nappy, wasnt thrilled the first time she smeared it thou

I have to say all my HV's have been good.

In regards to the knee issue I wondered when I read your post if your daughter may have fallen arches I have this and one of my kids has too.
Basically the arch under your foot can sometimes be weak and fall inwards causing the kees to come together - instead of the weight being on the outside of your foot its on the inside so your ankles and knees fall inwards. It hasn't been a big deal for me or son and I was given some inner soles for my shoes to help correct it but they were rubbish as I couldnt find any shoes that I could fit into with them so I gave up. My knees sometimes swell up and if I have been standing for a while my legs/knees will hurt a bit but that is all.

http://www.forwardarch.com/images/flat_arch.jpg

This link gives you an idea of what it may look like

Thanks mlc1. It could be fallen arches and I'm glad to hear they don't cause too much of a problem.

I used to live in Dronfield, I'm guessing you haven't had the HV that I had ;)

I really cannot believe a HV would say the stuff about the moon being the problem! She really is up there on the scale of daft HV's!

No haven't had the pleasure of meeting that one - what did you say when she said that ? did you manage to keep a straight face?

Hi there,

I haven't got much faith in my HV & just do my own thing. Babybell has always got bruises all over her legs & has done more or less since she was walking. She seems to thrive on rough & tumble, I think as a result of 3 older siblings.

Thought I would update with what happened at the Hospital for DD's knocked knees. Basically we were told it's normal, and just that it's happening at bit sooner for DD because she walked early (11 months). The knees will get worse for a year and then get better.

I'm really annoyed, because I feel this is something that my GP could have told me. Instead, we've wasted an hospital appointment and I've been so stressed trying not to be stressed about the appointment (if you know what I mean). I wouldn't have minded, but I asked my HV "are they normal?". So if it is, which the orthopaedics Dr says, then why has my HV and GP made such a song and dance about it? Enough of me being stressed about it. I'm relieved it's normal, but just feel I've wasted NHS resources to find it out.

I really don't like the way HV's talk to you as if you are an idiot. I was telling them how my DD has decided to potty train herself over the last few days. I got a small lecture on how we should wait till she is 2 and half years old. So I've ignored that piece of advice, as my DD is clearly ready and I'm encouraging her, but not making her do it. .

I started potty training mini sav from about 12 months, we just left the potty out and if she wanted to use it she could, when she turned 2 (November birthday) we decided to take it further and just completly stopped using nappies at the start or the new nursery term in january.. started off with a couple accidents a day and after about 2 week it was settled down and 1 or 2 accidents a week. after a couple months it was down to every few weeks.

health visitors all sing from differnt books! one will tell you its ok while another will tell you its not!

Ha health visitor......whats 1 of them??

my little boy is 3 and a bit and we've not seen or heard from 1 since i last took him to clinic a few days b4 his 1st birthday as i wanted to have him weighed......i stopped taking him to clinic as it was only a drop in service, they were adamant you couldnt make an appointment and it didnt matter whether you got there early or later average wait to see them was about an hour......

I've never had any concerns about my son and have since moved and changed surgery's so i know i could always phone my local 1 now and get an appointment but dont feel the need to.....

I know some of his little friends have had a 2 and a 3 yr old check up, where the hv has contacted them to be seen but i've never heard anything.........

I took my lo to the drop in centre today and admitted that I had began weaning him (he is nearly 25 weeks) I told her he was having 3 meals a day - I began to get a lecture until I told her how he was behaving (smacking his lips for food) and letting her know that I knew exactly what he wanted! Anyway in the end she agreed what I was doing was best and to carry on.

Lauren84 1 - HV 0!