My son is 2 and a half and i really felt like I was struggling today. Does anyone else have those days when you feel like the worst mum in the world. I've had a normal day. Playing with him, trying to do housework etc. But it was one thing after another and he seemed to leave a trial of mess behind him whatever he did. And as he didn't sleep well last night he was in quite a grumpy mood all day, which is hard work in itself! the final straw was when I was in my room getting ready and I popped my head into his room and he had done a wee on the floor. He NEVER does that now! Always asks to go to the toilet, and even takes his self off sometimes. He then poored glitter on top of the puddle off wee. I dealt with this by walking off and crying my eyes out. Just felt I couldn't cope. On onehand i'm always worrying about the house been tidy, but on the other I feel guilty that i'm putting a load of washing in and not playing with him. And then when i am playing with him, i am thinking about the state of the house. As much as people tell me to chill out, i just can't! I know he is more important than the housework etc but it doesn't stop me worrying! I seem to have lost all of my routine and spend the day doing bits and bobs with him and doing everything else. And still, the house is a mess by bedtime! So i can't even relax when he is in bed. But by then i am soo tired, i can't be bothered to do anything!

I know i have gone on but i really have had a bad day today, and don't want to feel like I am going mad! Maybe i'm ready for a holiday. Or a cleaner! xxx

been there, done that, still have felt tip pen marks on freshly replastered wall...you have my sympathy, but you have to be honest - glitter on wee is actually quite funny ;).

in all seriousness it sounds like you need a break. i hate people to see my house messy (it's like admitting tha tI can't cope with something as simple as cleaning), but realistically you're the only one that really minds as long as it isn't a health hazard. Give yourself a break - stop tidying and cleaning other than teh bare essentials (cooking stuff, I suppose) for a week, spend the evenings slumped in front of the tv with your mouth slightly open and a glazed look on your face or trying not to fall asleep in the bath, and then only clean everything once at the end of the week - see if you dont' feel a bit better for not even making an effort to tidy. Also, consider going out with him more - playgroups etc dont' mind how much mess he makes, and the weather isn't too bad for playing outside.

That sounds really familiar- I have days like this all the time! My son often simply empties a container of bits like a jigsaw or cotton reels onto the floor then walks off. It's completely maddening. I know exactly what you mean about the cleaning, I think it's worse when you're having a day at home when it's awful weather like today- you notice stuff that you could do and kind of get into doing it then you realise little one is following you about whinging. You feel guilty for not wanting to interact with them, annoyed that they can't amuse themselves for a few minutes and incapable of achieving even a little bit of order or be patient enthusiastic mum! And if you're tired it's so much worse!

The good news is that you are not mad. The bad news is that you are so normal you might not like it.
We ALL have those days (I think I have more than my fair share sometimes :D ).
There are days where I'm ready to quit it all by noon. Other days it's a shame they've gone to bed cos we've had so much fun.
Our twins both whipped off their nappies when Daddy nipped to the loo and wee'd on the new carpets and one of them (Twingle 2 you might know!) poo'd in the bath and she hasn't done that since she was very small. I have no idea what possessed her but it was disgusting!
If they and/or you are tired it magnifies everything tenfold and makes it all so much more difficult to deal with.
Wednesday was my 'you have to be joking' day and I was glad to go to bed when it finally ended at 2am!
Make sure to get some time away from junior, get some sanity time alone and echarge your batteries a bit. If there's no other excuses it's Mother's Day Sunday and no one can realistically deny you a bit of peace :)

Oh - the housework, there's a balance. I do the same stuff 'argh guilt must play more', 'argh guilt, must clean more'. So, I get the girls to help load the washing machine, they think that's fun (suckers!) and I insist on them taking part in tidy-up-time.
I do the basics which must be done and leave some to deal with after they go to bed and if I'm really struggling they have an afternoon nap or a slightly early night to allow me to get on top of it.
As long as you have a balance you are hitting some part of each of the sensitive nerves so you can forgive yourself.

awwww hun i really feel for you.

i think we have all had days like this where we feel the weight of the world is on our shoulders, try not to put too much pressure on yourself...:)
i know its easier said than done cos i like to have everything tidy aswell and its really hard with my 2 causing chaos wherever they go too.But you are doing a fantastic job looking after your child and finding time to play with him too.

try and take an hour off, put your feet up and have a cuppa...:)

hope you are feeling ok soon xxx

thanks everyone! I think i just needed to know I wasn't the only one. If someone else had posted what I have done, I would say "sod the cleaning and enjoy him!" But its harder taking your own advice isn't it. I just think I need to get into a new routine with him. He is getting older so his needs are changing and I can't expect him to sit in a chair for half an hour while i'm doing the ironing! when he was younger it was great as I had my me time (when he had naps etc) and i had us time where I would play with him and read books. but it all mingles into one now, and I can't concentrate on one thing. But you have all made me feel abit better. Tomorrow is a new day. My lovely bloke has told me to go off and do what I want tomorrow ( i had post natal depression when I first had my son, so he is always on hand to help me out when i'm looking abit shaky again) so the plan is that i am taking my son out in the morning for a few hours while my bloke does all the bits and bobs in the house and then in the afternoon he is going look after the little one while I go for a facial. I do feel guilty about even doing that, as I don't want my bloke to get stessed to, but i'm going to give it a go! xxxx

Don't he'll enjoy it and is helping you in a practical way. As he's doing the jobs in the morning with the little one out the way he wan't be trying to achieve anything other than enjoy being with him in the afternoon so is less likely to get stressed! Enjoy the facial!

Hi faloola, I'm a bit new on here so hi to everyone else too! I really feel for you struggling to find a balance coping with house and son, but I giggled so much at the glitter on the wee - give him a big hug just for how funny that was! You will be able to tell that story at his wedding/18th birthday etc! My kids are 12 and 16 now, but I remember only too well having to panic-tidy when someone was coming round, because I couldn't manage to keep things running smoothly. (Not much better these days tho...!!) Why don't you keep a record of the glittery wee and other cute and gorgeous memories in a notebook; over the months and years they will make you smile and remind you of his early years! :) I had 2 close friends with same age babies/toddlers back in the early 90s, we used to go round each other's houses for coffee and chitchat regularly, and we would show each other our bedrooms, kids' bedrooms, bathrooms, understairs cupboards etc, in fact all the places you really want to hide from the public! We found it hugely therapeutic, seeing other people's mess and realising it wasn't just us! You do have to be close friends though to be that brave!! Anyway, enjoy the facial tomorrow, it sounds as though you deserve it! X

OK, here's a tip from someone who survived motherhood several times...

Kids don't really know the difference between play and work. If you let him join in the housework and treat it as a game, you get it done and he has fun. Even at that age, a child can put things in the washing machine, wipe things with a damp cloth and pick things up off the floor - it's all about how you involve him. I know it's bizarre, but "Come on, lets play load-the-washing-machine"is quite as inviting as "come on, lets play with lego" to a two year-old.

If you do that, you won't feel pulled two ways all the time.

You have bad days sometimes. They pass. By the time they are teenagers, you have *TERRIBLE* days instead.

Hi, I just want to thank everyone for your kind words and advice. And yes, i do agree the glitter on wee was funny! I am feeling abit better and am putting things into perspective now. I know the bad days come and go, but the other day was particular bad. But its so nice to hear your stories and to know i'm actually quite normal! xxx

Just a quick note of my inabilitity to cope on 'those days' I have two kids of my own and have been at the point of wanting to abandon the little ratbags in the supermarket. Only trouble is i then have crazy nightmares that i have abandoned them and wake up in tears. We get nothing done in our house. I spend all day cleaning working my way round the house, turn round to find it looking like a scene from a poltorgeist movie. Apparently in our house 'help mummy clean up' means turn the dining table into a den, go and fetch all your toys and tip a packet of biscuits and a couple of yoghurts onto the floor to make a lovely tea party paste. Now with the addition of my partners son for half of the week and a new baby on the way i think i will just throw in the towel and start liking biscuit yoghurt mush. :D You seem to be doing a wonderful job, we all have bad days like that. Just close the door to it, go out with your little one and come back to it when your feeling better. x