This is a Pet/Gardening question I suppose, but:

I have a pond in the garden with several big fish in it, Ive had the pond for about 5 years now and most of the fish were with me from the first day I put the pond in.
There are several females and a few males and as usual, its spring and the females are almost bursting with eggs.

Trouble is, they wont lay, the males are chasing them around occasionally but the females simply wont lay.

Each year some of the females become egg-bound and die.

What should I do to get them in the mood for jiggy-jiggy? Play Barry White mp3s and turn the lights down low?
Are there any hints n tips for getting these lazy pisceans to start doing naughty things to each other?

Well you could stop leering at them for a start, that has to be off putting!

Well you could stop leering at them for a start, that has to be off putting!

I must admit that I DO keep looming over the pond to see what theyre up to, and its NOT in the vague hope that theyll allow me to join in!

I almost drowned last year.

I am not up on pond fish but my tropicals require somewhere 'safe' for them to lay eggs and rear young. Try some plant pots on their side to provide shelter, I assume you have plants in there already. Also the water must be in excellent condition for some types of fish to breed. I would try maybe going to somewhere like Koy pastures at coal aston and pic up a book on the type of fish you have - there is often a section on how breed fish.

Thanks for that!

I know the water temp has to be right too and as we have a north facing garden the water doesnt get any sun on it until pretty late in the day.