Any ideas :confused: B

Because it's totally beyond me while people try to be someone they're not ? :huh:

in what way deejay ?.:heyhey:

Originally posted by brooksy
in what way deejay ?.:heyhey:

Not that way :P :hihi:

I mean people you talk to are not always who they seem... Does lying and being fake give people a buzz ?

i think its human nature to exagerate and over play things. you only have to listen to folk sometimes esp when talking about work and earnings ete .

I know just what you mean! when ive been out with a friend before, and she starts coming out with all the rubbish to impress people.. the most embarresing thing is that i must be looking at my friend gone out (very bemused) and i can also tell that the person or people we are talking to are not buying a word of it!! Its even worse when you get dragged into the fib and have to agree with them or carry on the lie because you don't want to embarress your friend further!!! ugh what an amazing thread i thought i was the only one out there this happened too!!!!

that's life. I think people feel pressurised to be this and that and read about all the Z list celebs in the paper who they idolize.

sad really.

Agree with you there Leddi, What does lying to impress people do for a person ? apart from make others think you are a bit of a prat :gag:

Lying to impress works up to the point when they're found out and they lose all respect and possibly any friends they've picked up along the way.

Is it really worth the hassle/heartache? :roll:

Maybe initially it's to do with trying to be the someone what the 'pretender' thinks that another person , or people, want.

I have to admit I'd steer clear though particularly if that person doesn't apologise or even try to give a reason for the "stories"

You can think you know someone because you come across them regularly in your everyday life but if you see them doing the Walter Mitty (http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/6821/thurber.html) stuff on a night out or at any point really (without at least mentioning what you think is a good reason) how can you be sure that at least some of the stuff you think you know about them isn't more of the same ?

everyone is culpable. People lie to pull. The person who they are after is probably not interested till she is told that he has a BMW or well paid job. Suddenly she's interested.

There seems to be a lot of materialistic and wannabee trendies out there who will do anything to get a rich bloke or a footballer.

sad really.

some people feel that they cannot compete with rich people so they start telling lies....

I think it's sad that people feel the need to act like someone they're not.

I don't know why they do it? I think for some people it's to try and make friends but I don't see what the point of that is?

If you just be yourself you will make friends regardless of who you are (as long as you're friendly and nice!) and if people don't like you for who you are there is no point being friends with them anyway, is there?

You can't always get along with everybody, no matter how much you want to :)

When I was younger and living at home in County Durham I used to have a C.B radio in my car. There was always some one on there who would tell you how they were a aircraft egineer or a electronics expert for the M.o.D or something like that and it would turn out they worked as night watchmen.

One of the other 'pretence's' that made me laugh was told to me years ago, when mobile phones had just started to become popular.
Before pay as you go only posh people could afford them and this mate of mine was at a car auction stood next to a asian chap who was jabbering on, loudly in to this mobile in ten different languages.
At some point he deceides that he's leaving and set's off down the steps but triped up and dropped his beloved phone.

It smashed into a hundred bits, but the funny thing was there was no circuit board in side it. It was just a display model.

ttfn

Somebody I know very well is a bit like this. He pretends to have qualifications, when he's talking to graduates, he makes his job sound much more grand than it really is, he often announces, quite surprisingly that his job isn't what he thought it was going to be after telling us how wonderful for 18 months. And then gets another job, which he tells us is going to be superb. He is very friendly and great at smalltalk but never says anything of any substance, he has very few male friends, and when he does make friends with another mate and introduces this bloke to me I can usually see instantly that this new person on the scene is a complete waste of time.

The trouble with telling 'porkies' when you meet some-one is that you then have to keep the lie going or you'll be found out and made to look a prat.
I suppose my worst thing that I still catch myself doing is tidying up if I know some-one is coming to the house. Anyone who knows me well is fully aware that my house is nearly always a bit dusty and things scattered here and there.
One girl I used to know used to go out clubbing and could always find a guy who'd spend his money on her, however she somehow managed to not mention that she was married. I said she was lying but she said she wasn't she just didn't mention this rather big point.

i think its an inadiquasy(sp?) people have,some feel the need to impress, came accross it a few times when talking to people in pubs,most of them were in the s a s, but once you start asking the relivant details about training etc they seem to fade away or change the subject when you mention certain training areas and weapons drill,possibly just a need to feel more expeirienced and want folk to notice/admire them......
sad really

I am sure a lot of people on the Friends Reunited website exaggerate their circumstances. People who I knew very well, and didn't appear to be outstanding, now have very successful businesses or well paid jobs. No-one seems to be a labourer or night-watchman or dustman or whatever. (Not that these are unworthy jobs).

Originally posted by Hal9001
I am sure a lot of people on the Friends Reunited website exaggerate their circumstances
Well this is very interesting. Many of the most interesting people I was at school with who I would like to say hello to, via e-mail ideally, aren't on there.

Meanwhile all the people who I had heard of slightly who are on there appear to be now rediculously over-qualified or living in some exotic location.

I had for about 4 years an interesting resume of my life and achivements on there, and had no feedback or interest, despite leaving my email address and website for contact. So I changed it to an absolutely stupid profile instead for the hell of it.

You could argue that the reason noone contacted me is because i'm boring, but I think the real reason is because most people have got lives to lead and better things to do than invite unwanted attention from people they vaguely knew at school, so nobody takes it seriously anyhow.

If my school had a reunion, for my year, I would be the last to go. It was rough there and I got my few O levels and forgot about the place and went to college, where life became much more enjoyable.

Originally posted by depoix
i think its an inadiquasy(sp?) people have,some feel the need to impress, ...


Yeah, I agree.

I think a lot of it is down to advertisments. Companies want to sell us stuff, and the basic formula involves making people feel inadequate and in need of the products they have to sell.

Are you referring to the 'SF users on Hot ot Not/What do you look like?' thread Deejay?

The person who makes up stuff when we go out is a very old friend who i know extremely well.. to the point i know that what she is talking about is utter rubbish! I can't even tell you the worst story because if she was ever to read it she would know i was talking about her but it included me running of with someone in his 40s when i was 16! this just simply wasn't true.. needless to say the men we were chatting with were not interested in talking to me that night!! now i know what your all thinking but i see it as her problem and not a problem for me.

Originally posted by Jamie
Yeah, I agree.

I think a lot of it is down to advertisments. Companies want to sell us stuff, and the basic formula involves making people feel inadequate and in need of the products they have to sell.

I think there's a lot of truth in that theory. Watching the ads on tv alone could make you feel inadequate if you took them seriously. From telling you how you should look to what you spend your money on or how your home should look, TV is certainly drumming up big business.

Getting back to the link though - I tend to undersell myself rather than go OTT.

Originally posted by tiffy
I think there's a lot of truth in that theory. Watching the ads on tv alone could make you feel inadequate if you took them seriously. From telling you how you should look to what you spend your money on or how your home should look, TV is certainly drumming up big business.

Yeah, and if I had my way, we wouldn't even have a TV in the house.

Just like the food you eat shapes who you are physically, I think what you watch on TV shapes you intellectually ... and there's a lot of junk out there !!

It would be great if they could make a set top box that blocks the adverts (or replaces them with classical music and pictures of the english countryside).

Originally posted by Jamie
Yeah, and if I had my way, we wouldn't even have a TV in the house.

Just like the food you eat shapes who you are physically, I think what you watch on TV shapes you intellectually ... and there's a lot of junk out there !!

It would be great if they could make a set top box that blocks the adverts (or replaces them with classical music and pictures of the english countryside).

I totally agree with you! :)

Originally posted by Draggletail
Are you referring to the 'SF users on Hot ot Not/What do you look like?' thread Deejay?

Not that just mate no, I'm sorry I started this thread but I was in one of my usual sombre moods when I thought of the burning question so I thought I'd ask the Forum...

ive known and spoke to many people like that.....complete weirdos! i know i may not think much of myself...but id rather be a crappy me then a fake someone lol

the truth is like a joke from dj.....some people dont want to hear it ;)


:) just joshing

The only people I can think of as being fake in my own circle are considered slimy or loopy as it's so blatantly obvious.

Then again some people are taken in by fake personalities so it must all be down to how confident the fakers are or how gullible the other is.

Oh my it just got so much worse.. now she is telling people something in her life happened to here when it happened to me!! she even had the cheek to call me later in the day and ask for more details!!!!!

Originally posted by tiffy
Then again some people are taken in by fake personalities so it must all be down to how confident the fakers are or how gullible the other is.

I'd say that 'fakers' are generally not confident AT ALL.

Originally posted by leddi
Oh my it just got so much worse.. now she is telling people something in her life happened to here when it happened to me!! she even had the cheek to call me later in the day and ask for more details!!!!!

that's shocking - how long have you known this person? - If that was me I would not be her friend! - you can't be dealing with that, life is too short anyway to have to deal with it!!

Ive known her my entire life, which i surpose makes it worse! but i feel like my memories and life have been rummaged (sp?) through and the best bits picked out for someone else to use! I totally agree with you Moonfire, life is too short.
You know, what would happen if i was chatting with her friends and came out with a story about me and she had already said it happened to her!!?? they would think it was ME that was odd! x

really! - she is one strange cookie. Is she friendly with the rest of the family? I tell you what If you want to chat you can always PM me :) I think whether you have known a person 2 weeks or a lifetime then you give them the benefit of the doubt then if that doesn't work then it's time not to be their friend.

Originally posted by Jamie
I'd say that 'fakers' are generally not confident AT ALL.

So how would you explain the ones who get away with things?

chancers - they are the worse

Originally posted by tiffy
So how would you explain the ones who get away with things?

They're the ones that slip through the net and brag about until you just wanna beat the crap out of them, like a former friend of mine :rant:

BTW they are not users of the forum, just something i had to say.

Maybe 'confidence' was the wrong word.

As everyone so far agrees on this thread, none of us would ever consider pulling a stunt that involved being 'fake' for various reasons - so what compels fakers to fake?

making themselves feel better, special, important

Originally posted by tiffy
So how would you explain the ones who get away with things?

They may appear confident (well, actually just loud) externally, but internally they are mess of insecurities. They believe that the answer to their insecurities lays 'out there' (i.e. in impressing other people).

Some may get away with it, but as long as they're living a lie, they're not going to have any kind of inner peace, which (I think) is the basis of real confidence.

Having said all that, I know I've been there myself, and had the false belief that the way to be happy and secure is to impress other people.

Originally posted by Jamie
They may appear confident (well, actually just loud) externally, but internally they are mess of insecurities. They believe that the answer to their insecurities lays 'out there' (i.e. in impressing other people).

Some may get away with it, but as long as they're living a lie, they're not going to have any kind of inner peace, which (I think) is the basis of real confidence.

Having said all that, I know I've been there myself, and had the false belief that the way to be happy and secure is to impress other people.

Well said that man. :thumbsup: