I wonder if distance can be a barrier to a relationship working out,I am seeing someone who lives in west yorkshire and I do wonder if the miles are going to be a problem.
Are there any other people who are in a similar situation,and do you think the same??

My boyfriend lived in Sheffield and I lived 80 miles away when we first got together (met though the Internet of all places) 5 and a half years on were still together and getting married soon. We've been living with each other for 3 years now and it's been wonderful. You have to have trust on both sides, if you don't have that, then you don't have a relationship.

Hope it works out for you.

Thanks for that Polly,we will see wont we? You are right though about having trust in each other,if you dont have that then I feel it will fail.
She is nearer that yours was in that she is only about 40 miles away,can get to her in about a hour in the car.
Mind you the bloody petrol bills will be higher lol.:hihi:

I think you need to have a definite plan to actually live in the same place, ideally with some form of time scale. I went out with someone for far too long who moved to Norwich to do a masters, then got a job in London, then moved to Brighton. She wanted me to move to all of these places and I guess that if I thought she was really "the one" I would have had a life in Sheffield which I did not want to loose. It's easy to ignore all the bad things as you never spend enough time together to argue, and the time you do spend together you try and enjoy! I think that after a while you get used to the long distance thing but more out of habit than anything else. In my opinion unless one of you is prepared to move it's not going to have a happy ending, you might look back after 2 or 3 years and wonder where the time went!

I spent most of it on the M25!! :loopy:

lmao 40 miles has never seen long distance :P my ex g/f was in South Africa for a year... now thats long distance mate ;) anyways, her being in another country totally messed up our r/ship, mainly cus she came back a rather different person and I'd also changed...

but short-long-distance r/ships... I dunno depends how you go about it really, and whether you started dating long distance or just that one of you moved after a while?

Originally posted by royjames
Thanks for that Polly,we will see wont we? You are right though about having trust in each other,if you dont have that then I feel it will fail.
She is nearer that yours was in that she is only about 40 miles away,can get to her in about a hour in the car.
Mind you the bloody petrol bills will be higher lol.:hihi:

Half an hour? That's not to bad. I think if you love someone that much you will do anyting for them and if that means waiting for them, well you will do that as well. She will if she feels the same. Like I said it worked for me and it can for you as well. I admit it's hard being apart from one another, but if something is worth waiting for you'll do it and it's always worth it in the end.

When my partner and I first started going out we spent the first year 180 miles apart. I didnt drive then so we were up and down the M1 by coach every other weekend. So it CAN deffinately work! Thats not not say it wouldnt be a barrier because it probably would - It comes down to whether or not you both really want it to work.

Good luck anyway :thumbsup:

My other half lives in Sheffield and I live in Dagenham, Essex and we've been together for nearly 3 years now.

I think we are round about 170 miles apart but dont quote me on that as I could be slightly out.

We are hoping to get a place together sometime this year so I am taking the plunge and moving up to Sheffield with my son and I really cant wait as I love Sheffield.

The long distance does take its toll sometimes and parting ways can be really hard especially when you miss each other like mad, but we always look forward to our next visits and we have a really rock solid relationship which I am really secure with.

I do believe that Long distance relationships can work but obviously only if the two people involved are really in love and committed to making it work but at the same time even the most loved up couples that are just as committed to each other can fall foul to circumstances beyond their control I think any relationship whether its long distance or not has every chance of surviving and every chance of splitting I think its hard to judge, but for me personally its working and working out very well indeed.

Jo

My mate met a girl from Glasgow, whilst on holiday. he used to travel up thier everyt weekend - 2 years later they are happily married and now living in Derby

Hi Polly sorry I think you have mis read it ,I said 1 hour,still whats a few minutes .
Very interesting to look at the poll,it seems quite close doesnt it?:thumbsup:

I met my last partner through a mutual friend. He lived in Ipswich!

Our relationship was fine whilst we lived miles apart and only saw each other once a month. Unfortunately, it all went pear shaped when he moved up here!

You really don't know someone properly until you live with them and Ipswich to Sheffield was quite a move for it all to go wrong. We're still mates but I do feel guilty at times about it.

I do have to say that you really wont get to know someone if you only see them once a month.
On the other side at least you will have lots to talk about ,having been apart for some time.
I dont mean to be flipant F F but I dont think I would be able to do only once a month,still I hope you find true love before too long.

Roy,
I don't think it will matter if you feel strongly about each other. The distance between south and west yorkshire is not so vast anyway. I know people in Australia who are prepared to regularly travel hundreds of miles for a party at the weekend.

In my case, I met my wife nearly twenty years ago when I was living in Sheffield. At the time she lived in Bedford. We saw each other every weekend, and now I wake up next to her lovely face every morning. It will work if the passion is there. I wish you the best of luck!

Cheers Timo,we will be ok after all she is a bnp councillor so we do share some things.
The distance is not that bad,I feel if you love someone then you will work it out in the end,and if you really have feelings it will work.

I think distance can help. My ex and I lived 200 miles apart, and it worked fine til I moved up. Now I'm looking for another distant girlfreind :)

lol big foot, so I take it you are looking at this from another angle.

My partner I and lived 120 miles apart, till he moved in 3 years ago. The phone bills were huge so I had to get an unlimited landline contract.
We took turns at visiting each other every two weeks until we moved in.
A long time I used to go out with someone who lived in Dover, both of us were poverty stricken, it lasted 8 months, could never afford to see each other or talk long on the phone.
If you have the time and the money it can work very well.
Best of luck!

I've got that t-shirt too! If it doesn't work, it's not love! The only problem is, it's more difficult to tell whether it's actually lust :(

'Spose it all depends what you both expect from the relationship

I moved to Sheffield partly because I felt my then boyfriend and I needed some distance between us. He followed me and this year we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary!

depends what you mean by a long distance
i spend nearly two hours a day getting to and from work :(

I think if both parties are dedicated to the relationship then it can work out. :P

I think that if you are in an established relationship and then have to live apart for say your job, then your relationship stands a much better chance of surviving. OTOH if you are starting out with a distance between you then you have nothing to build on.

When times get tough and though we have mobile phones and the internet to keep in touch there is no substitute for actually being with the person you love.

Originally posted by xafier
lmao 40 miles has never seen long distance :P my ex g/f was in South Africa for a year... now thats long distance mate ;) anyways, her being in another country totally messed up our r/ship, mainly cus she came back a rather different person and I'd also changed...

but short-long-distance r/ships... I dunno depends how you go about it really, and whether you started dating long distance or just that one of you moved after a while?

I met a girl via my best friend and she was in England for a year, but it wasn't until the last few months of her being here that i started a relationship with her. It has been nearly three years since she went back, we managed to keep the relationship going for about a year after, with me visiting a few times. So I wouldn't see 40 miles as a problem to be honest.