Sometimes I get really lonely. I access the Forum and that helps a bit sometimes, but what do you do when you are feeling really lonely?

Is there anything worse than feeling lonely when you are not alone?

Please give me your ideas, I think I really need some...

For general "on-my-own" kind of loneliness, my pets keep me company and stop me from getting lonely. If this is the problem, would it be possible for you to get a furry friend? Also singing and dancing round the house to nice loud music helps me too.

But the "lonely-but-not-alone" kind of loneliness is so hard to deal with and I can't think of many worse things.

I suspect there are no quick fixes for this and you need to figure out why you are feeling isolated (at home, or work, or whatever this is about). Do you have someone to talk to about it?

Don't be afraid to feel the feelings, even if they hurt; it will help you to get to the bottom of it. It may take a long time, but will be worth it.

And the Forum will always be here when you need us!:)
Take care

I goto a bar and if the bar's empty I talk to the staff!

what about an african grey parrott, someone to chat with and unlike a women you can put it in the spare room and it wont bother you. :heyhey: :heyhey:

Hiya Hels

I think you need to take a good look at yourself. What are your interests, what do you like to do? How could you meet like-minded people?

Once you have that information join groups or start a college course. After that comes the tricky part - talking to people. Get to know THEM, show an interest in THEIR lives and you'll find that real friendship follows.

Remember too, that you're a person with feelings and a good heart and that someone out there loves you. Not me, I don't know you, but there are people who do care, I'm sure.

Maybe you could write letters when you're feeling down, or keep a journal so that you can look back on the good times and use it as a learning experience. I'm not one of them, but there are people who do write letters and picking up and reading a letter from a friend can make all the difference when you're feeling low. My mum was an inveterate letter-writer in life and she received letters from all over the world. I thought she was just a nosy old sod, but showing an interest and asking how people are doing does bear dividends.

Good luck to you Hels, and God bless xx

Try and find someone on the forum that has things in common with you, when you find them, send a PM, and from there you can have a friend who you can talk too.I found a friend on here, it started with the autism thread, and from there we contact each other most days, and it's suprising just how many things you have in common.

Originally posted by Hels
Sometimes I get really lonely. I access the Forum and that helps a bit sometimes, but what do you do when you are feeling really lonely?

Is there anything worse than feeling lonely when you are not alone?

Please give me your ideas, I think I really need some...

Music works wonders for me.. I've just bought a guitar and I still there merrily strumming along to myself.

Its a wonderful cure for boredom and loneliness.

There are one or two 'Forum pub meets' on the go if you fancy a bit of socialising. I think there may be a regular one where quite a few people go, at the Devonshire cat in town on a sunday....
Tried searching on here for it but could not find...... maybe someone could advise. :thumbsup:

Originally posted by brooksy
what about an african grey parrott, someone to chat with and unlike a women you can put it in the spare room and it wont bother you. :heyhey: :heyhey:

Not entirely true, as African Greys are best kept in contact with people as much as possible through the day :) Put an African Grey in a room on its own and if he/she can hear somebody else in the house they don't shut up!

Best cure 4 loneliness ...

Help someone else find their cure 4 loneliness ...

Their cure may even be you ;)

People are lovely xx

Originally posted by Hels


... Is there anything worse than feeling lonely when you are not alone? ...

That points to a profound question. What does it mean to feel lonely when you are not alone?

My take: if you are lonely within a crowd, it's a question of having the courage and confidence to strike up a conversation/rapport with someone else in the crowd. If you are lonely within a relationship, then there is something blocking you from feeling comfortable and valued as yourself in the relationship.

What to do about that? Talking to your partner about how you feel is the first step. Difficulties arise when your partner won't/can't handle the scrutiny.

Don't want to speculate further as I don't know the specifics of your situation, Hels.

Originally posted by Hels
Sometimes I get really lonely. I access the Forum and that helps a bit sometimes, but what do you do when you are feeling really lonely?

Is there anything worse than feeling lonely when you are not alone?

Please give me your ideas, I think I really need some...
Sorry Hels, I didn't read your post correctly, therefore my 'forum meet' reply may have been inappropriate?
Draggle.

"lonely but not alone" cant think of a worse feeling in the world.I once felt the same, even though i had lots of very good friends and a very large loving family. My solution was to look long and hard at why i felt like this, which you are obviously now doing Hels,and, it meant putting an end to a long term relationship. This isn't a solution i am recommending but it was the right one for me. I agree with Moving On about writing, I started keeping a journal that i would write in things which made me really happy and things when i felt low i would express. I still do this and also set goals for myself- sort of a way of reminding myself not to ever feel that alone again. I dont know if this helps in anyway but at least you recognise that there is a problem and are looking for solutions. I hope you can solve it and start feeling more content and happy soon. x

CBT( Cognitive Behaviour therapy) really helped me
There is also a free counselling service if you live near The Healthy Living Centre at Upperthorpe.
Seeing all your positive attributes and turning around the way you think about yoursef really helps

Good Luck

Lonely but not alone is a very sad state to be in.

If the feeling refers to a specific relationship, then one has to look at it from the point of view of 'is the other person also lonely'? and if so, 'Would you be better off being apart so that you could both establish new friendships?'

If the feeling refers to being with any other people then don't label yourself lonely - just label yourself as shy.

We all suffer from it - even folks who are the life and soul of the party occasionally have bad days and almost certainly started as shy as the rest of us in some situations.

Many people get good at hiding shyness - perhaps one option might be to arrange to come to one of the forum meets with someone that you feel is friendly from the Forum - as someone said, find someone with similar interests and PM them and see what happens. You may geta few rebufs or even not have your PM answered - that's nothing to do with you it's just taht some folks are a little rude... :) Anyone PMing me will always get an answer, even if it's 'Sorry...busy...can't talk now...later' :)

Take care, be good to yourself, and good things will come back.

Joe

hi Hels,


Id be more than happy to go to a Forum meet with you, if you want to go.

lots of love

rach

Hi Hels

I thought you were brave making your post. I was really touched by your honesty. Did any of the ideas help? Do you feel less lonely having read all the lovely suggestions?

I think sometimes you have to move yourself outside of your 'comfort zone' and see what happens, even though this can be hard. You never know what's beyond it, waiting for you, or who is, for that matter!

Good luck :)

When are the forum meets? I'd like to go to one, but i wouldn't go on my own either! Perhaps a few of us could meet before the meet if that makes sense, so we'd feel more confident to meet the rest of the crew.

Originally posted by Hels
Sometimes I get really lonely. I access the Forum and that helps a bit sometimes, but what do you do when you are feeling really lonely?

Is there anything worse than feeling lonely when you are not alone?

Please give me your ideas, I think I really need some...

the only advise I can give you (and it never helps me :D ) is that the only way you stop being lonely in company is to:

a: work out what you are unhappy about and try and resolve it

or

b find like minded people.

Think about what you enjoy and think about doing something round that.

**hugs**

Hiya Hels

I hope you've managed to resolve your feelings from last week - and I hope you've thought long and hard about some of the offers from the people on this thread some of which seem very genuine.

Good luck hun