Just like all the other "link" threads, but ....

1) Your reply doesn't have to start with the last letter of the previous post.

and

2) Your post must have NOTHING (or as little as possible) to do with the preceeding one.

I'll start with ....

Giant stone robots with busses for eyes.

over to you.

bottoms up said the pyjamas

antimacassers

revolutionary popguns

dairy milk turkish delight

ok then , how do you know graham norton isn't bella embergs mother ?

what's the matter with the switchboard it's singing

There ISN'T "A house in New Orleans"

it's not the way I tell them is it?

Cod Wars .....

water on the knee to blame for laddered tights

grotesquely orange coloured beef flavoured wall

weirdos attend pukefest

Bus Conductors (without Batons)

electrified curtains

don't shake hands rub noses

Watch out lads! The turnips are coming down.

don't get fat get obese

The Assyrian came down like a cockroach on heat

John Menzies

meat pies thrown by umpire

"Name your pairs!"

market traders diss their own goods

Roman candles light up fall of Empire

Leeds .........

everyone wants a slice of the cake

"How long have you been calling yourself Rodney, Dave?"

don't just stand there do something

Sale now on at DFS!

buy all your fancies here

Artex Monkeys

Simian and Garfunkel

Simian and Garfunkel

hmmmmmm thats a bit Tenuous....

Does "Simian" relate to Monkeys?



Time out!

hmmmmmm thats a bit Tenuous....

Does "Simian" relate to Monkeys?



Time out!

Yes it does

Preposterous fleas

Right!

Mulligatawny soup (Dragons)

Don't Roger the Rabbit...

Profiteroles of doom :hihi:

Where have all the Zebra Crossings Gone!! Have zebras stopped needing to cross the road??

What's this fish doing in my bed?

When's the best time for mushroom picking?

rain of frogs fills Albert Hall

I cannot make head nor tail of this thread. Will someone please explain it to me ? :huh:

I cannot make head nor tail of this thread. Will someone please explain it to me ? :huh:

It just needs anything that's surreal, and has no kind of link or connection with what precedes

It just needs anything that's surreal, and has no kind of link or connection with what precedes

Well you follow on from your last post on here and I will see if I can understand it ? :suspect:

millionth flea awarded prize in dog contest

Sorry, its the only thread to stump me ! :huh:

Sorry, its the only thread to stump me ! :huh:

I don't think it really matters what you put, so long as it's nonsense!

I don't think it really matters what you put, so long as it's nonsense!

Im not used to writing nonsense am I ?

Im not used to writing nonsense am I ?

Try thinking outside the box--put a few incongruous things together

Clocks go backwards when revolution of earth reverses

Try thinking outside the box--put a few incongruous things together

Clocks go backwards when revolution of earth reverses

Its clever Walt, but a bit above my thinking capability.

Under my dead body!

Whom is just womb with a breeze.

Under my dead body!

I think Ive got it !

I'm not sure if I am overwhelmed or underwhelmed...maybe I'll just be whelmed!! :D

Whom is just womb with a breeze.

Now that's a lot better!! Pretty good, actually

Scotch whisky mines too cheap to run

McFly on the wall documentary's (from BBC Scotland)

McFly on the wall documentary's (from BBC Scotland)

Oh dear, Crossers too good for me.:huh:

Surgeons are just fish without the t

An exlamation mark is a question mark with an erection.

An exlamation mark is a question mark with an erection.

Phew! coming on by leaps and bounds!

Clergymen and rottweilers wear dog collars, therefore clergymen are rottweilers

Love is just another four letter word.

Does the Queen really throw parties for Gardens?

Does the Queen really throw parties for Gardens?

Crosser, you are so good.But how do you think of them in the first place ?

I caaaaaan't do IT!! - (throws herself on floor...and screams!!) - Now look what you've done...I've terriified the cat!! :hihi::hihi::hihi:

Crosser, you are so good.But how do you think of them in the first place ?


Being a little "deranged" helps :hihi:

Being a little "deranged" helps :hihi:

I'd go with that

Spanish Main dries up as sailors use big straws

Why cant we drop on to sleep instead of dropping off.(not very good is it ? ) :(

I wonder if the "Guilty Bystanders" all got away Scott free?

I wonder if the "Guilty Bystanders" all got away Scott free?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAArgh!!:(

Why cant a personality be divided instead of being split.(any good?)

The Snark was a Boojum, you see!

Why cant a personality be divided instead of being split.(any good?)

Interesting question.

Split is where Diocletian's palace was built

Waltheof & Crosser, do you realise that I have piles of books surrounding me ? :hihi::hihi::hihi::hihi:

It's no good crying over split milk

It's no good crying over split milk

Or do you mean split milk? :D

Waltheof & Crosser, do you realise that I have piles of books surrounding me ? :hihi::hihi::hihi::hihi:

A wall of books? Not books with piles?

Or do you mean split milk? :D

Thats what he put isnt it ?:huh:

A wall of books? Not books with piles?

What am I going to do with you & Crosser. Tying me up in knots arent you ? :hihi::hihi::hihi:

Chris Evans....... He does I tell you, he evans here, he evans there, he evans all over the place! :|

Thats what he put isnt it ?:huh:

Exactly--so my question was a non-sequitur, wasn't it?

Does a lean chop, lean to the left or right ?

Yes (and No) :hihi:

Yes (and No) :hihi:

You are brilliant Crosser, but I wish you would learn me exactly how to do it !

You are brilliant Crosser, but I wish you would learn me exactly how to do it !

It's just a knack, and some people don't have the knack as I do :hihi::hihi:

It's just a knack, and some people don't have the knack as I do :hihi::hihi:

Go on, give us the knack ! :hihi::hihi:

Does the "Neighbourhood watch" keep good time?

Does the "Neighbourhood watch" keep good time?

I give in. There must be some way of doing it ! :hihi::hihi:

What's a good thing for a hangover?




















Plenty to drink the night before!!! :D

I went to an Auction today.....

What did you buy?

Oh, Lots!

I went to an Auction today.....

What did you buy?

Oh, Lots!

:hihi::hihi::hihi::hihi:


What book are you getting them out of ?

I keep thinking Im a door knob.


Well dont fly off the handle.



Am I getting there ? :)

:hihi::hihi::hihi::hihi:


What book are you getting them out of ?


Not a book, just observation and concatenation of phrases etc, I dunno.

(Some aint mine tho)


Never offer an American a fag, ESPECIALLY if he's bigger than you or talks with a lisp :hihi:

Not a book, just observation and concatenation of phrases etc, I dunno.

(Some aint mine tho)


Never offer an American a fag, ESPECIALLY if he's bigger than you or talks with a lisp :hihi:

Crosser, what does concatenation mean ?

Crosser, what does concatenation mean ?

forming a chain

Chain smokers suffer from surfeit of iron in blood

forming a chain

Chain smokers suffer from surfeit of iron in blood

You know im struggling on this thread dont you ? Like a duck furiously paddling, but gradually sinking ! :(

You know im struggling on this thread dont you ? Like a duck furiously paddling, but gradually sinking ! :(

Ah--what's the difference between a duck? Answer--one of its legs is both the same...

Ah--what's the difference between a duck? Answer--one of its legs is both the same...

Can you explain that more ? :(

I'm a pink toothbrush, you're a blue toothbrush :cool:

Lower your carbon footprints........... Get a DYSON! :hihi:

Lower your carbon footprints........... Get a DYSON! :hihi:

Im giving up Crosser. You are far too clever for me.:)

Im giving up Crosser. You are far too clever for me.:)

Pattricia, the only secret is that there isn't one ;) Read the very first post of this thread, then for every post made, keep as far removed from it as you possibly can :hihi:

Pattricia, the only secret is that there isn't one ;) Read the very first post of this thread, then for every post made, keep as far removed from it as you possibly can :hihi:

O.K. Will try to do that, but its the only thread that has stumped me on SF.

O.K. Will try to do that, but its the only thread that has stumped me on SF.

Well that's quite irrelevant, you are doing just fine :hihi:

Use the Farce Luke!

Is it dinner time yet ?

Pidgeons stage a coo.

Is a "Nom De Plume" a book for bald birds?

Pidgeons stage a coo.

I like it :D

Why do white kittens end up grey ? :rolleyes:

I like it :D

Really ? (gets books out and starts reading furiously) :)

Does anyone want a cup of tea ? :rolleyes:

Does anyone want a cup of tea ? :rolleyes:

Yes please. Cos Im still reading me books arent I ? :)

Say NO to negativity!

Say NO to negativity!

Fantastic Crosser !! :D

There's an alien in my garden :help:

Dumb and dumber, thats me ! :(

Dumbo the elephant lays first egg

Did you know that if you take the plastic section from a four pack of lager, and hold it up to your face, you can do a fantastic impression of "the two Ronnies" even if you are alone?

How can I follow this lot ? :hihi:

How can I follow this lot ? :hihi:

Easy really........ Just talk jibberish LOL :hihi::hihi::hihi:

Can you watch a man with a beard eating a banana without giggling?

I walk alone, where once we wandered :rolleyes:

Can you watch a man with a beard eating a banana without giggling?

Dont let Walt see this as he has a beard !! :rolleyes::rolleyes:

beards are answer to bird housing shortage, says Bill Oddy

Why should men with beards not be able to eat bananas ? :huh:

Because they aren't straight enough

Because they aren't straight enough

Are you gay then ? :D

Are you gay then ? :D

No, it's the bananas


No gay banana
Could fancy a zenana

Neither of you got the point :rant:

No post is supposed to relate to another :rolleyes:

Null points, you lost the plot :rolleyes:

Neither of you got the point :rant:

No post is supposed to relate to another :rolleyes:

Null points, you lost the plot :rolleyes:

Ah, yes. we cocked up there didnt we ?:hihi::hihi:

Ah, yes. we cocked up there didnt we ?:hihi::hihi:

And what crops should we plant in the plot?

Bananas and beards would go well together.

I've got a malfunctioning tumble-drier :rant:

People in Glasshoughton shouldn't throw sprouts!


So there :P

don't knock it when you havn't had the pleasure of

A Tutu belonging to Desmond.

a Sleep enjoyed by Wayne...

Why is it always in the last place you look?








DUH! Go figure :|

The plural of house should be hice.

yet the plural of mouse is mice .

yet the plural of mouse is mice .

exactly--so try grouse and spouse!

exactly--so try grouse and spouse!

Grice ans spice ? :huh:

Grice ans spice ? :huh:

of course!

English has some odd plurals...

of course!

English has some odd plurals...

Do you know any more ? :)

Do you know any more ? :)

well, the plural of sheep is sheep, the plural of deer is deer

and as for oxen, brethren, children...well, there you are!

well, the plural of sheep is sheep, the plural of deer is deer

and as for oxen, brethren, children...well, there you are!

Marvellous, when you think about it. Are we still linking the irrelevant thread ?

Marvellous, when you think about it. Are we still linking the irrelevant thread ?

Sadly, we are making links instead of breaking them!! Crosser will be furious!!

Sadly, we are making links instead of breaking them!! Crosser will be furious!!

Why did he start the thread ? :) This is more interesting though isnt it ?

He just wanted something funny, I suppose. But chatting about the idiosyncracies of the language is more interesting, yes.

Have you thought about plurals for which there is no singular?

He just wanted something funny, I suppose. But chatting about the idiosyncracies of the language is more interesting, yes.

Have you thought about plurals for which there is no singular?

No, can you give me an example ?

No, can you give me an example ?

Scissors (can you have a scissor?)

Trousers

Knickers

Scissors (can you have a scissor?)

Trousers

Knickers

Now youve got me thinking.Yet you can say Jumper cant you & not Jumpers.

Now youve got me thinking.Yet you can say Jumper cant you & not Jumpers.

They tend to be things consisting of more than one part, each part of which would be nonsense by itself

braces (the garment) is another example--a brace is a different object

They tend to be things consisting of more than one part, each part of which would be nonsense by itself

braces (the garment) is another example--a brace is a different object

Tooth & teeth wouldnt do, what about wood & wood ?

Tooth & teeth wouldnt do, what about wood & wood ?

wood (collective)--a lot of trees
wood (the substannce) singular

wood (collective)--a lot of trees
wood (the substannce) singular

Is that an example then ?

Is that an example then ?

In the sense that one form implies both singular and plural

In the sense that one form implies both singular and plural

Sorry Walt I got cut off. Computer playing up !! :mad:

The speed of light in vacuum is exactly 299,792,458 m/s (metres per second)
In 1983 the SI (Systeme International) defined a metre as:

The metre is the length of the path travelled by light in vacuum during a time interval of 1/299 792 458 of a second.
When people refer to the speed of light, they refer to the definition above - the speed of light in a vacuum.

The speed of light is normally rounded to 300 000 kilometers per second or 186 000 miles per second.


But what is the speed of dark?

somebody's sheep got out

I wish I were a transvestite, because at this time of year I could eat, drink and be MARY :D

Do you like Kipling? I've never kippled, myself...

Have you ever Googled yourself though ?

Have you ever Googled yourself though ?

Oh, I have, yes--and I find that I am also an Irish footballer!

Oh, I have, yes--and I find that I am also an Irish footballer!

I havent myself, I may try one day. How can I go back to an irelevant thing ?:(

I havent myself, I may try one day. How can I go back to an ireelevant thing ?:(

Think to yourself "And now for something completely different"

Swordfish do not fight with swords. (Is that O.K.) ?

Swordfish do not fight with swords. (Is that O.K.) ?

excellent!

silverfish are not made of silver--extrapolate the idea to goldfish...

butterflies are not flies made out of butter!! :D

butterflies are not flies made out of butter!! :D

Oddly enough, this is the insect with the greatest proliferation of names in different languages--farfala in Italian, Schmetterling in German, mariposa in Spanish, sommervogel in Swedish...

Oddly enough, this is the insect with the greatest proliferation of names in different languages--farfala in Italian, Schmetterling in German, mariposa in Spanish, sommervogel in Swedish...

Hes showing off again ! :roll:



Blue tits are not blue are neither are they tits!!

Hes showing off again ! :roll:



Blue tits are not blue are neither are they tits!!

They are tits, but not in mammary form!

cauliflower is not a flower

Bluebells are blue, but do not ring.

True, they belong to the order campanula, named after their bell-like flowers

An umbrella keeps off rain, but its name means little shade

Keep net actually means what it says.Storing fish after being caught.

Codpieces are not derived from fish

Neither are fishnet tights.

tights is another word without a singular--unlike stockings, since you can have one stocking

tights is another word without a singular--unlike stockings, since you can have one stocking

yes, isnt that intersting.






Yellow Hammer, is yellow but not a hammer.

A kingfisher catces fish, but is not a king

A robin is not called by the name Robin.

Does a duck duck when someone shouts Duck?

Does a swan, swan around and show off ?

If a fly can fly, does a flea flee?

Should a man live in a manhole?

Totalitarian Vegetables

it wasn't me who instigated the riot

Lastnight down the pub, I met a bloke called Warren....


Jeez could he Rabbit on!!! :D

oranges are healthy for some birds

Pike. :huh:

tell me when it's over

Do opticians make a spectacle of themselves?

Do chiropodists have a foot fetish?

I sleep in a tutu

Supercalifragilisticexphalitosis :suspect::hihi:

stop talking dirty to me LH

stop talking dirty to me LH

Never said a word.Did I?

didn't think LH would see that



I'm off to do penance

didn't think LH would see that



I'm off to do penance

I am vatchink you.

what is a girl to do

toasted cheese with hendersons relish mmmmmmm

Fried Spam sandwiches............

toasted spam email

toasted spam email

Sorry have to go now Waltheof.(OH) ;)

Sorry have to go now Waltheof.(OH) ;)

OK--sorry it was short--see you soon!

OK--sorry it was short--see you soon!

I hope so sweetie.;)

Atomic flour bombs

Water spouts over the atlantic

tum-tiddly-tum-tum.... i've got an itch on my....

Ive been thinking, do bees poo?

don't think about it just do it!

Just do what tho?

deadly lampshade

light fantastic

heavy helium

hot air balloon

poetic licence--how much does one cost?

two and six!

prose prohibition

terse verse

stilted talk

fat chat......

thin end.................

narrow marrow

hot potato

cold turkey

Parrots eat carrots

the canna lilies are blooming this year

Pappa was a strolling bone.

you don't know everything do you?

Snooker is a load of balls!

that's showbusiness

Does anyone know any links for golf clubs?

what's the time?

Thank god for vertical blinds, otherwise it would be curtains for all of us!

they don't make 'em like that any more

What's this fish doing in my bed?

I know who you are and I saw what you did!

I can see a Jellycopter out of my window!

don't just stand there do something

samtsirhc rof sdrawkcab gnitirw m'I

did you ring?

They shoot horses don't they?

are you coming out to play?

Anybody got any vera's?

sorry leaving not done my chores

sorry leaving not done my chores

What Chores?


Mine's a pint, thanks! :hihi:

the chores I do when I expect guests (oops)

Is a "Dogalogue" the same as a "Catalogue" only bigger?

it's the same as a labradoodle catalogue isn't it?

A tutu belonging to Desmond