Hi all am just woundering at what stage in pregnancy your midiwfe starts disscussing your birthing plans ect.
And has anyone ever followed there's after doing it. I want a water birth but feel anxious about it.But i do want one,just don't know if im asking for too much,and if im hoping for too much.
Iv heard lots of people say they got to hospital and they have said that they can't have one for one reason or another.
Iv got 9 week left now and am starting to get very anxious and a tad scared if im honest. This is my second child. But when i had my first i didnt do a birthing plan and it went a bit pear shaped because of complications any how.
Charlie x

My midwife comes round to talk through the birth plan at about 36 weeks, However I've already done a rough version of mine that I will discuss with her then. I needed to do that in case my hubby can't be there and I need him to agree with the stuff I've thought about/decided as there are one or two major things in there (for me)!

No one ever asked me to write anything down I did tell the mw I wanted a water birth but like I say didn't write it down.

I would suggest not writing anything on your notes but planning what you want between you and your partner.

Birth plans are ok but it could go out the window if your induced for whatever reason which is what happened with me - if you are they won't let you have a water birth too much hassel for them even though there is a pool in the consultant lead bit.

As Jessops only have 2 pools you are stuffed if someone else is in it.

If you put no drugs on your birth plan you may not get an epidural if you want want so I would leave this open.

It is easy for me to tell you what to do I know when I was pg I had all these views and never listened to anyone.

All I can say is keep an open mind.

Sorry for preaching and rambling.

I've used online guides to a birth plan. MW hasn't even mentioned birth plan with me yet. Although i'm seeing her in an hour! :D x

I've used online guides to a birth plan. MW hasn't even mentioned birth plan with me yet. Although i'm seeing her in an hour! :D x

thats what iv done for mine now did it this afternoon. x

I'm going through mine with the middle wife when the birth pack is delivered for my homebirth in a couple of weeks (I'll be 36 weeks GULP!).

you getting scared charlie? I know I am. Had 31 week check up appt at jessops today and saw the most tiniest little baby coming out of the lift! (Crying of course!) but ooh it was soo sweet! :D:D Still getting really scared seeing all these babies.

you getting scared charlie? I know I am. Had 31 week check up appt at jessops today and saw the most tiniest little baby coming out of the lift! (Crying of course!) but ooh it was soo sweet! :D:D Still getting really scared seeing all these babies.

Not so much scared about having another baby around. Although it has been 6 year i know once those mothering instincs kick in i'll be fine. Just scared about the labour after the labour i had with my son. I was only 6 st when i got pregnant with him and a tiny clothes size 8. I gained 3st with him and went up to a size 18 in clothes. He was born a big 9lb 5 oz. I have hardly gained anything with this one ,so hoping she is smaller. The birth with my son i had to be cut and have a ventuose delivery because he was stuck. Im sure ill be fine charlie x x x

Hey hunni, congats on your bump.
I had a planned homebith (my 1st baby too) but I didn;t want a waterbirth. I think there's only one birthing pool at jessops so if someone else is using it, then you're stumped!

I have to say though, having a homebirth was the BEST decision I EVER made. I even had 3 midwifes! well one was a student - but I got much better care than I would have in hospital) I didn't really write much of a birth plan, just the usual, no drugs, hubby to cut cord after its stopped pulsating, make sure I'm the 1st to pick up baby - natural 3rd stage - you get the drift. tbh i just went with the flow on the day.

If you really want a waterbirth, the only way you can 100% make sure you get it is to have a homebirth and either buy or hire and pool o get a big paddling pool.

If you want any advice about homebirths feel free to pm me. Oh and if you have considered eating your placenta too, (to prevent pnd) feel free to ask me any Q's ;)

There will be things you absolutely will insist uopn - like who will be with you, and if you have specific medical or belief issues - but as for the rest of it, write down what you would like, perhaps even with a priority beside it like Important, ideal, preferred...

but do not set your heart on it happening exactly as you envision it. Hopefully it WILL all go according to plan, but you will not need the extra heartbreak and aggravation that can be caused by the disappointment if it does not...and it certainly isn't guaranteed to.

Above all you will need to be flexible and mentally prepared to take changes in your stride. And possibly sooner than you expect - I was told when I was 39 weeks that I would be unable to give birth vaginally and would have to have an 'elective' section. I certainly wasn't expecting that and it threw me out quite a lot (I hadn't accounted for THAT in my 'flexible' birth plan, lol), but in the end I was just happy to get him out however he came.

Cosywolf has said what I was going to say. Don't set your heart on it, as things don't pan out as you think and if it doesn't it can be upsetting.

I never discussed anything with a Midwife, but I knew who I was taking and discussed with them what I wanted. I wanted to go up the stages of pain relief, but try to avoid having an epidural. I had one in the end, so I'm glad I didn't say never otherwise the Mother's guilt would have kicked in straight away and I would have been very upset at how different the birth actually was to my in my head blissful event I had planned.

One more point - if you want a water bith you need to let people know ASAP.

I would echo what Cosywolf and Doodle say... don't set your heart on really specific things and be prepared to be flexible when the time comes.

I had only just started to think about the detail of my "birthing plan" when my daughter was born at 35 weeks! - so I never got to plan properly. However one of the things I was clear about was that I didn't want many people in the room - and NO students!! But given the circumstances I had about 10 people (in addition to hubby) - including 3 midwives and 2 student midwives (+ paediatricians etc). In the end it didn't matter - she was absolutely fine, the birth was pretty easy... and its what happens afterwards that really matters!

I must admit my birth plan has 'if having a home birth I'd prefer this:'

'if having a hospital birth I'd prefer this:'

'if I end up with a CSection i'd prefer this:'

all graded in stages, I'm not against pain relief etc but I'd rather manage with less if i can so I've noted what i'd be happyt o have in what situations etc...

I have possibly thought faarr too much about it all :)

lol i agree....plz don't have ur heart set on ur birth plan cos think i did, and nothing happened the way id have liked it to.....i think ur best keeping an open mind and go with the flow at the time, i said i wanted to b as active and up right and moving about as possible as the m/w said this wood speed along the birth.......as soon as my waters broke, i cudnt get off the bed, i said i wood of liked to go in the pool at some point, but they werent free when i went in, so they ran me a bath instead, which i didnt even get in, i'd said really just want gas & air, in end ended up wiv that & morphine & had to have epidural in the end and ended up having him in theatre, and can remember feeling quite dissapointed after it hadnt gone "my way" if u like........i wont b making a birth plan nxt time lol ....good luck

See the birthing plan as just that a plan for you to articulate your preferences. But, please listen to the professional guidance that we give, and prepare to be flexible.

Well if you're a midwife (which you sound like you could be) I'm so glad you aren't mine with an attitude like that!

Charlie - If you do want a birth plan, put it down on paper and keep it with your notes a.s.a.p! My midwife was supposed to come and discuss mine at 36 weeks but cancelled the appt so I did mine myself off the top of my head - I put that I'd like a waterbirth if it was available.

Went into labour at 37 weeks with still no rearranged visit from the midwife so it was a good job I had done something! In the end I got my waterbirth at the Jessop, and having spoken to a midwife who's worked there for many years, she says that they're still pretty rare (apparently it's around 1% for an actual birth into water at the Jessop) so most women do find the pool available. Having said that they left me in the pool room for 6 hours after giving birth trying to get me up to a ward when someone else could have been using it!

Good luck! :)