I'd suggest coming at him from behind with a kestrel and getting it to nibble his earlobes while brushing its wings at a speed of 123bpm. What do you think?

Make it pull scarey faces and sing Christian hymns whilst wearing a bow tie then finally spontaneously combusting in his face.

I think that would work.

Get a Buzzard to hide in his wardrobe, then fly out sqawking loudly just as he's nodding off.

Hire a kestrel to disembowel L'wren in the back garden.

Actually there's a good arguement for getting a falcon that does impressions to disguise itself as a microphone and when Mick opens his mouth to sing, dives in there and rips his tonsils out.

I'd suggest coming at him from behind with a kestrel and getting it to nibble his earlobes while brushing its wings at a speed of 123bpm. What do you think?

How about using a homicidal little red rooster to pour brown sugar on a street fighting man making him angry enough to hit Mick with a rolling stone. He might have a nineteenth nervous breakdown.

Paint it black and have it coming down singing Sympathy for the devil.

Paint it black and have it coming down singing Sympathy for the devil.

Oddly enough I once recorded a cover version of that as an advertising jingle for sandwich toasters.
It was called "Sympathy For The Breville".