We're climbing the walls. Adam is now 12.5 weeks old and is getting to be a pain in the bum..although his smile belies the fact he has zombie parents!

He seems to be going through a growth spurt so sleep is out the window. He (and I) also have a cold apiece and it's a lot of snot and chesty coughs and upset...and that's just me!

To top it all, 12.5 weeks if new motherhood has rendered me sleepless and I have insomnia, it's horrific.

Please tell me it gets better. He's gone from almost sleeping through to waking every 2-3 hours.....aarrggghhhh!!

I will get better, I promise :)

It will, up to then try to rest whenever he does.

Make also sure that you are eating well and keep your fluid levels up and get out of the house for walks as much as possible. The fresh air is good for you and him.

i've got a 14 month old who wakes every couple of hours......sorry lol!
I agree with the other comments though, rest whenever he does and forget the housework ect.. eat and drink plenty too for energy, good luck hun!

First of all, I know you will have read honeyb's post with horror - please remember she is in the minority to have a child still suffering so badly from sleep problems that late on (sorry to pick on you, honeyb, but as someone who suffered very badly from lack of sleep in my child's early months, I remember that any comment like that was equivalent to mental torture to me, and as there is no reason to assume the OP will suffer the same, and absolutely certain that scaring her won't help her state of mind at the moment, I think it's worth picking up on).

Zweena, it will pass. If you are now suffering from insomnia as well as a child that sleeps very little, I know how you feel. I couldn't sleep when my baby slept because I couldn't sleep full stop. I thought I was going to go mad. In my case it was anxiety made worse by PND. I kept thinking, I'll get to sleep an he'll start crying, or the phone will wake me, or the dog will bark. I would lie in bed absolutely desperate to sleep, and soooooo tired, and the longer it went on, the worse it got.

My best advice is to work on how you can get yourself to sleep, as baby may be going through a growth spurt or something similar, and it will pass if you follow all the usual things about quiet night feeds, etc.
Can you get someone to take the baby away for a good long time - say three hours at least - so you know you will have that time uninterrupted? I found I had to be guaranteed I would not be woken up before I could finally let go.
Relaxation exercises, relaxing baths, warm milk, massage - do whatever you need to do to help with the insomnia.

When you are finally getting at least some sleep, you will feel better able to cope with whatever baby throws at you. Can you come to a deal with your partner to help out at night? Scientific studies reveal that you need FOUR HOURS UNINTERRUPTED sleep to cope like a human being. If you can work it out so that both of you get the opportunity to get that four hours, that may be a big help. Even if your partner is working, they should do it anyway - you will both get healthier, longer sleep more quickly if you help each other out through this.

As for baby, there are most likely techniques you can use to help encourage a 3 month old to sleep more, but I think you should get advice from someone who - unlike me - knows what they're talking about. Names I would look for include Dr Green; also the no-cry sleep method...it's likely some of the lovely people on here will have some fantastic suggestions

Good luck and big hugs xxx. And if you do think you're starting to suffer from anxiety, or getting more depressed than you think you should be, do seek help from your health visitor or GP. I so wish I had. My first few months with cosycub were blighted with MY lack of sleep, as well as his, and I wish I'd addressed it earlier.

I apologise, no intention of scaring anyone, must be my lack of sleep....

I apologise, no intention of scaring anyone, must be my lack of sleep....

Lol. I just think it's easy to forget how easily a simple comment can send someone who is sleepless and still hormonal into a complete tailspin.
Maybe I was particularly sensitive, but I know that suggesting I could spend the next 11 MONTHS without sleep would have been the end of me.

Of course, you will know how it feels to have that 14 months, and my insides curl up in complete sympathy, but I just HAD to point out that it doesn't happen to everyone, and to fewer than it does.

Thanks all, needed the support! Cosywolf you're right - when you're sleep deprived even the most light-hearted comment can make you want to run away screaming! I am certain that Adam can sleep better though - until the past two nights we had a 7-6am sleep and another 8 hour stretch, so if he can do those that once I'm sure he'll do it again. Hence I think this really WILL pass as these are the hardest two nights we've had in this time, he usually only wakes once which is pretty good for his young age.

Luckily my OH is up with me most of the time. It does make for two very tired people, but I could have (and might have!) kissed him this morning when he brought me a lemsip while LO was guzzling. He also feeds expressed milk to Adam so I can have the sleep....it's just my brain that won't let me! I worry incessently about the same stuff you did - I can almost feel the 'wires' in my brain going on a short-circuit and worrying round and round. Despite the insomnia though, the short sleeps I had last night were good, all down to sleeping in a different bed. I find that a stint on my own in the spare room seems to break the cycle, or I start to associate the main bed as a night of no sleep. It also irks me to lie next to a heavy sleeper who gently snores while I get panicky over the next sound!

I am going to sit it out til next week, and if it doens't get better, go to the GP. I've had so many people as well telling me that if i stopped breastfeeding it might help, but for me that isn't a solution - I love breastfeeding too much and want to continue.

No, I don't see why it would help to stop breastfeeding. Especially if you can express.

I wish I could tell you what finally got me round the corner and sleeping again - maybe sheer, absolute exhaustion, lol - so I could help more.

All I can do is say, it will pass, it WILL.

And yes, people who snore next to you should have their noses pinched...hard! Lol.

Just another reassurance that it DOES get better - even though at the moment it feels like it won't !! I remember sitting on the bedroom floor in the middle of the night sobbing "it has to get better than this or else no one would ever have a second child!!".... and it did! :)

We found that making use of the spare room helped. One night I would sleep in there with the door shut tight so i couldn't hear any noises and OH got up when necessary - and the next night he would sleep in there so he could catch up sleep and function at work! Not ideal from a relationship point of view... but it certainly helped at the time.

And as for men happily snoring away while you lay there knackered but wide awake.... well, what can I say :roll: ..... just the most annoying thing!!!!

My tip is to feed the baby at bedtime - i.e. your bedtime if he goes up earlier. Ours doesn't, he stays downstairs and usually drifts off in his bouncer, then goes to bed at 11pm - he doesn't always wake then but if he does, he has as much milk as he can take as it helps him sleep through. We've done this from him being about 4 weeks old due to colic, and from about 8 weeks he could sleep through from 11/12 to 7/8. And if he does wake in the night - give him no fuss.

As for sleeping, I had chronic insomnia years back and ever since I've tried to think of either factual or spatial things as I go to sleep - things like trying to remember the periodic table or designing buildings in my head.

My tip is to feed the baby at bedtime - i.e. your bedtime if he goes up earlier. Ours doesn't, he stays downstairs and usually drifts off in his bouncer, then goes to bed at 11pm - he doesn't always wake then but if he does, he has as much milk as he can take as it helps him sleep through. We've done this from him being about 4 weeks old due to colic, and from about 8 weeks he could sleep through from 11/12 to 7/8. And if he does wake in the night - give him no fuss.

As for sleeping, I had chronic insomnia years back and ever since I've tried to think of either factual or spatial things as I go to sleep - things like trying to remember the periodic table or designing buildings in my head.

We feed him at 7 and he goes to bed then again at 11, either a dreamfeed or a wake one - he does go back down. One thing I am curious about though is how much to give at the 7pm feed? He does tend to suckle for ages at 7 but I wonder if we need him to actually take less and then give more at 11?

The real trouble starts once they get in their teens, Want to swap?:P Only jesting wouldn't swap him for all the tea in china but it will get better, saying that we have become night owls ever since ours was born :|

Breastfeeding was the thing that helped me get more sleep as I would feed baby in bed and could sleep whilst he was feeding (you may not be feeling brave enough for this at 12 weeks but unless you're under the influence, co-sleeping is incredibly safe). Also, when you breastfeed, the "feel good" hormones are also sleep inducing so I would usually have a sleep with my baby whenever he had a feed. Even now at 16 months I sometimes go to bed when he does (6.30 pm!). There's nothing like 12-ish hours sleep (even if broken) for helping you feel rested.

I did a "sleep" search on Kellymom.com. I don't know if any of these links help? http://www.picosearch.com/cgi-bin/ts.pl

Sorry if you feel too tired to read them. Sleep deprivation is awful. It does get better, or it at least gets different. Be warned though, sleep progress is not linear so don't be conned like I was into thinking once my child slept through, that would be the norm! I think ultimately you also get used to having less sleep.

I recall the same torture with our girls but our technique saved us, after 10.5 weeks of torture and hell we did sleep training but on a very short time and mild scale and we got our lives back a little. We watched films again, talked, ate meals together and basically developed some normality.
AFter hat, everytime the girls fell off the wagon we did the sleep training routine again. It has invariably worked for al the hiccups since, putting them in their own room, teething, moving house.
Is there anyone you can do shifts with in the daytime? You watch the kids for two hours and they sleep and then swap?

It will get better. I was so tired by 4 months that I made the mistake of listening to people that said giving a bottle of formula before bed would help. It didn't!! I did co-sleeping for a while too and enjoyed it, especially waking up next to a little smiler in the morning. Trying to fit in a warm bath before bed might help you relax and get your fella to give you a massage. Don't worry about asking friends and family for help - they will not mind. Breathing exercises helped me relax before naps (breathe in slowly for a count of 4, or what ever feels comfortable, then out slowly for a count of 5 or 6, extending your out breath like in labour). Lettuce is meant to help you sleep too so eat lots of salads!
Remember it is normal for your little one not to be sleeping well, you are not doing anything wrong. You could try baby massage as this can help with some babies sleep routines. I am an IAIM baby massage instructor and have a class in Crookes in April, see www.freewebs.com/westsheffieldbabymassage but that may not be soon enough for you. Ring Sheffield Information Link for a list of other classes or ask your Health Visitor if she is trained.
Remember to look after yourself and share how you are feeling.

Hi, I was wondering (like Rozie Pozie) if you are co sleeping?
I co slept from day 1 until my little girl was about 8 months, and I only managed to BF for 2 weeks! So well done for sticking to it even though you are exhausted - but don't feel bad if you do actually want to, or do, give up.
If the thought of co -sleeping does not scare you then I would suggest trying it, but as you are so tired, go to bed early evening with baby and get your partner to stay awake and watch tv or something for a few hours to make sure baby doesn't fall out of the bed!!! etc.
Also, just a suggestion, but you could introduce a night time formula (only for night times) as you can still express and BF, but because the night time formula will be thicker (probably) than your breast milk, it will take baby longer to digest meaning he/she sleeps a bit longer.

I hope I have not offended anyone by suggesting that OP co-sleeps or bottle feeds, it just worked for me.
xxx

No offense to be taken, there, pinkjo. BUT I would have to point out that if I remember correctly, guidelines suggest the co-sleeping parents shouldn't be exhausted (as well as a few other requirements) which in this case, I would suggest the OP was. So this may not be a god time to start.
And, you may not like me mentioning it, those of you who co-sleep, but there is a risk. However, the majority get on fine - I would just suggest looking into it carefully first to make sure you understand when times might be risky - on medication, when one partner smokes, etc etc.

Also, just a suggestion, but you could introduce a night time formula (only for night times) as you can still express and BF, but because the night time formula will be thicker (probably) than your breast milk, it will take baby longer to digest meaning he/she sleeps a bit longer.


xxx
I realise this advice is well meant and it may work for you but I don't advocate 'night time formula'. Many people give their kids a second milk or similar at night and we even tried it out of desperation for a while but my advice would be not to bother.
Your breast milk is generally enough, although of course there are exceptions.
Formula is not created in the same way and second milk is a ridiculous marketing tool, babies, even those who are fully formula fed rarely ever need more than first milk. Those exeptions are normally large babies, normally 6 months + with a voracious appetite.
There was a recent thread with links regarding the levels of human milk versus cow or formula milk.

|EDIT: http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showpost.php?p=3124679&postcount=12

We feed him at 7 and he goes to bed then again at 11, either a dreamfeed or a wake one - he does go back down. One thing I am curious about though is how much to give at the 7pm feed? He does tend to suckle for ages at 7 but I wonder if we need him to actually take less and then give more at 11?

I'd say let him have as much as he will take in an evening! Our lad rarely has a full bottle last thing and some nights he may fall asleep around 9pm and when he's taken up he stays asleep so we do not feed him then. However, if his teething is bothering him (your boy might be starting with the teeth by now?) he may have a restless half hour in the night. If he does, I leave him unless he's distressed.

And I have to laugh as the day I posted on here, he would just not go to sleep that night when put in his cot!!! And what's more, he woke at 4am for the first time in weeks. Murphy's Law ;) Then last night I couldn't get off as I was somehow waiting for him to wake up. My tip there is to think to yourself "Oh well, I'll just lie with my eyes closed, it's as good as a sleep anwyay" and when I do that I usually drift off. Fingers crossed I've not taunted the Sleep Gods again...:D

A dummy helps in the night. It does with our lad, if he does wake a bit, I half wake, pop it in and he will get himself off again with luck.

I admit I do like a nap in the afternoon still if I can get one ;) I often find myself stirring a few times in the night just to check he's OK but I've got used to broken sleep due to years of night terrors! Which is why I'd never dare co-sleep. I have one of those tiny booklights to shine on him and the glow off the temperature 'Egg' helps.

Some info - he's formula feeding on demand (he has set his own pattern now), and I do 8oz bottles in case he wants a full one, C&G Comfort, he's almost 5 months old and 19lbs, he sleeps next to our bed in his cot.

I realise this advice is well meant and it may work for you but I don't advocate 'night time formula'. Many people give their kids a second milk or similar at night and we even tried it out of desperation for a while but my advice would be not to bother.
Your breast milk is generally enough, although of course there are exceptions.
Formula is not created in the same way and second milk is a ridiculous marketing tool, babies, even those who are fully formula fed rarely ever need more than first milk. Those exeptions are normally large babies, normally 6 months + with a voracious appetite.
There was a recent thread with links regarding the levels of human milk versus cow or formula milk.

|EDIT: http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showpost.php?p=3124679&postcount=12
I'd second that. I know so many mums who introduced formula or even early solids with the hope that it would help baby sleep and it didn't. Whilst I'm not questioning that the poster's babay's sleep improved it is unlikely to be causally linked to the night time formula feed.

The Government recommends exclusive breast feeding for the first six months and this is because exclusive breast feeding is the best way to ensure you maintain breast feeding and give your baby the full benefit of bf. It's the baby suckling that ensures there's enough milk to supply the baby and as a consequence the introduction of formula can be a slippery slope as less sucking = less breast milk.