Jabberwocky
13-03-2008, 11:49
Went into town this morning and although theres nothing much to report, a couple of things sprang to my attention, for example..
Ok, We were in Home bargains and I saw some underpants and bought them and as we were at the checkout the lady there told me "These are non returnable" and I said "Thats ok, you wouldnt want `em back after Ive worn `em anyway" and she gave me the funny look that I so often get from shop assistants and...
We were standing at the bus stop, me, the OH, and the one year old was in her buggy, behind us were a couple of old dears and behind them was a bit of blonde totty.
We were standing there, as you do, muttering about the cold and somebody, without fuss, bother or warning, farted.
Now, being British, we all tried to ignore what had happened, but I think my OH may not be British through and through, maybe shes a pale Asian or a very pale Jamaican or something because she looked at me and said loudly "Was that you? That was you wasnt it!?"
Then she started to laugh loudly.
I shussssssshed her but that didnt do any good, she continued laughing- perhaps 6 years of having me in her life has finally taken its toll because she laughed and laughed and laughed.
Then the stink hit her.
That shut her up.
If it was one of the old dears who dropped it, then Id say they were already dead, because NO ONE alive would stink that bad! Even I dont stink that bad and I eat all sorts of garbage.
And yes, the OH just HAD to comment on it.
Finally, and the thing that stood out in todays trilogy of excitement for me was when I was in The British Heart Foundation shop looking for a book or two, there were a couple of middle aged, middle class ladys standing talking at the counter and being a bit of a nosey git, I unashamedly eavesdropped.
Lady 1/ `Where are you going for your holidays this year? Are you looking forward to them?`
Lady 2/ `Yes, I cant wait to get to the sun but I have to get my operation out of the way first`
Lady 1/ `Oh, where are you going?`
Lady 2/ `BUPA`
Lady 1/ `Bupa? Never heared of it, wheres that? Spain?`
Lady 2/ `No no no dear I thought you meant where was I having my operation, and no, we dont go to SPAIN anymore, we havent been for about ten years now, we find that lower class people and people who cant afford a PROPER holiday go to places like Spain so we spend that little bit more money and opt for somewhere a lot more up market, we never go to places like THAT anymore!`
Lady 1/ `Oh I see.... so then, where are you headed for?`
Lady 2/ `Lloret`
I.... I.... did a little wee...
Ok, We were in Home bargains and I saw some underpants and bought them and as we were at the checkout the lady there told me "These are non returnable" and I said "Thats ok, you wouldnt want `em back after Ive worn `em anyway" and she gave me the funny look that I so often get from shop assistants and...
We were standing at the bus stop, me, the OH, and the one year old was in her buggy, behind us were a couple of old dears and behind them was a bit of blonde totty.
We were standing there, as you do, muttering about the cold and somebody, without fuss, bother or warning, farted.
Now, being British, we all tried to ignore what had happened, but I think my OH may not be British through and through, maybe shes a pale Asian or a very pale Jamaican or something because she looked at me and said loudly "Was that you? That was you wasnt it!?"
Then she started to laugh loudly.
I shussssssshed her but that didnt do any good, she continued laughing- perhaps 6 years of having me in her life has finally taken its toll because she laughed and laughed and laughed.
Then the stink hit her.
That shut her up.
If it was one of the old dears who dropped it, then Id say they were already dead, because NO ONE alive would stink that bad! Even I dont stink that bad and I eat all sorts of garbage.
And yes, the OH just HAD to comment on it.
Finally, and the thing that stood out in todays trilogy of excitement for me was when I was in The British Heart Foundation shop looking for a book or two, there were a couple of middle aged, middle class ladys standing talking at the counter and being a bit of a nosey git, I unashamedly eavesdropped.
Lady 1/ `Where are you going for your holidays this year? Are you looking forward to them?`
Lady 2/ `Yes, I cant wait to get to the sun but I have to get my operation out of the way first`
Lady 1/ `Oh, where are you going?`
Lady 2/ `BUPA`
Lady 1/ `Bupa? Never heared of it, wheres that? Spain?`
Lady 2/ `No no no dear I thought you meant where was I having my operation, and no, we dont go to SPAIN anymore, we havent been for about ten years now, we find that lower class people and people who cant afford a PROPER holiday go to places like Spain so we spend that little bit more money and opt for somewhere a lot more up market, we never go to places like THAT anymore!`
Lady 1/ `Oh I see.... so then, where are you headed for?`
Lady 2/ `Lloret`
I.... I.... did a little wee...