Topic.

Lots of candidates here IMO, most notably stuff like the Spitting Image Chicken song, and the Kevin the Gerbil version of Sir Cliff's Summer Holiday! :shocked: what the hell was I thinking when I bought that?! :loopy:

Can't remember if it was 80s or 90s but that "Ride on time" song by Black Box was pretty pants, it wasn't even a proper song IMO, just some Banshee-like woman screaming "woah oh" over and over! :loopy:

Any other offers on 80s Turkeys?

ride on time was a flipping fantastic great song. and was the latter end of the eighties. 1989. and the eighties were the best. are no bad songs from the eighties. I am a nostaligic fool I know!!:hihi::hihi:

All of those party songs.
Shakikng Stevens and the many offspring

All of those party songs.
Shakikng Stevens and the many offspring

Oh yeah, of course in those days I was too young to realise just how tragic the likes of Agadoo and the Birdy song etc really were, what's worse is that that kind of thing gets wheeled out at practically every Wedding Reception I've ever been to (not my Brother's though, nor mine if I ever have one) :gag:

renee and renato - save your love, need i say anymore.

Welcome to the jungle. Or Sweet Child o Mine. Or Paradise City. Or Rocket Queen. Or...you get the idea.

Anything by Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers.

Anything by Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers.
Was just about to type exactly the same thing :hihi: . I'll chose the Timmy Mallett cover of 'Yellow Polka Dot Bikini' instead, for similar crimes against music. And for the fact that he calls himself 'Timmy'.

Bugger. Wikipedia tells me that this monstrosity was, in fact, released in 1990. Never mind. I'm sure the 80s had nothing to match it.

Tarzan Boy by Baltimora. The Chicken Song was excellent.

Anything by Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers.

Apparently they were from Rotherham as well! :suspect:

The Reynolds Girls - I'd rather jack
Sabrina - Boys, Boys, Boys :hihi:

Sabrina - Boys, Boys, Boys :hihi:

Yes, absolute pants. However the video, as I recall, was most.. ahem...refreshing....for a couple of reasons. :D

Yes, absolute pants. However the video, as I recall, was most.. ahem...refreshing....for a couple of reasons. :D

:hihi: I remember the video too! Funny how things stick in your...err......mind!:hihi: For me though it has to be C'mon Eileen! jeez that was/is crap of the highest order! :suspect:

Everything from the 80s was bad.

Black Box "Ride on Time" is fantastic tho Rich! :P

Can't remember if it was 80s or 90s but that "Ride on time" song by Black Box was pretty pants, it wasn't even a proper song IMO, just some Banshee-like woman screaming "woah oh" over and over! :loopy:


That's where you're wrong, Rich. "Ride On Time" is actually based on the haunting Nepalese folk song "Rhesham Phiriri" and what you hear as "woah oh" is the singer speaking in Nepalese dialect, each time subtly different. The full translation is;

"Ride on time
My heart is fluttering like silk in the wind
I cannot decide whether to fly
or sit on the hill top

Millet is planted, corn is planted, but not the rice
Don’t follow me little girl, because I don’t like you.

Ride on time
My heart is fluttering like silk in the wind
I cannot decide whether to fly
or sit on the hill top

To the dog its puppy, puppy, to the cat its meow meow
Read the Daily Mail – it’s great!

Ride on time
My heart is fluttering like silk in the wind
I cannot decide whether to fly
or sit on the hill top"


Hope that helps!

No-one seems to have mentioned the awful monstrosity that hit number 1 in February 1981, and managed to stay there keeping Ultravox off the top.....

....I'm talking about Joe Dolce's Shaddap Ya Face....possibly the worst record ever made!

Captain Sensible - Happy Talk
Talk about things you'd like to do.
You gotta have a dream
if you don't have a dream
How you gonna have a dream come true?
Talk about a moon floatin' in the sky... (cant remember any more...)
:gag::gag::gag:

Captain Sensible - Happy Talk
Talk about things you'd like to do.
You gotta have a dream
if you don't have a dream
How you gonna have a dream come true?
Talk about a moon floatin' in the sky... (cant remember any more...)
:gag::gag::gag:

I actually bought that as well! :blush:

Forgive me I was only 5! :shocked:

No-one seems to have mentioned the awful monstrosity that hit number 1 in February 1981, and managed to stay there keeping Ultravox off the top.....

....I'm talking about Joe Dolce's Shaddap Ya Face....possibly the worst record ever made!

think you are spot on there

The winner has to be The war song by Culture Club with its wonderous lyrics...

War war is stupid
And people are stupid
And love means nothing
In such strange quarters (or something like that)

I really hated that Gypsy woman song... "and she stands there singing for money...la,da dee, la da la, la, da, dee, la, da daa."

Oh and The power of love by Jennifer Rush and Simply the Best by Tina Turner which both make me want to garrott wedding djs.

Oh and The power of love by Jennifer Rush and Simply the Best by Tina Turner which both make me want to garrott wedding djs.

I'm so glad that it's not just me!

Phil Collins.
The Smiths
I think Phil Collins just shades it but only just

HAS to be Clouds Across The Moon - Rah Band

HAS to be Clouds Across The Moon - Rah Band

I, er, really liked that song:blush:

How about "Camouflage" by Stan ridgeway?

How about "Camouflage" by Stan ridgeway?

Nooooo! That was one of the best songs of the 80's!

...How about "Camouflage" by Stan ridgeway?
Now that's one of those songs I don't think I've heard since the 80s. Must go and hunt it down; I seem to recall I quite liked it at the time (though I also liked Chas and Dave's 'Snooker Loopy' :hihi:) .

I think its fair to say that the 80's were the salad days of the novelty single. Now, whether you think thats a good thing or not is another question.....:hihi:

The winner has to be The war song by Culture Club with its wonderous lyrics...

War war is stupid
And people are stupid
And love means nothing
In such strange quarters (or something like that)

I really hated that Gypsy woman song... "and she stands there singing for money...la,da dee, la da la, la, da, dee, la, da daa."

Oh and The power of love by Jennifer Rush and Simply the Best by Tina Turner which both make me want to garrott wedding djs.

That Gypsy Woman song is annoying! As is the woman who sings it...

Anyone who bought any song by Timmy Mallet and his group wants shooting IMO, for crimes against music.

That Gypsy Woman song is annoying! As is the woman who sings it...

Anyone who bought any song by Timmy Mallet and his group wants shooting IMO, for crimes against music.

Whilst I agree with you that this song is akin to a bucket of warmed-up vomit, it was actually released in May 1991 and, being as we are in this country, made number two (remaining on the charts 10 weeks).

Timmy Mallet (actually Bombalurina featuring....) made number one, yes you read it right, in July 1990.

Which perfectly illustrates that if there is one decade bereft of any musical appeal, it is the 90s and not the 80s.

Let's be honest, our fashion was crap in the 80s so it only made sense that our music was (not that it was, if you catch my drift). I mean, how could I dance to When Smokey Sings in Isabella's without my thin yellow leather tie and matching yellow socks?

Eh?

Some other very bad 90's songsters:

East17
Chesney Hawkes
Snap
Right Said Fred
Tasmin Archer
Ace of Base
D:Ream

Ace of Base

Aaaaoooaarrllllll that she wants, is another bay-bee, she's gone tomorrow boy, allllllll that she wants is another bay-bee, oh-woh-oh

What????

Must be some sort of a baby-snatcher, roaming the hospitals of the world?

Can't be any worse than some of the Top of the Pops 2 fodder released in the ruddy 70s! Thank God I missed most of it as I was too young in the late 70s to develop tastes in music.

Aaaaoooaarrllllll that she wants, is another bay-bee, she's gone tomorrow boy, allllllll that she wants is another bay-bee, oh-woh-oh

What????

Must be some sort of a baby-snatcher, roaming the hospitals of the world?

now that WAS dire

I CANNOT believe that the smiths and guns n roses have been mentioned here - no wonder the current charts are so full of crap when people don't recognise genuine quality

Red Red Wine - UB40:gag::gag:

Red Red Wine - UB40:gag::gag:

That wasn't an original song, Neil Diamond did the original back in the 70s iirc.

UB40 suck anyway, they're named after an unemployment benefit form for chuff sake! :loopy:

True - Spandau Ballet, i hated that song, wired for sound - cliff richard, wanted him to trip over and fall flat on his face when he was rollerskating in the video, and anything by wham makes me want to beat my head against a brick wall.

Whilst I agree with you that this song is akin to a bucket of warmed-up vomit, it was actually released in May 1991 and, being as we are in this country, made number two (remaining on the charts 10 weeks).

Timmy Mallet (actually Bombalurina featuring....) made number one, yes you read it right, in July 1990.

Which perfectly illustrates that if there is one decade bereft of any musical appeal, it is the 90s and not the 80s.

Let's be honest, our fashion was crap in the 80s so it only made sense that our music was (not that it was, if you catch my drift). I mean, how could I dance to When Smokey Sings in Isabella's without my thin yellow leather tie and matching yellow socks?

Eh?

OMG - I think I know you !

True - Spandau Ballet, i hated that song, wired for sound - cliff richard, wanted him to trip over and fall flat on his face when he was rollerskating in the video, and anything by wham makes me want to beat my head against a brick wall.
'True' was a work of genius, matched only by 'Gold'. And how could you not like Wham? :o As for Cliff Richard, I quite like that song too. If you'd said 'Millennium Prayer' I would have been right there with you.

'True' was a work of genius, matched only by 'Gold'. And how could you not like Wham? :o As for Cliff Richard, I quite like that song too. If you'd said 'Millennium Prayer' I would have been right there with you.

Spandau Ballet only ever did one record that i liked, Instinction
to use the line "stealing cake to eat the moon" is just brilliant, and anyway i was a duran duran fan, as for wham nooooooo, my sister used to listen to them all the time, i however was always listening to and trying (and failing) to be as cool as the human league.

JuSt AbOuT aLl Of ThEm

I hate all those "hits" of the late 70s/early 80s by the likes of Black Lace! You know, stuff like Agadoo, I am the music man and that damn Superman one with the daft dances! :loopy:

And don't even get me started on how much I hate the ruddy Spitting Image "Chicken song", "Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose", eh?! :loopy:

Final Countdown- Europe.

Nuff said.

Jim

I hate all those "hits" of the late 70s/early 80s by the likes of Black Lace! You know, stuff like Agadoo, I am the music man and that damn Superman one with the daft dances! :loopy:

And don't even get me started on how much I hate the ruddy Spitting Image "Chicken song", "Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose", eh?! :loopy:

oh Black Lace, now you're talking....'we're having a gang bang, against the wall....' - my favourite - reminds me of the classic 'Rita Sue and Bob too.' - what a film!

Final Countdown- Europe.

Nuff said.

Jim

Actually that ranks as one of my fave songs ever! :D

Actually that ranks as one of my fave songs ever! :D

Same here Rich:thumbsup:

Everything from the 80s was bad.

Black Box "Ride on Time" is fantastic tho Rich! :P

Didn't Black Box get in trouble for 'Ride On Time' as a gay anthem, and the vocal was actually done and by a middle aged ugly fat black women instead of the nice slim good looking one in the video?

Bros - ' I owe you nothing' was the worst record in the 80's.

The Reynolds Girls - I'd rather jack
Sabrina - Boys, Boys, Boys :hihi:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Hg7M8qI5m8

:hihi:

Bros - ' I owe you nothing' was the worst record in the 80's.

I like it!:cool:

Anything by Orville, Save your love, Birdie song, don't really like slow smaltzy long boring records either or repetitive lyrics

just thought of another horror from the 80's
Boris Gardner - I wanna wake up with you

Anything by Orville, Save your love, Birdie song, don't really like slow smaltzy long boring records either or repetitive lyrics

Actually the Birdie song had no lyrics, it did suck though.

Much worse than anything mentioned so far is all the bilge produced by stock aitken and waterman.