I was just wondering if there are any undertakers or anyone else involved in the funeral trade on here. I'm trying to write an essay on the differences between funerary practices here and in the US. I have a lot of information on the basics like open coffins in the states, high cremation rate here compared to there etc. and the sociological attitudes towards death.

What I'm looking for is what you can't find in books: any small traditional customs we have for example why all flowers have to be cut and therefore dying, what colour flowers are/aren't allowed, why yew trees are planted down the paths to churches etc.

Any help at all from anyone would be very gratefully received!

One tradition I found odd was when my grandmother died the funeral procession went down her road past her house at walking pace and all along the road they'd closed their front window curtains. Maybe this is just a Surrey thing?

I should imagine speaking to your local Parish Priest may reveal some of your requests, Twiglet?

Different religions have different rituals at death & burial. You could do a google search using the name of a religion & other key words

buddhism funeral rituals - or death rituals

for an example. May be worth a whirl?

Originally posted by WallBuilder
One tradition I found odd was when my grandmother died the funeral procession went down her road past her house at walking pace and all along the road they'd closed their front window curtains. Maybe this is just a Surrey thing?

No it's not a Surrey thing. When I was a little girl (am now 45) everybody in our village closed their curtains on the day of the funeral, though it doesn't seem to be done these days.

I once asked my gran why she did this and she said that the coffin was always brought into the house on the day of the funeral and the curtains would be closed so that the devil couldn't get in when he came looking for the deceased. The neighbours didn't want him in their house either so they would also close their curtains. Incidently she didn't say 'close the curtains' but 'draw the blinds'.

Originally posted by Mo
No it's not a Surrey thing. When I was a little girl (am now 45) everybody in our village closed their curtains on the day of the funeral, though it doesn't seem to be done these days.

I once asked my gran why she did this and she said that the coffin was always brought into the house on the day of the funeral and the curtains would be closed so that the devil couldn't get in when he came looking for the deceased. The neighbours didn't want him in their house either so they would also close their curtains. Incidently she didn't say 'close the curtains' but 'draw the blinds'.

That's what I was told as a kid (54 now) also Mo, and we still close the curtains when there is a death in the family as a mark of respect.

Hi Twiglet.
I dont know if this info is any use to you, but i have attended quite a few sudden deaths and gone with the bodies to the Medico legal centre (Mortuary) PM me if you like, as this is a little delicate/morbid, but still a job that has to be done.

Thanks for the comments about the curtains thats the kind of thing I was looking for. As for other religions - I have plenty of information as its pretty easy to get hold of! Its the small things that are passed around by word of mouth rather than those that are written in books that are quite hard to come by.

Viking I will PM you, don't worry about delicate/morbid subjects I have a degree in forensics and I've been in the medico-legal centre to see PMs so I'm kinda used to it!.

I should think it happens rarely (if at all) now, because there are very few policemen on foot patrol but police officers out on the beat used to stand to attention and salute as a funeral procession went past - happened on the way to my grandmother's funeral (late 1960s) -= don't know if it was a Sheffield custom or more widespread

Originally posted by Twiglet
, why yew trees are planted down the paths to churches etc.

Any help at all from anyone would be very gratefully received!

Its possible that Yew trees were found in churcheyards and grave yards beacause they are poisonous to livestock. Livestock were not allowed in churchyards so there was no need to chop them down. Thats what I was told anyway.

What about Funeral Cake, is it still commonplace.

My mum always told me that the hearse/funeral procession must not follow exactly the same route back on its return journey from the cemetery. She was very superstitious and I think said it meant there would soon be another death in the same family if the route wasn't varied somehow.

I understand that there is a lot of folklore and tradition about yew trees in graveyards. They are fascinating trees for many reasons.

One is that they appear to live forever, as the original stump eventually dies and you get a circle of new stumps around it, this can go on forever and you can finish up with a ring of yew trees which are genetically the same tree quite some distance apart. This could be analogous to the dead souls living forever in heaven.

The toxic properties have always been interesting too. If you spend some time under a yew at certain times the pollen? or something to do with the sap? can cause you to have mild hallucinations. In the past people might have used this to see spirits, maybe a place to meet departed spirits? Maybe you have to chew some bark I can't remember exactly.

I like the one about keeping livestock away Lostrider.

Do birds avoid yew trees? Could this be a way of keeping Ravens away from the graves?

Originally posted by Lostrider
Its possible that Yew trees were found in churcheyards and grave yards beacause they are poisonous to livestock. Livestock were not allowed in churchyards so there was no need to chop them down. Thats what I was told anyway.

I heard that one as well Lostrider. I think it was on some wildlife programme looking at graveyards.

Birds do eat Yew berries muddy, that's the way they spread. Birds don't digest the seed.