It's a delicate one to explain this, as I can't give too much away about who I'm related to etc, so I've had to change a few names & other identifiers. (It's not me I'm referring to here, by the way).

Neil, a friend of mine, is in the middle of a messy divorce after his missus left him for another fella. Trollope, his missus, owns a business, half of which Neil is entitled to, along with half of the house, in which Trollope and her new boyfriend Mitchell are now living. Neil now lives in a house belonging to his new girlfriend.

Now, Mitchell is a psycho, and his job brings him into contact with countless thugs who do a lot of his dirty work. Mitchell and Trollope are putting a huge amount of pressure on Neil to take a paltry £10,000 from the divorce. Mitchell has made numerous threats of violence against Neil if he doesn't comply. Neil has already had seven shades of s**t kicked out of him in a local pub toilet by a group of four strangers in an unprovoked attack. It's very probable, given Mitchell's current job and background of violence, that he was behind the attack.

Neil was in court last week facing eight to twelve months in jail for breaking a restraining order brought by Trollope after he allegedly called on Trollope and Mitchell to resolve the situation. They were putting pressure on Neil to accept £10,000 in return for dropping the case. The case was dismissed through lack of evidence.

Two hours after the case, Neil's brother took a phone call on Neil's phone. Mitchell said that he had tried the law, and failed. Now he was going to do it his way, and his way would hurt. He was asked if he was threatening Neil, to which Mitchell replied yes, and hung up.

Neil's brother reported the call, but nothing came of it. Preparations have been made to tape any future calls, but none have been forthcoming this week.

Neil is under a huge amount of pressure from this thug, and is in do doubt that he will be assaulted again. Trollope is deliberately holding up the divorce process, and knowing how blindingly fast lawyers work, it may be a year before everything is finalised.

Does anyone have any ideas at all over what Neil should be doing? He refuses to accept the £10,000 offer (as I would in his circumstances), and refuses to cut down on his unaccompanied walks to the three local pubs he drinks at. It's very likely that his next kicking will be far more severe than the first one.

Move to a differnt area and let the legal process take it's course. No he should not have to move but it must be the easiest option, they can't do anything, your friend won't get a kicking or be worried all the time, all correspondence through solicitors. The thug and the Trollope wil be the ones who suffer. :)

Unfortunately he wont have it, neeek. Neil is a stubborn sod. He's set in his ways as far as seeing his mates regularly. His pubs are his life.

Originally posted by Ant
Unfortunately he wont have it, neeek. Neil is a stubborn sod. He's set in his ways as far as seeing his mates regularly. His pubs are his life.

Well if you have someone threatening you, and you feel that you can't "back down" then violence is going to be the result.

I don't think anyone is going to come up with some magic ideal answer that gets him exactly what he wants and stops the trouble, unless the answer you want is "hire some even bigger thugs to sort these other thugs out".

your mate needs to keep a low profile for awile,then use psychology on this mitchel *******,get women to ring up the house asking for him when you know hes not in and that the slag will answer the phone,.get someone to tail him when hes on his own then report him for dangerouse driving,find out where he drinks,report a man with his description has a gun,wasting police time yes but alls fair in a war like this and you never know what the police may find on him.cancel the gas and electric,trite but annoying,let two of his tyres down then when hes late home to trollope he has to convince her why he is late,especially as she had a phone call from a girl earlier that evening get a bloke to ring trollopes house when shes out and hesin,human nature,they wont last long together when the suspicion starts........no need for violence,let them destroy each other.........

In which case it's all going to end in tears.. I would wish him luck but think some times people have to help themelves. Can he not treat it like a very very well paid job working away for a year.. If he get's 100grand out of it in a years time then he can spend alot more time in the pub for the next ten years, otherwise all his mates are going to get sick of listening to him bleat on about how his ex screwed him over and probably stop going to the pub with him anyway!

...unless the answer you want is "hire some even bigger thugs to sort these other thugs out"

It's not a magic answer I'm after. Perhaps someone has been in a similar situation and could offer a little insight. We are considering one or two last resorts that are outside the law, but we want really to do this legally.

otherwise all his mates are going to get sick of listening to him bleat on about how his ex screwed him over and probably stop going to the pub with him anyway!

This is probably happening already. Neil isn't exactly handling this very well. The intense pressure he's under isn't helping, but he's a tendancy to do exactly the thing that will screw the situation up even more.

Remind me never to upset depoix!

Or maybe he should put this down to experience and be a little more careful when he's choosing his next wife?

go to the local pub as normal, and in a seperate group have a group of 8 largish lads also go.

If or when any kicking starts to occur, large group of lads can intervene and hold all the aggressors until the police arrive.

As none of these thugs will particularly want to go down for ABH/attempted GBH or whatever, they'll squeel on Mitchel and he can go down for a while.

Only requirement is to find a group of friendly people who'll help out Neil.

report a man with his description has a gun

He is rumoured to carry one anyway. I do appreciate the advice tho depoix, these are the sort of things we've being considering if it comes down to it.

Or maybe he should put this down to experience and be a little more careful when he's choosing his next wife?

Easier said than done, Yoda. She seemed okay at first, it seems she's 100% money-driven. Her and Mitchell deserve each other.

Cheers, Cyclone. We've tried to arrange this actually. Hopefully they wont catch us off-guard. Also we're worried if he targets Neil's girlfriend. We wouldn't put it past him.

I would love to know the out come of all this, sounds like a SOPRANOS episode, just hope only the bad guys get hurt.

I certainly don't condone violence, but sometimes don't you just feel like getting a group of blokes together and sorting out the 'bad guys'? :gag:

I saw another thread not long ago about a lady who was being beaten by her man etc, and it just makes me very angry and sick of the bullies you can come across these days... :mad:

I would love to know the out come of all this, sounds like a SOPRANOS episode, just hope only the bad guys get hurt.

There's a script in it somewhere. It looks like being some months before the divorce is finalised and Neil receives his money.

I certainly don't condone violence, but sometimes don't you just feel like getting a group of blokes together and sorting out the 'bad guys'?

Sadly, sometimes this is what it comes down to. The police don't seem to give a damn.

there are two sides to every story and then there is the truth.
you're not going to get any specific (or magic if you prefer) answers on here because nobody on here knows all the ins and outs of the case.
if your friend's safety is really in danger i sincerely doubt the police won't be interested, you just have to be persistent. why not move in with him and take extra security precautions until the situation becomes more stable? if your friend is too stubborn to accept help like this for whatever reason (ego, pride etc) it is your job as his friend to convince him otherwise. an eye for an eye and we all go blind springs to mind... along with you can't fight fire with fire. be smart and follow legal routes otherwise the situation will only escalate. that's why will live in a society of law and order!

depoix has the right idea here (well done).

don't attack mr thug head on (where he is strong) ... neil needs to be calm and clever ... stop think and formulate stratagy before acting ... and if he's gonna be stubborn that will not help his case.

if he can be devisive and drive a wedge / seperate the couple ... then mr thug will have no vested interest in continued aggression towards neil ... he can then pursue legal avanues to get back what's his ... infact he should be in the house an kick the woman out (he can use violence to get rid of the woman after her thug BF is outta the picture ... isolate that b!tch then ruin her).

the majority of his efforts should defo go towards spliting them up.

good luck ... hope it goes well.

The trouble is, Melanie, Neil made a nuisance of himself with the divorce, hence the restraining order. He's not too good at closure. The police were called over to his house dozens of time to find him drunk, banging on her door. He's not a bad bloke, just a p**s artist sometimes. Its just that the police got a little sick of it.

Neil's brother was "smirked at" by the officer who took the details at Moss Way over the phone. There was no statement taken, just a couple of notes. He was told that they'd ring him back later that night, but the officer never got in touch again.

Originally posted by Ant
The trouble is, Melanie, Neil made a nuisance of himself with the divorce, hence the restraining order. He's not too good at closure. The police were called over to his house dozens of time to find him drunk, banging on her door. He's not a bad bloke, just a p**s artist sometimes. Its just that the police got a little sick of it.

Neil's brother was "smirked at" by the officer who took the details at Moss Way over the phone. There was no statement taken, just a couple of notes. He was told that they'd ring him back later that night, but the officer never got in touch again.

they wont do as the laws against men which have come in to power with the media highlighting domestic violence,they police are now swayed to protect the woman more, which is all well and good as ive been at the brunt of a severe DV situation, but its women like 'trolloppe' who misue this system at work, when theres REAL cases of DV what needs attention

my advice to neil is to keep a low profile and keep out of the way, its already proved theat neil aint going to get ANY support by making a nuisance of himself indirectly,its a shame as DV affects both parties specially when a third party is involved, in this case i repeat trollope should be ****in ashamed of herself for using and abusing DV support when she dont need it!
aunty witch xx

Ant, are you SURE you're not an "Eastenders" script writer looking for ideas.

:suspect:

Originally posted by foo_fighter
Ant, are you SURE you're not an "Eastenders" script writer looking for ideas.

:suspect:

well if he is, he can check out the thread i wrote on here and use that too "does the spectre of domestic violence ever leave you" the story of mine is incredible,no one belives its happened, but it has!
regards
aunty witch xx

Ant, are you SURE you're not an "Eastenders" script writer looking for ideas.

Afraid not, Foo. It's very serious. And it's a small world, I had a pm last week from a poster to this thread who knows the "Mitchell" guy (not his actual name, of course).

Depoix and Jamie ( Hi Jamie ) may agree with me that there are ways to deal with this guy. Some of us have the T Shirt. No you cannot mention names. But would you mention the pubs. Have reasons for asking.

That would have to be a no. The pubs are around Mosborough, Westfield etc. Why the interest? pm if you prefer.

it would be best if your friend saw a solicitor about the threats and the violence, and he should keep a record of every time this happens (phone calls ect). His solicitor can then write to mitchell advising him to stop this, if it continues then he can get an injuction (there are many types of these .... ones with power of arrest attatched... his solicitor will know which one to obtain) against mitchell using any type of intimidation against him.

Thats OK Ant

I came across a similar scenario a few weeks ago. A guy in a pub chatting about a similar case. This guy was on about violence also. I was glad when he was eventually knocked off of his seat by someone else that heard him also. Guys like that are not men. Just bullies, They can be handled. But using the law is very hard . He must have a weak spot guys like himusually do. I guess it makes men like us that respect women angry to be in any way associated with trash like that.

Ant

You can lead a horse to water...

...and you can only give your mate so much advice. If he won't take it up, there's not much you can do about it. The most sensible thing I've heard in this thread is for him to lie low for a bit while the legal process starts to take its course. The trouble with going outside the law is that it can so easily lead to a tit-for-tat escalation that gets dangerously out of control.