Is it just me, or is gardening a completely soul-destroying activity? Due to an admin error I have been forced to go out today and buy some bits of privet for a hedge. Worse still, I now have to go outside (again), dig holes and shove the aforementioned into the rich loam of old england, like a common labourer. And who do I have to inspire me - TV's Alan [****] farce, a one-man reason for the restoration of the death penalty. I have tried listening to my favourite gramaphone recordings while gardening, but even The Inkspots cannot raise my spirits above a sort of low-level, persistant urge to stick my head in the oven. Do I just give in and employ a gardener, or is there an answer? And why are there so many bloody magpies all over the place?

LOL I also hate gardening!! For me if the grass is short enough that it doesn't actually obscure the sun (on days when the sun is actually out), and the neighbours kids ain't playing at snipers in it, then that's good enough for me :D

I love gardening, but then I don't have a lawn, they are a waste of time.

I enjoy gardening when I get the chance to spend enough time to do it properly. What I find quite soul-destroying is when you spend time and effort pulling all the damn dandelions up, or poisoning them, only to see grass verges and grassed roundabouts absolutely thick with them - all with their seed heads waiting to blow into my garden. I reckon the council (or whichever department deals with these areas) should seed them with wild flowers. Make the place look nice, better for insects etc, less labour involved in cutting the grass and less room for dandelions to flourish.

My garden is very low maintenance.
So gardening mainly consists of watering and a bit of pruning, cleaning the BBQ and clearing away the beer bottles :)

Thanks for the interest, everyone. Just to let you know, the bits of privet are in, the afternoon of April 1st 2005 has gone forever (never to return) and my soul is destroyed. I'm thinking of having the entire grounds of Toffingham Hall concreted with concrete. And yes, the council should grow wild flowers (as it were) instead of dandelions. Has anyone ever tried getting wild bird seed, by the way? Bloody impossible to catch, even with the finest net.

I love my garden..... well did before the building work started now its a pile of bricks and clay!!! the only problem is the monotonous stuff i.e. cutting the lawn and hedges and getting rid of all the garden rubbish. I love planting fragrant flowers and shrubs getting it ready for the summer. Its really satisfiying coming home from work and doing a bit each night I am happy stopping out till it goes dark..... its very relaxing.

come on boys reconsider your judgement on the matter!

PRIVET? but Lord Snooty darling - sooooo last 50 years ....

I'm not surprised your soul is destroyed - privet is deadly stuff and it starves the soil too ...why not something that's pretty and smells nice too for the peasants to enjoy as they pass Toffingham Hall and somewhere for the little birds to live and take a snack from also .... a mixed shrub hedge would be so much friendlier than dull boring lonicera ...

Yes, why ARE there so many magpies about?

Originally posted by nick2
My garden is very low maintenance.
So gardening mainly consists of watering and a bit of pruning, cleaning the BBQ and clearing away the beer bottles :)

Sounds rather like my garden. A low-maintenance garden is definitely the answer.

Less time gardening, and more time with the beer and the food.

Originally posted by rubydazzler
[B]PRIVET? but Lord Snooty darling - sooooo last 50 years ....


I agree, Miss Dazzler, privet is tripe, but unfortunately my hands were tied. I have a mixed hedge of holly, laurel and some other things with tiny little leaves on, and hawthorn, to the rear of my estate. I was forced to plant the privet against my better judgement. Sometimes being a Lord (even) just isn't enough. I am ashen.......privet......what was I thinking?.......

Originally posted by Dirtydog
What I find quite soul-destroying is when you spend time and effort pulling all the damn dandelions up, or poisoning them, only to see grass verges and grassed roundabouts absolutely thick with them - all with their seed heads waiting to blow into my garden.

I reckon the council (or whichever department deals with these areas) should seed them with wild flowers. Make the place look nice, better for insects etc, less labour involved in cutting the grass and less room for dandelions to flourish.

I have seriously contemplated this approach to the patch of nettles in the vacinity of my garden, which doesn't qualify for council manicures

Sorry about your soul Lord Snooty!

Just thought I'd point out that Dandelions ARE wildflowers, and they are very nice too. Just don't have a lawn if it bothers you that much, have a patio and some tubs or something. Mowing is a waste of time and as for faffing around with lawn weeds! I'm considering exchanging my mower for a donkey. They eat dandelions and possibly small children as well.

Maybe you should try eating a pomegranet Snooty old chap it worked for whatsername in Hades didn't it? Can't remember the story its one of those greek ones.

I have eaten pomegranites (how on earth do you spell the word?). Many times. And always with a pin - why? I'm quite happy to eat pomeywhatsits, despite being a Lord, but I don't understand the connection. How will it help me get rid of magpies?

No... it will help you escape from Hades and come back to the world of the living. Since your soul is destroyed I thought it might be something to try, just in case. Buffy the Vampire slayer's back on channel 5, might find a more exotic solution there?

And you can't get rid of magpies, be careful as they know what you're thinking and they might get rid of you first!

Solution = shrubs + slash + burn * 2 * annually

Originally posted by max
Solution = shrubs + slash + burn * 2 * annually

A man after my own heart Max :thumbsup:

Got to go the weeds are winning the war :mad:

LordSnooty,

Listening to The Inkspots.

Aren't they an early version of the Velvet Underground?

If I could spend all day in the garden I would be in heaven. As it is I have to steal the precious times with both hands as I have the most foul-mouthed chav neighbours with the little **** kids from hell you could ever wish to meet. I 'loved' my garden until they descended upon us 3 years ago.

Gardening can be very theraputic. I admit I hate the hard graft of gardening. The best time is when the soil is moist as it takes less effort.

Originally posted by missb
If I could spend all day in the garden I would be in heaven. As it is I have to steal the precious times with both hands as I have the most foul-mouthed chav neighbours with the little **** kids from hell you could ever wish to meet. I 'loved' my garden until they descended upon us 3 years ago.

Gardening can be very theraputic. I admit I hate the hard graft of gardening. The best time is when the soil is moist as it takes less effort.

missb: dont let *****y kids or neighbours ruin your enjoyment of your garden.... if you have fencing put some trellice up and if not grow your hedges. Get yourself a noisy water feature so it drowns out (excuse the pun) the noise of the kids...

Or you could always put some classical music on full blast.

Good luck

Originally posted by missb
If I could spend all day in the garden I would be in heaven. As it is I have to steal the precious times with both hands as I have the most foul-mouthed chav neighbours with the little **** kids from hell you could ever wish to meet. I 'loved' my garden until they descended upon us 3 years ago.



Wait until the wasps become active and chuck a liberal amount of jam over the fence so it lands in the middle of their garden. That should keep the buggers in!!:hihi:

Originally posted by dishwasher

Listening to The Inkspots.

Aren't they an early version of the Velvet Underground?

I'm sorry, I wrote a response to this which seems to have disappeared. Er, yes, I think there is a link between The Inkspots and the Velvet Underground, in much the same way as the Andrews Sisters are an early version of MC5. And, now you mention it, isn't Bing Crosby a sort of prototype Klaus Nomi?

Originally posted by LordSnooty
Is it just me, or is gardening a completely soul-destroying activity??

I removed all the grass from my garden and replaced it with the a pond and the pebble look. Who said lifes too short to spend it cutting grass? or was it stuff a mushroom, same thing really.

Here is a pic of my miss'is doing the garden. (http://www.aburke.freeuk.com/_private/Images/P6040014.jpg)

Originally posted by LordSnooty
I'm sorry, I wrote a response to this which seems to have disappeared. Er, yes, I think there is a link between The Inkspots and the Velvet Underground, in much the same way as the Andrews Sisters are an early version of MC5. And, now you mention it, isn't Bing Crosby a sort of prototype Klaus Nomi?

I saw your name against a quote box, but you somehow omitted to get your own text to appear at the bottom of it - perhaps that's why it was removed?

Originally posted by Lostrider
I removed all the grass from my garden and replaced it with the a pond and the pebble look. Who said lifes too short to spend it cutting grass? or was it stuff a mushroom, same thing really.

Here is a pic of my miss'is doing the garden. (http://www.aburke.freeuk.com/_private/Images/P6040014.jpg)

Is that a beagley type dog in the foreground? Did you do that to your garden to dog proof it? :hihi:

Dear Snooty,
you tell an interesting tale about the rough and tumble of your estate. I have a very good gardener, who I keep to myself as I don't want to loose him. But I may have my jaw loosed if your port wine is of adequate vintage.

MC

HelloMuddyCoffee - How could yew doubt the wotsit of my portwine? It's grate..........Er......yesh, wot everesch yew want........I forwhatshish the fack quesh.....

Gardening is the therapy for stress for me.
I love Gardening..
I am held back though as I wait with baited breath so that I can move to my new garden at Crookes, which is not a patch on my huge garden at Meersbrook.
I have no incentive to do the gardening here as I just want to move.
I have all my plants packed up in pots ready to move, eagerly waiting for a different kind of soil( no doubt ) on Brighton Terrace Road.They also are tired of waiting and some look really sad as they have anticipated their ride in the back of the removal van for so long.
Oh well, surveyor on his way again on Thursday.
See what he thinks.. but surely he will love my garden.
Pity they dont inspect that as part of their survey!!!

When we first moved in this house there was a lovely rose garden in the front which needed lots of tending.

We ripped it all out, the only way to deal with rose's and prissy little gardens Im sure you'll agree.

Off down to the builders yard with a trailer on the back and returned with 3/4 of a ton of stone chippings.

Half an hour latter the garden was done for life!!

Result.

ttfn

Originally posted by Strix
Is that a beagley type dog in the foreground? Did you do that to your garden to dog proof it? :hihi:

I am glad you said in the forground :heyhey: . No, my dog has got at least one brain cell. He's a very old Welsh Springer.
And no, I did it to work proof it.:)

Originally posted by saxon51
Wait until the wasps become active and chuck a liberal amount of jam over the fence so it lands in the middle of their garden. That should keep the buggers in!!:hihi:

What a great idea I WILL try this. I'll let you know the outcome:heyhey:

Originally posted by Lostrider
No, my dog has got at least one brain cell. He's a very old Welsh Springer.:)

My farrier has a similar dog he rescued, but it looks a bit hairier. We thought it was some kind of spaniel but he says it was handed over with the desription welsh colly or welsh springer. Maybe its a cross, but it does look quite like yours. I can tell him it will calm down one day then, if your is anything to go by! Not that its a bother, just he doesn't have much time to play with it.

(SEE EVERYONE I can do the quote thingy now!)

Originally posted by graceomally
My farrier has a similar dog he rescued, but it looks a bit hairier. We thought it was some kind of spaniel but he says it was handed over with the desription welsh colly or welsh springer. Maybe its a cross, but it does look quite like yours. I can tell him it will calm down one day then, if your is anything to go by! Not that its a bother, just he doesn't have much time to play with it.

(SEE EVERYONE I can do the quote thingy now!)


It does have longer hair but we have him clipped every eight weeks. Dont be fooled by the lethargic dog, this was a brief moment of rest. He is normaly like a raving lunatic :loopy: . Tell your friend if his is a a springer, the good news is that they do quieten down eventually, ours was 10 when he did but he did get arthritus.:heyhey:

Originally posted by Lostrider
No, my dog has got at least one brain cell.
:mad: I shan't sink to your offensive level with my response :mad:

Hugs and kisses, a beagle owner

Originally posted by Strix
:mad: I shan't sink to your offensive level with my response :mad:

Hugs and kisses, a beagle owner

Please apologise to your dog, if it is any comfort to him tell him I once had an Irish Setter. :hihi: