Every morning for the past few weeks ourselves and our neighbours get woke up at 3.30am with a bloody bird with the biggest, loudest gob you have ever heard!

It penetrates the double glazing! The other morning it had its mates round - it was like having the bird equivalent of G4 in concert outside our window!

What is the life expectancy of birds! We have plenty of cats on the estate but none have eaten it yet - I don't think I can wait for its natural demise.

Anyone got any humane suggestions how to get rid of this bird - infact b****ks i will accept in-humane suggestions too!

WE NEED SLEEP!!!

i have a 2"2 pellet gun if you wanna lend it or i'll shoot for ya if you want..no probs:thumbsup:

Tempting - very tempting. Not sure a certain neighbour of mine would be too happy, bit of a nature fan, you know what I mean!

The HIT would have to be discreetly done with you dressed like a ninja which is impossible on an estate when the offender sits perched on a roof in full view!

Chances are you could misfire and shoot my neighbours bits off since their bedroom window is below the bird!

In fact, thats probably why the bird sits there thinking he can see a worm!

I know of people putting ornamental cats in their gardens - one relative of mine has a black cat with shiny eyes which is, apparently very convincing. No birds have since been in his garden and his veg can grow in peace.

Unfortunately we have quite a few real cats on the estate and these don't seem to worry this bird.

It wouldn't be so bad but it is really loud!

It starts at 3.30 for about half an hour then stops and starts again about 5.00.

Between that and the 21 bum salute from my partner every morning, I'm at the end of my tether!!!

What sort of bird is it? And what sort of noise? If it's a magpie most cats won't tackle them because they have been known to give the cat a nasty peck that quickly deters them.

I know exactly what you mean though we used to have that problem with some doves that had a nest nearby every flipping morning. My best suggestion would be get some earplugs from the chemist - worked for me:thumbsup: can't help with the 21 bum salute though:hihi: apart from suggesting a peg and offering sympathy.:D

It looks like a blackbird but seems a bit small. Probably because it never shuts up to eat!

It has an orange beak! The so called song is like a cross between Sarah Brightman and Mariah Carey after a bad night out on the tiles!

I once thought of getting a dangerous animal in my garden to keep the local druggies using my garden as a shortcut but then realised hanging my washing out would only cause problems for myself!

Would an ornamental fox or an owl do the job?

Bet an eagle would.:hihi:

aww bless the little birdy - leave it alone!! It's happy cos its Spring and the weather is gettin warmer! He has as much right to be on the planet and make a noise as the rest of us do!!:clap:

I suppose if I lobbed an ornamental fox at it that might work!

Tell you what Msbehavin if I can catch it - I will gladly let you have it to serenade you every morning so you can be at one with nature!

Believe me, after a few sleepless mornings you also will be ready to wring the bloody things neck!

Dawn if it has an orange beak and looks like a blackbird it probably is a blackbird - I don't know of any others that look like that. Yes they are quite loud not much you can do really but look at it this why at least it's not sitting in your guttering like the dove was in ours - then the noise is megaphone loud!

<---sings

Feeeed the birrrrds tuppence a bag
Tuppence tuppence tuppence a bag.....;)

Apologies to Walt Disney:help:

Originally posted by dawny1
Unfortunately we have quite a few real cats on the estate and these don't seem to worry this bird.

It wouldn't be so bad but it is really loud!

It starts at 3.30 for about half an hour then stops and starts again about 5.00.

Between that and the 21 bum salute from my partner every morning, I'm at the end of my tether!!!

It could be the local cats that are causing it to sound off. If it's a chatter, it's a warning call. When they sing they're quite melodious. We get this every year!!

There's a noisy bird in your neighbourhood.... who ya gonna call ?

BIRD BUSTERS !

http://www.birdbusters.com/

Ain't the net great ?! :P :thumbsup:

The Propane cannon looks a bit violent. Dont insert the bird into it !

http://www.birdbusters.com/scare_bird_canon.html

This must be the ultimate though :

"A new technique for starling bird control and grackle problems that has found some success is fogging with methyl anthranilate, a grape extract that reacts with the birds olfactory sense like pepper spray. This is a technique that should be undertaken by experienced professionals only."

Thanks rtapper but there is no way I am going to spend money on the little s**t!

Thanks too Saxon51 it just keeps getting better - I only thought i had to get rid of an annoying bird but now half a dozen cats too!

I think the only option could be to move house at this rate!

Earplugs out of the question then?

I have found that a hunting catapult firing either mint imperials or aniseed balls is ideal. Consider it an enviromentally friendly biodegradeable weapon. I have chronographed aniseed balls and they can top 200mph :D Mint imperials are good for rough shooting but lack the velocity and and accuracy of aniseed balls. I class mint imperials as more of a scarer whereas the aniseed ball is more of a precision tool. Also due to their ovalised form, mint imperials have a tendency veer violently of course.Whereas aniseed balls with their flatter trajectory seem many times more accurate. Also mint imperials are white and attract unwanted attention whereas aniseed balls are more stealthy due to their dark red colour. If this fails then get up early and feed them with bread covered in deep heat cream. OK so I have way to much time on my hands.

scarey AJ, very scarey!:o

Best thing is, if the neighbours report you to the police you can always say your just speed feeding them. The catapult/confectionery combo is also great for use against nuisance cats and is without a doubt more fun than any X-box or PS2 game.

Earplugs not option wyrdfish cos of wandering 3yr old.

AJ - firing sweets brilliant, pure genius but again could misfire and have neighbours eye out or shoot it else where as he is running around his bedroom naked!

Not that I look or anything!

There my be good news because I didn't hear it this morning.

I don't know if I was just too knackered and slept through it or if it heard about the possible contract out on it from Kirky!

We will see what happens tomorrow morning!

Yeah admittedly Dawny misfires can be a danger as these things can travel hundreds of yards but at that time in the morning you will be ok. You could decrease the distance and increase the kinetic energy by using big bore monsters like cherry balsams.

Can you imagine if a misfire did go somewhere embarrasing - how would that be explained at the casualty department!!!

Infact - that could be an interesting thread - strange things found in human orifices!

Unfortunately only doctors and nurses would know.

Originally posted by dawny1
Can you imagine if a misfire did go somewhere embarrasing - how would that be explained at the casualty department!!!



Mmmm! Aniseed balls anyone?:gag:

dawny1: realise this is a serious thread but have to say the mint imperial idea/injuries to humans orafices.... very funny...made me laugh anyway.

what about buying your three year old a super duper water 'pump action' water pistol and with even a very dodgey aim you should be able to put the little blighter off for a while. you might even enjoy it....

and if you miss your neighbour will have endured a free colonic irrigation.....mmmmmm nice!!!

good luck :P

Leave the birds alone. They were here long before us, and they'll be here long after we see our own pathetic demise.

Feed them, encourage them, take delight in their activities..



http://www.rotherham.towntalk.co.uk/events/eventdetails.php?id=45
http://www.rotherham.towntalk.co.uk/events/eventdetails.php?id=46
http://www.rotherham.towntalk.co.uk/events/eventdetails.php?id=47
http://www.rotherham.towntalk.co.uk/events/eventdetails.php?id=50


However I condone Killing the magpies :thumbsup:

but a cheap lazer torch,a couple of blasts should make it think about moving on and its harmless

Oh I'm sorry but this thread hasn't half made me giggle! Sorry for your lack of sleep Dawny and I don't see where I can help but I had to at least give credit for the...

"In fact, thats probably why the bird sits there thinking he can see a worm!"

...comment!!! LOL!!! I think this thread is great! I'll never look at a blackbird in the same way again! let alone little wigglies:o :D

Well folks - it was at it again - up at the crack of Dawn - rephrase -I mean the bird was singing at the crack of Dawn!

However I put that it doesn't sound right!

The 21 bum salute also ignited this morning!!!

The laser pen depoix - yes, got one will try that tonight!

Glad youre enjoying this thread kblade - nice to think some good is coming out of my eternal insomnia!

:clap: Go birdies! Go birdies! :clap: :heyhey:

Originally posted by dawny1
Every morning for the past few weeks ourselves and our neighbours get woke up at 3.30am with a bloody bird with the biggest, loudest gob you have ever heard!


Does it sound like the recording on here dawny?

http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/~bmscg/turdus.htm

Unfortunately no - that I could put up with and yes it was at it again this morning!

It grates on you, it is quite tuneful but its the volume, it is the Town Cryer of Birds!!!

:( :( :(

Dawny, don't blame the bird, it is us humans who are confusing the poor things with light pollution. We have street lights on all night and the birds think it's coming daybreak so start their calling.

Lay back and think how much better it is to hear the birds than to be deaf.


And if that doesn't work shoot the bugga's ;)

If I was deaf that would solve the problem of the bird but my other senses would be more intense and therefore the 21 Bum Salute would be even more intolerable!

I rather prefer my hearing then to have to endure an even more pungent early morning aroma.:gag:

Lets face it I am not a morning person regardless of my name!

Find out where these birds live and wait until midnight and stand outside their nest blowing a flute. If they have any washing hung out, cr*p on it.

And how was my ickle feathery friend this morning Dawny?? In fine fettle after dodging the aniseed balls? In good voice I hope! :heyhey:

PS - if it makes you feel any better I was woken by the binmen this morning...well, not personally you understand, just outside rattling their lorry so we all know they are up and working lol:rolleyes:

Don't try this at home folks! But isn't something like sodium bread supposed to work on getting rid of birds? ;)

I've heard it works on seagulls... :D

Morning oh followers of my plight.

I must remember to take the laser pen to bed with me tonight as has been suggested - I keep forgetting.

I feel confident that this will work but I must becareful not to burn its eyes out cos then it will stay on the roof forever!
:heyhey:

I will let you know what happens tomorrow!

I really didn't think birds lived this long! Oh and sooo sorry to hear of your disturbed sleep Msbehavin! :hihi:

But at least the Bin Men are earning a crust and not just waiting for one to be lobbed at them!

Go Bin Men Go Bin Men!!!!

Relax, Dawny1, relax - Lord Snooty is here to assist. At Toffingham Hall there are no end of birds causing a nuisance hither, thither and er, hither. However, over the years I have developed a fool-proof, two-step approach. Step 1 - drink a bottle of sherry, then load up the blunderbuss with rocksalt (or aniseed balls). Treat yourself to a gentle stroll outside, acting all nonchalant. While the bird isn't looking, take aim in it's general direction and fire. Then return to the cocktail lounge for a celebratory line of mint cracknell and a G&T. If Step 1 fails, proceed to Step 2 - creep along to where the bird is perching, then, using all your powers of persuasion, talk it into spontaneous combustion (in case this fails, take along some lighter fuel and at least one match). Top hole!

From your description, it seems to be blackbird. I'll swap you for the magpie that announces the dawn outside my window.

If you use midget gems instead of aniseed balls it should just stun it rather than kill it. When it falls off the roof you can send it to Kirky for his dogs dinner. I don't think he has managed to get any wild rabbits yet!

This is all that you need Dawny

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/55/

Thankyou Depoix peace at last!!! :clap:

This morning the bird was dutifully laser penned. Was careful not to melt the eyes but after looking somewhat puzzled at a strange red light, the bird vacated the premises after only one chorus!!!

Could this be the end?

I think after a few mornings of laser surgery it will get the message and be wrinkle free too!

Pity the laser technique will not solve the 21 Bum Salute :gag:

Dawny, what if you caught it's eye with the laser? the poor thing will now be blinded! you should wake up in the morning just to see if it's alright. Can you let us know :P

Don't worry Owdlad I saw it fly away and it didn't hit any trees but if it is sat on the roof wearing dark glasses tomorrow singing Stevie Wonder I will let you know! :hihi:

I generally find that using Light Ampilfication by the Stimulated Emission of Radiation a none event as far as permenant removal of birds is concerned, therefore I would view your victory as a temporary one. You would have been more succesful had you found a dead bird and hung it by the neck in the vicinity of the offending birds serenade area. Would you go and play the flute outside someones house if one of your mates was hung from a lampost. Either that or fall back on the slingshot/confectionery projectile combo.

if i come up to view the car tomorra shall i bring my gun?

Sent you PM Kirky about car.

AJ I really do hope you are wrong and the bird will get the message otherwise it will be a trip out for a bag of Pick & Mix!

Yes AJ you were right - my victory did not last.

I fired the laser pen again this morning but he came back and hid on the opposite side of roof avoiding the line of fire!!!

This means war!!! :rant:

Surely it must be nearing the end of its natural soon!!

and the minute you get rid of this birdie, another will come in it's place!! LOL. Gotaa give a big high five for the birdies of Sheffield!!!:clap: