View Full Version : Cacology Control


Phanerothyme
05-10-2003, 19:29
With apologies to anyone who can't give a rat's arse about about other people talking a load of old toot....

Sir,

With regard to your use of the cacographic word ‘Cactacophagy’ Being as no such word to is to be found to describe the eating of a small dumpling cactus known as Peyote, in a search of several dictionaries and the net. Perhaps the Greek form ‘cactacophagia’ would not be such cacology. Maybe the ingestation of 3,4,5-Trimethoxybenzeneethanamine would surfice, or would that be a synthetic case of cacography and cacology.

I remain Sir,
Your Humble (ever so) Servant,
CW.

Dear Sir,
As quality control manager at CC & CC (Cacology, Cacography and Cacophony Control) I am distressed that you should find your newly minted neologism cactacophagy not sufficient for your porpoises.

May I assure you that we craft our neologisms with loving care and every facet of linguistic legerdemain was taken into account when choosing the suffix -phagy in preference to the more latinate sounding but nevertheless interchangeable -phagia.

I am given to understand that the maturation period of lophophora williamsii is close to 25 years, nearer 40 or 50 in the most prized specimens. I am also given to understand that they are now in scarce supply to to overcollecting. It grows now mainly in areas designated by the Native American Church so that they may conduct their own rituals.

Trichocereus Pachanoi is another member of cactacae with similar reported patterns of use, but it is a common landscaping cactus in Southern California, where it flourishes. It sports a range of phenethylamines, in particular 3,4,5-trimethoxyphenethylamine.

Our Sign/Signifier Link Testing Facility has validated cactacophagy with a cascade probability of .77 as having the meaning 'to consume cactus', including the two species mentioned above. This certifcate is available for your inspection subject to an obscenely large administration fee.

I remain,
Yours faithfully
Rev. P. H. Anerothyme


Edited as requested - Lickszz

halevan
06-10-2003, 15:01
Originally posted by Phanerothyme
With apologies to anyone who can't give a rat's arse about about other people talking a load of old toot....


Dear Sir,
As quality control manager at CC & CC (Cacology, Cacography and Cacophony Control) I am distressed that you should find your newly minted neologism cactacophagy not sufficient for your porpoises.

May I assure you that we craft our neologisms with loving care and every facet of linguistic legerdemain was taken into account when choosing the suffix -phagy in preference to the more latinate sounding but nevertheless interchangeable -phagia.

I am given to understand that the maturation period of lophophora williamsii is close to 25 years, nearer 40 or 50 in the most prized specimens. I am also given to understand that they are now in scarce supply to to overcollecting. It grows now mainly in areas designated by the Native American Church so that they may conduct their own rituals.

Trichocereus Pachanoi is another member of cactacae with similar reported patterns of use, but it is a common landscaping cactus in Southern California, where it flourishes. It sports a range of phenethylamines, in particular 3,4,5-trimethoxyphenethylamine.

Our Sign/Signifier Link Testing Facility has validated cactacophagy with a cascade probability of .77 as having the meaning 'to consume cactus', including the two species mentioned above. This certifcate is available for your inspection subject to an obscenely large administration fee.

I remain,
Yours faithfully
Rev. P. H. Anerothyme


Edited as requested - Lickszz

PARDON???

Classic Rock
06-10-2003, 15:15
I'm glad I developed the art of skim reading at an early age.....

Phanerothyme
06-10-2003, 15:37
I posted this in a new thread because it was getting dangerously off topic here (http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=3464&perpage=40&pagenumber=2). I think Carlwarker (the intended recipient) either
a)missed it
b)is composing a reply
or
c)doesn't care...<sniff>

Funke88
07-10-2003, 00:35
What the hell???
Skim reading, yeh that was me before I got lost half way down and decided to respond. I feel the point is, well not sure. Is there point?

spook
07-10-2003, 15:40
ok, i'm stoopid :?

Phanerothyme
09-10-2003, 15:34
In short,
Carlwarker replied to a post of mine containing the word 'cactacophagy' (act of eating a cactus), pointing out that the word doesn't exist, and besides -phagia was the ending required to make the word mean 'eating of...'

I replied in turn that this was not the case as '-phagy' and '-phagia' are interchangeable suffixes, both signifiying the act of eating or consuming.

His post was mock epistolary as was mine, and I was hoping he would reply in kind, as I really enjoy making this sort of rubbish up.

BigD
10-10-2003, 11:31
Ohhhh!! That explains it much better then!!

Can we ban intelligent buggers from this forum?:D

Carlwarker
10-10-2003, 12:43
Originally posted by Phanerothyme
I posted this in a new thread because it was getting dangerously off topic here (http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=3464&perpage=40&pagenumber=2). I think Carlwarker (the intended recipient) either
a)missed it
b)is composing a reply
or
c)doesn't care...<sniff>

My Dear Sir,

Phan – if I may address you as such, without appearing to be overfamiliar,

You can cease your sniffing – I really do care ‘a rat’s ass’ (NB. American version of ‘arse’, in deference to an American ‘ground source’). And, ‘actually’, to coin the Pet Shop Boys, I have only just come across your posting (being a victim of the new thread subterfuge).

As Max Bygraves once sang: Why are the prairie dogs howling? - No trees on the prairie – Just cactus.’ But, I digress …

As far as Williams is concerned, I believe he’d had a lobotomy, when he (or whoever) coined the phrase lophophora williamsii, instead of using the simple word ‘peyote’ which consists, in part ,of hordenine, n-methylmescaline, n-acetylmescaline, pellotine, anhalinine, anhalonine, anhalidnine, anhalonidine, anhalomine, o-methylanhalonidine, tyramine and lophophorine – and so say all of us – being as it superceded the more toxic bean: ‘Sophora Secundiflora’ (does that make it a ‘has-bean’?) - but , I digress again …

Please note that ‘Jack and the Sophora Secundiflora Stalk’ doesn’t quite make it, although, I suspect, that it’s nearer the mark, to describe the original Jack’s shenanigans.

I hope that these musings upon cactacophagia will satisfy you, and that you have stopped sniffing,
I remain, Sir (spelling? Cur),:)
Your disobedient Servant, (and ever so humble),
CW.

Ps. I am now going in search of the historical Teonanacatl.*

* see Abby Hofmann’s: http://www.maui.net/~jms/chapter6.html

Carlwarker
10-10-2003, 12:53
Originally posted by BigD
Ohhhh!! That explains it much better then!!

Can we ban intelligent buggers from this forum?:D

Please BigD - no aspersions upon my sexuality.

I am, indeed, heterosexual - but, at my age, I admit to feeling 'buggered' most of the time.:)

Intelligent, you say - No Sir, just the long-term effects of mushrooms, fried cactus and a life-long search for the elusive Teonanacatl.

mikey
10-10-2003, 14:07
Ah you mean the entheogenic mushrooms of Mesoamerica ?

:loopy:

Carlwarker
10-10-2003, 14:20
Right on Mikey.

Keep on truckin'.:thumbsup: