This one was often recited during school dinners in the early sixties! Dessert tended to involve a lot of custard (sometimes all I ate because I didn't like fruit tarts).

Hairy hairy custard
Half a bowl of sick
???????
???????
All stirred up in a dead dog's eye

Can anyone fill in the missing line or lines please? I'm sure The Beatles must have based some of I Am The Walrus on this rhyme! Probably a Liverpool variation.

Hairy hairy custard
Green goz pie
???

This one was often recited during school dinners in the early sixties! Dessert tended to involve a lot of custard (sometimes all I ate because I didn't like fruit tarts).

Hairy hairy custard
Half a bowl of sick
???????
???????
All stirred up in a dead dog's eye

Can anyone fill in the missing line or lines please? I'm sure The Beatles must have based some of I Am The Walrus on this rhyme! Probably a Liverpool variation.
Rather revolting but remember it as:
Scaba matter custard
Green goss pie
toads toe nails
and a tom cats eye
all washed down with a cuppa cold sick.

Hatter matter custard
Green snot pie
Ten dog's gibblet's
And one cat's eye
Bugs on toast
Spread on thick
All washed down
With a cup of cold sick.

Pound, shillings and pence,
The teacher fell over the fence.
She fell in some mustard
And thought it was custard,
Pounds, shillings and pence.

© Malin Bridge School, 1955..;)

what about
My baby has gone down the plughole
My baby has gone down the plug
The poor little thing was so skinny and thin he ought to have been bathed in a jug
my baby is perfectly happy
he won't ....any more (cant remember what comes there)
My baby has gone down the plughole
Not lost, but gone before

Nan and derkimo this is the version I was told
Scaba matter custard
Toenail pie
Dead dog giblets
Cats squashed eye
Hospital phlegm all nice and thick
All washed down with a cup of cold sick
I feel quite ill now, excuse me :gag:

JenC I hope Flashbang saw your fairy story/rhyme I myself really enjoyed it, thank you :) I hadn't the pleasure of it being read to me as a child. I will print it off and see if my youngest grand-daughter has heard it.:thumbsup:

We used to tap on a person's back whilst saying:
up a lader
down a ladder
in dictation
how many pussy cats
went to the station
close your eyes
and think.

We then presed the amount of fingers on there back
and the person would have to guess how many fingers you had preed.

WE teased a lad called wainrightsaying;
Wainright
had a sh..te
in the middle
of the night
saw a ghost
eatingtoast
halfway upa lamp post.

We used to tap on a person's back whilst saying:
up a lader
down a ladder
in dictation
how many pussy cats
went to the station
close your eyes
and think.

We then presed the amount of fingers on there back
and the person would have to guess how many fingers you had preed.

we played that game, and also something very similar, with a rhyme that went:-

"I draw a snake
On this man's back,
which finger
did
..... IT??"

Where we'd draw, with a finger, the 's' shape, on the other person's back, and then 'place' the eye, with a "dab", using a specific finger. The person being "drawn- on" would then have to guess, which finger, from the draw-er's outstretched hands, was the finger with which they'd "drawn" the eye of the snake.

Each wrong guess was 10 points, but I can't remember hat was done with the wrong guesses, and the "points". (I wonder if anyone else can enlighten me? can anyone else remember?)

There were other games with rhymes that we used to play, such as "What time is it, mister wolf" and "Grandmother's footsteps, where we'd have to creep up on the person, using "Giant-steps" or "Fairy-steps"

My mom really told us these " rhymes " :

Jack , Jack shine your light , shine it for a minute ,
our old lad has **** the bed , and all the kids are in it .

There is a happy land far , far away , where they eat bread & ham three times a day , you should have seen the piggys run when they see the farmer come,
three slice off their bum three times a day .

There was a little man and he had a little gun and up the chimney he did run
with a belly full of fat and a long tall hat , with a pancake stuck to his bum.
Pancakes and bums featured a lot in my parents " rhymes " .

:hihi::hihi::hihi: They are so funny!
Welcome to the forum BigLil :wave:

what were the other two my grandma used to sing...?
oh yeah

"Owd *insert name here* in't no good
Chop her up
For fire wood
When she's dead
Stand 'er on 'er 'ead
Then we'll 'ave some
Ginger bread!"

and the other one was:-
"Owd *plain-y's* a funny 'un
With a face like a spanish onion
And a nose like a Squashed tomato
We'll have some for tea!"



I can vouch for these, used to chant them a lot

Me too masbrolass :thumbsup:

Lots of versions of this , but I remember this one from the war.

Jack & Jill went up the hill for a bit of hanky panky,
Jill came down with half a crown,
He must have been a yankee...

Another I remember from the school yard about then, to the Colonel Bogey tune, went ...

Hitler has only got one ball,
Goring has two but very small,
Himmler is some what similar,
But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all ....

I'll get mi coat......

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet her dress all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that had sat down beside her but little Boy Blue with his horn

Thanks - made me laugh

think me long departed grandad made this one up; a slight inclination of the cranium is as adequate as a spasmodic movement of the optic to an equine quadreped devoid of its visionary capacity! or,a nods as good as a wink to a blind horse!!

what about
My baby has gone down the plughole
My baby has gone down the plug
The poor little thing was so skinny and thin he ought to have been bathed in a jug
my baby is perfectly happy
he won't ....any more (cant remember what comes there)
My baby has gone down the plughole
Not lost, but gone before

The next bit that goes in here is " It was nowt but a skellington covered in skin " and thts all i can remember:hihi:

think me long departed grandad made this one up; a slight inclination of the cranium is as adequate as a spasmodic movement of the optic to an equine quadreped devoid of its visionary capacity! or,a nods as good as a wink to a blind horse!!

No he didn't ;) because my Dad taught me that one :hihi: unless he had another secret family tucked away :suspect: :hihi:

i remember an old verse we said at school

say what you will school dinners make
you ill since davey crocket died on shepherds pie.
and school dindins come from pig bins.
thats no lie

My mom really told us these " rhymes " :

There is a happy land far , far away , where they eat bread & ham three times a day , you should have seen the piggys run when they see the farmer come,
three slice off their bum three times a day .

" rhymes " .

I once went with the school to a camp at Pateley Bridge in the 50's and we sang a version of this:

There is a happy camp, far far away
Where we get bread and jam three times a day
Egg and bacon we don't see
We get sawdust in our tea
Down Pateley Bridge

I once went with the school to a camp at Pateley Bridge in the 50's and we sang a version of this:

There is a happy land, far far away
Where we get bread and jam three times a day
Egg and bacon we don't see
We get sawdust in our tea
Down Pateley Bridge

Hey Tofty I went to camp in the 50s to Pateley (sp) Bridge, did you go to Mansel Junior school? I think I was around 11, it was just before I went to Yew Lane. I'd forgot about that song :) but I remember singing it now :thumbsup:

Hey Tofty I went to camp in the 50s to Pateley (sp) Bridge, did you go to Mansel Junior school? I think I was around 11, it was just before I went to Yew Lane. I'd forgot about that song :) but I remember singing it now :thumbsup:

Yes I went to Mansel Junior school and then moved on to Yew Lane in '57.
I seem to remember there was a second verse but apart from few words (something to do with convelescence home) I can't remember it.

the cat crept into the cript
had a c**p
and crept out again.

my brother in law taught my daughter that when she was a little girl.!!!!

little jack horner,
sat in the corner,
eating his christmas pie,
he put in his thumb,
and pulled out a plum,
and said what a good boy am i.

we used to say :- little jack horner sat in the corner with his girlfriend nellie bligh, he shoved up his thumb, and pulled out a plumb! and nellie said where the **** has that come frum!!

we used to say :- little jack horner sat in the corner with his girlfriend nellie bligh, he shoved up his thumb, and pulled out a plumb! and nellie said where the **** has that come frum!!

and another was :- il tell thee a joke abaht a bloke who peed ont fire an made it smoke!! an il tell thee another abaht his bruvver cus he did same the mucky bugger!!

Some of you ( with the risqu'e rhymes) are you sure you were just a child when you heard them :o:hihi:

Absolutely!!A version of the one that Spanner has just posted was taught me by my dear grandmother.Her version went,''I'll tell you a tail about a snail that jumped ont fire and burnt his tail.I'll tell you another about his brother.He peed ont fire the dirty bugger''.I used to tell this to my daughter when she was two or three and,even though her first language wasn't English,she used to roar with laughter.

Jeremiah peed on the fire,
The fire was too hot so he peed in the pot,
The pot was too round so he peed on the ground,
The ground was too flat so he peed on the cat,
Then the cat ran away with the pee on its' back.

If nothing else, it taught us rhyming words!

the cat crept into the cript
had a c**p
and crept out again.

my brother in law taught my daughter that when she was a little girl.!!!!

I remember the surprise on your face, when she came back and told you that one, that day. She was only about 18 months/ 2 years old at the time.

What a long time ago that was!!! Back in the days of "Aunty Irene's potted-dog sandwiches!"

the cat crept into the cript
had a c**p
and crept out again.

my brother in law taught my daughter that when she was a little girl.!!!!

The fly flew in the font

fluffed

and flew out again.

I remember the surprise on your face, when she came back and told you that one, that day. She was only about 18 months/ 2 years old at the time.

What a long time ago that was!!! Back in the days of "Aunty Irene's potted-dog sandwiches!"

Nowt wrong with a bit of potted dog.

A quick rub down with it cures all ailments.

You're right sirglyn and DUFFEMS :) imagine the words some kids will be using today, and they'll not rhyme either :hihi:

There was a rude one that started,

Mary had a little dog his name was tiny Tim,
she took him to the river to teach him how to swim,
he swam to the bottom, he swam to the top,
then Mary got excited and grabbed him by the :o

There was more but I can't remember it....

I remember the surprise on your face, when she came back and told you that one, that day. She was only about 18 months/ 2 years old at the time.

What a long time ago that was!!! Back in the days of "Aunty Irene's potted-dog sandwiches!"

Nowt wrong with a bit of potted dog.

A quick rub down with it cures all ailments.

Ah, but ask Whissiewoo about my mother's potted-dog sandwiches:- they were a speciality without compare. Whissiewoo's daughter still talks about her Aunty Irene's pancake-flat potted-dog sandwiches to this day.

There was a rude one that started,

Mary had a little dog his name was tiny Tim,
she took him to the river to teach him how to swim,
he swam to the bottom, he swam to the top,
then Mary got excited and grabbed him by the :o

There was more but I can't remember it....

I remember that the next line went:-

then Mary got excited and grabbed him by the
Cockles and Mussels
One-and-two (1-/2d) a pound...

then I remember there was something about "calling the operator, get me number nine"

I actually found myself singing this recently; (surely senility?)
'Hold the fort for I am coming on a donkey cart
The shafts are brocken and wheels are rotten
And the donkey's had a "fluff"' :hihi:

There was a rude one that started,

Mary had a little dog his name was tiny Tim,
she took him to the river to teach him how to swim,
he swam to the bottom, he swam to the top,
then Mary got excited and grabbed him by the :o

There was more but I can't remember it....

Here's another one Grinder:

Mi eyes, mi nose, mi mouth, mi chin
Follow mi down to mi Uncle Jim
Uncle Jim makes lemonade
Around the corner chocolate's made

Here's one we kids bellowed when rolling home from play,

As I was walking past The Ritz
I grabbed a woman by the elbow,
She said young man you've got some pluck
come inside and have a ham sandwich
threepence, sixpence, ninepence, a bob
all according to the size of your appetite! :hihi:

Touch ur collar never follo
never die of fever..
touch ur fingers touch ur toes
never go in one of those. .
Every time we saw an ambulance we used t touch our fingers and toes as kids.
Still remember now lol.

Here's one from the school playground that was topical circa 1963:

Half a pound of Mandy Rice
Half a pound of Keeler
Thirty bob to slap her a**e
Fifty bob to feel her

Jim, Jim somebody threw a tomato at him
Tomatoes don't hurt he said with a grin
but that b****r did
Cos it came in a tin.

Jim, Jim somebody threw a tomato at him
Tomatoes don't hurt he said with a grin
but that b****r did
Cos it came in a tin.

we sang this as

"An actor, an actor,
Was my uncle Jim,
Till somebody threw,
A tomato at him,
Now tomatoes are soft,
And they don't break the skin,
But this one was different,
It was stil in the tin!"

Sheffield /Yorkshire was the home of poem some very good others not so, spent a lot of time at school doing recital ,stood me in good stead when I had to remember ,Albert & the lion,Sam Small, three a-pence a foot,and all the others

Here's one from the school playground that was topical circa 1963:

Half a pound of Mandy Rice
Half a pound of Keeler
Thirty bob to slap her a**e
Fifty bob to feel her

We had one:-
A girl called Christine Keeler
let lots of MPs feel her
the price of a shag
was a brand new Jag
and Profumo was the dealer.

Here's one from the school playground that was topical circa 1963:

Half a pound of Mandy Rice
Half a pound of Keeler
Thirty bob to slap her a**e
Fifty bob to feel her-------

And i DiD hihihi. :hihi:

I wish I was a caterpillar
I would have a farce,
I'd climb up all the grass stalks
and slide down on my elbow....:heyhey:

I wish I was a caterpillar
I would have a farce,
I'd climb up all the grass stalks
and slide down on my elbow....:heyhey:

hiya remember rayn rayn goo away cum anudder weshin day

my nan used to say, she sells sea shells on the sea shore,
should she shell sea shells on the see saw, i don't remember the rest.

red lorry yellow lorry, red lorry yellow lorry,, say it fast.

Little Nelly Vickers
Washed her frilly knickers
And hung them out to dry
There came a little birdie
Who did a little turdy
And made poor Nelly cry.

Sung to the tune 'Seasons in the Sun', by Terry Jacks

We had joy,
We had fun,
flickin' bogies at the sun,
when the sun got too hot,
all the bogies turned to snot!

My brother and I used to howl at that one, irritated the pants off my mum, :)

Whether the weather be fine
whether the weather be not
whether the weather be cold
whether the weather be hot
we'll whether the weather
whatever the weather
whether we like it or not.

It is a silly thread this. Or so I thought until I remembered one. I can't remember the whole thing but it went: 'Oh the motor car, what has it done for me?
I came a crop, killed a cop, ran into Hunter's Bar,
Oh, the motor,motor,motor,motor,wreck of a motor car.

I suppose that's only a chorus of an old variety song. I can't remember anymore but my Grandad used to sing it. Things like this run around in your head for years and you don't realize.

Music while you work
Snow white made a shirt
Hitler wore it
Churchill tore it
music while you work..
:banana:

Mary Ellen at the church turned up
Her dad turned up and her mam turned up
Her sister Gert, and her rich uncle Bert
Parson in his long white shirt turned up

But no bridegroom with the ring turned up
Just a telegram boy with his nose turned up
Brought a telegram to say that he didn't want to wed
And they found him in the river with his toes turned up

You all keep remembering these rhymes etc I never realized there was so many, thanks guys :thumbsup:

Pull a little handle
Chu … chu … chu …
and away we go
down by the sea
where melons grow
back to my home
I dare not go
for if I do
my mother will say
I'VE BEEN OUT WITH POP MO' LIZZIE ALL DAY

Does anyone remember one that started-

"Why was he born so beautiful," ?

Why was he born so beautiful
Why was he born at all
He's no bloody use to anyone
He's no bloody use at all

The elephant is a graceful bird
It hops from bough to bough
It builds its nest in a Rhubarb tree
And whistles like a cow

she hasn't a spot on her character,
she hasn't a spot on her clothes,
the only spot is the spot that she's got,
right on the end of her nose...


It's probably been said before but if you think I'm going to search back through that lot, your wrong ...

If a Centipede a pint

What did a Precipice?





A SHEER DROP


Happy Days! PopT

Snot snot
Hot or not
give me a bucket
I`ll give you alot
lololololololo

Sung to the tune 'Seasons in the Sun', by Terry Jacks

We had joy,
We had fun,
flickin' bogies at the sun,
when the sun got too hot,
all the bogies turned to snot!

My brother and I used to howl at that one, irritated the pants off my mum, :)

I remember the tune we used to sing that too as well terry jacks seasons in the sun lololololololol:hihi::hihi::hihi:

The sexual urge of the Camel is stranger than most people think,
for some times in moments of passion he tries to make love to the Sphinx,
but the Sphinx's posterior passage is blocked by the sands of the Nile,
Which accounts for the humps of the camel and the Sphinx's mysterious smile...

It wasn't the cough
that carried him off
it was the coffin
they carried him off in!!!!

Gran used to recite this when she caught me smoking!!!!

upon a hill there stands a cow
it must have moo'ved
cos its not there now

:rant:too market too market with my uncle jim
when somebody threw a tomato at him
now tomatoes are soft and they dont hurt the skin
but this one it did it was still in the tin


:o i called on my girlfriend her name is miss brown
she was still in the bath when i called her down
i said slip on something be down in a tick
so she slipped on the soap
and by gum she was quick


:loopy: i called on the milkmaid she was milking the cow
but poor little mary she didnt know how
the farmer came in and gave mary the sack
so she turned the cow over and put the milk back:loopy:

What laughing Ive had reading this entire thread. To finish PTs rhyme. Rule, Britannia, two tanners make a bob. Three make eighteen pence, And four two bob. When a lull in the conversation, Grandad would come out with that.

Chalie Wag, s..t in a bag, bought a pianna, for two and a tanner. Anyone remember the rest? Recited at any one of that name.

I'm Popeye the sailor man
I live in a caravan
bought a pianner for two and a tanner
I'm Popeye the sailor man
peep peep

Chalie Wag, s..t in a bag, bought a pianna, for two and a tanner. Anyone remember the rest? Recited at any one of that name.

I remember it as, "wiped his bum on a German flag"....:o

And one I remember us saying as kids went,

As I was walking passed St Pauls......

Any one dare remember the next line ?

Heres one my dad taught me when I was 6yrs old It got me a smack from my teacher when I told it to her! A little fly flew past my door..And flew right into the grocers store...It ****** on the cheese and ****** on the ham...And wiped its arse on the gooseberry jam..When the grocer saw what the fly had done...He loaded up a gatling gun...He chased that fly up and down...And tried to shoot him up his brown...But the little fly was much to quick...He showed the grocer man a trick...He flew all round the shop and then...Went back and ****** on the ham again!

Here's one my auntie used to sing to us:-
Frances Sapphire she p***ed on the fire
The fire was hot so she p***ed on the pot
The pot was too round so she p***ed on the ground
The ground was too flat so she p***ed on the cat
and the cat ran away with the p*** on it's back !

Ice cream penny a lump
the more you eat
the more you trump

The girls used to say following when rope skipping

Alal bala boosha the king of the jews
bought his wife a pair of shoes
when the shoes began to wear
Alal bala boosha began to swear

A song we sang now and again in the army:

Why are we waiting? (sung to Joyful and triumphant) the first line was the same as the rest of the song

IThe girls used to say following when rope skipping

Alal bala boosha the king of the jews
bought his wife a pair of shoes
when the shoes began to wear
Alal bala boosha began to swear

we sang that song, and skipped to it, but we sang it as "Nebuchadnezzar, king of the Jews..."

:rant:too market too market with my uncle jim
when somebody threw a tomato at him
now tomatoes are soft and they dont hurt the skin
but this one it did it was still in the tin


:o i called on my girlfriend her name is miss brown
she was still in the bath when i called her down
i said slip on something be down in a tick
so she slipped on the soap
and by gum she was quick


:loopy: i called on the milkmaid she was milking the cow
but poor little mary she didnt know how
the farmer came in and gave mary the sack
so she turned the cow over and put the milk back:loopy:

Spider legs not heard these before but they didn't half make me laugh :hihi:

You remind me of a man
what man?
the man with powers
what powers?
the powers of voodoo
whodoo?
you do
I do what?
You remind me of a man
what man?.......................

Sorry just reminded me of that. My dad used to say all time!

Rule Britania three monkeys up a stick
One fell down and hurt his
Willy was a bulldog lying in the sun
A bumblebee flew past and stung him on his
Ask no questions tell no lies
I saw a chinaman doing up his
Flies are a nuisance bugs are even worse
and that is the end of my naughty little verse

My mom really told us these " rhymes " :

Jack , Jack shine your light , shine it for a minute ,
our old lad has **** the bed , and all the kids are in it .

There is a happy land far , far away , where they eat bread & ham three times a day , you should have seen the piggys run when they see the farmer come,
three slice off their bum three times a day .

There was a little man and he had a little gun and up the chimney he did run
with a belly full of fat and a long tall hat , with a pancake stuck to his bum.
Pancakes and bums featured a lot in my parents " rhymes " .

Mine too BIGLIL!
My dad's:-
Not last night but the night before,
3 tomcats came knocking at our door,
1 had a fiddle,
1 had a drum,
And 1 had a pancake stuck to it's bum. :hihi:


I chased a bug...
around a tree...
i'll have it's blood...
he knows I will (say it fast it sounds like swearing)


Polish it behind the door! (Polly sh*t)

You know my auntie Nelly,
she's got a rubber belly,
and every time you press it,
out pops jelly!

So funny, things we used to say, get locked up for it today.