Hello,
I really need some advice from anyone with twins or anyone who may just have any suggestion on how to deal with my children. I am having quite a lot of issues surrounding behaviour at the mo. There nearly 3.
I have for the 2nd time tday, 1st time this morning before we even got up and 2nd time when iv put them down for a quick nap, just put there bedroom back together after they have pushed there beds into the middle of the room, taken all there bedding of and threw there toys all over,climbed into the wardrobe and threw clothin on the floor, then sat watching a dvd surrounded by this mess. This has been going on for weeks with them.
I have in the past always asked for them to help mummy put toys away or we have tidy up time but i have now hit stale mate with them both. they both just refuse to put away and iv just told them both of and am feeling quite bad now. Both in bed with a stern warning not to get back out (gives me time to cool down too). i can feel the steam coming out of my ears as i write :)
This is happening on a daily basis and i am getting to the end of my tether with the pair of them. I know it sounds trivial but its driving me nuts. They are getting quite aggressive with each other and there older two sisters too, but yet when they go to nursery they are good as gold which i am obviously glad about as i would hate for them to behave like they do at home anywhere else. Anyone any ideas.

Firstly I'm not a parent, but had two very young brothers to deal with when I was a teenager due to my mother's ill health

The elder of the two teenies got used to the idea that his big sisters would be forced to do all the tidying up if he refused, so I carried out my threat to vacuum up the lego - that only happened once! (I'd taken the bag out so the lego was safe ;) )

In your case I'd go for the threat of binbags - and when it happens again put it all in binbags and leave them with an empty room. You can choose how they earn their toys back

Am I too harsh? :?

Sorry - I didn't make it clear that you have to make it clear to them before it happens again - it's not fair to do it in a fit of temper unannounced

Hiya, I don't have twins but I have kids and I know how much they can act up.
One of the first rules is, if you make a threat ie- tell them you will throw away their toys if they aren't put away, you MUST carry that threat out otherwise they lose all fear of consequence.
If it has gotten you to the "end of your thether" then I would say that small changes need to be made in order for them to be affective. If you try to go the whole hog it almost always fails and leaves you feeling worse.
I would start by sitting down and explaining in their words what they are doing wrong, again keep it simple as not to bamboozle them.You would need to be the same eye level as they are for this and the tone of your voice sometimes makes a whole lot of difference, no shouting just a real firm voice.
Try making it into a game (if you have the time) and offer small rewards for good behaviour. This may help them to identify their individual strengths ie one may be better at doing one thing and same for the other. They may start to enjoy seeing who can get a treat first rather than who can throw the clothes all over the floor first (be careful not to make them competative though).
I hope that you can get some sort of achievemnent from this thread and wish you the best of luck hun x

Thank you ill certainly give it a go anything is worth a try. Wish me luck :)

I've got twins and I go for total measures straight away whenever I can. Empty room - no problem. I've tied the wardrobe doors together and it stays that way. They go on time out for misdemeanors including emptying drawers and toys all over (unless actually playing with toys).
They have to tidy up with me for less criminal messes too and we don't go anywhere or do anything until the room is tidy.
We have strict rules with certain persistant behaviours which mean time out with 2 warnings and EVERY time without fail.
Basically, we try to follow through with every threat of time out. Occasionally we fail, fits of giggles or bigger issues at hand etc.
I would do as Strix said, remove everything next time they do it and let them earn it back.
I'd also get rid of the tv from the room permanently, my kids only get tv when things are ok, they have no choices about wanting it on if the room is a heap (their playroom), they don't have one in the bedroom.
Mine are 2.5 and little minxes!

Hi hun,

I have no advice for you but send you all our love and thanks for the card for Rachel's birth.

They are so good whenever I have seen the twins, I think it is because they are scared of Matt ;0), I know it can get a bit too much though. Hope you get it sorted soon, we wouldn't like to see you go grey !!

I'm watching this thread closely after finding out that I'm expecting twins. :)

I can't help but it's great reading the advice given so thanks.

hi
Iv been to work today my mum has taken care of them and absolute angels! Theyve had there little nap minus the trashing of the room, can you believe it :o must be me they like to push to the limit. That or my mother must strap them to the bed :hihi:
I have not had the need to say anything to either of them this evening they have been quite good we shall see how tomorrow goes when im of work ! If im on here screaming :help: you'll know iv had a bad time.
Such joy but such hard work too.
Thanks all
Claire x

Thank you so much. I am as from tomorrow taking you up on your advice and speaking to the o/h too cos hes a sft touch. :)

I've got twins and I go for total measures straight away whenever I can. Empty room - no problem. I've tied the wardrobe doors together and it stays that way. They go on time out for misdemeanors including emptying drawers and toys all over (unless actually playing with toys).
They have to tidy up with me for less criminal messes too and we don't go anywhere or do anything until the room is tidy.
We have strict rules with certain persistant behaviours which mean time out with 2 warnings and EVERY time without fail.
Basically, we try to follow through with every threat of time out. Occasionally we fail, fits of giggles or bigger issues at hand etc.
I would do as Strix said, remove everything next time they do it and let them earn it back.
I'd also get rid of the tv from the room permanently, my kids only get tv when things are ok, they have no choices about wanting it on if the room is a heap (their playroom), they don't have one in the bedroom.
Mine are 2.5 and little minxes!

I only have the one (at the mo), but I have a couple of thoughts for you, aswell as wishing you good luck with them. Two's a handful, I do know.

Why do they behave worse with you? They will always treat you worse, because they absolutely trust you to keep loving them anyway, you are Mummy. Other people are a partly unknown quantity, so they will behave at least slightly better in case they are jettisoned for their bad behaviour, lol.

Do talk to your partner, whatever you decide to do in the way of discipline, you absolutely HAVE to be on the same page, doing the same things, or nothing will work.
Listen to Zebra, she's got a lot of experience and plenty more good sense.
And if you want back-up, I can heartily recommend Dr Green's Toddler Taming. In general I have an absolute loathing of these parenting books, but he knows what he's talking about, has two boys of his own which is how he's perfected his techniques, and even more importantly has a great sense of humour and a very realistic outlook. I keep a copy to run to when I just can't imagine what the next step could possibly be.

Thank you so much. I am as from tomorrow taking you up on your advice and speaking to the o/h too cos hes a sft touch. :)
Good luck and stick with it. if you're softies (and we are too at times) they will be used to more of an easy ride, it might take a couple of weeks to sort them out but once you do it will be worth it.
I can't say ours are perfect, far from it in fact, but we generally get a good response to time out and the warning system.
We work together too and both try to do the same things in response, talk to each other about rules or response to new behaviour and support each other when tested.
Go for it and weather it out in order to get a better response later :) Let us know how you get on.

I'm watching this thread closely after finding out that I'm expecting twins. :)

I can't help but it's great reading the advice given so thanks.
Congratulations and good luck. I always wanted twins, from age 13 or so so it was great news for me but there are days I could sell them on eBay for child labour :D
If you ever need a twin mum to talk to, let me know. I love them dearly but I know twins are hard work too, thankfully twice the laughs as well.
You know where to find me and you're welcome at Jellys prior to (and post) the twins arrival too :)
And of I know our regular members well, they'll all be very happy to play pass the baby and help out.