How on earth do carers cope with people with dementia?

Caring for my my 97 year old ma-in-law is a bit of pain - not that she needs that much personal care, but she's very clingy and demanding and doesn't like to be left on her own, and sulks if I do leave her.

She's got a chest infection and, after less than a day, I'm physically and emotionally exhausted, to say nothing of sleep-deprived.

It all started with a fall in the early hours of this morning. Try as I did, I just couldn't get her up so I had to knock up a neighbour at about 2am! Between us, we managed to get her onto her chair, but then she wanted to go to bed so we had to practically lift her round and into it. Then she wanted to go into the chair again. She was fairly confused, but very insistent and a bit aggressive.

Eventually, I got her settled in the chair and asleep and finally crawled into bed at about 4am. I woke up at 7.30, and she was on the floor again, but I managed to get her up OK.

Since then, I've been sitting with her most of the time. Every time I had to pop downstairs, to let the dog out or do her lunch, I'd have to go dashing upstairs again, because I heard something fall over.

She's gone between quite lucid and totally lost it all day. The doctor thought the confusion was caused by the chest infection, so gave her some strong antibiotics.

I tried to get a nap on the sofa, but just as I was dozing off, I heard her calling. She didn't know where I'd gone and had forgotten all about me having a kip!

I would imagine this is how it is most of the time with people with later stage dementia, so how do carers manage? How do they ever get enough sleep to carry on?

Hopefully, she'll be a bit better tomorrow, so I can leave her long enough to get things sorted for the men coming to fit the new windows! I don't think they are going to be very impressed if I cancel the booking - and I won't be pleaed either, as we'll probably have to wait forever for another date.

Oh no :-( I really hope shes better soon and that you get some rest.

Hi

dont know if this will help but social services have a scheme called Adult Family Placements,they provide a range of help it could be someone befriending,or day care toregular respite.

They are very good to begin with they arrange a visit and take it slowly till all get to feel comfortable with each other.This would also let you have some time for yourself.The person who will look after your relative are not social workers but have completed all training and C.R.B.checked .I have been doing this for afew years now and think its a great idea.Hope this helps.

Shebba

Hi

dont know if this will help but social services have a scheme called Adult Family Placements,they provide a range of help it could be someone befriending,or day care toregular respite.

They are very good to begin with they arrange a visit and take it slowly till all get to feel comfortable with each other.This would also let you have some time for yourself.The person who will look after your relative are not social workers but have completed all training and C.R.B.checked .I have been doing this for afew years now and think its a great idea.Hope this helps.

Shebba

Thanks, Shebba, I haven't heard of that.

As it happens, ma-in-law has been in hospital since 31 December, being assessed. The consultant says she has vascular dementia and I'm currently waiting to be contacted by a Social Worker to see what support they can give me when she comes home.