Blessed members and guests of the Forum,

I have an issue with my flat-mate, but before I speak to her I thought it would make good subject fodder and would welcome comments from both sides of the perspective.

Basically, she has a boyfriend from out of town who stays over, not a got a problem there. The problem has arose where when she is working, he in the in the flat (He has no job early 30's and live with his parents) I didn't mind the odd time but it hacked me off when last weekend on returning back with my girlfriend knowing my flat-mate was working all weekend, he was encamped in the living-room all Saturday and Sunday, DVD's on and sandwich in hand! I have also got back from work to find him there while she is at work as well.

I have a full-time job and a 3 evenings a week part-time job and also spend quite a few nights round my girlfriend's place, so she has pretty much a free run of the place. On the occasions when im not working or at my girls pad and my flat-mate is working, I expect that to be MY time.

She didn't even ask me if it was ok for this to happen. She goes off to work and leaves him her key to come and go as he pleases.

I signed the contract with the Landlord alone. There is nothing between me and her, she just gives me half of the rent.

I am going to speak to her about it citing that if she knew that I was working all weekend and she returned to find my mate crashing over without her knowing, she would be anything other than impressed. Is she's off work, I have no problem with him being there.

My view is that he is a free-loading parasite

Question: Am I being unreasonable??

I feel for you. You are not been petty at all - in fact yo are being very reasonable. I would relly sit down and talk to you flatmate and say exactly what you have posted on here - you have a very strong and good point. I personally would not put up with that at all it doesnt seem fair, they are shared living quarters and you are entitled to half. x

Don't think you're being unreasonable. Talk to her about it.
I'd suggest a first demand should be that if she's not there then he shouldn't be either. Tell her to stop lending him her key. If she refuses I'd get rid of her as she's not got any kind of contract. A lock change may also help drill the message home a bit. Oh, and ask for some cash off him to cover leccy, gas, food etc.
If someone treats their partner's shared flat in such a way, I very much doubt a gentle word will sort it - they cleary have no respect for you/your space.

I agree that you've got a point. But I think hotphil might be jumping the gun a bit. She probably doesn't know that it's offended you, and/or hasn't thought about it from your point of view. She may not even be aware that he spent most of the weekend there.

When I started seeing my SO she was sharing a house, I was obviously a regular guest and occaisionally left after her in the morning, but I wouldn't have wanted to hang around there when she was out, that would just be odd (even though I got on well with her flat mates).

Definitely ask her to stop lending out her key as whilst she might trust this person, there's no reason you have too.

I see here then that your flatmate doesnt have an agreement with you to pay?

Thing is its a risky thing to do, assuming you have given your landlord a deposit, what would happen if items are left damaged by your flatmate afterwards? Surely you will be held responsible. If there was a refusal to pay the rent, can you pay it all yourself?

I would have though any room being let within a dwelling would surely have a contract, stating that it is a single occupancy room overnight, and guests should be notified before allowing them to stay over.

Speak to them first, rather then arguing over it.

I don't think you're being unreasonable, but I think you need to just speak to her about it firstly. She may think it's *normal* behaviour, until someone points out otherwise. If hes using the house while yous are out, he should be contributing, and you should tell her this if she gets arsey with you.

Speak to her, see how it works out and then ultimately you can ask her to leave citing the fact its now working out.

Isn`t that sub-letting?
I would talk to her ,try and stay calm even though I would Probaly would flip
I take it you are paying full council tax,not being funny just want you to be careful when you tackle her.some people can be vindictive when challenged
good luck
:thumbsup:

Thanks to all for the replies.

To answer Jayjay, I pay the FULL Council and the Landlord is cool that i have someone in sharing the load so to speak.

I have talked to her and she was ok about it, saying that she appreciated my honesty etc.

Lets hope this is the end of it!!

Thanks again

give him a slap

You've actually had success then? Congratulations.
Another consideration if that hadn't worked would be to speak to the landlord. Chances are he wouldn't be too chuffed about someone staying there for free either.

if your landlord was cool I suspect he is a closeted Inuit.