Inspired by the 'food fight' thread.

Hand whisk if they had long hair. Meat tenderiser if I really wanted to hurt them and a fish slice if they were a celebrity gardener.

The George Foreman grill. Slam it on my opponent's head and they'd get concussion and a fried face at the same time :D

My garlic press, on their nose :o

I'd use a fridge-freezer or a washing machine...... or both.

Frying pan every time. they make a wonderful reverberating sound

Kitchenaid mixer with dough hook attachment....nasty.

I have a really heavy cast iron frying pan which would certainly do some damage, however it is tough enough trying to lift it never mind swing it with any degree of acuracy

Melon Baller.

A fork in the backside would hurt,or hit them over the head with the wok.

Maybe the electric carving knife I was bought might come in handy in a fight. Especially against a renegade leprechaun, it'd be like brandishing a full size chainsaw at the little fella. Begorrah.

A wet teatowel:D

I have a really heavy cast iron frying pan which would certainly do some damage, however it is tough enough trying to lift it never mind swing it with any degree of acuracy


I'd NEVER use mine for that, it's my favorite pan,i wouldn't want to get blood on the bottom of that.

Maybe the electric carving knife I was bought might come in handy in a fight. Especially against a renegade leprechaun, it'd be like brandishing a full size chainsaw at the little fella. Begorrah.

You have to be aware of how far away you are from the power point you are. Last thing you want is for it to come unplugged mid-carve. There's nothing as dangerous as a wounded leprechaun.

egg seperator

a spatular - i bet that would hurt on the backside if i spanked hard enough :hihi:

You have to be aware of how far away you are from the power point you are. Last thing you want is for it to come unplugged mid-carve. There's nothing as dangerous as a wounded leprechaun.

That's true, and the pesky little fellas can easily give you the slip so coming unplugged is likely. That's why it's best to be prepared and make sure your magical Breville Toasted Sandwich maker shield is heated up in advance of your combat. If you're clever, have some bread in it ready and then you can have warm leprechaun sarnie to celebrate victory (his liver will burn your mouth though so be careful).

A wet teatowel:D

Ouch! Those leave welts!:suspect:


I'd opt for the barbecue tongs. Yep. Definitely the tongs.

Spaghetti Spoon or Pastry brush ....

Never been in a real fight :(:D

Chopsticks..........straight up the 'ooter.

nut crackers

A rolling pin.

Cheese grater... make hellova mess of someones face!

Cheese grater... make hellova mess of someones face!

If you strap them to your legs, it puts an end to unwanted attention from dogs in heat too.

fast n furious supply of hot teaspoons.

If you strap them to your legs, it puts an end to unwanted attention from dogs in heat too.

:gag::hihi::hihi:

Not sure wether to laugh or be sick!

:gag::hihi::hihi:

Not sure wether to laugh or be sick!

Do both at the same time, it feels amazing.

A cooker......

Olive stoners!

Melon Baller.

It's just a discussion, there's no need for name-calling.

Anyway that was never proved.

A spatula and chopping board for a shield..

A juicer - one of the big ones that can take whole fruit such as...oh I don't know....plums and bananas without having to chop them up first ;)

A cheese grater................................and a bottle of vinegar........................yes I am sick and twisted.

A rolling pin.

Our lass uses the rolling pin....I use the big frying pan, but just as a shield; I'm usually deaf by the time she's calmed down. ;)

egg slicer :D:D:D

Rolling pin, mop handle if there was one handy

the spears you put into sweetcorn.

Locksley! I'm gonna cut your heart out with a spoon.
Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
Because it's DULL, you twit. It'll hurt more.

Meat cleaver & chopping board

mop handle if there was one handy

Nora Batty :P

Nora Batty :P

you can go off people:P

A wet sponge- I'm a lover not a fighter:hihi:

For some reason I've got a gruesome mental picture of an eye ball on my apple corer.:gag:

My washing-up brush. Then at least I can say I'd used it once!

Classic SF thread, laughed myself silly so far ...

sugar tongs and that little thing you use for squeezing teabags ... very useful in the close combat encounter.

Garlic press and a stick blender

Cheese wire - you could decapitate someone quite easily!!!!

a spatular - i bet that would hurt on the backside if i spanked hard enough :hihi:

that does really hurt! my collegues at work used to do it to each other and me, alsoa fish slice is good for hitting someone on the bum but really painful!

i would use my toaster and shove my opponents hands in for a good cook

corkscrew and iron ..switched onto maximum heat for at least ten minutes :suspect:

whisk - good for beating