i know theres been threads on this subject before but here goes...

i had the courage to tell my abusive husband not to come back (he was in the habit of leaving me, with no money etc... at least 17 times during our short marriage, after rows argueing and mental and physical abuse and dissapear to the pub for a few days ,the time span getting longer every time he left) in the end id had enough,sometimes on occaisions of taking him back ,kidding myself that all will be fine this time,
the abuse started a couple of hours after taking him back sometime, never mind a few weeks.

anyway i had the courage to do this and made the police aware that i meant business and i anticipated trouble when he learns hes not going to be allowed back...three weeks passed and as i suspected, he was begging to come back...i said no the abuse multiplied tenfold,he was telephoning at first followed by a visit to the marital home to smash the door and windows in and running off, then, he got a bit brave and smashed the door and windows in,and ENTER the property but luckily i had the foresite to get out before he arrived,

these incidents were all reported to the police, they caught up with him, locked him up for the night to appear in court the next day,only to be 'bailed' to come and do it all over again, i took out an injunction, he breached that,he attempted arson, he got away with that (false alibi) he put me in hospital,got away with the charge of abh,in the end it went to court as i had the foresite to submit my allegations to the CPS myself and asked them to pool the catalogue of offenses together, finallly the judge issued a restraining order with a punishment of 5 years if him or any third party harassed me for a 12 month period, ha! some joke, he sent his minions to cause trouble 6 months after that, my self and my new partner(whom im now happily married to) were charged ourselves for defending ourselves despite the history of the situation,they didnt get charged with a thing!

i was a council tennant then im now in the process of a right to buy,and the 'unco-operative' council officials had the sympathy of a brick, and refused to rehouse me near my family as they were aware that 'he' was living in that area,i stayed here in the original marital home,faced the music,stood my ground and rebuilt my life,only to learn that ive had an anti-social behaviour report (not order) slapped on my file, due to the hassle his antics caused by smashing windows etc.. sending third parties to cause trouble at my house (this is all been disputed in a court soon and i have a solicitor involved so cant go into much detail about that as theres other matters involved with the recipients im taking to court ) AND now learn that this week my EX abusive partner has been REHOUSED round the corner from me with his new partner!!!!!

ive contacted the housing who have in turn replied that they cannot do anything unless he batters or intimidates me again!

i have spoken to everyone in officialdom and no one seems to be able to do anything about it....

id like to make it clear that DV is an ongoing thing and is a catalyst for other problems to potentially enter your life,its not only about eraseing your abuser for good its also the fact what comes after dv sufferers should be aware of,

aunty witch xx<in a subdued mood today because of this relevation>

You can understand why the likes of Sara Thornton went to the extremes they did.

If you try to obey the law it seems to slap you on the face. It's only there to protect criminals (it seems)

I had an abusive partner. Fast foward to a few years on and I'm struggling with life and everything; open a national newspaper and read that my ex has set up his own company, won awards for photography and generally come up smelling of roses. I'm not saying I wanted him to have a miserable life (I don't believe in an eye for an eye and all that) but I had hoped that he would have been made to look at his life and consider what was wrong with it, rather than ending up better off than ever! In that respect I know where you are coming from, screamingwitch.

Hi there

I've never experienced DV personally but worked with a womens refuge a few years ago and can understand a bit how strong you must have been to deal with this - and to continue to deal with it. Just wanted to say 'well done you'.

Sorry I'm not sure what best to suggest you should do now - but great you're talking about it here. Maybe the local womens aid will have some useful suggestions or provide some support to you and your family..sheffieldwomensaid@ukonline.co.uk
That address might be a bit old though so pls also try mail@daforum.fsnet.co.uk

when you are looking at it from a distance of 8 years and 200 miles it seems like a lifetime ago, like it happened to a different person. It might sound strange but it gives me strength to know that i lived through the eye of the storm and came out the other end and i've been able to guide my like in a happier direction.

i know its really difficult to focus on your own future while you are still dealing with the aftermath but you have your own future after this so make some preparations for that.

Just keep going and one day you will wake up and not even think about it.

Oh, and if you believe in reincarnation, this guy is coming back as a football ;)

Originally posted by moongarden

Oh, and if you believe in reincarnation, this guy is coming back as a football ;)

ROFLMAO - and knowing Screamingwitch she will make darn sure of it aswell!

thanx all for your input and supportive replies, ive already been in touch with the DAFFs (domestic v forum) who supported me three years ago and see if theres some solution to all this.
im not moving away,i stood my ground last time and still being strong, lets just hope my strength keeps up
luv aunty witch xx

screaming witch good luck,i was in a dv marriage,i left and have never been better:) best wishes

Anyone who uses violence to intimidate their partner is the lowest of the low,their is absolutley no excuse for it and they deserve to get the full weight of the law on them.
This is a problem that does not get the recognition that it ought to and this needs to be addressed the sooner the better.