I can't help it, and i try not to, but ive recently started taking everybodys comments to heart. Which I know I shouldn't, it's just like silly stuff. If somebody walks in the house and says 'Them pots need washing' I snap at them, then cry at night when they've all gone.

And i've had alot of grief from silly little girls who claimed to be my "best mates" at school, so i've been really down lately. For some reason they all hate me and think i'm nothing but an idiot. They all slag me off etc and then the 2 who are actually okay with me sit telling me what they say and it's getting to the point i'm regretting my decision on keeping my baby :loopy:. wishing i'd have gone to college, etc. I know that (obviously) I cannot get rid of my baby and I know deep down I don't want too! But I just sit daydreaming about the what if I did though...

Please somebody tell me this is normal to be crying alot.

Sunday night I was up til 5:50am crying my eyes out, with OH getting mad as he had to be up at 6:30am for work.

Am I stupid?
Or is this just the joys that come with pregnancy?

Thank you :confused::confused:

Hello, I just want to say I'm really sorry to hear how sad you are feeling at the moment. When you feel low even little comments made by other people can really affect you, it's like your defences are really down and you feel rubbish about yourself. I would say that it is not 'normal' to cry all the time, especially if this isn't something you normally do if you see what I mean. But being pregnant brings with it a lot of anticipation, fear of the unknown, high sensitivity and emotions. For some women this is a lot worse than for others, to do with their hormones. Do you have a nice midwife that you can tell? Don't be afraid of talking about it.
As for your friends, do you think there is an element of jealousy? Do you have anyone else you can hang out with who are more positive? Keep being honest about your feelings and try to keep your mind occupied on other things if possible to get away from the negative thoughts.
I'm sure when your bundle comes along you'll be sure you did the right thing and it will be worth it!

Hi, thanks :) My midwife is nice, but I don't know if she'll take me seriously. She seems more of the 'stubborn' type rather than the type who will do anything to put your mind at rest. I don't know if they're jealous, I doubt it. They just seem to have turned into mega b****s. I've tryed to talk with my other halfs friend who's recently had a baby but she doesn't like me. Hasn't from the first day I met her. All the other people I talk to are people i've met online, in forums and chat rooms, who are around the same age and pregnant but they all seem to be happy. Non seem to have this constant down feeling. I know i've done the right thing in keeping my baby, termination never entered my head when I found out. But now it's getting to me, lots of people including family told me i'd never cope with the stress and I think thats got somthing to do with it. The so called friends all told me I'd make a bad parent cause i'm young etc.

Thanks for your advice and sympathy :)

I'll do my best to keep my head up!

Saff said it all better than I could, but I'll try to add a couple of thoughts.

Take it easy on yourself, the hormones really get to you when you're pregnant.

I know it's easier said than done, but try to ignore all the hurtful things some people are saying. People who are nasty aren't worth the energy you're spending on them just by bothering to listen, honestly.

This may not be what you had planned, and it may not be your ideal for the future, but this baby will be the most amazing thing in your life, the most incredible thing that ever happens to you...Sometimes life takes an unexpected turn, and you just have to go with it, make the most of it, and grow stronger from it. In this instance you will be doing so with your new constant, darling companion.

Hugs, hon. I hope you're feeling better soon.

Of course having a baby is a real life change and you always have to consider your baby's needs but it's such a wonderful experience too! Honestly it's not all about sleepless nights and dirty nappies, it's also about lots of cuddles and love and wonderment.
Also, think about how strong you are being now, you got pregnant young, you made the choice to keep your baby, you've got your OH and you're coping with your feelings now, you probably don't realise what you've come through already!

I am in a similar position Gina, I cry ALL the time (there is a thread somewhere I started about it)

I had my first daughter at 17 and this is baby number 2. People said I was runing my life I should terminate etc but look at me now? I'm married to a wonderful man, have a well balanced, well mannered, clever and beautiful daughter. I have an excellent job which I love as a customer service manager and I'm expecting baby number 2.

Fair enough my life did go on hold for a couple of years when Reise was born (it'll happen this time too) but that happens no matter how old you are, how long you've tried for the baby or how unexpected the surprise was!

I know it's tough at the moment but it does get easier I promise (although I'm currently not feeling very good emotionally, my poor husband doesn't know how to cope with me)

If you ever need to chat or go for a coffee or something with someone in a similare situation then pm me.

Chin up sweetie xx

aww hun, I had that when I fell pregnant with my first daughter at 19, loads of people telling me what an idiot I was ect....I wont tell you what they all are doing now but lets just say most of them are in a bigger mess than I ever was! As for college no reason you cant do it later if you want to, I started a course to get me out of the house when my daughter was 9 months old (put her in the fantastic college creche) and stayed there for the next 5 years, I graduated in December with a HND, 2 weeks off giving birth to my 3rd child. I loved the course and miss it now I'm at home all day, but I know I have good qualifications when my little un is at nursery and I can finally kick start my career.
And as for the 'down' feeling, I was caught completely unawares with my third child, I was stuggling with my other 2 (my middle one is severly disabled following illness 2 years ago) and didnt want another baby at all, I even booked a termination ect, but decided I couldnt do it. I spent most of the pregnancy crying or stressing about something. Now shes here although its harder than I ever thought possible she is my absolute angel and I wouldnt be without her for a second.
Although I know its easier said than done, you really need to relax and take time for you at the moment. Dont panic about any of your so called friends, ask midwives to put you in touch with other new mums or go to a mother and baby class in your area to meet others and ask questions, that way you'll know people when your baby is born and it will be easier to go out and show off your bundle to them!
Dont fret about 'ruining' your life, its simply changed direction for the time being, just because you are going to be a mum does not mean everything has to stop, your dreams either change naturally or you find a way to implement them in your new style of life.

And Gina, you have spent so much time thinking about your baby and finding things out and asking questions and getting information - you're doing fantastically, and I know you're going to be a great Mum, so don't let anyone put you down.

Thanks for all the positive comments :) I really appriciate it. Spoke to my OH last night about it and he seemed to not realise and is really annoyed with himself. So, he's going to take me out ect make me feel better (We don't go out often..moneys tight!) so that's why i'm getting excited about going out :hihi: I'll take all your advice and use it. I have been introduced to a mother and baby club thing but they've all started in september and they're like courses, not just where you sit and talk.

thanks again!

Hi Gina

I should think your mates are scared in an odd way. They probably don't know what to say. You are going through something they can not currently relate to so you all be acting a little oddly with each other.

Can your midwife give you info on other mummies to be. Might be nice for you to meet people who you have something in common with at the moment.

I am making an assessment here Gina that you are young ( I am over the hill at 30 so anything younger than that seems sooooo young) - I do recall seeing info for young mummies to be to meet up when I went for a check-up at Jessops.

And tears in pregnancy - oh my how they roll! It's the hormones. Just sigh and have another piece of chocolate ( sorry I mean fruit if the midwife is reading reading this). Good luck Gina xxx

The NSPCC run a young parents club according to some info I received recently.
It's a strange place to find, behind Jellytots - if you are outside Jumbo (the Chinese buffet place in town) and walk down the side of it that's George Street and on your right is the building but the door faces the hotel so you have to walk further round to find it.
Anyway, the lady there told me that they have a teen mums baby group some afternoons.
You could call in there to ask and I'm sure they can help give you lots and lots of info and you might meet some new friends who can totally relate to you.

Thank You Zebra and Samc :) I'll go down there in the week and check it out :) Yeah I am young, (16).

Anyway thank you so much. You've all helped me loads :)

Gina x

Hi gina it is totally normal to feel this way.I have had people texting me saying "hi are u ok"?
And iv text back biting their heads off saying why should there be a reason im not. I feel like their is a odd reason their asking. And as for your friends, they do find it hard to understand and they won't till they go through it them selves. Im 24 and some of my friends are not that understanding. If i go out they think i have face on all night cos im being quiet,it aint im being funny it's just im tired or uncomfy. I have everyone asking all night am i ok.
Try going to some groups ect. I made some great friends on a prenting course a few year ago i had my other son when i was 18 and had no friends ect. They all drifted off and was doing their own friends. i did this course and made new friends with parents. we are all still friends now. Hope it goes well for you charlie x

P.s. if your ever at a lose end i will meet up with ya for a coffee not sure where ya from. I know we are due around the same time. charlie x x x

or if you just want a chat pm me. x

Thanks Hun :) I'm in hillsborough. I get really snappy, and today in the car I sat crying because I asked my mum to ask her OH to slow down, she had a go at me cause I didn't ask him! :S! I just sat there crying. Thank you for your offer. Yeah we are due around the same time (18th January..) Ginaxx

Blimey, if someone walks in your house and tells you the pots need washing, why not tell them that you're pregnant, having a haard time, and if they'd like to help you out and do it for you, you'd appreciate it. Your friends aren't very helpful are they?
Go easy on yourself, you cant do everything xx

Hi Gina - just to let you know that I had my first baby at the age of 37. I found pregnancy and birth difficult at times, feeling incredibly tired, uncared for and very tearful at the least little thing. When my baby was born it took me quite a while to adjust and get used to the big change in my life. There were times when I loved my baby so intensely and other times when I felt very distant from him and just needed to be taken care of myself. I am in awe of you for having the courage to take this all on at such a young age - I don't think I could have coped, so well done you. Your 'friends' have no idea what you are going through and I suspect that their reactions and behaviour say a lot more about the kind of people they are than the kind of person you are. Sod the washing up (excuse my language) - you are more important than dirty pots. Do what ever you feel you can manage and be kind to yourself and give yourself space and time to look after yourself as you embark on this major change in your life. Good luck x

Hi Ju-Ju, thanks for that :) It was only a cup and a dish on the side (10am in the morning and I had been up about 45minutes! My brekkie pots!!) It really peed me off the fact I got comments like it. Ahh I just suppose its hormones. I am feeling better now though! My 'friends' have even blocked me from viewing their online pages (PFFFT!) So it just goes to show really! Ahh stuff it! I have been telling myself from day 1 "They might be off to college but I've got a lifetime of my child now, I can go to college another year!" Just hope things turn out better for me! At the moment it's pretty c**p. Money issues ect!
Thanks brunette, I know I think they can all stuff off now. They've gone past my 'point'!

Thanks again to all the postive comments. Really appriciate it!

Gina x

gina can i ask how old you are i had my daughter when i just turned 18 she is now 14 months old , i know i am a complete stranger to you but if you ever want to meet up have a chat a cup of coffe just let me know i would be more than willing to join you.

i know what your going through.

vikki
xxxx

Ther you go Gina - various offers to meet up, get yourself down to Jellys - we'll make the coffee, you can see all the toddlers haring around like mad and be glad you have a baby coming rather than straight into parenitng a toddler :)

Hi Gina.

There is a mum and baby group that meet in Hillsborough on a Wednesday morning - I can't remember the time, because it's for under 1s and my little girl is over 2 now! They meet at the memorial hall on Forbes Road - the building that looks a bit like a portacabin, opposite the pub near the weir. The ladies that run it are very friendly and it's only a small group - I quite miss it actually!

There's also a mum and baby advice group that meet in the children's library in Hillsborough Park - I think it's on a Monday, but there's a poster up in the entrance. It's a breastfeeding drop-in meeting, but I'm sure you'd be more than welcome to pop along and meet people (I've never been myself though)! :)

There's also a "buggy brigade" meeting at the pavilion in Hillsborough Park on a Monday morning - can't remember the time as I'm busy on a Monday morning, I just know I miss it! It's for mums to bring their babies in the buggies and go for a walk, but I'm sure you wouldn't be turned away!

Hope these are some help - I joined a couple of groups after I had my daughter, as I still felt a bit isolated despite having lots of friends and being *ahem* a little older than you! :hihi:

we should get a forumer mother and toddler group for all ages then we can all have good moan.

i love to get things of my chest and my partner just sits and listens (yeah right) but its no good kepping inside is it.

Thanks to these replys. Didn't realise there are so many groups around. I'm 16 by the way vikki. :)

I'm deffo going to go to jellytots, i've been meaning to get down for a ages!
Thanks again xxx