I read this parenting thread a lot, despite not being a parent ( I am an 'auntie' to several angels though so think I'm allowed). And I'm curious. I have a friend who had her first at 16 years old (daughter is now 16 and has turned out marvellously despite diffficult circumstances). I also have a friend who is having her first at 36.

How old (if you forgive me for being rude) are the mums to be on here?

Biological clock not quite ticking yet and not sure that it ever will. But if it does kick in in the future, how old is 'too old'?

Well my dad's partner had their twins at 43 and she's a brilliant mum, full of energy and patience, which is a tough call with two 2 year olds! My dad is 60 and he's doing fine too, they're all really happy.
I don't see why people have a problem with women having babies a bit later on in life. For years grandmas have been taking over the reins for whatever reason and doing a great job.
The only thing about being a bit older is the difficulty in conceiving that can occur.

Well Im 41 and Littleboo is 19 months, I do have 4 older children though ranging from 12 to 18.I have so much patience now but saying that Little boo is really good.

Well my dad's partner had their twins at 43 and she's a brilliant mum, full of energy and patience, which is a tough call with two 2 year olds! My dad is 60 and he's doing fine too, they're all really happy.
I don't see why people have a problem with women having babies a bit later on in life. For years grandmas have been taking over the reins for whatever reason and doing a great job.
The only thing about being a bit older is the difficulty in conceiving that can occur.

Your dad had twins at 60? Wow! that's impressive. I know quite a lot of people (mums) who have kids in their 40s but it seems to be frowned upon. Tell me this isn't true!!:hihi:

Well Im 41 and Littleboo is 19 months, I do have 4 older children though ranging from 12 to 18.I have so much patience now but saying that Little boo is really good.


So do you think it was easier being a younger mum or an older mum?

Your dad had twins at 60? Wow! that's impressive. I know quite a lot of people (mums) who have kids in their 40s but it seems to be frowned upon. Tell me this isn't true!!:hihi:

Well he just had the easy part in making them! I can't think why people frown on having kids later on, it's probably more to do with their own insecurities. I'd like to think by the time you're 40 you're probably confident enough in yourself to not give a toss what others think about you and your decisions! What have you heard against it?

67 is too old (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1024834/70-year-old-mother-year-old-daughter-I-did-women-everywhere.html) IMO

Well he just had the easy part in making them! I can't think why people frown on having kids later on, it's probably more to do with their own insecurities. I'd like to think by the time you're 40 you're probably confident enough in yourself to not give a toss what others think about you and your decisions! What have you heard against it?

I'm not against mums over40! and i've got a few years to go til I get there, but it seems on doing a bit of googling there's a lot of scaremongering about older mums - health dangers and inability to be good/healthy/running around mums (not my views).

And as you Forum lot seem so friendly, I thought I'd get more helpful insights here than on google!

67 is too old (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1024834/70-year-old-mother-year-old-daughter-I-did-women-everywhere.html) IMO

That's a relief then, I've got another 30 years to think about it!!

Agreed though. 67 Is TOO OLD.

:hihi:

I think times have changed and so mums do have kids older - from a child's perspective (that's me) - my mum had me when she was 37 years old - I am now 38 and she is 75 - she is now mentally still all there but physically is crippled with arthritis and so not able to be the mum i wish I had ie going shopping together, being there when my son was little to help out, instead I feel more like I have another child (a 75 yr old one) and I have to do a lot for her - That's why after years of trying for another baby (after we conceived my son who's now almost 12), I decided when I got to 35 that I would stop trying. I know some 75 year olds are still running around but something to consider...............

a relation of mine has just given birth to a healthy baby girl .... at the grand age of 43 (mom, not baby :hihi:) ..... shes got a 16 and 18 yr old (all same dad) .... and good luck to her. Personally i couldnt think of anything worse, but each to their own

I wonder if I would have found it easier if I had had my DD when I was younger. I was 30 when I had my daughter and the whole concept of sacrificing my entire life, time and money to my daughter was very overwhelming. But I don't think age really matters too much, everyone has different energy levels etc.

But one thing I do think should be taken into account is that the older you are when you have your child, then the chances are that you won't be around for some of the important things in their lives, like weddings and grandchildren. My DH's parents were in their late thirties when they had him, and my DH's Dad died 10 years ago and has missed out on our wedding and his only grandchild and it's a real shame.

i'm not sure, my mums only just going through the menopause now at 52 but hits out at any suggestions that she should have tried for another baby a couple of years ago :hihi:
I think both younger and older mums have something to offer...younger mums tend to have more energy, bounce back after pregnancy and birth easier, will still be relatively young when the kids are older ect, science has proved that the 'best' eggs get used first ect, but I think older mums will have more patience, wisdom, life experience ect, as well as having had the chance to sort out a decent career and good savings...
I dont agree with those really old women having babies though, I do think some consideration should be shown as to whether you are going to see your children actually grow up

My mum who adopted me was 46 and did a fab job of bringing me up and i was probably quite a trial lol I am now 44 and the chances of me having a wee little one are i would imagine slim but if it did happen I am sure i could be the mum any child would want to have as a mum

I'm not against mums over40! and i've got a few years to go til I get there, but it seems on doing a bit of googling there's a lot of scaremongering about older mums - health dangers and inability to be good/healthy/running around mums (not my views).

And as you Forum lot seem so friendly, I thought I'd get more helpful insights here than on google!

I didn't say you were against it at all! I was wondering what you had heard against it!

I don't think there is a specific age but I do think that younger moms tend to have a better relatioship with their sons daughters.

My grandma had my auntie 9 months before my mum had me. My Grandma passed away years ago so my aunt is now left without her mum, I know this can happen to anyone of any age but theres more chance, also they didn't have a particulary good relationship as my Grandma wasn't "down with the kids" so to speak and was very set in her ways, my aunt found it difficult to talk to her.

M mum had me at 23 and we have a fab relationship, we have girlie nights in and out, I've been able to talk to her about anything over the years, sex, drugs, men etc.... She really is my best friend and I think its becuase she had me at a relativly(sp) young age :)

There are pros and cons to motherhood with any age.

I turned 38 a fortnight after I gave birth to my first son (as yet my only, we'd like another!). Lots of my peers are older mothers as we all went to Uni, travelled extensively, had our careers etc before thinking of settling down and having children. Quite a few never got round to it at all or, sadly, found they'd left it too late. That's one BIG disadvantage of waiting til later to have kids. Fertility issues and not being able to have a larger family. And the tiredness - I certainly have less energy than when I was 30.

However, there are real advantages. I was financially secure and have no money worries, I'm older and wiser, I've seen how others are doing it (watched very carefully) and try to avoid some of those pitfalls/do things differently. I was educated to postgraduate level (and more!) and understand the education system so much better than my parents, which I believe will help me to make better choices for my son. Plus all the other maturity and knowledge which age can bring can be passed on to your kids, so hopefully helping them in life. It is a bit sad that I mayn't be around very long to see any grandchildren, but it's a great incentive to stay healthy and look after myself. If I can't help practically, I'll hopefully be able to help financially.

However, I'd say don't wait til later than 35 to start trying if you really want kids, as you may not be able to if you leave it longer.

Im 26 and my second baby is due in 10 weeks, my daughter was born when I was 23. I wanted to have children around this age as I have a good relationship with my mum who is 47 and is young enough to enjoy time with my kids and also is there for me and I wanted to have that kind of relationship with my kids, I wanted to be young enough to be there and be activly involved when they are older. Also me and my hubby planned things so when we did try for a family we would have no debt so financially secure and could manage on his wage as I wanted to be able to stay home with my kids which was important to me. That said this is just my opinion and what I wanted for my family, I dont see a problem with women having babies in their 40's but past that their is an increased risk to health problems to the baby so i think older women need to think about that and aslo they need to think about if there going to be around for the child in later life, say in their 20's

As an 'older' parent who came from an 'older' parent I see no problem. So I'm not as keen on rolling around on the floor as I would have been at age 20, but I was far too busy partying and at Uni to think about being responsible.

Did you know the world's oldest natural mother was 59? So somehow I think late 30s is NOT old! ;)

I say do it exactly how you like. I hate all this idea that everything should be 'perfect'.

I think the thing people are forgetting is that parenthood stretches far beyond birth and toddlerhood. If you have a child at 50, are you really going to be a great parent for your kids when they are 21? At 60, you'd be 81 - too old.

We decided not to have any more kids after 40, because we couldn't imagine still bringing them up in our 60s. I'm not saying 40 should be the cut off for everybody, but it's certainly the time to start considering whether having a/another child is fair or practical.

Im 22 and have 2 kids and one on the way. We decided to have kids early lol.. No more though.. lol

I had my first at 32 and my second is cooking as we speak at the healthy 'old' age of 35. I object to being considered 'older' at the hospital, as I actually feel my age range is a pretty average one for women these days to be having children - and even just starting to have children.
My mother had me at 28 and my husband's mum was well into her 30s, both quite late for their time, and I can vouch for the fact that not only have they been very active all our lives, they are still capable and spend masses of time with their grandchild, taking on part of the care for him...in fact in many cases, they appear to have more energy to play, as they work less, lol.

I did make the decision that 35 was my cut-off point, but that was personal. I found it hard going at 32 - not because I was too old, but because it was such a huge change - and while I honestly think it would have been harder and totally overwhelming if I'd been younger and less ready, I also decided that I wanted a point after which I could have a clear cut decision that there would be no more.

People are living much longer and healthier lives now - my child still has 3 of his 4 great-grandparents still living and in pretty good nick. I think you have to up the acceptable ages a bit. Personally, I'd like to think my childbearing days were behind me at 40, but I wouldn't start questioning someone else's decision to become a parent until after 46 or so.

I had my son at 25 (he's a year old in 2 weeks) and he wasn't planned. We are struggling financially, I'm still a student etc. BUT I wasn't going to give up my chance to have a baby because I've wanted to be a Mum for years and I have health issues that leave me with a 50% chance of miscarriage. Therefore I didn't feel I was in the position to play God (although I am most definitely pro-choice) because it may have been my only chance.

I'm blessed to have a very healthy and happy little boy and we would love at least 1 more. I would be able to have 1 more naturally but after that my body may not hold up, so we would hope to be in a position to adopt later on (which has always been a dream of mine), because we'd ideally love 4 children.

We're going to leave it a few more years yet - I don't get my MSc until next March and I'd like to actually have a job for a bit as well - a proper one which I can get maternity leave from and return to afterwards instead of the crap I've had previously. I've got my implant in until January 2011, so depending on circumstances we'll probably start trying in Spring '11 for a winter baby (we have our summer son - I'd love a snow queen!). But I don't want to be having any children after 35 really - I just wouldn't be up to it!

I had my first when I was in my teens, she's now 25. My second will be two next week.

Having had one at each end of the spectrum I can honestly say there's pro's and con's for each. You've just got to do what feels right for you.

Although in my 40's, age was never mentioned as an issue or even slight concern by midwife or hospital.

I agree there Bonny there are pros and cons I was 22 when I had my first child shes now 18 and 39 when I had Littleboo I get more comments because I have 5 children than I do about being an older mum. I have as much energy now and more patience and yes I do find time to give plenty of attention to all of them.

I'm 24 and i have 3 gorgeous kids, 2 daughters aged 6 and 5, and a baby boy who is 8 months. I had my first 2 months before i was 18. I don't think it matters if you are a young or old mum, it's when the time is right for you.

I had my first aged 22 and second at 24yrs.One is 13 now and I would not have anymore only because 2 lads are enough for us nothing to do with age.I think it is rubbish to say having kids young means you have a better relationship with your child.My mom was 17yrs when she had me and my nan [dad's mom] brought me up for most of my life.She died a few years ago now in her late 90's and we had loads in common.My mom and me had nothing in common.My other nan [moms nan]was pregnant twice the same time as my mom.I don't think age is an issue as long as the child is loved and looked after.

I agree there Bonny there are pros and cons I was 22 when I had my first child shes now 18 and 39 when I had Littleboo I get more comments because I have 5 children than I do about being an older mum. I have as much energy now and more patience and yes I do find time to give plenty of attention to all of them.


That's a good insight, from a mum that has had kids at both a young age and older. Most of my friends are 35 plus and are just having their first. Like I said originally, my biological click isn't ticking, but I do sometimes think that as I get nearer to 40 it may do so. So it's good to know that if that if I do get the urge to be a mum, it's not an impossibility for a good few years!:)

I had my 1st when I'd just turned 30 in 1995 and one nurse had written "elderly prima gravida"which I think is medical speak for old 1st timer!I was 39 when I had my 5th and last...very stressful pregnancy...high downs result,blood pressure,transverse lie...all fab in end though.

Had my first at 23, 2nd at 25 and will have #3 in Nov - I will be 28... No more for me..

Happily married but finances always a struggle - can't see how that would have been improved whenever we had kids.. in fact when we started 5 years ago we had a much smaller mortgage and living costs i.e. fuel, food etc.. lower.

DH works full time and I work PT around the kids.. will be happy to be 'child free' by 50, and able to lend a grand parent hand whilst fit and healthy - looking forward to doing some travelling with DH and maybe moving to the country.

We chose to do it young and wouldn't change our experience for the world!

Another of our reasons was the increased risk of infertility, down's, CF, miscarriage, c-sections and complications etc... I don't think it's a bad idea to make the most of your late 20's as it gives you a chance to have a big family too. If you don't start until 30 / 35 you could be 40+ having your 3rd or 4th child.. and then you're looking at still having children about as you retire.. and that wasn't for us

I had my 1st when I'd just turned 30 in 1995 and one nurse had written "elderly prima gravida"
Elderly? Good grief! That's insane.
What about the women having babies in their 40's? Does that make them the geriatrics of the babymakers?
The one's in their 50's must be positively miraculous if 30 and elderly is anything to go by.
I wonder what they call them? (GRANDparents! :D )