Difficult Decision

Hi all,
My name is Mark and i live in the crystal peaks area of sheffield.
Im 17, turning 18 in June.
I have no certificates or education. ( I lived abroad during the last 3 years of schooling )
Currently i have a job in IT. It is a split role job.
Repairing computers, installing software, building systems , diagnostics etc.
I also do all counter sales and provide technical support.

Unfortunately, i get about 8000 a year and thats before tax!

I wish i could build systems at home and sell them to people, deliver them, etc.
I can also repair laptops and aquire spare parts.
The problem is i dont have a car :( !

I have to take my driving lessons first, and then obtain my licence, get insured , lol... get a car !

The hard thing is i have met this girl, she lives quite far away and has two kids.
She wants me to move in with her, the only problem is i wouldnt be able to get to work. ( Does not really matter though because im sick of the crap pay! )
I will have difficulties finding another job though, and im a bit lazy too!
She doesn't have a job.

I really need to get a car so i can go out and do stuff like that, its just i must work out how to save that amount of cash ( i dont live with my parents )

Being unable to go places ( on my own in my own car ) makes me very depressed. ( Especially when im the boy racer sort !)

Its hard starting off in the world!

Advice appreciated :)

Thanks, Mark.

The rest of us didn't have life handed to us on a plate either :mad:

If your biggest problem in life is 'I don't have a car' you've got it pretty cushy.

Originally posted by chipX
I really need to get a car so i can go out and do stuff like that, its just i must work out how to save that amount of cash ( i dont live with my parents )

Being unable to go places ( on my own in my own car ) makes me very depressed. ( Especially when im the boy racer sort !)


I don't know how I have managed to live to 35 without being able to drive.

You can go out without a car you know, in fact if you plan to drink then you can't go by car.

i say follow your heart and do what u feels best. thats the advice i follow seems to be working for me ;-)

start off on a bike for deliveries,then build up to a car, have you/will you get enough customers to sustain the job,car,girl friend,two kids,? etc...........

If you havent started driving lessons, and cant drive or have your own car... how do you know your a boy racer?

Susie
xx

there's very little money to be made in the low end of the IT industry at the moment. Whilst you might make a success out of selling pc's to people I think you'd find it very difficult.

I'd recommend using your experience with the company you're with to find a better paid job in the same line of work. Use the increased pay to get a cheap car and use that to see the girl you've met.
Giving up your job to move in with her sounds like a bad idea if neither of you will have a source of income afterwards.

Cyclone is right, everyone starts on a crap wage, I got a lot less than 8K when I started in IT, you have to stick at it, as you get more experience you will get paid more, you are only 17.

Changing your life takes effort - if you really are a bit lazy, then you might struggle. If you're committed to changing things, why not look at a local college for part time courses - GCSEs, or IT qualifications that may help you find a better job? By being under 18 you should be entitled to a significant reduction in the course fee. I worked for two years and studied part time in the evenings before I went back to sit my A Levels (I was very ill during my teens, and I only sat 4 GCSEs at school... I studied part time at college whilst working in the day to get my maths and science GCSEs and now I'm a postgraduate at university). Employers will respect your initiative.

Acquisition of a car shouldn't be your first proirity.

I think you should stick with the job. The pay is actually not bad, considering your circumstances. When I graduated I didn't get paid much more than you, even with GCSE's, A-levels and a degree.
If you stick with it, you will gain the experience you need to climb up the ladder.
Forget about the car, you can manage without, it seems like an unnecessary expense. It's something you want, rather than need. If you read the thread on here about driving lessons and passing your test on here you will see it can cost thousands of pounds, and that's just to get your license.
I think you should think very carefully before moving in with this girl. Sorry if I sound patronising, but you are only 17.
Yes, it is hard starting off in the world, for everyone, you have to work at it.

Most people ( that i know ) have a car at my age :(
I really do need one, i get really really depressed and further when i cant get out of my room.
:(
College and uni are out of the question

I never had a car at your age and I can't afford one now. Your salary isn't ridiculously low for your age at all, I believe the minimum wage for a 17 year old is £3 p/h.
Your main complaint appears to be that you don't have a car and your friends all do. If this really is true couldn't you arrange with a friend to let you get insured on their car, or a family member's or just get them to give you lifts for the time being. It's what I've always had to do.

well, first of all get your driving licence and get a small scooter, and instantly you have transport, then use any spare cash you have to take lessons once you have passed your test channel the cash into a small car (just because you are 17 you dont HAVE to be a boy racer), once you have passed your test you can look at what other posts are available in the company that may provide a firms car, as others have said get to college and tke a couple of courses that will give you qualifications

sitting around complainig will not get you anything, you have to work for it, and as for only having 8k a year i know a 40 yr old who has to put up with less than that

take stock of where you are going, list your priorities and work thru them

dave

8k works out as £4.10/hour (assuming a 37.5 hour week), so you are actually being paid minimum wage for an 18 - 21 year old.

Take it one step at a time. I had driving lessons when I was 17 and my first car when I was 18 but I still lived at home then. I'm 21 now and I only moved out of home last August and even though I earn more than you its still a massive struggle to live the life you want to.

Can your company not offer a training course or pay for training for you to get more qualifications and eventually earn more money a year?

Our company is tight and cannot afford to employ more people or give anyone more money lol.
they aint even heard of company cars !
oh well
sux

ha, I'm gonna come accross sounding a bit of an arsehole here... but oh well...

Personally mate I really wouldn't get myself into the situation your in, at 17 its such a bad idea getting involved with a woman thats 7 years older than you and has two kids...

having spoke to you on the chat room you seem to be a lot like me, like I was when I was a few years younger, and as I still partially am now...

All I can say is, I think your clinging to this woman because she's a safety net for you, I've been in that situation when I was really depressed and I was obsessed with a girl on the internet because I just need to feel loved and wanted by someone so much because it was such a good safety net to allow me to disregard all the badness in my life...

and I fell into the same situation yet again when I got my first real g/f when I was 16... and I "thought" I was madly in love with her... but after things turned sour eventually and I got with my last g/f I realised that I was just being nieve because young and needed a "safety net"...

I'd sorted out a lot of my problems between those g/f's and thats what I think you need to do mate... depression is a really bad thing, and it can REALLY toy with your emotions and how you react to things and crazy situations...

how many 17 year olds would want to give up a job, to move in with a 24 year old single mother with two kids? whose two kids wern't even theirs?.... seriously, think about it... it sounds a really wacky situation... but when your in a state of depression, that feeling of being wanted is a powerful thing to help cling on to to save you having to sort your problems out...

anyways, all I can offer for advise is what I did to help ease a lot of my depression and that was to start over with a lot of my life... I got rid of most of the "friends" that I had that were part of bringing me down constantly, I'm only in contact with 1 out of 5 of my best mates from my mid teens...

I picked up a new hobby, because it gave me something to put my thoughts into, my feelings into and was a way to channel my negative energy... I took up learning to play the guitar... I plodded my way through my A levels even though part of me wanted to just pack it in and quit... I came out only just passing but enough to get onto my Uni course, I could have done a lot better if I hadn't let a girl distract me and make me more depressed...

anyways, your life is your own and you have to live with your decisions... but I'd seriously consider sorting out any kind of depression problems as your first priority, because then you'll be able to live a lot happier life and make decisions a lot clearer

[edit]

and if all your friends have car's at 17/18 then I'd love to know how you've managed to pick so many rich friends? because even now only about 10% of my mates have cars and I'm like 19 and my mates are like 19 - 23 :?

i dont know what i want unfortunately.
and the car thing is cause they dont go to uni ;)

and if you want me to be hones they aint even proper friends, just a few lads i work with!

Not all my friends go to Uni... but car's are expensive things to run even if you've got a job... you sure they're parents aren't paying for their insurance etc? :P

anyways, I think you need to deal with your life and sort out whats getting you depressed, because its not about getting a car and its not this r/ship of yours... its something else, and you need to sort that before you think about other things...

still can't figure what a 24yr old woman with kids would see in a 17 year old? :? no offense, sure your a great guy... but if I was a single mother with two kids I'd be looking for a guy at least my own age and maturity and whose been through life a bit, and could help to support a family...

Originally posted by chipX
Difficult Decision

Hi all,
My name is Mark and i live in the crystal peaks area of sheffield.
Im 17, turning 18 in June.
I have no certificates or education. ( I lived abroad during the last 3 years of schooling )
Currently i have a job in IT. It is a split role job.
Repairing computers, installing software, building systems , diagnostics etc.
I also do all counter sales and provide technical support.

Unfortunately, i get about 8000 a year and thats before tax!

I wish i could build systems at home and sell them to people, deliver them, etc.
I can also repair laptops and aquire spare parts.
The problem is i dont have a car :( !

I have to take my driving lessons first, and then obtain my licence, get insured , lol... get a car !

The hard thing is i have met this girl, she lives quite far away and has two kids.
She wants me to move in with her, the only problem is i wouldnt be able to get to work. ( Does not really matter though because im sick of the crap pay! )
I will have difficulties finding another job though, and im a bit lazy too!
She doesn't have a job.

I really need to get a car so i can go out and do stuff like that, its just i must work out how to save that amount of cash ( i dont live with my parents )

Being unable to go places ( on my own in my own car ) makes me very depressed. ( Especially when im the boy racer sort !)

Its hard starting off in the world!

Advice appreciated :)

Thanks, Mark.

Look on bright side mate. Gf could be a Wednesday fan as well.

Its a sad fact of life,but most of us have to start at the bottom of the pile.
In all fairness 8k for a 17yr old isnt that bad,after all you are only just starting out in life.

My sig says it all.

Forget about the car if you earn so little mate. My petrol costs between £50-75 per month, if your 17 you'll be paying at least £1500 per year for insurance, just that & petrol alone is between £175-200 per month.

Use taxis instead to do your work if you have lots of stuff to take with you it's cheaper and you can directly charge each customer depending on how much the taxi is.
It's easy to get depressed about things which other people have and you don't. But as you get older you will be paid more, and you will get more opportunities.

If I were you I would avoid actually moving in with the woman, just keep seeing her if you want.

Your firm has to provide you with training [it's the law], see if you can do one of the microsoft courses.

I would seriously recommend passing your driving test as it is essential to have on your CV. When changing jobs.

why is college out of the question? when i was 19-21 i was on a lot less (no minimum wage then i don think) i went to college at night to get qualifications. i think honestly if you move in with her you will ditch your job and hang around the house all day with her because she doesnt work, look after her kids (yes i understand that lots of families consist of step relatives) but your so young! (dont mean to patronise honest). living with somewhen when you are young is hard going (i know) and then the arguments begin even if you do love each other and then if you ever do end up moving out you will have no job!!
and you will be worse off than before.

if you have any friends who have driven for more than 3 yrs and are over 21 then they can teach you to drive themselves.

i dont think anyone on this site however nice they are are going to give you a free car.

I have thought a little more, and when I was your age I was at college doing a sandwhich course. After that course I was ten rungs up the employment ladder.
But after that I stayed on, and went into higher education, because I knew I could do more.
I left school wanting to fix Televisions, this was before PCs, I'm now so glad I didn't.

If you want to spend the rest of your life slowly creeping up the pay scale while younger people join the company with slightly more qualifications and get promoted beyond you, then stay where you are.

Don't worry about now, and not having a crappy nova like some of your so called friends, think about 5 years time at 24 you could have a mortgage, a decent proper car and a great job, foreign holidays and prospects go to college mate, it's not that hard. Just regular attendence will give you enough, grounding to pass most of the exams.

And one more thing about college. You will make fantastic friends there, who you have lots in common with. I still have best friends who I see every week, who I first met at college nearly 20 years ago. Your life can be better in every respect.

If you go to college you can get EMA till your 18 if you are accepted on the scheme and there is also time to get a part time job ( i have and i manage well) and if your still in college when you are over 18 you can get something else i forgot what its called ALG i think not too sure.

You can go to college and get basic english, maths, science whatever u fancy GCSEs (they only take 1 yr and you can enrol now to start in september finish end of june) and then if you still feel like it you can do AS levels and then go onto A levels. It wil lgive you better quals and it will only take minimum 1 yr. You can take GCSES and night classes and work in the day

You can learn to drive and save for a car at the same time if you budget right. So why is college so impossible? If you really want something you will have to work hard to get it, its that simple!

I know what you're going through! Just been through the whole lot myself and I'm still here and doing fine! At our age (I'm just 18 ) Parents and relatives will usually help you out, especially if you're in further education or earning a pittance.

My situation works out like this: I'm a 6th former (2nd year) and my parent's income is below £15k, so I qualify for the £30 a week EMA money. This used to be my lunch/shopping money and my parents paid for a bus pass for term time. You don't get EMA in the holidays though, which is a pain! I live with my boyfriend and we have a small city centre flat together, He earns £15k a year but obviously has few overheads compared to my Parents. I now have a part time job, and I work 15 hours a week and earn nearly £80 a week.

Looking at my finances alone, it would be a squeeze to run a car/eat and go out. But with a lot of help from my Parents and my Boyfriend, I can have my car, my foreign holiday, save for uni and whatnot. My Parent's bought me my car, not because I'm spoilt or ruined or threw a strop, but because they were concerned about my safety as public transport is generally dodgy. They bought me a nice car worth around £600, but to me its worth its weight in gold. They also paid my first installment of insurance, which was £180, leaving me with £78 a month to pay thereafter. (Works out at around a grand) and to replace the "bus pass" money they gave me, they now give me £10 a week for petrol. My boyfriend is paying my insurance until September when I receive my student loan and as a huge benefit to him, he no longer has to use public transport, which is depressing as hell. He also puts £40 petrol in the tank a month.

So it looks as though I've got it easy! But I'm just trying to show you that it can be done and help is out there if you look for it and want it badly enough. Remember that you're just a kid like me and I seriously doubt your parents will turn round as say that you've got to do it on your own.

I can't tell you how much having a car has changed my life. I have so much more time (despite frequenting the rush hour traffic several times a day) and I'm a lot less stressed by being constantly late for things and being restricted to leaving places at certain times to catch the bus.

I think you will get your car if you want it enough. Its hard growing up and getting a place of your own and starting up without your parents, but its been done by me and people are doing it everyday, just don't forget to ask for help and you can do it!

OMG :O
Just thought id do a monster thread revival.
Cant even remember posting this!
Cant believe i started this thread 4 years ago :O
I didnt end up with that girl in the end haha

Im still here. LOL.

OMG :O
Just thought id do a monster thread revival.
Cant even remember posting this!
Cant believe i started this thread 4 years ago :O
I didnt end up with that girl in the end haha

Im still here. LOL.

And you never did get that car, did you? :P

Are you still working with computers?

Yes and no, i'm in the process of starting a small business.
Computers ...
Yes : as in cad design etc linked to the CNC machine i have just bought to cut carbon fibre, magnesium and aluminium sheet.
No : as in i don't repair etc computers anymore.

Had a few cars now, big fan of 1980's /1990's jap cars. Ive got a '91 honda crx vtec ( the vtec is about twice as expensive as the more common , although very similar 16v ) now, which are surprisingly expensive ( stands me at well over 4 grand ... which isnt far off the price of some brand new cars ) lol.