I am sad to be posting this subject up - but recently my lad started primary school and has returned home today with the second bumped head note.

He had been telling me about boys hitting him last week and I finally decided to speak to his teacher yesterday. I was told he can be a bit abrupt and the kids normally take it the wrong way.

This is the same teacher who told my now 20 year nephew that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and my step daughter - who was a bit loud. Both of whom suffered bullying at this school with no help from the school to stop it.

I was concerned that my lad would be bullied. He isn't the sharpest tool in the box and isn't as boystrous as most lads either.

Now I am MAD. I am also upset. I spent my entire school life fighting school bullies and the schools - sufferend cuts brusies and breaks. I don't want my son to have to go through the same thing.
He has photos tomorrow - something that will remind him of his first few weeks in school - two large and unsightly marks to his head.

Moon Maiden

I would report the school to your local Education Authority for not taking any action and also write to your MP.

Take it further... a lot further! No kids should be bullied at school, or anywhere!

Originally posted by Moon Maiden
I am sad to be posting this subject up - but recently my lad started primary school and has returned home today with the second bumped head note.

He had been telling me about boys hitting him last week and I finally decided to speak to his teacher yesterday. I was told he can be a bit abrupt and the kids normally take it the wrong way.

This is the same teacher who told my now 20 year nephew that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and my step daughter - who was a bit loud. Both of whom suffered bullying at this school with no help from the school to stop it.

I was concerned that my lad would be bullied. He isn't the sharpest tool in the box and isn't as boystrous as most lads either.

Now I am MAD. I am also upset. I spent my entire school life fighting school bullies and the schools - sufferend cuts brusies and breaks. I don't want my son to have to go through the same thing.
He has photos tomorrow - something that will remind him of his first few weeks in school - two large and unsightly marks to his head.

Moon Maiden

Moon you didn't say if the incidents were involving the same kids.
Keep a diary of incidents, ask to see the school's anti-bullying policy (don't be fobbed off, they have to have one) and keep in touch with school.

I went through similar experiences when my child started school and in the end it was me and not the bully who was made to look like the awkward party. Any headteacher worth his/her salt would not dismiss recurrent incidents so flippantly.

Watch it carefully Moon because if your son is being bullied it will get worse and worse if not nipped in the bud.

Spooky... I was thinking of starting a thread called bullying.

I'd turn up at school early to pick him up and let him point them out and walk up to the parents.

i went through a lot of bullying at school and i think you should be glad that your son told you what hes going through.
i think the best you can do is keep a diary of what has been happening, see the headteacher, and if all else fails, see the local educationl authority.

good luck
sammie

Hi Moon,

I'm so sorry for you and him that this is happening. Bullying is intolerable and frightening.

I agree with DB that you really need to keep going on this. Contact *anyone* and *everyone* who may be able to help... head teacher, school governors, LEA, your MP...

If you keep on and on then they may end up being embarrassed into acting so you'll just stop.

Also there's an organisation in this country set up to deal with school bullying. They offer advice and support and information. I think they are called Kidscape?? I'm sure an internet search would find them or similar organisations anyway.

It would probably be worth contacting them to see if they have any extra ideas.

Again, I'm sorry this is affecting you. Good luck, and let us know how you get on.

My advice is do something now. THe things we learn as a child are the things that are very very hard to remove later in life. If it were up to me I'd take a chainsaw to the bullies as I hate all form of bullying and have suffered it all my life, but it's not, however I recommend you don't let it drop until your son is happy at school.

It is difficult to get any sort of information out of my son - he isn't stupid but his words come out all jumbled up and it makes it very difficult to disifer what he is going on about.

But he has told me that there are two boys involved - the same names that have been cropping up for the last few weeks infact.

We have a meeting with the headteacher this morning and I am writing a letter too.

I don't intend to let it drop - like a dog with a bone :D :evil:

Thank you all for your comments - it got me down last night. But I don't tend to stay down for long.

*sloppily hugs room*
Moon Maiden

I'd like to know exactly what goes off in a Primary school because it certainly isn't teaching.

We have just had an intake of new pupils at my school and the majority of them lack basic spelling skills and some have trouble remembering their own name, never mind their form or computer access passwords.

Moon how old is your son, if you don't mind me asking?

my son is 4 - 5 in few weeks

Moon Maiden

Ever thought about some form of self defence class?

What happened at the Meeting Moon ???

Okay here is today's update.

We met the headteacher this morning after dropping off my lad in class. The headteacher was ready for us as my sons class teacher had felt we may come to speak to the head.

It was all very pleasant. No blame was laid we just all wished to know what was going on.

The head suggested that a dinner lady was asked to watch where my son was and to see what was happening. Also that his class teacher take notice of what was happening in the playground at other break times.

There is aparently a known problem involving three boys from my sons class (including my son) and two boys from the other receptions class. It seem there is a bit of friction between the two groups and they all have to be split up at lining up time so as to avoid fights.

We also talked about my sons communication. There are times when he can talk to you no problems and you can understand completely what he is getting at - there are other times; most of the time, where he will try to talk to you and nothing really comes out. He gets confused and jumbled up and cannot say what he wants to.

So we talked about how that may be affecting the kids reaction to him and have set up some support to solve that problem and eliminate that.
The headteachers words were
"I do not want to see him suffer because he is having difficulty communicating with the other children. It can happen all to easily and quickly turn into something nasty."

I am relieved that the school has not barred my way. I am relieved that they are prepared and as eager as me to see what is happening and to resolve any problems there.

We brought up the subject of the two relatives who were previously bullied in the school - the head was at the school when my step daughter was so knew about that one.

All in all a very productive conversation. If he is being bullied I will see it through and sort it out, if he is dong the bullying then I will sort HIM out. If it is just over enthusiastic play then they all need a good talking to (heads words nto mine).

DB for self defence classes - he hasn't got the concentration span to last that long in one place!!

Moon Maiden

My daughter had a few probs when we moved here from the sarf, she has a shocking american accent (too much tv) and a couple of kids took offence - he got quite violent actually (as under 6's are) to the point where we saw the headmaster. He reckoned it was socialising...socialising? I suggested to him that it stopped else I'd be doing my own socialising....it got worse and in the end I confronted the parents and a few blows later it was sorted - the kids leave my daughter alone and their parents avoid me..

If the school are unwilling to help ,then what else can you do....

My daughter is now doing karate and loving it...

I got bullied at school as well for being disabled... and the teachers were no help, as far as they were concerned it was open season on me...

WTF?! This was wrong even by late 70s/early 80s standards. this system of bullying continued right into early teens when I was old enough and strong enough to fight back, and fight I did, unfortunately though instead of the bullies being punished for starting it in the first place, it was always me who got done for fighting! I mean what the hell?! If the stupid little ****s hadn't been bullying me there would never have BEEN any fighting, duh!

Nowadays I get bullied on the internet, and those of you who have seen my thread about asperger's will probably know why, but just because:

A) I have a disability
B) I live further North than Luton
C) I still live at home even though I'm in my late 20s due to point A
D) I have differring tastes in video games to everybody else.

Does not mean I should accept being bullied for being different, so the likes of Fred D Monkey on the official xbox magazine forum can go **** themselves as far as I'm concerned.

After all the media attention that bullying has been getting recently you would expect schools to do more.

I do get the impression that some schools take the attitude that if they ignore the problem it will stop mainly because it damages the school and the headteachers reputations if accusations are made.

I seem to think that you guys are forgetting we are talking about children. As a teacher and a parent of a bully (yes i am ashamed) I wish I could just sort HER out. Both bullies and their victims have issues that need to be dealt with. This needs the school and parents working together. I took my daugter to school and sat with the parents and child that she was bullying and watched an anti-bulling video (all school heads have them), we talked about why she did it, how she felt and how the victim felt. She has very low self-esteem and in the short term bullying gave her credability. I am not trying to excuse her behaviour only tackle it and help her. We need to work together not be aggressive, children learn by example. I do understand your gut reaction but we are the adults and should aid these children (both bullies and those being bullied) to overcome these hurdles in life. Speech over!

Gillie

I just want to say how much I admire you for doing what you have done for your daughter and for coming in here and telling us

All power to your elbow and I hope you can make everything okay again with those various chlidren

You are obviously very caring and I for one salute you for taking it seriously, even if you cant be all self-righteous, and for doing your best

I think you are a woman to be celebrated, if more parents were like you things would be very different

IMO

Louise
x

Originally posted by jayjay03
After all the media attention that bullying has been getting recently you would expect schools to do more.

I do get the impression that some schools take the attitude that if they ignore the problem it will stop mainly because it damages the school and the headteachers reputations if accusations are made.

Not all schools. The staff at our school are extemelly vigilant. If we catch any instance of bullying, no matter how insignificant or extreme, we jump on it.

Our school is lucky enough to be one of the country's leading High Schools and as a result we are extremely oversubscribed. We get parents moving from all over to try and get in our catchment area, which in turn has caused house prices to rocket. If the pupil does wrong, we have plenty of others waiting to take their place and the parents know this.

I did say some schools.

There is no doubt in my mind that a lot of schools have good measures in place to counteract the bullying syndrome.

But there are also schools that do not, it is unfortuante that we here only of the schools where bullying is a problem and not the ones that tackle the problems head-on.

But then again, we are talking about the British 'Bad News' Media!!!

My step daughter as I have mentioned was and still is bullied - however she was once a bully.
Nos helped me to calm down when I was ready for knocking the headteachers head in being that the last time he went storming in - it turned out his daughter was doing the bullying not the other way round.

I remember at school there were a couple of kids who had been tormented to the point where they lashed out verbally and phsycially at anyone and everyone.

It has and still does cross my mind that in my sons desire to be understood he is getting agressive, but until I speak to the teacher and other people I will not know what is happening.

Things seem to be okay this week and one of the boys he keeps mentioning has invited him to his birthday party. Hopefully settling in probs.

Moon

We are sick in this country because we justify the bully rather than protect the person being harassed.