I got on the tram yesterday and there were men and children seated, women who got on the tram at later stops were stood up.

Is this appropriate or is it womens own doings for wanting equality.

What's wrong with that?

I would never expect a bloke to stand up so I could sit down!

I always offer my seat to old men and women, and pregnant women, and maybe someone with a very young child.

Beckyaa is right - if someone needs my seat I give it to them, regardless of their gender. It is flattering when men offer you a seat but I normally politely refuse.

I'll give up my seat to pregnant women, old men and women and people carrying babies or with toddlers.

If anyone male or female offers me his/her seat, I'll take it with grateful thanks and a smile ... why refuse a kind gesture and make them feel foolish? :)

edit - forgot to add, children each taking up a seat annoys me though when adults are standing ... having endured years of being shoved in the corner by my mother with my nose pressed up against the window, so another adult could sit down. They could at least share a seat - they don't know they're born kids today, muhahaha ... :rolleyes:

I'd give up my seat to 'very' old men and women, heavily pregnant women, disabled (both sexes), men or women carrying babies in equal measure. Equality is here at last.

Otherwise it's first come first served.

I give up my seat to old men/ women, disabled men/ women and pregnant women or women with little kids.

Not that I use public transport that often these days but it is something that I always been brought up to do, same as opening doors and throwing your coat over a puddle. ;)

I'd give up my seat to 'very' old men and women, heavily pregnant women, disabled (both sexes), men or women carrying babies in equal measure. Equality is here at last.
Yeah, same here :thumbsup:

If she's old or fit I give mine up.

Here, here....olduns, one in the oven, with kids or the missus...other than that no chance...you girls want girl power, then use it properly and get on the bus/tram before me....at the end of the day us guys are heavier anyway so should have the priority over you burdz...lol

Just kiddin, I aint sexist...just think that men were idiots for ever giving you equal rights....

I'm the boss in my house....I can tell you that cos my missus said I could...!!

Originally posted by J-Blaze
If she's old or fit I give mine up.

Doesn't this post belong in the 'worst chat up lines' thread? :D

K x

I only give up my seat for people that need it, regardless of sex.

If I had kids I'd make them give up their seat :P

Originally posted by Kristian
Doesn't this post belong in the 'worst chat up lines' thread? :D

Could be worse, could've been old AND fit ;)

lol, real men.....

Originally posted by beckyaa

I always offer my seat to old men and women, and pregnant women, and maybe someone with a very young child.

I'll just say ditto!

:rolleyes: :cool:

I always offer my seat to women irrespective of age, and also to men who might appreciate sitting down.

It was how I was bought up by my mum!

:)

I usually give my seat for the elderly....

Originally posted by Starman
I usually give my seat for the elderly....
To not for

I will almost always give up my seat if I see an elderly person, or a mom with young children (I've been there and done that!)

I haven't really needed to depend on public transportation in years. But I found on a recent trip to the east coast, that the riders on the Washington DC Metro:

http://www.wmata.com/

were much more polite than people on buses or BART in California! I saw quite a few people offering their seats to those more in need.

The worst offenders IMO? Some teenage boys. Once they had their behinds planted in a seat, I think only setting fire to it would have got them out of it! Most were in desperate need of a hearty slap upside the head.


:) Sierra

I was brought up to offer my seat to any older citizens.

As a young child, my definition of older was anyone above 20 years old.

Now that I am approaching my 30s, my definition of older is now anyone over 40... :D

Originally posted by JoePritchard
I always offer my seat to women irrespective of age, and also to men who might appreciate sitting down.

It was how I was bought up by my mum!

:)

and you never decided to reevaluate this in light of sexual equality?

women (with the pregnant exception) are no more in need or deserving of a seat than men.

Originally posted by JoePritchard
I always offer my seat to women irrespective of age, and also to men who might appreciate sitting down.

It was how I was bought up by my mum!

:)

Very patronising. ;) It's like I tell the missus... you either want equality or you don't!

How many women do you know that are outraged when they hear in the news that on average men still get paid more than women but are still quite happy to keep alive traditions such as the man paying when going out!

Can't have it both ways... let 'em stand!

I like it. Single men shouldn't read anything into it though. It's just nice, like holding the door open for the next one instead of it flying in your face.

Happened to me, then he got off at the next stop shortly after. No chat up. So what's the big deal. It really cheered me up, and when I was least expecting it, it made me think not all men are a lost cause.

Also how do you tell when someone is pregnant in the early stages, and feeling sick all the time, or faint.

I could tell though one occasion when I saw a young lad coming from the top of the bus (which I really don't use anymore, but would if men regularly gave up their seats!! lol), he looked very odd - faint, and he collapsed on the lower deck floor, he was epilleptic. If I hadn't been near the back of the bus, I'd have helped him before the others infront.

There are some things still which are a man - woman thing, not a woman - man thing. As they are a young - old thing. I've also held the door open for a man to come through - once. Just being polite.

I can't tell you what a relief it was when I went babe in arms, and an older man took the pram off me when I was getting onto a bus a few years back, and put it in the rack, then another helped me to get off again.

Another thing, anyone agree men don't have half the problems we have... dig dig !

I only stand-up for pregnant women or old people, everyone else can stand.

Originally posted by island3rlara
Also how do you tell when someone is pregnant in the early stages, and feeling sick all the time, or faint.[/B]

The same ways as you tell when a man is unwell and feeling sick.

I agree with you about holding doors open. It only gets on my nerves when people don't say thank you and/or walk straight through expecting you to keep holding the door for the next person!!!

Originally posted by island3rlara
Another thing, anyone agree men don't have half the problems we have... dig dig !

Yes, women have more mental health problems then men. ;)

i hold the door open for people, men and women, and expect to find the same courtesy extended to me by both sexes on occaision. It's not really comparable to giving up a seat though, by holding a door open I'm not inconvenienced apart from a slight delay.
If you believe that a man is a lost cause by not offering up his seat, do you think the same about women who don't get up for you?

Fair enough, you might not identify that someone is in the early stages, but equally how do you as a woman identify when a man is feeling faint or nauseous for whatever reason? If you can't then you are just as guilty of not giving up a seat to a potentially more needy person. To be fair though, the instances of both these examples will be rare.
I'm not sure what you're getting at with the 'man - woman' / 'woman - man' thing, is there a difference?

Originally posted by island3rlara
I like it. Single men shouldn't read anything into it though. It's just nice, like holding the door open for the next one instead of it flying in your face.

Happened to me, then he got off at the next stop shortly after. No chat up. So what's the big deal. It really cheered me up, and when I was least expecting it, it made me think not all men are a lost cause.

Also how do you tell when someone is pregnant in the early stages, and feeling sick all the time, or faint.

I could tell though one occasion when I saw a young lad coming from the top of the bus (which I really don't use anymore, but would if men regularly gave up their seats!! lol), he looked very odd - faint, and he collapsed on the lower deck floor, he was epilleptic. If I hadn't been near the back of the bus, I'd have helped him before the others infront.

There are some things still which are a man - woman thing, not a woman - man thing. As they are a young - old thing. I've also held the door open for a man to come through - once. Just being polite.

I can't tell you what a relief it was when I went babe in arms, and an older man took the pram off me when I was getting onto a bus a few years back, and put it in the rack, then another helped me to get off again.

Another thing, anyone agree men don't have half the problems we have... dig dig !

To address the subject as a sex equality matter I think is unecessary. I just think it's nice if they do.

I don't think that men who don't offer up their seat are for that reason a lost cause - it was just a feeling I got for personal reasons at the time it happened to me, so that needs to be kept in context.

If I had felt patronised about it I wouldn't have accepted. I would've felt pretty stupid after knowing that he was only giving up his seat because he was getting off. It was just a politeness thing not a necessity, not even a man to woman thing.

If you don't think there's a man - woman thing at all then fine, but I think there still is, whether we like it or not, admit it or not.
They're less defined than in the past, but there's still an echo -why else the point has been raised in the first place. There are places men don't expect a woman to turn up. I once had a conversation with a man who said they'd put the baby room in the ladies and that's unacceptable too.

I'm one of the most independent women I know so I can seriously take or leave it, but it's just labouring a point sometimes not to just accept something when someone offers you something no strings, not the rule. The sentiment is good.

in that case I agree, but that could equally apply no matter what the sexes involved. Although to be fair if someone offered me a seat on a busy bus/tram etc... I'd probably think it was a pretty odd thing to do.

It wasn't that i don't think there's a m-w thing, I just didn't understand the distinction between a m-w thing and a w-m thing.

There are places I don't expect women to turn up, the mens toilet being the first that comes to mind, anywhere is fair game though.

Originally posted by IanMitchell
I only give up my seat for people that need it, regardless of sex.

blimey if i decide who or who not to give my seat up to, sex doesn't come into the equation at all for me :D

If I actually notice them (I've normally got my head in a book) then I'll offer the elderly, the disabled and pregnant women my seat. Everyone else can stand, I was there first so...... ner ner ner ner ner ner!

People should always hold the door open for others rather than let it slam in their face regardless of sex.I offer my seat to really old people,pregnant women or people who just look like they need it,ill etc regardless of gender.If a guy offered me a seat then i would politely refuse unless i was struggling with bags,feeling ill etc.As for paying in restaurants like someone mentioned,i either go dutch or take it in turns to pay the bill, unless i'm being treated or treating someone else.Equality of the sexes is always brought down to these petty arguments about doors and bills when it's much more important than that.Equality of the sexes is getting better but its still got a little way to go as can be seen by the existence of this thread,unfortunately in some countries it's not even started.

Originally posted by Zamo
Very patronising. ;) It's like I tell the missus... you either want equality or you don't!

How many women do you know that are outraged when they hear in the news that on average men still get paid more than women but are still quite happy to keep alive traditions such as the man paying when going out!

Can't have it both ways... let 'em stand!

i agree entirely

I will stand for pregnant women, or someone struggling with a small child. If im sat at the front of the bus then i will stand for old people because the way i see it is that the front is for them and if i didn't i would get all the people behind me whispering that i should have stood up (which i hate). If however i am sat near the back i will not stand unless they look really old or have a walking stick,etc. But for some reason i have a natural dislike for old people (except my gran and pappy) so when i do stand i dont feel like i have done something nice, i just feel stupid for conforming to how we should act for elderly people. I am not being rude as i am a very polite person, old people just get away with too much in my books.

I know my bus to work is never full so everyone always has a seat.

Trains and trams are another matter. For some reason I have the habit of standing near the doors regardless of whether the tram is full or nearly empty (unless i'm travelling with company).

I haven't really thought about why... maybe it's a way I avoid the moral dilema of whether I should have given up my seat or not? Or to avoid analysing whether I gave my seat up to help someone out or for personal gain?

Dang... I think too much!

I offer my seat to old people, the disabled and to women. However, in the latter case, if the woman is ugly [according to classical Western standards], poor or wearing culottes she must stand.

I seldom use public transport, but recently derived great pleasure from denying a scowling, gimlet-eyed Chavess a seat. It was wonderful to observe the ferocious indignation, hostile non-verbal communication and general discomfort of the Kappa-clad Venus, struggling to prevent her Aldi bag from bursting.

I tend to agree with Miss Rabbit about some older people. The really problematic, cursing , dribbling ones in their 80s and 90s should be encouraged to stay in their bedrooms. They are a terrible inconvenience for the rest of us, and expect a seat at all times. A sharp scraping with one's shoe heel down a pensioner's emaciated shin, or a heavy elbow ['Empi' in Karate] blow to their weak, vulnerable ribs usually reminds the feral old that they can expect no quarter on the modern omnibus. Better opportunities are afforded when snow is on the ground, as the elderly can be more easily caught off balance and sent shrieking to the floor, breaking their hips so easily in the bus queue. We have to be tough with these menaces. So what if they died in the last war for us?

Originally posted by timo
We have to be tough with these menaces. So what if they died in the last war for us?

Are these the feral undead elderly?

Very good, Cyclone. You know, I am beginning to like you...

Originally posted by timo
I tend to agree with Miss Rabbit about some older people. The really problematic, cursing , dribbling ones in their 80s and 90s should be encouraged to stay in their bedrooms. They are a terrible inconvenience for the rest of us, and expect a seat at all times. A sharp scraping with one's shoe heel down a pensioner's emaciated shin, or a heavy elbow ['Empi' in Karate] blow to their weak, vulnerable ribs usually reminds the feral old that they can expect no quarter on the modern omnibus. Better opportunities are afforded when snow is on the ground, as the elderly can be more easily caught off balance and sent shrieking to the floor, breaking their hips so easily in the bus queue.

Sir, if I may...

If the sight of all those dribbling old people offends you, then why do you live in Southport?

Southport is notorious in the North-West of England for being full of old people, care homes and shoe shops; it's the place where old people go to die.

Many thanks

Abdul

My dear Abdul,
It may well be true that one of my houses is in Southport. However, my "missee nicetime", female Filipino servants, the clean air, and abundance of quality golf courses tend to compensate for the huge numbers of pensioners one encounters, dead, dying, indeed in every conceivable position of distress on Lord Street and nearby boulevards. Additionally, the town is near enough to Liverpool, where I do so much of my good work, and yet far enough away to provide refuge from, shall we say, the 'hustle bustle' of Liverpool with its rough and tough dockers, and groups of wandering, unwanted , angry young playwrights.

Regards.

I stand also for pregnant women and the elderly who obviously need to sit down.

There are some things that annoy me very much on buses and trams.
1) When children do not stand up for old people. I was brought up to believe that children should always offer their seat to an elderly person. What is worst are scholl classes on trams. I once asked a teacher why the kids didn't stand up for the old biddies standing. The answer invloved something about insurance reasons. Hmm.
2) People who will always sit on an aisle seat when the window seat next to them is empty and do not budge up when the bus/tram is full. Even worse is when they put all their (yes, invariably Aldi) bags on the seat beside them. Shoot them all!

Originally posted by timo
My dear Abdul,
It may well be true that one of my houses is in Southport. However, my "missee nicetime", female Filipino servants, the clean air, and abundance of quality golf courses tend to compensate for the huge numbers of pensioners one encounters, dead, dying, indeed in every conceivable position of distress on Lord Street and nearby boulevards. Additionally, the town is near enough to Liverpool, where I do so much of my good work, and yet far enough away to provide refuge from, shall we say, the 'hustle bustle' of Liverpool with its rough and tough dockers, and groups of wandering, unwanted , angry young playwrights.

Regards.


Southport mat well be a pleasant place in Winter; those winds coming in off the Irish Sea must make a positive contribution to population control by killing off thousands of Liverpools' chavs.

But how do Southport residents survive the summer months, when literally tens of thousands of young Liverpudlians, propelled by a combination of cheap booze and testosterone, descend on your quiet town to partake in its dirty little secret - the worst funfair in the North of England?

Respectfully yours

Originally posted by Abdul
Southport mat well be a pleasant place in Winter; those winds coming in off the Irish Sea must make a positive contribution to population control by killing off thousands of Liverpools' chavs.

But how do Southport residents survive the summer months, when literally tens of thousands of young Liverpudlians, propelled by a combination of cheap booze and testosterone, descend on your quiet town to partake in its dirty little secret - the worst funfair in the North of England?

Respectfully yours


Ewww, Southport fair. Nasty little place!

I don't think gender is an issue, when deciding to give up my seat or not, things like 'are they pregnant' or otherwise in need of my seat, are.

Originally posted by Cyclone
Are these the feral undead elderly?

No, just the ones that got their brains shot out in the War ....

StarSparkle :o

Abdul,
Yes, I have to agree there. The funfair [not that a Philosopher-King such as I would debase himself by indulging in the rakehelly mayhem that goes on there] is indeed the poorest in Europe.

As dear Andy 78 knows only too well, the good gentlemen of Liverpool do not enjoy a warm welcome in the town. In summer, as you say, the hobbledehoys, cut-purses and poteen-crazed Diddecoys of Bootle, Litherland and Kirkby descend upon the fair town in huge numbers. Closed to them are the doors of many of the hotels, watchful, suspicious treatment awaits them in the shops and pubs, and their quaint accent [rural Irish tempered by echoes of pre Indo-European speech] mocked and reviled at every turn.

They come in search of food, shelter and temporary employment, these 'Mattys', 'Dessies' and 'Loggos', like the remnants of a fossil people forced out of a remote enclave, confronting 'civilisation' in bewilderment. I try to provide some Christian comfort for a few, allowing [last summer] a family of seven from Litherland to sleep in my barn. "Ah hey, Squire Timo, yev a 'eart a gowld", said the father [16], through his ill-fitting dentures. The little Scouse children can be employed in the fields, cabbage picking all day , with a Twix Bar and a bottle of Panda Pop between them for sustenance. The ladies are often most grateful for my kindness, entertaining me with their interesting variations on 'Blow Football'.

Ah yes, Abdul, Southport is a lovely town for a Sheffield ex-pat.

Originally posted by fhain29



1) When children do not stand up for old people. I was brought up to believe that children should always offer their seat to an elderly person. What is worst are scholl classes on trams. I once asked a teacher why the kids didn't stand up for the old biddies standing. The answer invloved something about insurance reasons. Hmm.


This is true, and that is why the teachers will probably give up their seats whilst the kids sit down. Imagine little Algernon falling on the bus/tram and his parents claiming off the school for not looking after their child. We can only order our OWN kids to stand, not other people's. And if a school kid offers up his/her seat whilst on a school trip the teacher will tell them to sit down again. Neither the staff nor the kids have any choice in this, it's the law.

And remember, the old biddies could probably wait for the next bus....the kids, however have to be somewhere at a given time - together - and cannot set of earlier or later.

Taking 30+ kids on public transport is hard enough without Ma Kettle giving you a hard time throughout the journey.

Originally posted by fhain29
There are some things that annoy me very much on buses and trams.

...

2) People who will always sit on an aisle seat when the window seat next to them is empty and do not budge up when the bus/tram is full. Even worse is when they put all their (yes, invariably Aldi) bags on the seat beside them. Shoot them all!

I usually smile politely and ask if I can take the seat - they always reciprocate positively

...public transport isn't as bad as some think :D

Oh my god! I would be so insulted if someone offered me their seat because I was female (although I probably wouldn't know that was the reason) - it's like, I give me seat up for people who are less able to stand up than me, e.g. the elderly, infirm, pregnant etc. So it's like a man assuming that my weak female constitution can't cope with standing up! The only time anyone's ever given their seat up for me was a girl once when I was bent double with nausea :S

Originally posted by saxon51
This is true, and that is why the teachers will probably give up their seats whilst the kids sit down. Imagine little Algernon falling on the bus/tram and his parents claiming off the school for not looking after their child. We can only order our OWN kids to stand, not other people's. And if a school kid offers up his/her seat whilst on a school trip the teacher will tell them to sit down again. Neither the staff nor the kids have any choice in this, it's the law.

And remember, the old biddies could probably wait for the next bus....the kids, however have to be somewhere at a given time - together - and cannot set of earlier or later.

Taking 30+ kids on public transport is hard enough without Ma Kettle giving you a hard time throughout the journey.

If they travel by public transport that allows standing passengers then there is no health and safety reason for them to be seated. This is just more fluff and nonesense because of the move towards lack of personal responsability and litigation to resolve accidents.

Originally posted by noseyrosie
Oh my god! I would be so insulted if someone offered me their seat because I was female (although I probably wouldn't know that was the reason) - it's like, I give me seat up for people who are less able to stand up than me, e.g. the elderly, infirm, pregnant etc. So it's like a man assuming that my weak female constitution can't cope with standing up! The only time anyone's ever given their seat up for me was a girl once when I was bent double with nausea :S

I don't see why it's anything to be insulted by. It's just one of the many ways a gentlemen is able to show respect towards a lady.

Originally posted by Cyclone
If they travel by public transport that allows standing passengers then there is no health and safety reason for them to be seated. This is just more fluff and nonesense because of the move towards lack of personal responsability and litigation to resolve accidents.

Public transport allows standing on a strictly voluntary basis. Any adult or child who stands by choice - chooses to stand on THAT bus, rather than take the next bus.

To make a child stand is putting that child at risk [bus brakes hard, child goes flying, parent blames school]. The staff have a personal responsibility to these kids throughout the journey. The parents expect the staff to carry out these responsibilities. Aren't they the first to complain when a newspaper trumps up some story about neglect of child safety in schools?

I repeat that the kids and staff are on the bus out of necessity, unlike a lot of the pensioners who are there out of habit and could realistically wait for an emptier bus in most cases.

I can see the headlines in the Star now.......

"Careless Teachers Put Child's Life at Risk"

'My little boy should never have been standing on that crowded bus,' said his mum. 'Blah, blah, blah..

By the way, ever taken 30+ kids on a public bus at 9:30am cyclone?...... when the old uns seem to think they are above queueing behind them, even though the kids are paying the same fare, and have been waiting longer. You know, the same oldies who would go ballistic if one of these kids decided to queue-jump whilst they are waiting?

Originally posted by Lickszz
I don't see why it's anything to be insulted by. It's just one of the many ways a gentlemen is able to show respect towards a lady.

I agree with noseyrosie. I think standing to let a lady (who you don't know) sit has anything to do with 'respect', it is basically all about trying to get in to her good books so you can ...

Some guys will stand and let a pretty young lady sit, and then next week on the same bus / tram, they'd be quite happy to sit and let a frail elderly lady stand who doens't have the same cute looks.

It stinks.

Dear all

What an interesting exercise in self-denial.

All this talk of which groups of people you would give up your seat for, when we all know that it never happens.

If this straw poll of responses was to be believed, you are all bouncing up and down every five minutes to let another old person or pregnant woman sit down.

Stuff and nonsense!

I go on buses and trams all the time, and no-one ever gives up their seat for anyone else.

The only time it happens is when someone gets up just before their stop and indicates their seat to someone else as they move forward or to the doors.

Otherwise we all sit in splendid isolation, taking care not to catch each other's eye and hoping that no-one will sit by us and generally being fantastically anti-social.

So the real answers to this question ought to be "Nope, never, not unless I actually witness them fall to the floor, and maybe not even then if someone else can be persuaded to offer their seat first."

Originally posted by Belle
Dear all

What an interesting exercise in self-denial.

All this talk of which groups of people you would give up your seat for, when we all know that it never happens.


Or maybe it's because the people who don't give up their seats haven't bothered replying to this thread because they don't want to admit that they don't?

Often I stand up and offer my seat and it is refused, so just because you might be on a tram or bus and someone in one of the previously mentioned groups is standing, it may well be through their own choice.

how often is it that frail elderly people and pregnant women travel on crowded buses or trams. It's not necessary to give up a seat unless the bus/tram is full, and i don't generally see too many of either category out and about very often.

Originally posted by Belle
Dear all

What an interesting exercise in self-denial.

All this talk of which groups of people you would give up your seat for, when we all know that it never happens.

If this straw poll of responses was to be believed, you are all bouncing up and down every five minutes to let another old person or pregnant woman sit down.

Stuff and nonsense!

I go on buses and trams all the time, and no-one ever gives up their seat for anyone else.

The only time it happens is when someone gets up just before their stop and indicates their seat to someone else as they move forward or to the doors.

Otherwise we all sit in splendid isolation, taking care not to catch each other's eye and hoping that no-one will sit by us and generally being fantastically anti-social.

So the real answers to this question ought to be "Nope, never, not unless I actually witness them fall to the floor, and maybe not even then if someone else can be persuaded to offer their seat first."