What's everyones views abount counselling? Have you ever been? Has it helped?

Cheers

I have never had counselling but am considering it . I think it's a good idea as there aren't that many 'good listeners' around. My bugbear is that I always listen to other people but when I need a listening ear there's never one around.

Give it a go!

Originally posted by missb
I have never had counselling but am considering it . I think it's a good idea as there aren't that many 'good listeners' around. My bugbear is that I always listen to other people but when I need a listening ear there's never one around.

Give it a go!


im like that im good at sorting everyones problems out bar my own... thing is with me i dont trust these counsellers and i still have visons of them been part of the jesus sandals brigade /social worker type........ put it this way i dont trust social workers

I have had counselling in the past and am also training to be a counsellor. Panda I can asure you I don't have any sandels nor am I a social worker.
I have found in the past that having a nuteral sounding board has helped clarrify issues in my life. Like missb I have often been there for friends but not found that listening ear receprocated.

I think the stigma surrounding counselling and 'therapy' is diminishing and people are become more informed about what it actually is and there are loads of good organisations out there.

If you want to give it a go then try it and just make sure that it feels right for you :) You should get an assesment appointment firstly which will allow both you and the counsellor to decide if you can work together amongst other things and if you don't like it then you don't have to do anything else

I've never had counselling but it's not something that I would ever dismiss if i thought I had need of it. Like others, we all tend to sort other peoples problems out a lot easier than we can sort out our own. I think it's because we can't distance ourselves from our problems and perhaps we need the clarification of unbiased advice from an outsider.
I know a few people that have used Relate and online counselling services and all of them have praised them for the way they've been able to clarify their problems and put them in perspective. Each one of them has said that the solutions to their problems actually came from themselves, the counsellors job was mainly to open their minds to where the solutions could come from and not to actually tell them what they should do.
But I do think that if you're thinking of seeking counselling, then you're already sure that perhaps you do need their services to help you and help clarify your problmes for you.
A problem shared is a problem halved.....and all that.

I've had three lots of counselling...not much fun! I would say it definitely helped me sort out a few issues but I wouldn't recommend it for any serious problems. It doesn't "solve" problems, just makes you more aware of them and the ways in which you can help yourself.

I once had counselling for a stress related problem, and felt more depressed afterwards.

In my case, it was total waste of time.

Sorry.

my doctor wanted me to go to councilling after my grandad died because I was going through a bit of a rough patch and that added a lot of things onto my mind that I couldn't cope and wasnt sleeping...

I refused though, I like to solve my own problems either by myself or with people I know... unfortunatly theres only a couple of people I know that will listen to my problems... and they're women, and unfortunatly they're all generally busy with their b/f's these days :(

if anyone wants an ear, I'm here, I'm always helping everyone with their problems and I'm good with advice usually :) but just bare in mind I'll probably jump in with my own problems, so only open up if your ready to do some listening too!

personally though, I guess councelling depends on how comfortable you are with sharing things with strangers, I'm the sort of person that generally keeps things close-knit, not many people know me well, I like to keep it that way... I only open up fully when I really REALLY trust someone!

Councelling can and does work. I had councelling after clinical depression and coming dangerously close to nervous breakdown at 17 (MANY reasons, all valid, not just another can't cope with stress case). After having councelling and getting my life back on track I actually did a bit of councelling training to get a better idea of how it works, because people often find it easier to talk to people who can genuinely empathise with their particular problem.

Of course, if you don't want councelling you won't be receptive to it and will declare that it doesn't work. Lucy_smith, you are correct to say that councilling will not solve problems, but that is not the intention. That is because most problems needing councelling cannot be 'solved' in any real world kind of way. It is simply used to put the receiver in a position where they can work past the issue and be confident enough to fix it themselves. If you ever find a councellor who tries to make you brush problems under the carpet do NOT see them any more; you could get similar advice from a cabby on the way home from the boozer!

I never thought I would say this but I have been to counselling and have been amased at what was uncovered. She didn't scratch the surface but ploughed deep into me. I've found out that I have been sufferering from tremedous guilt about various things that have gone on over the years. Mainly concerning my kids and more recently problems within a relationship. I always thought the god awful feeling in the pit of my stomach which laid me low was some sort of depressive illness that re-occured, but what I have learned since I've been to counselling is that no amount of prescription drugs, illegal drugs or alcohol will eleviate the feelings. Talking to a stranger seems to have helped. So I would recomend counselling to anyone who needs it.....

Talking to a stranger seems to have helped. So I would recomend counselling to anyone who needs it.....I'm so glad you changed your mind that it was the last thing you needed. I wouldn't have suggested it if I hadn't thought it might help you.

I've never consulted a 'proper' counsellor but I have someone who's done some training, makes an excellent sounding board, and from what he doesn't say, has usually been able to point me in the right direction to find my own answer.

If you find the right person, having counselling can really make a difference, imo.

I'm so glad you changed your mind that it was the last thing you needed. I wouldn't have suggested it if I hadn't thought it might help you.

I've never consulted a 'proper' counsellor but I have someone who's done some training, makes an excellent sounding board, and from what he doesn't say, has usually been able to point me in the right direction to find my own answer.

If you find the right person, having counselling can really make a difference, imo.

anyone want to give me free counselling ? :help::huh:

anyone want to give me free counselling ? :help::huh:Haven't you got any friends? Oh, rather - don't answer that! :hihi:

I had counselling for a few weeks a while back. My experience of it was that the person could in no way solve any of my problems but it was a bit liberating to be able to pour out all your bad to someone without worry of being judged. I never ever load my problems onto my friends and family because I don't want them to worry about me. A lot of stuff is too intimate as well so I tend to keep everything to myself and paint a happy picture to everyone (except my OH; the poor guy gets the brunt of everything :hihi:).

I had counselling for a few weeks a while back. My experience of it was that the person could in no way solve any of my problems but it was a bit liberating to be able to pour out all your bad to someone without worry of being judged. I never ever load my problems onto my friends and family because I don't want them to worry about me. A lot of stuff is too intimate as well so I tend to keep everything to myself and paint a happy picture to everyone (except my OH; the poor guy gets the brunt of everything :hihi:).

Oh come on, you can tell me, I will not discuss it with anyone else.:cool:

I wish my wife would go and see someone so she can talk about all the mess we are in to someone outside the situation and impartial. But I guess the sea will part first :(

I'm currently in the middle of a course of counselling to sort out an ongoing cycle of depression that has been active for my whole adult life. I've tried several sorts of antidepressive medication and had very little in the way of success with them, but I recognised that in the past some hard work, serious introspection and talking therapy have been very helpful in getting out of the depression hole.

This time around I'm making a contract with myself. I've spent a long time either getting myself out of the hole that depression has landed me in or falling back into it and I'm not prepared to allow myself to fall back into the hole again so I am putting my trust in a really good counsellor who works by a method with which I am completely invested to help me work on why I always end up back in the hole and how I can avoid it in future.

So far I'm back out of the hole and looking objectively at it without the fear of falling back into it and that's a good start to me. It may take more time and it's certainly more expensive in monetary, time and emotional investment than popping a pill, but for me it's reaping a huge amount more in terms of returns too and I feel better than I have done since before I started having the symptoms of depression this time around, which was about 2 years ago.

For counselling to work you need to find a counsellor who you get on with, who you respect and who you feel you can share your innermost feelings with, and you need that counsellor to be flexible and knowledgeable enough to be able to apply the methods which are most likely to help you. After that it comes down to you being prepared to put in the work and go through the inevitable intense feelings and possible tears that the process is going to bring up. You get out what you put in and although the counsellor will help, guide and question you, they won't 'fix' you. If you're looking for someone else to 'fix' you then counselling isn't that likely to do anything helpful.

There are lots of different 'schools' of counselling and getting the wrong kind for you may put you off for life. Some counsellors may well be more messed up than their clients. Some are excellent. Some are very nice but pretty ineffective. I have experienced a broad range in both my personal and professional life.

I would suggest trying out a few before you decide on adopting one.

I just want to say how pleased I am for Frank Sidney that he has turned such a corner. There is so much we hide from ourselves or don't fully understand, primitive gut feelings that we can't identify the cause of. Often one event will trigger off a backlog of other unfinished business, and when you do make the realization of what it was that was getting to you all along, it's such a relief. Awareness is half the battle.

As many people will be aware, to say I've had counselling is like saying Eddie Izzard's done some jogging. I won't go on about it here, but in the last year I really made a breakthrough. There's heaps of mountain left to climb, and still the danger I'll get cocky and fall into a crevasse, but the view's pretty good all the same. :)

Good luck to anyone who's found the courage to face their demons.

There are lots of different 'schools' of counselling and getting the wrong kind for you may put you off for life. Some counsellors may well be more messed up than their clients. Some are excellent. Some are very nice but pretty ineffective. I have experienced a broad range in both my personal and professional life.

I would suggest trying out a few before you decide on adopting one.

I would also urge anyone considering counselling to make sure they see someone who is working within a recognised group practice or recommend by a reputable source, e.g. your GP.

Good counselling can be a valuable help, but bad counselling, whether through incompetence or the deliberate pursuit of a counsellor's own agenda, can cause enormous problems and setbacks.

I wish my wife would go and see someone so she can talk about all the mess we are in to someone outside the situation and impartial. But I guess the sea will part first :(

Forgive me if I am wrong but it seems that you want your wife to see someone about the mess you are both in so what about the pair of you going together? If you suggest couple/family counseling she might go to support you and in the process if there is a concern she is not facing it might come out and then she could talk to the counseller herself.

I had counciling years ago, what a waste of time, the things that made me depressed are still with me. I know the answer but too weak to do anything about it.

My eldest son went to councelling several years ago. It was a waste of time and money. A couple of years ago his employer sent him to a different councellor and it did him the world of good. It has to be the right time and the right councellor.

Like many others replying, I do believe that counselling can help - thats my own experience having counselling and also what I've seen from the people I've worked with in counselling. But it can depend on the relationship with your counsellor, and your expectations. There are different types of counselling. Some, like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), are 'solution focussed' and suit people who want more direction and short term counselling. Others are more exploratory, such as 'person centred' and can last for a longer period of time. The British Association of Counselling and Pyschotherapy webisite provides more info on different types. Do ask any prospective counselling about their training if you want to know their approach and its not clear. Some counsellors (including myself) do a free first session so people can see if its for them, and also low cost counselling for people on low income. Carol.
greystones-counselling@hotmail.co.uk