I've can only remember this one grandma told me, but I'm hoping for many more contributions of funny verses, poems etc, the sillier the better, but keep it clean please.

If your Bob dunt gi ah Bob
that bob that your Bob owes
ah Bob, ah Bob's goin' to give
your Bob a bob int eye


Excuse my spelling of dialect but that's how grandma said it :D

Blacky, blacky beetle
stick him on a needle,
pull his hair, make him swear,
Blacky blacky beetle.


God knows what it meant buy my parents were always reciting that to me when I was a sprog.

One fine day, in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords, and shot each other...

(there is more, but I cannot remember the rest- sorry. I'm sure others will be able to fill in the gaps)


or how about

"Not last night but the night before
Three tom-cats came knocking at my door
One had a fiddle,
One had a drum,
And one had a pancake
Stuck to his bum!"

and the third is a bit of a risque one.. I'd better not say any more of it.

Once upon a time
The birds (*cough) the Line
And the monkeys chewed tobacco

A little piggy run
with his fingers up his bum,
Shouting `whats the matter`

God I forgot about that one!

Thanks Jabbers and PT for those :D
I love the 2nd one PT

:shocked: jabbers, Itried to keep it clean! lol

:shocked: jabbers, Itried to keep it clean! lol

I know... I cant stop myself :D

A little piggy run
with his fingers up his bum,
Shouting `whats the matter`

God I forgot about that one!

Now you just made that one up, didn't you :hihi:

Now you just made that one up, didn't you :hihi:

No its the second part of the Once upon a time a bird... the line one!

While I was walking up the stair
I saw a man who wasnt there.

He wasnt there again today
Oh how I wish he`d go away.

what were the other two my grandma used to sing...?
oh yeah

"Owd *insert name here* in't no good
Chop her up
For fire wood
When she's dead
Stand 'er on 'er 'ead
Then we'll 'ave some
Ginger bread!"

and the other one was:-
"Owd *plain-y's* a funny 'un
With a face like a spanish onion
And a nose like a Squashed tomato
We'll have some for tea!"

Now you just made that one up, didn't you :hihi:

No, seriously! My grandparents and parents used to sing that rhyme to us as kids! I swear!

I've just remembered one a friend told me

Who-ee goo-ee was a worm (sorry Jabbers)
A silly worm was he
He went upon a railway track
A train he did not see
Who-wee goo-wee !

Sorry about the spelling but I've never seen it written (I wonder why :roll:)

what were the other two my grandma used to sing...?
oh yeah

"Owd *insert name here* in't no good
Chop her up
For fire wood
When she's dead
Stand 'er on 'er 'ead
Then we'll 'ave some
Ginger bread!"

and the other one was:-
"Owd *plain-y's* a funny 'un
With a face like a spanish onion
And a nose like a Squashed tomato
We'll have some for tea!"

I know the second one and used to sing it to my kids :D

"Insert name" once told me
shes got spots on her arse like a rasperry

Keep it clean Jabbers or I'll print that rhyme about a worm again :nono: :hihi:

These are the ones my parents told me.

No wonder Im so twisted :D

Remember the one Hospital phlegm all nice and thick........:gag:

Ee by gum chum, my bum's numb

Ham, lamb spam jam
corned beef, roast beef... I cant remember the rest.

"Insert name" once told me
shes got spots on her arse like a rasperry

I was told, Old (insert name) once told me, Shes got spots on her belly like cherries on a tree.

I was told, Old (insert name) once told me, Shes got spots on her belly like cherries on a tree.

These are new to me, keep em coming :hihi:

I was told, Old (insert name) once told me, Shes got spots on her belly like cherries on a tree.

Yeah thats it!

Trust me to get it wrong!

Hi PT - my dad always used to sing,:-
She has a nose like a squashed tomato
& legs like two props.

His lullaby to me was always:-
Go to sleep my baby, close your pretty eyes.
Angels are above you, watching o'er you softly from the skies.
Great big moon is shining, & stars begin to peep.
It's time for little ......... ......... to go to sleep.

(Hardly ever worked though!)

Stirry stirry custard
snot and bogey pie

Three cats giblets
and one dogs eye

Stir it up with a worm on a stick
Then rinse it down with a cup of cold sick.


Any parent telling their kids that would be thrown into the nick these days :D

Another one for you:-
You know mi Auntie Nellie?
She had a wooden belly,
And every time ya squeezed it,
Out popped jelly.

Another one for you:-
You know mi Auntie Nellie?
She had a wooden belly,
And every time ya squeezed it,
Out popped jelly.

Wow I'd forgot that one! thanks :D

There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
right in the middle of her forehead
When she was good
she was very, very good
And when she was bad
she was horrid

There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
right in the middle of her forehead
When she was good,
she was very, very good
And when she was bad
SHE WAS VERY POPULAR!

I remember the original but Jabbers is better.

Here's a few me mother used to disturb me with as a child:-
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear,
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,
Fuzzy Wuzzy wuzn't fuzzy wuz he?

Yum-yum pigs bum,
Cows eat chewing gum.

Mrs Brown went to town with her knickers hanging down,
Mrs Green saw the scene and wrote it in a magazine.

One from the wife:-
Little Dog, little street, little car, potted meat.

and a few schoolyard rhymes:-
Mrs Write had a fright in the middle of the night,
saw a beetle,
Eating treacle,
Halfway up a knitting needle,

or

Mrs Write had a fright in the middle of the night,
Saw a ghost,
Eating toast,
Halfway up a lamp post.

(Our school headmistress was a Miss Write)

There was this one that the girls would say:-

I'm a little fairy I don't swear............, I don't know the rest 'cos they'd always whisper it.

I always liked :-

My friend Billy had a 10ft w.... , but maybe that's for another forum.

How about Princess Anne said to The Queen,
"Have you ever heard of Shiregreen?",
The Queen said "no I don't think so,
But I've heard of the Burngreave Aggro."

And finally another of my mothers mint/bottom obsessive rhymes,
Trebor Mints are a minty bit stronger,
Stick 'em up your bum and they last a lot longer.

what were the other two my grandma used to sing...?
oh yeah

"Owd *insert name here* in't no good
Chop her up
For fire wood
When she's dead
Stand 'er on 'er 'ead
Then we'll 'ave some
Ginger bread!"
"
If you knew what this rhyme was actually about PT I don't think you would've posted it, 'cos it's really disgusting, but not at all obvious. I wonder if your grandma knew.

Old king cole was a merry old soul
and a merry old soul was he

He went for a shyyte in the middle of the night
on the W. C.

The moon was shining brightly,
the candle had a fit,

Old king cole fell down the hole, up to his neck in.....!


My dad used to tell me that one...

I like Jabbers version too :hihi:
And Steptoad thanks for all those
Remember I know your mother and she's a lovely person
so we'll excuse her rhymes won't we :bigsmile:

Old king cole was a merry old soul
and a merry old soul was he

He went for a shyyte in the middle of the night
on the W. C.

The moon was shining brightly,
the candle had a fit,

Old king cole fell down the hole, up to his neck in.....!


My dad used to tell me that one...

Jabbers I can see where your sense of humour came from now

Anyone remember the one to the tune of Inky Pinky Parlez-vous? I can only remember bits of it:-
There was an old man from timbuktoo, P-v, (Repeat)
There was an old man from Timbuktoo dropped a fart & away it blew
Inky Pinky P-v.
The fart went rollin down the street P-v, (Repeat)
The fart went rollin down the street & knocked a copper off his feet
Inky Pinky P-v.
The copper got out his rusty pistol P-v, (Repeat)
The copper got out his rusty pistol; shot the fart right into Bristol,
Inky Pinky P-v.
The people of Bristol were havin a dance P-v, (Repeat)
The people of Bristol were havin a dance & shot the fart right into France,
Inky Pinky P-v.
And that's as much as I can remember. Pls put me out of my misery somebody!!!
"Man" here sez they used to sing it at the match years ago.

Gram told me another one:-

Mi father's a lavatory cleaner, he works in the middins at night,
And when he comes home in the mornin, he's covered all over in *****

If there were small children present, the last words were always Sweet vi-o-lets!

:hihi: thanks Suzy Q

Wotchya doin in Canada Joto, when there are so many beautiful rhymes back here???

(Sang to the tune of campdown races)


When I was young I had no sense
doo dah doo dah

Caught my bo...ocks on a barbed wire fence
oh doo dah day.

Wotchya doin in Canada Joto, when there are so many beautiful rhymes back here???

I've lived here more than 34yrs now, and I was only 31 when I emigrated with my husband and 3 kids. So I've spent more than half my life here :bigsmile:
I love coming on this section and reading about days gone by in Sheffield.

(Sang to the tune of campdown races)


When I was young I had no sense
doo dah doo dah

Caught my bo...ocks on a barbed wire fence
oh doo dah day.

That's why you're so different :hihi: just kidding :D

We keep chickens in our back yard
we feed them on indian corn

Ones a f...

Just remembered the rest of the lyrics... Id be banned for a year if I finished that! :D

Now you're teasing me, maybe you can pm me the rest

Now you're teasing me, maybe you can pm me the rest

No way!

Theres swear words in it and call me old fashioned but I dont swear to ladies. Even ladies of the female persuasion :D

My dad used to sing,

There once was a woman at ninety two,
Who had a fart and away it flew,
over the hedge and down the lane,
in through the farmers window pane.

The farmer got his rusty gun,
shot the fart and away it run,
over the hill and up the lane,
back up the womans a**e again.

And Steptoad thanks for all those
Remember I know your mother and she's a lovely person
so we'll excuse her rhymes won't we :bigsmile:

If I thought that was true I'd be worried:confused:

Taa raa raa bump diay
Our teacher trumped today

She blew the school away
It came back yesterday.

No way!

Theres swear words in it and call me old fashioned but I dont swear to ladies. Even ladies of the female persuasion :D

But what shall I do? It'll bug me now, I might not sleep tonight and it's all your fault :rant:

But what shall I do? It'll bug me now, I might not sleep tonight and it's all your fault :rant:

Trust me, if you heared it all you wouldnt sleep for a month!

If I thought that was true I'd be worried:confused:

It is true, she lived next door to us before she married your Dad 'Arthur' :nod:

Trust me, if you heared it all you wouldnt sleep for a month!

Wanna bet I was a teenager in the 60s I've heard it all and then some :D

We keep chickens in our back yard
we feed them on indian corn

Ones a f...

Just remembered the rest of the lyrics... Id be banned for a year if I finished that! :D

That's not a part of....
I took my wife to the station to see the engines shunt....Is it?

That's not a part of....
I took my wife to the station to see the engines shunt....Is it?

Oh yes, yes it is :D

Wanna bet I was a teenager in the 60s I've heard it all and then some :D

I was a kid in the 60s and I invented most of it :D

Oh yes, yes it is :D


Thought so lol No wonder you can't write more :D:

It is true, she lived next door to us before she married your Dad 'Arthur' :nod:
:confused:Nope, You've lost me now:confused:

I found a tame version on google:

We've got chickens in our backyard
We feed them on Indian corn
But one's a bugger
For giving the other
A piggyback over the wall.

I was a kid in the 60s and I invented most of it :D

That wouldn't surprise me one bit, you're not much older than my kids. I married at 18 and had got 3 kids before I was 22 yrs old beat that :thumbsup:

That wouldn't surprise me one bit, you're not much older than my kids. I married at 18 and had got 3 kids before I was 22 yrs old beat that :thumbsup:

That's nothing, most kids have three kids by the age of 15 and wouldn't recognise a wedding ring if they choked on it.:hihi:

Sticks and stones will break my bones,
But words will never hurt me.

Piggy on the railway line picking up stones,
Along came an engine and broke Piggy's bones.
"Ow!" said Piggy, that's not fair.
"Oh" said the engine I don't care.

That's nothing, most kids have three kids by the age of 15 and wouldn't recognise a wedding ring if they choked on it.:hihi:

Sticks and stones will break my bones,
But words will never hurt me.

Piggy on the railway line picking up stones,
Along came an engine and broke Piggy's bones.
"Ow!" said Piggy, that's not fair.
"Oh" said the engine I don't care.

That's sad :cry: imagine telling some of these to small kids.



PS Sorry for the mistake, and by the way I'm still married to the same man!

One from the wife:-
Little Dog, little street, little car, potted meat.


I wonder if that's where the slang "potted dog" comes from, for potted meat? hehehe




Mrs Write had a fright in the middle of the night,
Saw a ghost,
Eating toast,
Halfway up a lamp post.

(Our school headmistress was a Miss Write)

ah! :idea::idea: that's where des'ree got those awful lyrics from! :idea:hehe


I always liked :-

My friend Billy had a 10ft w.... , but maybe that's for another forum.


it was

"trenchtown billy
had a six foot *coughs* ..
he showed it to the girl next door
she took it for a snake,
and hit it with a rake,
and now it's only five feet four!"



How about Princess Anne said to The Queen,
"Have you ever heard of Shiregreen?",
The Queen said "no I don't think so,
But I've heard of the Burngreave Aggro."


that's a famous football chant from Bramall lane from my wild and misspent childhood!

'Bertie Mee
Sez to Bill Shankly
"Have you heard of the North bank, Highbury"

he said "No, I don't think so
but I've heard of the Shoreham... AGGRO!'
Shoreham aggro, ohhh-oh'

One fine day, in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords, and shot each other...

(there is more, but I cannot remember the rest- sorry. I'm sure others will be able to fill in the gaps)



think this is the rest ......
a blind man came to see fair play
a dumb man came to shout hooray
a paralysed donkey passing by , kicked the blind man in the eye
knocked em o'er an aif inch wall
into a dry ditch & drownded em all

This is so funny, I didn't know there were so many out there.

eeny meeny, maca raca, rare rye dum a raca, chicka raca lollipop bom bom french!!!
the spelling is all over the map, but I hope you all get the gist of things!

eeny meeny, maca raca, rare rye dum a raca, chicka raca lollipop bom bom french!!!
the spelling is all over the map, but I hope you all get the gist of things!

Welcome to the forum Janet Alexa :wave: I've not heard that one either, do you skip to it or something?

Do you remember when the penny dropped and we used to say "Oh I see said the blind man to his deaf and dumb daughter" Not very PC is it?

I remember one of the skipping rhymes

I know a little boy he's double jointed
gave me a kiss and made me disappointed
My word Mary I'll tell your Mother
Kissing little Johnnie down by the Rother
Your in I'm out................

And one rhyme I remember:
Once I saw a fairy in a cup of tea
She was nearly drowning as wet as wet could
be
I took her out and dried her and asked her if she'd stay
She said 'Oh no no thank you and quickly flew away'

I love that rhyme Nan, I think your memories better than mine. I can't remember many at all
I bet you remember this
Oh dear my dolly she's sick, sick , sick
Go and fetch the doctor quick, quick, quick
The doctor came with a ratatat
He came with his cane he came with his hat

He looked at poor dolly and shook his head
And said you must put her to bed, bed, bed
Keep her very warm and keep her very still
And when I come again I'll bring her a pill, pill, pill

Don't know that one a good one- I've got a memory for songs & rhymes but forget names and faces! TTFN

My Grandad used to say
Would the power of gifty ge us, to see ourselves as others see us.I didnt understand that as a child but it makes sense now.

My Grandad used to say
Would the power of gifty ge us, to see ourselves as others see us.I didnt understand that as a child but it makes sense now.

That's a quote from the great poet "Robbie Burns".

"Oh, would some Power, the giftie gie us, tae see oursel' as others see us!"

Welcome to the forum Janet Alexa :wave: I've not heard that one either, do you skip to it or something?

Do you remember when the penny dropped and we used to say "Oh I see said the blind man to his deaf and dumb daughter" Not very PC is it?

In our family, we said it as "I see... Said the blind man to his deaf and dumb wife...!"

eeny meeny, maca raca, rare rye dum a raca, chicka raca lollipop bom bom french!!!
the spelling is all over the map, but I hope you all get the gist of things!

Isn't that one of the "dipping" rhymes, from the schoolyard, where you decide who's "it" for the game of chase/ farmer wants a wife, etc?

"Ip-dip-dip,
My blue Ship,
Sailing on the water,
Sike a cup and saucer
Ip-dip-dip,
You are not IT!"

and "One potato, two potato,
Three potato four,
Five potato, six potato
Seven potato, more"


there were two games we'd play in the schoolyard, which were very similar, one was
"poor mary what'cha weeping for"

which went
"Poor mary, what'cha weeping for,
What'cha weeping for, what'cha weeping for,
Poor mary, what'cha weeping for,
On a bright summer's day?"

and "farmer wants a wife"/ "farmer's in the dell".

1) farmers in the dell
farmer's in the dell,
ee-eye-anny oh
farmer's in the dell

2) farmer wants a wife...

3) wife wants a child...

4) child wants a nurse...

5) nurse wants a dog...

6) dog wants a bone...

7)"we all pat the bone..."

What about this one.........

Down in Dixon Lane
There are two big fat women
And if you want to see them
You'll have to pay a shilling
Soldiers half a crown
Sailors half a guinea
Big fat men
Two pounds ten
Little kids a penny

God where did that come from??????????

A fart is a funny thing
it whistles in the breeze.
It warms the bed on winter nights
and suffocates the fleas.

It gets worse lol

I lost me arm in the army
i lost me leg in the navy

I lost me c**k in a butchers shop
and found it in me gravy

Its amazing what i learned in the infants in the 1960s

That's so funny 'You' I didn't realize how many rhymes are actually out there, and I suspect there's more to come :D

Most of the above and another my dad used to say to us..
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck,
if a woodchuck could chuck wood.:thumbsup:

Thanks Joan, I bet you can't say that fast :hihi:

The sausage was a fat one, whose outside was not in. It's inside was a mystery, that killed poor little Jim.

It was Christmas Day in the workhouse, the snow was raining fast. A barefooted man with clogs on, stood sitting on the grass.

30 days hath September, April, June, and November. All the rest have 31, except Grandma, and she rides a bike.

I remember my Mother reciting this one to me -

My Mother said I never should play with the gypsies in the wood.

If I did she would say naughty little girl to run away.

Altough this isn`t a rhyme, my dad always used to say to me, bearing in mind my name`s Peter.

Peter night before you go to bed :hihi:

I wonder if that's where the slang "potted dog" comes from, for potted meat? hehehe

Could be, though, as kids we always thought it was made from hippopotamus:hihi:



"trenchtown billy
had a six foot *coughs* ..
he showed it to the girl next door
she took it for a snake,
and hit it with a rake,
and now it's only five feet four!"

No, no, this really happened to my mate William:D




that's a famous football chant from Bramall lane from my wild and misspent childhood!

'Bertie Mee
Sez to Bill Shankly
"Have you heard of the North bank, Highbury"

he said "No, I don't think so
but I've heard of the Shoreham... AGGRO!'
Shoreham aggro, ohhh-oh'

I'll have to take your word for that, as I've never been to a football match.

7)"we all pat the bone..."

It's been changed to we all clap the bone now, cos a child might get hurt when others pat him/her.:rolleyes:

Ah Ah eee pony, Chita pony, Alabalaweska tin pan dory, Chita pan Chita pan
Chinese chu chu.

The only thing I can say about this is my mother taught it me and it must have Heeley origins.

if ifs and ands were pots and pans there would be no need for tinkers
if ifs and buts were apples and nuts all the children would fill their guts.

Can anyone remember something about a China man had a China doll? Don't know if it's a song or a rhyme, been bugging me for ages. :)

What about ?
Dan,Dan the dirty old man
Washed his face in a frying pan
Combed his hair with a three legged chair
Dan,Dan the dirty old man.

How about.

Chin Chin Chinaman, kept a little shop.
All he sold, was peppermint rock.
He tiddled in a bottle and called it pop
Chin Chin Chinaman kept a little shop.

:o

Can anyone remember something about a China man had a China doll? Don't know if it's a song or a rhyme, been bugging me for ages. :)

Chin, Chin, Chinaman,
Bought a penny doll.
Washed it, dressed it,
Found it wasn't well.
Took it to the Doctor,
But the Doctor wasn't in,
'Cos he had a pimple on his chin, chin, chin.

Not very PC, but we laughed ourselves silly in the '50s!

PS Sorry for the mistake, and by the way I'm still married to the same man!

That's OK, I was just a little freaked out as I thought I was in disguise on this board.:hihi:

Our maths teacher taught us a useful one in case our brains froze over in an exam :-

Diddle e dum,
Diddle e dee,
A ring round the moon is Pi D,
But if the area is preferred,
Use the formula Pi R squared.

My mum used to sing,
"oh dear, what can the matter be
(insert name) has fell down the lavatory
she,s/he,s been there from monday to saturday
nobody knows she/he was there
I actually sang that to my daughter this morning, and because i had said her name in it she asked if it was a real song about a Katy :hihi:

One my Dad told us -

One cold evening in the middle of Summer
A fire broke out in an empty house full of furniture.
The old man, not knowing, ran downstairs, without his wooden leg
fell over the dead cat and nearly killed it !

Anyone remember this ,
Build a bonfire,build a bonfire,
Put the teachers on the top,
Put the prefects in the middle.
And burn the Bl**dy lot.

Anyone remember this ,
Build a bonfire,build a bonfire,
Put the teachers on the top,
Put the prefects in the middle.
And burn the Bl**dy lot.

there was another song like that, normally sung at the end of term, which finished with the lines:-

"No more English, No more French
No more sitting on the old school bench!"

there was another song like that, normally sung at the end of term, which finished with the lines:-

"No more English, No more French
No more sitting on the old school bench!"

Did it go on with:
No more toil, no more sorrow,
no more school - we break up tomorrow.... ?

I can hear my mother saying to my kids

Pata cake pata cake
Bakers man.
Make me a cake as fast as you can.
Prick it and stick it and mark it with X and throw it in't oven, for X and me.

Chin, Chin, Chinaman,
Bought a penny doll.
Washed it, dressed it,
Found it wasn't well.
Took it to the Doctor,
But the Doctor wasn't in,
'Cos he had a pimple on his chin, chin, chin.

Not very PC, but we laughed ourselves silly in the '50s!


Yes that's the one. Thanks thursday. :)

Did it go on with:
No more toil, no more sorrow,
no more school - we break up tomorrow.... ?

the one I remember ended up with something like

"No more homework, no more books
No more teachers' dirty looks"

(I seem to remember a bit before the lines I quoted earlier but for the life of me I can't remember)

It's been a horrible horrible day, (best mate's dad's funeral :gag:) I am emotionally and physically tired and I have complete and utter brain-fog, so I cannot think "straight" to save my life!

Sounds very much like Pink floyds Another brick in the wall. Perhaps the lyrics may have been taken from a rhyme ?

the one I remember ended up with something like

"No more homework, no more books
No more teachers' dirty looks"

(I seem to remember a bit before the lines I quoted earlier but for the life of me I can't remember)

It's been a horrible horrible day, (best mate's dad's funeral :gag:) I am emotionally and physically tired and I have complete and utter brain-fog, so I cannot think "straight" to save my life!

Sorry to hear that. Hope you recover soon.

No more school
no more stick
no more flippin arithmatic.

Something like that anyway chanted on the day we broke up for the holidays or half term (Friday and Monday then)

On seeing an ambulance.

Touch my knees,
Touch my nose,
Hope I never go,
In one of those.

Touching the knees and nose.

:loopy:One that my friend Jeremy taught me in primary school was, to the tune of Little Brown Jug, is
Ha ha ha,
He he he,
Stevens on the lavatory,
Singing songs, dropping bombs,
Nobody knows he's there.

And a final line that my friend claimed to have added himself

'Cos he's eaten a pear.:loopy:

Round here there's an ice cream van that plays Little Brown Jug and even now, everytime (and I mean everytime), I hear it those words pop into my head.

Sorry about the courseness,

Hark, hark the thunder's roaring,
must be the peas I had this morning,
quick, quick the closet door,
too late, too late, it's on the floor.

On a nicer note,

I eat my peas with honey,
I've done it all my life,
it makes the peas taste funny,
but it sticks them to the knife

Sounds very much like Pink floyds Another brick in the wall. Perhaps the lyrics may have been taken from a rhyme ?

I seem to remember Alice Cooper using it in the background of his hit from about 30 yrs ago, "School's Out For Summer".

the one I remember ended up with something like

"No more homework, no more books
No more teachers' dirty looks"

(I seem to remember a bit before the lines I quoted earlier but for the life of me I can't remember)

It's been a horrible horrible day, (best mate's dad's funeral :gag:) I am emotionally and physically tired and I have complete and utter brain-fog, so I cannot think "straight" to save my life!

Sorry to hear that. Hope you recover soon.

No more school
no more stick
no more flippin arithmatic.

Something like that anyway chanted on the day we broke up for the holidays or half term (Friday and Monday then)

Thanks Joan. I've been and had a rest, as I was feeling rotten. Feeling a bit better now, after a yucky day.

I seem to remember Alice Cooper using it in the background of his hit from about 30 yrs ago, "School's Out For Summer".

That's right it was Alice Cooper, and thanks for coming on here even though you wasn't feeling good. thanks everybody for your contributions.:thumbsup:

You know that wedding song 'Here Comes the Bride'
Well when I was a girl, to that tune my friend would sing.......

Here comes the bride
All fat and wide
You can't see the bridegroom
For the size of the bride (of course I didn't join in :hihi:)

insy winsy spider climing up a spout . down came the rain and washed the spider out .out came the sun and washed away the rain.insy winsy spider came out again to play.

I seem to remember Alice Cooper using it in the background of his hit from about 30 yrs ago, "School's Out For Summer".

Thats the one PT your absolutely right.

Wherever you may be ...
Let your wind break free...
In church or chapel ....
Let it rattle he he !

I remember that one pretty women :hihi:

Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John,
Went to bed with his stockings on,
One shoe off and one shoe on,
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John.

My 82 year old grandma, God bless her, used to sing that to her kids, grandkids, and now, to her great grandkids.:)

There used to be one we said at Chapeltown Lound School directed at Warren School (wherever that was)

Oh dearie me,
Old Warren caught a flea,
He salted it and peppered it
And had it for his tea.

Here's another from my mothers book of verse,

Mathew, Mark, Luke And John went to bed with their trousers on,
In the middle of the night Mathew Mathew wanted to ****e, (rhymes with kite):o
It must be done, it must be done, so out of the window he popped his bum.:P
A policeman who was passing by happened to look into the sky,:rolleyes:
Come down come down they heard him cry.:rant:
Plop, Plop one in each eye.:gag:

Actually knowing my mother like I do I find it hard to believe she told me that as a child.:huh:

Thanks everybody :P I'm amazed and Steptoad you're a gentleman, and what a good memory:thumbsup: How about this one

Sugar and spice
And all things nice
That's what little girls are made of
Slugs and snails
And puppy dogs tails
That's what little boys are made of :hihi:

That's how I remember it anyhow, can you tell I had 3 sisters and no brothers?

A trump is but a sigh of wind coming from the Heart
But if it takes the downward course then it's called a fart
It gives the person pleasure
And gives the bowels ease
It warms and heats the bedclothes
And suffocates the fleas.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
sung to te tune of on top pf olg smoky...


On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed
It rolled off the table and onto the floor
And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door
It rolled down the garden and under a bush
And then my old meatball got covered in slush

anybody add the rest?

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Just remembered another, how did we grow up normal?

Scatter matter custard snot and bogey pie
Dead dogs gibblets one cats eye
When you've made it nice and thick
Wash it all down with a cup of cold sick

we must have been horrible kids....

A trump is but a sigh of wind coming from the Heart
But if it takes the downward course then it's called a fart
It gives the person pleasure
And gives the bowels ease
It warms and heats the bedclothes
And suffocates the fleas.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
sung to te tune of on top pf olg smoky...


On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed
It rolled off the table and onto the floor
And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door
It rolled down the garden and under a bush
And then my old meatball got covered in slush

anybody add the rest?

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

... and Steptoad you're a gentleman..
thankyou nobody's called me a gentleman for a looooooooooong time:D

(I'm saving all the really rude stuff for another forum)

Here's one my daughters use at the moment after burping,

Pardon me for being so rude,
It was not me it was my food,
It just popped up to say hello,
Instead it stayed down below.

and my from my wife,

Arty Farty had a party,
All the farts were there,
Tutti Fruity did a beauty ,
And they all went out for air.

There was a little girl and she had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead
When she was good, she was very very good
But when she was bad she was horrid

I think it was that but I don't know if it was a way of telling me I was being naughty.:)

My Nan used to always sing us old songs and rhymes that I think came from her Dad.
One went something like....

Brown's a very good friend of mine,
Once I went to his house to dine


Has anyone else heard this??

Liar, liar your bums on fire - your nose is as long as a telephone wire....... :hihi:

If wishes were horses beggars would ride. Also from infant school in the 1950,s Paddy O,Flynn had no breeches to wear so he bought him a sheepskin and made him a pair with the skinny side out and the woolley side in begad this is fine said Paddy OFlynn. This was taught by the teacher,today the racepolice would lock her up

Anything like a futile exercise my mon would say "its like pissin in bed weken" my blokes mom used to say of someone who was a soft touch " you would give your arse away and **** thorugh your ribs". any more?

One from the wife:-
Little Dog, little street, little car, potted meat.


i always rememebr that one...but what i remember is:-

little doggy crossing street
heavy lorry
potted meat

you know what thought did...........followed the coal wagon cos you thought it was a wedding

To the tune of Bobby Shafto" well nearly.

I know a man called Michael Finnigan
He had whiskers on his chin-igan
The Wind came up and blew them in-igan
Poor old Michael Finnigan

and a little more risky-

Starts with the tune of "Rule Brittania" and then "Knees up mother brown".

Note: if I made this verse PC there would be nothing left to post. So here it is in all it's none PC glory.

Rule Brittania, three monkeys up a stick
one fell down and landed on his -
Prickles grow on brushes, prickles grow on trees
pricles grow on womens legs just above the -
Knees up mother Brown, Knees up Mother Brown
You better pull your knickers up before we pull them -
Down in Africa, where blackmen dig for coal
one fell down the mineshaft and landed on his -
B******s (rhymes with Rowlocks) is the bulldog, lying in the grass
a bumble came from the sky and stung him on his -
Ask no questions, tell know lies
I saw a bus conductor fastening up his -
Flys are nuisances, bugs are even worse
and this is the end of my dirty little verse.


The sad thing is I can never remember the words to the Lords Prayer which we recited every morning for the whole of my school life, but I can remember this rhyme.

My appologies if anyone is offended.

Starts with the tune of "Rule Brittania" and then "Knees up mother brown".

Note: if I made this verse PC there would be nothing left to post. So here it is in all it's none PC glory.

Rule Brittania, three monkeys up a stick
one fell down and landed on his -
Prickles grow on brushes, prickles grow on trees
pricles grow on womens legs just above the -
Knees up mother Brown, Knees up Mother Brown
You better pull your knickers up before we pull them -
Down in Africa, where blackmen dig for coal
one fell down the mineshaft and landed on his -
B******s (rhymes with Rowlocks) is the bulldog, lying in the grass
a bumble came from the sky and stung him on his -
Ask no questions, tell know lies
I saw a bus conductor fastening up his -
Flys are nuisances, bugs are even worse
and this is the end of my dirty little verse.


The sad thing is I can never remember the words to the Lords Prayer which we recited every morning for the whole of my school life, but I can remember this rhyme.

My appologies if anyone is offended.

there was another similar song to the tune of "Rule, Brittania", which I half-remember, which started, something along the lines of:-

"Rule, Brittania,
two tanners make a bob..."

thankyou nobody's called me a gentleman for a looooooooooong time:D

(I'm saving all the really rude stuff for another forum)

Here's one my daughters use at the moment after burping,

Pardon me for being so rude,
It was not me it was my food,
It just popped up to say hello,
Instead it stayed down below.

and my from my wife,

Arty Farty had a party,
All the farts were there,
Tutti Fruity did a beauty ,
And they all went out for air.

Thanks steptoad you could fill a book with the ones you know, I've been away this weekend so I've had lots of catching up here. Thanks everyone for your posts :D

I'm almost out of silly rhymes, but this one just popped into my head. It's another one my dear ol' mam used to say, but it's probably quite well known.

Whether the weather be hot,
Or whether the weather be cold,
We'll weather the weather,
Whatever the weather,
Whether the weather or not.

Mother Mariah
p****d on the fire,
the fire was too hot,
she p****D in the pot,
the pot was too round,
she p****d on the ground,
the ground was too flat,
she p****d on the cat,
and the cat ran away with the p**s on its back.



Here's another one.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
a fire broke out in the Atlantic,
a blind man saw it,
a deaf man heard it,
a man with no legs ran to fetch the fire brigade,
they ran over a dead cat and very nearly killed it,
a man was taken to hospital with burnt eyelashes
and syringed bootlaces.

I might have got mixed up with these, if anyone has the right version please post it. :)

I've just remembered the first couple of lines to a "poem" that that one of the bigger boys taught me in church.
He wouldn't tell me any more, because it was too rude, but if anybody knows the rest I'd be interested to know it.

Me mother sat by the fireside,
With her feet up on the hob,
A bottle of whiskey in her lap,
And a Woodbine in her gob,

This first one was sort of chanted rather quickly.

There was an owd woman lived in a back yard, she used to turn a mangle, the scanty living that she could get was ironing shirts an' collars an' cuffs, she'd nothing to cover her bum,
And the rollers they go in and the rollers they go out, the mangle turns from east to west and scatters the washing about.

This next one was sung but, I've no idea of the tune.
My heart is as light as a feather, I hope it will never grow sad,
For I'm getting married tomorrow but, not to a bad Sheffield lad,
For a bad Sheffield lad is deceitful,
He goes around smokin' his pipe,
He goes around courting the lasses,
Especially on Saturday night.
Soooo,
No more standing on the corner of the street,
Winking, blinking at every girl you meet,
No more whisky and no more rum,
And no more strolling home at half past one!

This next one I always got a clipped ear for reciting! I apologise beforehand for the expletives.
A*****e, pigsh*t, bl***y, bu***r damn,
Some poor bl*****s stole our pram,
Couldn't give a bu***r, soon buy another,
A*****e, pigsh*t, bl***y, bu***r damn.

Enjoyed reading those with my breakfast, thank you flashbang, steptoad, and duffems.:thumbsup: Wish I could help you with the lines you've forgot, but I'm sure somebody will.

my o/h tells the grandkids
the elephant is a gracefull bird
it swings from bough to bough
builds its nest
in a rhubarb tree
and whistles like a cow

i am not a pheasant plucker
im a pheasant pluckers son
and im only plucking pheasants
until the pheasant plucker comes

Ooh longchat I'd better not say that fast, a real tongue twister :heyhey:

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
Ten thousand volts went up its bum
and turned it into nylon

my o/h tells the grandkids
the elephant is a gracefull bird
it swings from bough to bough
builds its nest
in a rhubarb tree
and whistles like a cow

what about

"A funny old bird is the pelican

Its beak can hold nore than its Belly can!"

I'm almost out of silly rhymes, but this one just popped into my head. It's another one my dear ol' mam used to say, but it's probably quite well known.

Whether the weather be hot,
Or whether the weather be cold,
We'll weather the weather,
Whatever the weather,
Whether the weather or not.

just found this version

Whether the weather be fine, or whether the weather be not
Whether the weather be cold, or whether the weather be hot
We'll weather the weather, whatever the weather
Whether we like it or not.

That last line makes better sense than the one on my post.

when I was about 5yrs old I got up on a stage and sung this

I had a little nut-tree, nothing would it bear
But a silver nutmeg and a golden pear;
The King of Spain's daughter came to visit me,
And all was because of my little nut-tree.
I skipped over water, I danced over sea,
And all the little birds in the air couldn't catch me.

Did grandma ever tell me off, she didn't know where I was till I was on stage, I won a packet of friut gums though :D

brilliant /just luv it /xxxxxx

Round legs to Wadsley went to see why his legs were bent,
Round legs to Wadsley went, fol de rol day.
Round legs fell o'er a wall an' lerr all 'is currant cakes fall,
Round legs to Wadsley went, fol de rol day.
Round legs knocked ont' dooer and said is there any deead fooalks live here,
Round legs to Wadsley went, fol de rol day.

My grandfather taught me this rhyme which apparently was about a "bandy legged" body collector/funeral person who lived in the Wadsley area. His currant cakes were the usual funeral food.

Another one was:
Wheeas, that bin lad,
Selling Specials,
Who fo,
Mi uncle Dick,
What's 'e gen thi,
Only a'penny,
Skinny owd pig, 'e owt to dee!

The "Specials" were a local Sheffield newspaper,so there you have a piece of local history too!

Thanks jennyren :blush: and thank you duffems for something a little different :P

Do you remember:
"The big ship sailed through the alley alley oh" (no idea how to spell it!). We sang this in the school playground whilst going round in a circle then threading under someone's arm.

"Ally ally aster, rain rain faster" was another rhyme.

Yes I do remember those, but I'm afraid like you I don't remember the rest, anybody else know the rest ?

Dip dip dip, my blue ship,
Sailing on the water,
Like a cup and saucer,
Dip dip dip!

Ickle ockle chocolate bottle,
Ickle ockle out,
If you want a chocolate bottle,
Please call out.

These were common "picking" rhymes i.e. when you were picking teams for rounders etc. which, on our road meant about 12 in each team as everyone had to be included, whatever age they were.

There were a whole lot of clapping rhymes that the girls used to chant as they executed intricate series' of claps.
They often seemed to be about sailors going to sea, sea, sea, or mothers send their daughters out to the shop.

I remember this that someone wrote in my autograph book when leaving school

If all the boys lived across the sea
What a good swimmer Joyce would be :hihi:

Do you remember:
"The big ship sailed through the alley alley oh" (no idea how to spell it!). We sang this in the school playground whilst going round in a circle then threading under someone's arm.

"Ally ally aster, rain rain faster" was another rhyme.

what i can remember of the song "the big ship sailed.." is this:-

"The big ship sailed on the alley-alley oh
The alley alley oh
The alley alley oh
The big ship sailed on the alley alley oh
On the last day of September.

The captain said it'll never ever do
Never ever do
Never ever do
The captain said it'll never ever do
On the last day of september!"

I remember there would be a "dance" to it, where everyone would join hands, and weave between each other, till everyone had positioned themseleves with their arms folded, (like when you sing old lang syne) and you'd shake your arms together.

I think there were more verses, along the lines of

"The big ship sank to the bottom of the sea, the bottom of the sea, the bottom of the sea,
The big ship sank to the bottom of the sea, on the last day of September.

We all dip our heads in the deep blue sea, the deep blue sea, the deep blue sea,
We all dip our heads in the deep blue sea, on the last day of September"

Yes, that was it, stupid wasn't it! Where did these rhymes come from I wonder.

don.t know duffems. but as daft as they sound we loved em ... memories in the corner of my mind misty waters full of memories the way we where .. luv ya all xxxxx

I hope this is not out of order ? -but a wartime song I remember goes-

There was a man called Hitler he had a black moustache
He didn't want the Jews but he wanted all their cash
He marched the Jews to Poland to clear the Polish land
The Poles all came to Britaiin and Britain went to France
Now listen Hitler and take a tip from me
Never try to come across the British sea
Cos if you do you'll never never rest
Cos you are the worlds biggest pest pest pest!

Funnily enough we used to sing this while skipping:P

And does anyone remember-
There lived a sage in days of yore and he a handsome pigtail wore
He wondered much and worried more because it hung behind him
I don't remember the rest- anyone?

When people played 2 balls' I remember them singing.
PK penny a packet,
First you chew it then you crack it,
Then you stick it to your jacket,
PK penny a packet.

what i can remember of the song "the big ship sailed.." is this:-

"The big ship sailed on the alley-alley oh
The alley alley oh
The alley alley oh
The big ship sailed on the alley alley oh
On the last day of September.

The captain said it'll never ever do
Never ever do
Never ever do
The captain said it'll never ever do
On the last day of september!"

I remember there would be a "dance" to it, where everyone would join hands, and weave between each other, till everyone had positioned themseleves with their arms folded, (like when you sing old lang syne) and you'd shake your arms together.

I think there were more verses, along the lines of

"The big ship sank to the bottom of the sea, the bottom of the sea, the bottom of the sea,
The big ship sank to the bottom of the sea, on the last day of September.

We all dip our heads in the deep blue sea, the deep blue sea, the deep blue sea,
We all dip our heads in the deep blue sea, on the last day of September"

That's how I remember it going when we used to sing it at Infant school. We did the 'dance' aswell, except one person at the end of the chain would be stood holding onto the fence, and we'd weave through between that person and the fence, going under their arm.

Beans beans are good for your heart
The more you eat the more you f*rt
The more you f*rt the better you feel
So lets have beans for every meal

These are ones you would say when picking people out for group games........

Eeny meeny miney moe
put the baby on the poe
when its done wipe its bum
eeny meeny miney moe
out goes you

and............
ip dip dog s**t
you are not it

I now remember the eeny meeny miney moe one, but I don't know the others kezzzza. Do keep them coming though everybody :D

Our eeny meeny picking rhyme went:

eeny meeny miny mo,
put the baby on the po,
when it's done,
look up its' bum
to see if there's any more to come!

And, of course, the traditional picking rhyme:
one potato two potato three potato four,
five potato six potato seven potato more etc.
This was done with clenched fists and the picker would thump his fists with everyone else's and the fist that was "out" would be placed behind your back resulting in one last fist being the winner.

I haven't looked through the whole thread, so this has probably been mentioned, but we used to do See-see My Playmate (or Ce-Ce My Playmate as I've seen it spelt before - I don't know which is right). Our version went like this:

See see my playmate,
I cannot play with you,
My sister's got the flu,
Chicken pox and measles too,
Slide down the drain pipe

(Can't remember the rest)

But I was talking to someone else about it, and their version went like so:

See see my playmate,
Come out and play with me,
And bring your dollies three,
Climb up the appletree,
Slide down the rainbow

A couple more have just come to mind.

There's the girls French skipping rhyme,

Cat's got the measles, the measles, the measles, the measles,
Cat's got the measles,
The measles got the cat.

(Or as I heard my daughter say, "Cat's got the fling dong" what ever that might be).

Anther of me Ma's,

Adam and Eve and Pinch Me went down to the river to bath,
Adam and Eve both drowned,
Who do you think was saved?

The correct answer was rewarded with a nip.
I never understood the humour of that rhyme.

Thanks Jen I haven't seen it on here, and that's a new one to me.
Steptoad that one about Adam and Eve must have been in the archives of my brain, I do remember it now, knowing me I probably fell for it too!

And, similarly, "Pinch, punch, the first of the month: sorry, but no returns"....!

A sailor went to sea sea sea
To see what he could see see see
But all that he could see see see
Was the bottom of the deep blue sea sea sea
(to the accompanyment of complicated clapping)

My great-grandmother used to sing:
I had a little pony, it's mane was dapple grey
I leant it to my Lady to ride a mile away
She whipped it, she lashed it,
She rode it through the mire
I'll never lend my pony again for all my Lady's ire.

And how about:
There was a crooked man
He walked a crooked mile
He found a crooked sixpence
Upon a crooked stile.
He had a crooked cat
That caught a crooked mouse
And they all lived together
In a little crooked house

Thanks igharston and I've not heard the one your great-grandma told you. :D

I haven't looked through the whole thread, so this has probably been mentioned, but we used to do See-see My Playmate (or Ce-Ce My Playmate as I've seen it spelt before - I don't know which is right). Our version went like this:

See see my playmate,
Come out and play with me,
And bring your dollies three,
Climb up the appletree,
Slide down the rainbow


And we'll be jolly friends for evermore.

(I'm sure that's the last line of the rhyme) :)

i knew a lad they called him jim
someone had been throwing tomatoes at him
i said tomatoes dont hurt with a grin
he said yes they do when the come in a tin

:hihi: That's a funny one longchat.

i knew a lad they called him jim
someone had been throwing tomatoes at him
i said tomatoes dont hurt with a grin
he said yes they do when the come in a tin

I know it as

"An actor, an actor,
Was my uncle jim
Till somebody threw a tomato at him....

Now tomatoes are soft,
And they don't break the skin
But this one was different,
It was still in the tin!

Singing toooralie oooralie ooorrralie -ayyy"

I like that version too PT :hihi:

I haven't looked through the whole thread, so this has probably been mentioned, but we used to do See-see My Playmate (or Ce-Ce My Playmate as I've seen it spelt before - I don't know which is right). Our version went like this:

See see my playmate,
I cannot play with you,
My sister's got the flu,
Chicken pox and measles too,
Slide down the drain pipe

(Can't remember the rest)

But I was talking to someone else about it, and their version went like so:

See see my playmate,
Come out and play with me,
And bring your dollies three,
Climb up the appletree,
Slide down the rainbow

ive heard this version

see see my playmate
i cannot play today
my sisters got the flu
chicken pox and the measles too
slide down the drainpipe
to the cellar room
we'll be best friends forever
1...2...3... woohoo

How do you guys remember all these rhymes? I'm impressed :thumbsup:

humpty dumpty sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses
and all the kings men
had scrambled egg for breakfast

Longchat I thought you was getting serious there for a minute :hihi:

A wise old owl nursery rhyme / poem

A wise old owl lived in an oak
The more he saw the less he spoke
The less he spoke the more he heard.
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?

if i was a catapillar
i would have a farce
cimbing up the cabbage leaves
and sliding down
on my hands and knees :D

i am not a pheasant plucker
im a pheasant pluckers son
and im only plucking pheasants
until the pheasant plucker comes

im not a pheasant plucker
im a pheasant pluckers wife
and when we pluck together
its a pheasant plucking life :D

We used to say that one:D

Oh Jemima look at your uncle Jim
He's in the bathtub learning how to swim
First he does the backstroke then he does a dive
Now he's under the water
Swimming against the tied.

And the tomato Jim I remember is:
You've heard of Aunt Sally and you mind Uncle Jim
Well his wife threw some tomatoes at him
Tomatoes don't hurt he said with a grin
But the buggers did cos the came in the tin.

Thanks nan for those :bigsmile: I think I must have been deprived when I was a kid, I never realized there was so many funny rhymes out there.

I went to the pictures[cinema] tomorrow
I got a front seat at the back
A lady gave me a chocolate
I ate it and gave it her back

one summers day in winter
the rain was snowing fast
a bare footed girl with clogs on
stood up while sat on the grass
:D

Thanks lindilu and longchat , I like those, do you remember one like those about meeting someone on the stairs?

humpty dumpty sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses
and all the kings men
had scrambled egg for breakfast

Did you know the original version of Humpty Dumpty was actually a question rhyme. The last line was something like "Who was Humpty Dumpty?"

Did you know the original version of Humpty Dumpty was actually a question rhyme. The last line was something like "Who was Humpty Dumpty?"

Humpty Dumpty was actually a cannon, IIRC, at the time of the English Civil War, which broke when being fired.

Edit to add, a version of the HD rhyme was used in the nursery my lad went to teach the kiddies road safety.

HD Sat on a wall
Watching the children
Play with a ball.
Don't run into the road, said he,
Or You'll have an accident,
Just like me!

never put humpty together again .. O K

Has anyone ever heard this
Chinese chinky went to milk a cow
chinese chinky didnt know how
chinese chinky pulled the wrong t*t
chinese chinky covered in sh*t.
Not very PC i know but i thought it was funny when i was a kid.

Our own strange version of the A A Milne rhyme about taking care not to walk on the lines of the pavement was:

If you step on a crack
you'll marry a rat
who'll pinch you and bite you and scratch you.

I know it as

"An actor, an actor,
Was my uncle jim
Till somebody threw a tomato at him....

Now tomatoes are soft,
And they don't break the skin
But this one was different,
It was still in the tin!

Singing toooralie oooralie ooorrralie -ayyy"

My dad used to sing this version:

Ryan O Flynn had his arm in a sling
tomatoes don't hurt me he said with a grin
But this one did it was still in the tin
And that was the end of poor Ryan O Flynn

(Probably learnt from Attercliffe Palace (Adelphi?)

Theres one that's bugging me cos I can't remember it all.....:suspect:

One fine day in the middle of the night,
two dead men got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

I keep going over and over it in my head but.....:huh:

Theres one that's bugging me cos I can't remember it all.....:suspect:

One fine day in the middle of the night,
two dead men got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

I keep going over and over it in my head but.....:huh:

have a look further back up the thread, Joan, I posted that much, which was all I could remember from my grandpa teaching it me as a child, and, luckily someone with a better memory for rhyme than I have, filled in the blank a few posts later.

^^^^

PT

joanL....


I found it!!

Wizard Of Odd filled in the blanks, back in post 64.

these are the rest of the rhyme, as W-O-O remembers them, and they do sound about right:-

a blind man came to see fair play
a dumb man came to shout hooray
a paralysed donkey passing by
kicked the blind man in the eye
knocked em o'er an aif inch wall
into a dry ditch & drownded em all

PT

Which reminded me of:
You know last night, well night before
Three little tomcats came knocking at out door
One had a fiddle one had a drum
and one had a pancake stuck to his bum:o

Oops see it has been done before- sorry PT. Nan

:roll:PT went back to 64....perhaps that's why it was going round in my head cos I'd already read it.:roll: I don't recognise any of the other bits of it though. :hihi:

I remember a quaint expression, it went something like '' Honesty is the best policy ''. Soon had that knocked out of me. :gag:

I see I've missed a few while I've been missing, thanks PT, Joan and Nan, raine and Peter.
What happened Treatment? did you own up when you were a naughty boy :heyhey:

What happened Treatment? did you own up when you were a naughty boy :heyhey:
Yes, like a mug I used to own up. Not so now, although it has taken me more years than I care to remember I have now changed.

I now enforce the old maxim (as I have probably posted on this Forum before);

'' Never trust anyone, not even your own father ''.
(perhaps a little brutal, but it works for me).

I would put a Smilie on, but until I get my new effing computer working I can't.

All the best.

Yes, like a mug I used to own up. Not so now, although it has taken me more years than I care to remember I have now changed.

I now enforce the old maxim (as I have probably posted on this Forum before);

'' Never trust anyone, not even your own father ''.
(perhaps a little brutal, but it works for me).

I would put a Smilie on, but until I get my new effing computer working I can't.

All the best.

Who has drawn a Willy on my picture ?

Hey Treatment I think we've gone off topic, unless that was the start of your rhyme:P

My dad used to say:-

The boy stood on the burning deck
picking his nose like mad
Rolling it into little balls
and flicking it at his dad.

and

It was on the bridge at midnight
her heart was all a quiver
she gave a cough
her leg fell off
and floated down the river.

When I was a lad
as big as my dad
I uesed to ride a pony
every time I pulled its tail
out came polony

a boy stood on the burning deck
with a box of crackers
one flew up his trouser leg
and paralysed his elbow :D

What a surprise! this thread as come back to life :P
Thank you vickyb for those, and you too Potted Dog :thumbsup:
and not forgetting longchat who almost gave me an heart attack :D

Mary had a little lamb
she also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
but I've never seen her bare.

:hihi: Thanks davep

Another one.


Mary had a little lamb
the Doctor was surprised ........

I bet :hihi:

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
And now it goes to school with her
Between 2 chunks of bread.
:o

:hihi: very good pt cru

little miss muffet
sat on a tuffet
her knickers all
tattered and torn
it wasn,t a spider
that sat down beside her
but little boy blue with his horn :D

longchat :blush: how many more of those have you got up your sleeve? :hihi:

Here is one based on the old saying "spending a penny"


Here i sit broken hearted
paid a penny and only farted.

"Not last night but the night before
Three tom-cats came knocking at my door
One had a fiddle,
One had a drum,
And one had a pancake
Stuck to his bum!"

[/QUOTE]

How weird, just been teaching this to my 3yr old!!!!!

He loves it x

Of all the saws I ever saw
I never saw a saw saw like this saw saws

longchat :blush: how many more of those have you got up your sleeve? :hihi:

He only has to ask the late, great judge dredd:- big four, big five, big six and big seven were famous in the seventies.

*yicky tacky ticky tacky whoop aye ah!*

He only has to ask the late, great judge dredd:- big four, big five, big six and big seven were famous in the seventies.

*yicky tacky ticky tacky whoop aye ah!*

Who's 'He' you are talking about, longchat? who I thought was a lady :suspect:
You will have to elaborate more because I don't follow you:confused::)

Who's 'He' you are talking about, longchat? who I thought was a lady :suspect:
You will have to elaborate more because I don't follow you:confused::)

oh, dear. I'm showing my age!

Back in the late sixties and early seventies there was a white reggae singer, called "Judge Dread" who was famous for putting out records risque song lyrics, such as "Trenchtown Billy" (A song I mentioned above)

he did a "series" of singles "Big Five" , "Big Six"and "Big Seven", etc. which did "naughty" or "risque" takes on nursery rhymes, like
:-
"Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,
Jack jump over the candle stick,
Silly boy, should have jumped higher;
'Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls Of Fire!'"

He holds the record for the most banned songs, aparently!

The emboldened bit, in my post above, was a chorus to one of the Judge Dread songs. (if you youtube it, you'll find some performances by J-D on there but make sure you spell it right, as you might end up with Sly Stallone#s Judge Dredd instead)
wiki:-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judge_Dread
can I point out, general Warning, here, if you are youtube-ing his songs, BTW, some of the content is "NSW" (Not Safe/appropriate For Work/ Minors)

Judge Dread wow, i still have many of his records in my collection. I also remember him being the first English man to have a reggae hit in Jamaica. Sadly he had a heart attack and died on stage some years ago. I was also going to point out his lyrics PT but thought no one would remember him lol.

Its only human nature after all
A boy took a girl behind a wall
He pulled down her protection
and stuck in his connection
Its only human nature after all.

Thanks PT for the explanation :P I have heard of Judge Dread but in th 60s I was taking care of 3 small children so missed out on a lot of bands including the Beatles. Maybe we should start a thread of all Judge Dread's lyric's? nah on second thoughts family forum and all that :D

old mother hubberd
went to the cupboard
to get the postman a letter
when she got there
the cupboard was bare
so they did without
it was better :D

strike a light
strike a light a minute
ower old lass has **** the bed and all the kids are in it.
my mum sang this little ditty to my children when they where around one to two years old.

nite nite
sleep tight
mind the bed bugs dont bite.:D

Thanks nomoney and longchat :D

Copper on the corner
eating a Christmas pie,
I asked him for a little bit
and he punched me in the eye,
I went to tell me mother
but me mother wasn't in,
so I got the biggest rolling pin
and hit him on the chin.

Does anyone know if theres anymore to this one?
My memory isn't as good as it used to be lol.

Thanks flashbang :P I would like to see the rest too, I haven't heard that one, anyone?

old mother hubberd
went to the cupboard
to fetch the poor doggie a bone
when she got there the cupboard was bare
so the poor doggie had none.

God made the little black boys
He made them in a night
He made them in a hurry
And forgot to paint them white !

My Grandma used to sing it to me in the Forties lol !

I remember that one now, thanks jennyren :P

We weren't very PC in those day's were we Molly?

one my dad told us when we were young ....a fishing ,a fishing ,afishing i would go and when i got my tackle out the wind began to blow a steamer passing by gave me a terrible shock into the water i did go and a fish got hold of my cockadoodle doo its nowt to do wi you.

:hihi: and how old were you I wonder before you really knew what it mean't?

Mary had a little lamb,
She couldn't stop it from gruntin,
She took it down the garden path,
And kicked it's little head in!!

My other half told me that one! lol!

Just because there are people out there that believe everything they read, it actually rhymes with gruntin!!:loopy:

I think everyone will have worked that one out :rolleyes::P

Me name is joey brown i keep a little shop with me name upon the top
a fella came in the other day a suit of clothes to buy,
i showed him one for 7/6p.He tries it on says,aye. (37p)
he was ready to walk away when i tapped him on the shoulder ,a said hey the money you,ve got to pay.He turned around and with his fist he drew,he knocked me in the corner says thats the place for you. I,ll whistle for the cops ,he says yer better not or theres gonna be a funeral in the old pop shop.


I come before you to stand behind you to tell you something i know nothing about.
The train i have come on has not yet arrived.
So i got on the bus an walked it.

:hihi: and how old were you I wonder before you really knew what it mean't?

i must have been about 8yrs old before i knew then i would never say it until i had children of my own

thai the first one isn't a rhyme, but curious as to where it originated from :huh:
I like the second one :thumbsup:

thai the first one isn't a rhyme, but curious as to where it originated from :huh:
I like the second one :thumbsup: All i know is dad used to sing it. there is another that goes.

when i was young and in my prime i ran away to sea,i stepped on board a china ship and bound for the open sea. A china man came up to me and said i was a spy and if i did,nt tell a tale he,d pop me in the eye.O gerraway pongo big chinese elephants nest in a rhubarb tree.The captains name was bongo he had a big fat eye,he used to chew his whiskers as the clouds rolled by.

They're different, all new to me :P Taking note of your name, did they originate from china?

Look at that face,
it's a darn disgrace,
I thought it was your bottom,
in a different place!

They're different, all new to me :P Taking note of your name, did they originate from china?
Sorry i really do not know where they came from,just remember my dad singing them to us a kids i,m nearly 56 there are others that im trying to remember.I will ask my brothers and sisters which they remember.There is one called kipper the dipper when i remember how it goes i,ll pass it on. My name is because i love thailand so much and holiday there whenever i can.
Cathy

I like that muckynees :P
Thanks for your contribution anyway thai :thumbsup:

Thought of a saying as I was driving home tonight. Where I was it wasn't raining but I was obviously heading towards it.
The saying was "It's looking a bit black o'er Bill's mother's"
Don't remember where it came from, or who Bill was (or his mother for that matter).

My five year old just sang:

Sticky Sticky,
Bubble gum,

Stick it up your mummys bum.


Call me old fashioned but I prefer the old ones :D

oil (hole) in my stocking,oil in my clog, if you don't gi me a penny i'll punch your dog. This was said after carol singing instead of the God bless you bit.

I don't know who Bill was either, but late father-in-law would say 'Joe' instead because that was his name.:P

Jabbers if I was your OH I'd make sure they put Daddy's name in there instead of Mummy:D