As some of you may know, I'm the father to a now 7 month old baby boy. I've loved him from the moment he came into this world, but as I have had no experience with children everything came as a bit of a shock, the sleepless nights and constant attention that they require. All this left me feeling a bit shell shocked to say the least, but last week something really clicked. I now feel like a proper dad!
Its probably because he's getting more independant and a hell of a lot more smiley that everything really started to fall into place, and I felt like I am now a father to him.
The thing is, now I feel bad about not feelinglike this from the start, but I seemed to be in a daze for the first 6 months of his life.

Has any other dads felt like this or does it make me a bad dad?

my OH was shocking when i first fell pregnant he was walking round in a daze and just couldnt handle it! i think all men go through that stage several times and i think its part of being a father and trust me mums go through it too! its so nice though that men are playing such an active part in their babies lives these days too!

As some of you may know, I'm the father to a now 7 month old baby boy. I've loved him from the moment he came into this world, but as I have had no experience with children everything came as a bit of a shock, the sleepless nights and constant attention that they require. All this left me feeling a bit shell shocked to say the least, but last week something really clicked. I now feel like a proper dad!
Its probably because he's getting more independant and a hell of a lot more smiley that everything really started to fall into place, and I felt like I am now a father to him.
The thing is, now I feel bad about not feelinglike this from the start, but I seemed to be in a daze for the first 6 months of his life.

Has any other dads felt like this or does it make me a bad dad?

NO!!! It doesn't make you a bad dad. I'm sure you're not the only one - and Mum's can feel like this too :) The first months ARE hard and are a huge shock to the system, and being totally honest you don't always get a lot back!

Don't beat yourself up about what's already gone (the first 6 months) - just enjoy your little boy now, and don't let the worries taint that!

I'm actually a Mum who didn't feel like a Mum or that I wanted to be the Mum for the first 9 months. I hated it, was depressed and basically, all I remember from that period of my life is feeling like I was in black hole, no future, no present, it was dreadful. Mine was a slower realisation that I was a Mum and enjoying it in a fashion. I have looked back and feel awful for the fact that I missed out on so much in the first 9 months, in a sense, like you say in a daze. I know someone who took to it like a duck to water. I wish I could have been like that, but I try not to let it get me down, and enjoy what I have now.

So no I don't think you are a bad Dad, just someone like me, who took a little longer getting used to being a parent.

I'm a father of twins girls who are now just under 2 and a half. When they were first born I felt no emotion towards them at all, I felt my partner had a head start towards the whole "love" thing as she had carried them for nine months.
For me it took until they were nearly one before I stopped feeling resentful for the changes they had made to my life. I viewed them as parasites as opposed to my children and sometimes felt like they were doing things to spite me (stupid I know) . No father that I spoke to has the slightest idea what to expect when it is their first, It's a whole new experience how could you know?
You're not alone in what you felt I'm with you for a start and on the plus side things continue to get better. My two are hilarious now not a day goes by they don't make me laugh. It might be twingle 1 trying to climb UP the stairs feet first or twingle 2 smelling your bum when you fart, it just gets better. Here's to the next 50 years. ;)

When he says twingle 1 goes feet first - he means that she is lying down on the stairs and going feet first - otherwise that would just be too normal for our girls:D
She kinda shuffles up in way which is mostly impossible!

It can start out hellishly, or it can start out dreamily...no matter what, I think finally you feel more and more and more love for them and more and more amazement every day. It just gets better and better.

I too was in a haze of misery and very much like a rabbit in headlamps for the first few months, but in the end I just couldn't resist the love sneaking up on me, and now I feel like I couldn't swell up any more with love and pride or I'll pop, only to find it still grows more every day.

God, I'm squishy!