You walk into a room and wonder what you were looking for

You start buying larger knickers

when you find yourself sat at the pc instead of stood at the bar

when you stop more than once at a cafe when you're out shopping

You find yourself looking in the mirror less often.

you don't put your smalls on the washing line

you drink too much tea at home

You start knitting.

For me it's been realising that I have aches in places that I didn't know were places. :)

George Orwell once said that 'At 50, every man has the face he deserves' - I have under 5 years to go until I get to that age and I must have been a bloody good boy. :)

But my knees...oh dear. To hear them click is like listening to a Spanish dancer with very loud castanets.

when you start taking fish oil tablets then Joe lol

You start knitting.
Ahem. You might want to rethink (http://sexyknittersclub.blogspot.com/) that (http://www.domiknitrix.com/) one (http://www.ravelry.com/) ;) .

When you dye your hair to cover the grey bits and not because you fancy a colour change.

when you start taking fish oil tablets then Joe lol

Already there! Glucosamine and Fish Oils every day!

When my cartilage went I was advised to start and they do work quite well!

When you're old.

Ahem. You might want to rethink (http://sexyknittersclub.blogspot.com/) that (http://www.domiknitrix.com/) one (http://www.ravelry.com/) ;) .

When you dye your hair to cover the grey bits and not because you fancy a colour change.


It is what my mum use to tell me when I asked why she like knitting. She would say "it's because I'm getting old"...she wasn't old though. :confused:

I'm too clumsy to knit, I have tried when I was younger. :)

when you need those reading glasses from the pound shop

When you drink plain water before you go to bed after a good night out to hopefully hold off the hang over

You wake up earlier

you hate standing up on the tram

hangovers go on for days :(

when people in shops call you madam.

when your get up and go has got up and gone

kids call you mister, or even worse "mester"

You bend down to pickup something, and look what else you can pickup while you're down there!

you hardly see anyone you recognize when you're out

Prince...yes that Prince is having hip replacement surgery :o

When you say "well when I was younger...."

When the only way you can see your genitals is to look in a mirror.

...when you are closer to cold stiff that hot stuff.

Got to agree about the hangovers that last for days, getting drunk is no longer enjoyable:sad:

when my 5 year old son says "mummy, you know 100 years ago when you were a little girl"

When you have middle aged children!

When your Granchildren have children......

when very young men look at you and you have to look away

When you forget where you parked your car in the parking lot

if someone answers for you

When your kids ask what a record player is !!:rolleyes:

Your children have nearly paid off their mortgage

when young people get up for you on the bus

When you get excited about a trip to Bon Marche

when you like the taste of olives

ugh never!

when you start wearing lower heeled shoes

when a handsome man runs into your room shouting 'supersex' - and you say you'll have the soup!

when a handsome man runs into your room shouting 'supersex' - and you say you'll have the soup!

I'm not that old then ;)

I'm not that old then ;)

me neither;)

It's my mums birthday today and the kids at the school she works at were asking her how old she is. They're 7 year olds and one of them said to her "Are you 39?" and another child said "Ofcourse she's not 39, she'd be nearly dead!" :o :hihi:

She told them if that was the case, she'd have been long gone by now.

You Like the feel of nylon trousers

you can't touch your toes (I can put my palms on the floor keeping my legs straight)

you stop looking at your reflection in shop windows

you start using a handrail

When you drink plain water before you go to bed after a good night out to hopefully hold off the hang over

I've done that since I was about 15! :confused:

When you start moaning to the Mods about popular threads that you feel you can't join in;)

When you start recognising your children's friends / friends' children in night clubs... :(

when you take longer to get out of your chair

I've done that since I was about 15! :confused:

It takes some of us longer to learn what's good for us :hihi:

when old people make a beeline for you

It takes some of us longer to learn what's good for us :hihi:

How long did it take you!?

:oYou should never ask a lady her age! Ok it took 24 yrs ( my mum put whisky in my bottle ;) )

when you try and put sodding eye shadow on and it just looks like you threw it on even though its taken you half an hour lol x

when you start wearing clothes for comfort rather than fashion

:oYou should never ask a lady her age! Ok it took 24 yrs ( my mum put whisky in my bottle ;) )

Not old yet then :rolleyes:

when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes - and you're barefoot!

when you buy slip-on shoes because you can't bend down to tie laces

You give up holding your stomach in

You spend more time asleep in front of the TV than watching it

shop assistants call you 'dear'

shop assistants call you 'dear'

lol i get called dear cause i'm young :P

when you're out of breath putting your socks on

you say the things your mother used to say

When you say to your teenage son, this is a house not a hotel.

You go to the loo more often

When everyone else seems to be getting younger.

Not old yet then :rolleyes:

I'm actually much older than i made out but i'm intersted to know what your definition of old is Dave? Be honest but careful with this one ;)

:help:You look at your sons friends length of hair and tut:hihi:

I'm actually much older than i made out but i'm intersted to know what your definition of old is Dave? Be honest but careful with this one ;)

No comment :P

Actually 'old' varies with age i reckon. when i was at school anyone over 18 was old ,when i got to 21 anyone over 30 was old ,when i was 30 ..ok i'll stop there cos now i'm depressing myself:sad:

you meet someone from school who looks twice your age

when bottles of pills acrue in the bathroom cabinet

As Victoria Wood said when you pass a display of Dr Scholls sandles and think " ohh they look comfy "

When you dress for ease and not to please

When you bend over naked and resemble a table.:hihi:

when you don't run for the bus

when it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night (given to me)

when your kids ask who Charlton Heston is

when you sit down for five minutes and get up an hour later

Is it when you lust after Daniel Craig ?:hihi::hihi::hihi:;):P

when you buy a jacket to keep you warm on a night out .
when the kids you worked with in primary school are now 6 foot 3 ,driving cars and greeting you with 'alright love'.

Is it when you lust after Daniel Craig ?:hihi::hihi::hihi:;):P

he is looking at me now with longing, I shall meet him agin in July:P

when it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night (given to me)

when you can't get into some of the positions you used to get into when you did all night what it now takes all night to do ;)

when you can't get into some of the positions you used to get into when you did all night what it now takes all night to do ;)

speak for yourself lol

Is it when you lust after Daniel Craig ?:hihi::hihi::hihi:;):P

I have a feeling you'd like to be there;)

you avoid stairs and steps

when you have to ask someone to thread a needle for you

You die of old age.

Your kids buy Lavender Scent for your birthday.

You no longer go to raves.

You'd rather choose new bed linen than illegal substances.

You'd rather choose new bed linen than illegal substances.

and sleep in the new bed linen rather than shag in it:hihi:

Buses wait for you

you forget where you put things

you have to get someone to cut your toenails

When you get up out of a chair makig grunting noises cos you got aches/pains and stiff joints

You start saying turn that bloody racket down (music)

When you can't remember if you've replied to a thread or not;)

when Tarquin posts the same post over and over and over

(shh I've done it too)

when Tarquin posts the same post over and over and over

(shh I've done it too)

On many occasions:hihi::hihi::hihi:;):P

When you read through this thread nodding in agreement with every post :(

too true

when the latest tunes don't mean a thing to you

you start to turn lights off to save electricity

when your back goes out more than you do :hihi: and when your on first name terms with your pharmasist !

[QUOTE=Tess;33677490when your on first name terms with your pharmasist ![/QUOTE]




good one!!

you only wear shorts in the garden

you start putting your feet up

you need a push every now and then

you stop fancying younger men

When you read through this thread nodding in agreement with every post :(

Yes!! :hihi:

when you start using the same expressions your parents use

You get a telegram from the queen :hihi:

oh crikey

when you use cafes as 'pitstops'

when pop music starts to sound like the signature tune to 'The high chaparral' and even worse when you cannot remember the title of that song two minutes after its finished :(
I've just been listening to the radio and there's a tune at no: 35 called ...someones last stand and i cannot remember who the 'someone' is maybe someone can help me out? probably somebody alot younger than i am ;)

you start wearing sensible shoes

You get cakes baked for you

Your get up and go has got up and gone

When you can't go out without your shopping trolley

when your son gets you cups of teas

nice......

You start looking forward to cocoa at bedtime

you start using reminder notes

when you start taking cod liver oil again

when you leave the washing up till 'later'

when you don't look at yourself sideways in the mirror

Is it when you keep posting on your own thread ?

Is it when you keep posting on your own thread ?

when some people are so obsessed that they notice, I have to make a list as this topic is on another forum and I can use these

shouldn't you be on the Spiteful Genie thread anyway? lol

middle age creeps up on you - round the waist

You're walking up a hill and you stop halfway

you get someone else to mow the lawn

The taxi driver takes your shopping to the door

When you start circling the things u want to watch in the tv guide with a biro..

When you start circling the things u want to watch in the tv guide with a biro..

haha that reminds me of my mother

When you lust after far younger men ?

When you start circling the things u want to watch in the tv guide with a biro..

I used to do that with my sister when we were young :)
Never watched any of it though lol

When you lust after far younger men ?

:hihi:


Tutting at teenagers :D
And watching have I got news for you :|

:hihi:


Tutting at teenagers :D
And watching have I got news for you :|

Hey! I've just watched have I got news for you!

When you do 'Am I bovvered' impressions *shudder*

Hey! I've just watched have I got news for you!

When you do 'Am I bovvered' impressions *shudder*

I have too that's why I said it :hihi:

your schoolfriends don't recognize you

you accept disappointment.

When you realise that you have been left school half your life. 16 years :o :(

You get called old by your partner, and your only 23 :o

when you get someone else to do your shopping

when you need someone else to put on your shoes

Is it when you use the Internet to look up Nursing home fees ?

is that what you've been doing?

is that what you've been doing?

Not for a few years yet :hihi:

when you need someone to paint your toenails

You go to the cinema with your pick and mix bag, expecting it to be 10p and it turns out as £1.20

When you start looking when the Crown Green Bowling season begins

when you can go in the pub without ID

when you stop getting crushes on celebs.

when you stop getting crushes on celebs.

Now,I find that hard to believe;)

heehee

when you envy couples who hold hands

when you need viagra just to stop u pi**ing on your slippers :hihi:

you move to a bungalow to avoid stairs

When You Cant Keep Up With All The Posts

Is it when you wished you had Daniel Craigs boxer shorts as a hankerchief ?;):hihi:

Is it when you wished you had Daniel Craigs boxer shorts as a hankerchief ?;):hihi:

That's gross:gag:, I'm more of a romantic please:love:

That's gross:gag:, I'm more of a romantic please:love:

So what you are saying is that you would wear them yourself:hihi::heyhey:

So what you are saying is that you would wear them yourself:hihi::heyhey:
I would never do anything dirty in fact:-

I NEVER DO ANYTHING - ANYWHERE - WITH ANYBODY:P

when you keep pressing unsubscribe instead of last page

when you need specs. for ............everything

when you need specs. for ............everything

I squinted as hard as I could and even tried to read this from across the room and I can't quite make it out. Next time can you use Larger Type


:D:D

a larger everything (methinks) oops

when you have to sit down to tie your laces

when it's easier to stay in bed

when someone offers to help you across the road

argh . did that happen today Cressida?

Is it when you thought Peter Gabriel sang "Where do you go to my lovely " ?

argh . did that happen today Cressida?


no but next time I could hesitate a bit and perhaps a DC look-alike might take my arm (or something):P

Is it when you thought Peter Gabriel sang "Where do you go to my lovely " ?
Just the sort of thing a man would contemplate isn't it 'I WANT TO SEE INTO YOUR HEAD':help:

is it when you fall asleep at the computer?

tch - do I ever?

:hihi::hihi::hihi:

when you get out of going on dates (mind you I've always done that)

is it when you forget what you have said to who

is it when you forget what you have said to who


What you been saying then?:suspect::D

I have not said anything Cressida..........:hihi::help:

I have not said anything Cressida..........:hihi::help:

ah bless:cool::D

You start shrinking!!!!

hahahahaha
are you starting to look like the diddy men in you hat and coat?

hahahahaha
are you starting to look like the diddy men in you hat and coat?

as long as I don't look like Ken Dodd, what's not to like?:P

.................................................

:p
Back...........

que? what's the smiley and back mean?

taken it off, sorry

you start wetting your pants :(

doesn't really matter, one of my phobias was being a little old lady, but I'm 5'5" and hoping I don't shrink

you start wetting your pants :(

rofl ...............

Your hot water bottle starts to look attractive !!!

Your hot water bottle starts to look attractive !!!



:hihi::hihi::hihi:(can I buy a Daniel Craig furry cover then?)

Don't know about a Daniel Craig cover for your hot water bottle, but...Have you seen those Emma Bridgewater tea towels that say 'I had a really nice dream last night about Daniel Craig' .I saw them and immediately thought of you!!

you need to clear some storage space

Don't know about a Daniel Craig cover for your hot water bottle, but...Have you seen those Emma Bridgewater tea towels that say 'I had a really nice dream last night about Daniel Craig' .I saw them and immediately thought of you!!

where are they for sale, it does ring a bell

I just saw them in the Emma Bridgewater catalogue.No wonder it sounds familiar...You do have a dream about Daniel Craig EVERY night !!!!!

I just saw them in the Emma Bridgewater catalogue.No wonder it sounds familiar...You do have a dream about Daniel Craig EVERY night !!!!!

I wish - once I think, nothing happened unless I can't remember it:hihi:

you think about getting a pet when the children have left home

you forget to get off the bus at your stop

you forget you are on the bus

haha


you fall asleep on the bus

you forget to wake up because you have fallen asleep on the bus that you forgot you was on, or, did you infact fall asleep at all, or did you actually catch the bus in the first place or are you still asleep inyour bed thinking about the day ahead?














dunno, forgot what we was talking about now

what I'm guessing all these - I have a vivid imagination as well!!


when you get in the wrong bed by mistake

no i just started to write and i think i must have been tripping or something

when you think you're dreaming when you're awake and vice versa

when you have forgotten what you have wrote

when you have forgotten what you have wrote.

when you have forgotten what you have wrote,

when you have forgotten what you have wrote,.

when Ferryman is in need of stronger medication

Your fingers curl over and your hands turn into talons.

when you carry round bits of paper in the supermarket with things you have to remember to get

i must be getting old

heehee

when you feel like sitting in the trolley instead of pushing it

When You Cant Even Get In The Trolley

If It Wasnt For Bits Of Paper I Would Even Forget To Get Up Inthe Morning Lol

I like a lie-in sometimes

when you take ages at the check-out and hold up the queue

never had a lie in


have you been spying on me in the shops?

you can push me round in the shopping trolley next time (not down any hills though)



when you start talking to anyone and everyone

when you talk to yourself, i dont do that do i? you know you do

have you been listening to me?

when you start getting your hair permed!

thats one thing i cant do. not until it grows a lot anyway


when you get your ear hair trimmed more than your head lol lol

you've got hair havn't you?


when you are a regular at the clinic

only a full head, but i dont use doctors

when you go to pay your hotel bill before realising you left your wallet in the car parked three streets away...........d-head!

haha


when you try jogging and look like Jimmy Saville

when even jim cant fix it hahahaha

when you have to employ a toy boy to dress and feed you

i dont suppose you would hear many women complaining about getting old if that happens

can go too far from what I read once!!!


when you can't lift your hand to thumb a lift (heehee)

THATS OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what did you read once?

you must have done this one
when you have your car keys in your hand and you spend 10 minutes looking for them

I can't say on here what I read


no I havn't, I have done the same with my mobile, I got someone to phone it and still couldn't locate it - it was under a pile of my clothes!

when you find someones mobile left in the pub the next day and try to ring them to tell them they have left it

lol


when you knock on someone else's front door thinking it's your own house

i did worse than that when i was a kid...i came home from school or wherever and walked in the house not even realising and went upstairs to the bedroom to hide my fags and i still didnt realise until i got in the bedroom i had walked into next doors house

did they catch you?


when you forget to eat your Meals on Wheels meal

of course ,,,they were in the bedroom,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hahaha sex education

when you remember your meal but cant find your teeth

i had managed to forget all about that until now...ah well back to the therapist in the morning

you're kidding me

when you start answering your own questions

i always answer my own questions, but i usually get them wrong...haha

when you start buying cuddly toys again

got me there i havnt reached that point yet, so you must either be older or aged faster lol


when the grandkids tire you out after 10 minutes

my mother did - perhaps it was just her and I ain't a gran



when someone calls you nan for the first time

ooops
these arn't your experiances then...................lol


when you get called grandad for the second time ..........lol

of course not - I'm going off things I've read or noticed



when the cashier counts out your change for you - slowly

Oh..................

yes i am doing the same...........lol

ok


when men stop eyeing you up?

when you cant even see the men in front of you

and worry about the ones behind you !!!

when you start thinking about when your getting old....:hihi::hihi::hihi:

when you stop going to church as there are too many old people there!