Nutronic
06-09-2003, 21:11
Hillbilly Wins Weekend with The Queen Contest
Cleetus K.K.K. Rhodekill of Alabama U.S.A., was
the proud winner of the controversial "Win A Weekend With The Queen of England" Contest. In the recently if not temporarily improved public relations between the USA and England stemming from their war alliance, many Americans have found themselves still struggling with the concept of Royalty.
What once was viewed by Americans as the land of iffeminate homosexuals, socialism (a trait historically hated by Uncle Sam),and the flagrant flaunting of riches by crowned twits in castles is now a nation the US public treasures and respects. This new found "friend" (aye, thats how my husband referred to a glitter skirted tart , when I found them in the back of his car as he slipped her £20 as she fled in the night), still has far to go to maintain respect
from Americans.
In the realisation that Tony Blair stands as much chance of surving the next elections as a virgin at a prison rodeo, England is most eager to maintain future relations with the US and keep the love flowing in the face of even those flag waving imbeciles hateful of other cultures. The American Redneck (a.k.a. Hillbilly), has yet to be able to identify with people who wipe their arses with cash and indeed with the entire concept of royalty. It was in this light, that the WIN A WEEKEND WITH THE QUEEN CONTEST was born and then festered. The winner, was one Cleetus K.K.K. Rhodekill of Bethlehem, Alabama whose founding fathers claim to
be the birthplace of Christ despite failing efforts to discover three wise men ever being in the town's parametres at any given time.
Cleetus, who was raised by pigs until noticed as human-like when reached puberty, was most delighted when the Queen of England herself stood on the cement block and knocked on his door. He was however not surprised, knowing he had sent in 5000 of the 5050 entries received, the remainder having been sent in by Snoop Doggy Dogg.
Cleetus claims and proves without reserve his "Marriage" to himself as he was born with both gender sex organs.
The Queen spent nearly one weekend in White Trash
Trailer Park with the one toothed Hillbilly and as per contest rules was forced to engage in such hillbilly pastimes as build the empty beer can pyramid, count the hairs on mama's chin, a competition to see who has the most completely hairless cousins,belching contests, and the pastime of burn the cross on "Tha coloured fellah's lawn" amongst other quaint traditional customs.
Living conditions were indeed different from her norm.The loo was same tree that the dog used, they both slept in same bed with nothing more between them than a rifle, and a tick ridden pet rat, and she was paraded around town in the back of his pickup truck with her waving to the rest of the town ( his cousins).She survived on grilled cheese sandwiches prepared with a clothes pressing iron and the kitchen table.
Before the week's end was up she was last seen headed for Canada in dread of a future being forced to endear herself to yanks. "I would have much preferred this Snoop Dog fellow had been victorious with his entries. I rather had preferred to be rollin' wit my dogs n da hood. The FBI is secretly deporting Irish immigrants with wild accusations of ancient terrorist connections and yet they hold on to tooth pick sucking vermin as Mr. Rhodekill?"
Cleetus replied to this news with much chagrin, saying " I was a hopin to learn to play Rule Britannia on my comb and hanky before she left."
Cleetus K.K.K. Rhodekill of Alabama U.S.A., was
the proud winner of the controversial "Win A Weekend With The Queen of England" Contest. In the recently if not temporarily improved public relations between the USA and England stemming from their war alliance, many Americans have found themselves still struggling with the concept of Royalty.
What once was viewed by Americans as the land of iffeminate homosexuals, socialism (a trait historically hated by Uncle Sam),and the flagrant flaunting of riches by crowned twits in castles is now a nation the US public treasures and respects. This new found "friend" (aye, thats how my husband referred to a glitter skirted tart , when I found them in the back of his car as he slipped her £20 as she fled in the night), still has far to go to maintain respect
from Americans.
In the realisation that Tony Blair stands as much chance of surving the next elections as a virgin at a prison rodeo, England is most eager to maintain future relations with the US and keep the love flowing in the face of even those flag waving imbeciles hateful of other cultures. The American Redneck (a.k.a. Hillbilly), has yet to be able to identify with people who wipe their arses with cash and indeed with the entire concept of royalty. It was in this light, that the WIN A WEEKEND WITH THE QUEEN CONTEST was born and then festered. The winner, was one Cleetus K.K.K. Rhodekill of Bethlehem, Alabama whose founding fathers claim to
be the birthplace of Christ despite failing efforts to discover three wise men ever being in the town's parametres at any given time.
Cleetus, who was raised by pigs until noticed as human-like when reached puberty, was most delighted when the Queen of England herself stood on the cement block and knocked on his door. He was however not surprised, knowing he had sent in 5000 of the 5050 entries received, the remainder having been sent in by Snoop Doggy Dogg.
Cleetus claims and proves without reserve his "Marriage" to himself as he was born with both gender sex organs.
The Queen spent nearly one weekend in White Trash
Trailer Park with the one toothed Hillbilly and as per contest rules was forced to engage in such hillbilly pastimes as build the empty beer can pyramid, count the hairs on mama's chin, a competition to see who has the most completely hairless cousins,belching contests, and the pastime of burn the cross on "Tha coloured fellah's lawn" amongst other quaint traditional customs.
Living conditions were indeed different from her norm.The loo was same tree that the dog used, they both slept in same bed with nothing more between them than a rifle, and a tick ridden pet rat, and she was paraded around town in the back of his pickup truck with her waving to the rest of the town ( his cousins).She survived on grilled cheese sandwiches prepared with a clothes pressing iron and the kitchen table.
Before the week's end was up she was last seen headed for Canada in dread of a future being forced to endear herself to yanks. "I would have much preferred this Snoop Dog fellow had been victorious with his entries. I rather had preferred to be rollin' wit my dogs n da hood. The FBI is secretly deporting Irish immigrants with wild accusations of ancient terrorist connections and yet they hold on to tooth pick sucking vermin as Mr. Rhodekill?"
Cleetus replied to this news with much chagrin, saying " I was a hopin to learn to play Rule Britannia on my comb and hanky before she left."