Need some help.

I have been with a guy for nearly a year and a half and he still says that he loves me BUT he does not act the same around me.
the worst thing is i feel that he maybe wants someone else as he is always quite distant with me.

Any words of wisdom?

give him the boot and move on,sounds a bit blunt but whats the point of prolonging it

Thanks Kirky
not really what i wanted to hear!

but you never know

if someone is falling out of love there's not alot you can do about it,so i was just being practical....one of the lads who works for me came home from work once to find a completely empty house and he aint seen his ex since....gutted is putting it mildly....he's now remarried and happy but he said he knew deep down that his first marrige was over long before she did one, but he lived in hope of her staying.

I'd say a bit of a give away is when he doesn't want to spend time with you or is finding rreasons why he can't see you. Some guys can be total pains though and seem to take their girlfriends for granted so maybe he just needs to be told how his attitude is making you feel.
Has he be mentioning another girls name rather too much?
If you're not happy then the best idea is to have a frank and open discussion and tell him what you're feeling.

Do you still love him ? Is it worth being miserable or do you just smile and pretend everything is ok ?

A little Chattete might be in order.. Its the only way you'll know..

Originally posted by Deejay


A little Chattete might be in order..

eh:confused:

Originally posted by kirky
eh:confused:

Ok a talk :P

Originally posted by kirky
eh:confused:

He means a chat kirky :lol: and I agree. Talk it out :)

Originally posted by Deejay
Ok a talk :P

cheers dj.. i thought it was some kind of small dwelling:hihi:

Thanks all!

Yes DJ i'm one of these people that grins and bares it until i'm alone and tears roll down my face!
i have tried talking to him so many time and all he turns round and says is:
- I don't know
- I didn't know you felt that way
- I'm sorry(which is repeated over and over again!)
- and the best you should have said something before! which at this point i want to rip his head off and say i did yeaterday!!!!!

Maybe you should point out to him just how his attitude and behaviour has changed towards you giving him some examples, then ask him why have you changed?
Depending on how serious you are and how long you've been together I suppose you could consider seeing a councellor or if that seems a bit extreme getting a mutual friend to talk you both through your feelings.
Are you sure there is nothing going on in his life that is stressing him badly work problems for example or money troubles these can really affect how some-one behaves.

If it's any consilation I have finished a relationship just...hardest thing in the world to do.....goood luck!

Once you are sure you are wasting your time move on, so many lovely girls- so little time.

I love throwing a spanner in the works :D

How do you when you are 'falling IN love'

surely that needs a whole new thread of its own Deej!

Probably :roll: Oh well :D

Im not one to create many a lovey dovey threads :P

Your best guide is probably your instincts - if you think there's a problem then there probably is...

Originally posted by MissFeathers
Need some help.

I have been with a guy for nearly a year and a half and he still says that he loves me BUT he does not act the same around me.
the worst thing is i feel that he maybe wants someone else as he is always quite distant with me.

Any words of wisdom?

If you think something is wrong, it usually is in my experience; sorry babes! :sad:

K x

There's an old, rambling joke in a 'dear diary' format - a girl is pouring her heart out for a page or so about her bloke's behaviour, and how she thinks the relationship is on the rocks because he's distant.

The punchline is his diary entry - 'Team lost, got shagged'


Are you sure there isn't something more important (and I do really mean that) going on in his head just now? Is he happy with everything else in his life? Should you be asking what you can do to support him, or do you think it's really that shallow?

You'll find you can answer your own questions if you face up to the truth (whatever it may be :( )

PS - incase you don't know - I'm female ;)

Originally posted by Deejay
I love throwing a spanner in the works :D

How do you when you are 'falling IN love'

I don't think there are any specific signs in this case, I think you just know ;)

Thanks Strixs
i'm just going to go to bed and try to sleep it off!


Thank you everyone for your help it was greatly appricated!

i just hope that it will get sorted! and soon

I hope it works out for you one way or the other. It may be that he has just gotten so used to you being there, that he's taking you for granted. It happens to the best of us (I called it off with one lass after 3 years together...that was 5 years ago...we have been married now for 3 years and love each other deeply.)

I think the suggestion to talk about it with him is the best one. At least that way you can get to the root of it, and know for sure what to do.

it sounds like whats happening to you happens to most couples after a year or so the first blooms of love have worn off and you've both become complacent about the relationship
you need to have a serious chat to him and see whether he still loves you and its a fact that he is too comfy in the relationship to do the hearts and flowers anymore because if this is the case you can both work on bringing the love and romance back
if he doesn't love you then sadly its time to move on and find a love you deserve
good luck

I can only say what I have experienced but I have found that after a while of being together sometimes you need a bit of time on your own, just a day sometimes, but trying to get it can be difficult.

If you say you want a bit of time on your own the other half assumes you don't love them anymore, and if you try to do it on the sly they assume your having an affair.

I think my boyfriend now accepts that there is nothing dodgy going on when I avoid him for a day, we are still toghether after 5 years, and still in love.