This is my attempt at the unreliable narrator. It feels a little clumsy so any comments are very welcome.

Stuff. (http://sheffieldwriters.ath.cx/SFStoryArchive/1209241617.doc)

Oh, Scotty, you really know how to pull heartstrings, don't you!

Under that thin, cute, sweet sheen was something so terribly sad it brought tears to my eyes.

Very, very good indeed. I take my hat off to you.

Reality can be a bitch.
That was an excellent interpretation of this month theme, we get lost in reading and writing our little stories, but then someone brings us back to reality.
Great stuff Scotty.

Oh, that is so sad. A really touching story. I think I can see why you might consider it clumsy, Scotty, but I actually found the style completely appropriate. It reflects perfectly the helpless innocence of the "narrator" who sadly misinterprets what's going to happen to him.

Most of the translating I do relates to situations like this and it can be harrowing at times. I think you've handled it sensitively and have managed very well to get inside the mind of your character.

Well done!

I found it quite serious and disturbing first time through. But reading again tonight I laughed all the way through (well until the box bit anyway). Did you intend for IT to have a sense of humour or am laughing at IT? :confused:

Succinct and powerful interpretation of the theme, Scotty.

Hello Rb. I just read it again myself and it still feels really clumsy and I understand how you could find it funny in places. Misunderstanding is funny "going to rob" for eg. The character was very limiting as It's understanding is limited to sound taste and motion. I had to create a positive character to ensure that the reality understood by the reader was in stark contrast to the understanding of It. The other names were just taken from an argument or repetitive outburst that could be misunderstood. Crying can easily be mistaken for laughing which feeds the positive nature of It.

Laughing/crying is fine.

Many thanks to everyone else who commented.