Mine says,

"Hi you twonk, how's ur day?"

She loves me really.

What does your latest text say?

Mine says "Are we going to the gym?" I still haven't replied:hihi::hihi:

Mine is too rude to post

Can't tell you what my latest text says- it's about a surprise present for someone (and they're on the forum!).

'did you get it'

No I'm not doing nites this week but not watchin match cos gonna c richard hawley

Feeling randy, please call....

Mine was from Vodafone advertising their latest realtones for 3 quid apiece.

They can sod right off, my last contract bill was a fortune due to WAP browsing and downloads.

A joke in extremely poor taste about the mcCanns

Thanks Mum. Sorry. Don't buy Heat I've got it. X x x

"you're weird"

That's the last time I use a rip van winkle reference to a 21 year old.

"Okay, so you want to change to a 20 minutes and 30 texts bundle for £7.50? Great. We'll change you over to this on your next renewal date, which is 12/10/07."


Not half as much fun as the previous one I got

ok and ok see u 2morrow
(from my son)

Mine says,

"Hi you twonk, how's ur day?"

She loves me really.

What does your latest text say?

Mines from my lovely husband telling me he's on his way home :) :love: kiss kiss, and we've been married for 38 yrs :bigsmile:

Mmmm

My other half is trying to guess where we're going for our anniversary....

Little does she know that the Dinnington Ramada inn are doing some special deals at the moment :love::love:

"Am watching Dog Soldiers which i taped the other eve. V scarey and a bit gory but trifc stuf!"

A joke in extremely poor taste about the mcCanns

Ditto. PM me yours and I'll PM you mine :D

"OK OK i take it back, i'll get you chocolate then yeah?"

If we orda a pizza wil u pay 4 it

mine was a good joke lol

Mine was another personal one thats too rude to divulge

"Yer Alton Towerz 2moz so mustnt get carried away with the england pub drinking! The house is pretty clean 2!"

"sorry can't make it i'll ring you in week"
so now what shall i do? ?

"Good s - - t" I'll do it tomorrow, Been on there for my car insurance" - from my son

x :hihi:

"when you try that gun, don't tell her they shock you, let it be a surprise and then when she discovers theres something wrong,shoot the **** out of her."

Did you save me tea ?

"Hampshire army town _ _d_r_ _ _ t"

Just the latest in a long string of texts from my daughter struggling with a crossword. If it's not crosswords, it's pub quizzes...

don't worry its still there it hasn't been nicked x

"sorry can't make it i'll ring you in week"


tha's bin dumped love! :(

(that wasn't my last text btw)



Mine was "do you want some ciggys, can't see embassy number one though"
from brother who brought me a lighter from South Africa, as I didn't respond quick enough, with "yes yes yes, get me anything" :hihi:

"sorry can't make it i'll ring you in week"
so now what shall i do? ?

thanks ash but luckily it was from a girlfriend! and i'v no one to dump me anyway lol

My last text just says "Thanks"..:D

get up ya lazy git! :o

*unknown message format* cannot open.

the number had like 15-17 digits... :S

Any ideas?

To cut a rather large message short i think it was 4 parts in total.

3rd time writing this people keep ringing, sorry 4 delay, busy day went from placement to meadowhall to buy pink top and uv stuff to go gym to come home, find police dusting, attempted breakin bf scared him off, glad everyone liked ur t-shirt can't wait to see it, friday = mint, think bedtime exhausted x

and thats the condensed version!

ps the police were dusting for prints not doing house work which maybe misconstrued

got work on a site in town x

(from my manfriend)

boring !!!

mine was:
Whats worse than letting Michael Jackson babysit your kids?...................Letting the McCanns take them on holiday.

Something very rude! :blush:

I left my phone lying around and my nosy manager read all my texts :o He hasnt stopped ribbing me over it yet! :( :cry:

mine was a rude joke, cant write it on here

Silly Boy - He must be bored x:D

mine was

''half 8 at the rawson im on the pear cider cu there sweedie''

from my friend who i will be gettin lairy with later!!

everyone to the rawson and we can all go oooOOO and see who it is!

everyone to the rawson and we can all go oooOOO and see who it is!

haha!!! good idea!!

"Remind me tonight and I'll email all you need to know.x"

Wooo! (hed) p.e. soon! X x

Mine was

"Hiya Tuppy! u uppin it?"

It makes sense to me lol :loopy:

'Spoke to my dad, he's not sure if he'll have a ticket, depends if my sister has dropped one yet.'

My latest was 'get a life you sad *******'

I was testing whether I could actually text meself. It worked.:)

Mine says wrote in txt:::

Hey bbz hws u 2day did you (cant say this bit private in a good way) i cnt w8t t c u friday tis bin along time (removed :P) ill fone rwnd evry1 n let dem no its stil on anywy bbe wtya bin gerrin up2 tis last few wyks tb lvya lotz (removed the name lol) mwa x x x x (a few more kisses lol)<3 p.s. if ya dnt rply i no u in bed cus its lyk 4 in morning lol >-)


Well thats my last one lol that was at 10 past 4 this morning lol

My latest was 'get a life you sad *******'

I was testing whether I could actually text meself. It worked.:)

Quality !!!

Mine says
SALE AT HMV Pavarotti cd's are now at tenor off

My last text? It says simply "Bungalow".

''team gorgeous are touring manchester, our first stop is stockport'' it makes sense to me.... :hihi: :D

Mine says "My stalker walked on my side of the road today and said I;m sexy !!! Caught me off guard and I said thank you how stupid am i ?!!!"

Ha ha .. bless her cotton socks

"Ay up dude! Sorry i didn't make it last night! How did it go?"

'Has the cat got your thumbs'

(I'd forgotten to text someone back)

"Prince was awesome last night. Elton John came on and sang with him - great night all in all"

"got pukkaz"

"got pukkaz"

haha:hihi: mine was similar to that

haha:hihi: mine was similar to that
Best thing is I dont touch it anymore. When I wanted it there was none and now I dont its everywhere :rolleyes:

x :hihi:
Yeah, sure ;)

Can't say as someone on here would be tremendously embarassed :P

Possibly :hihi:

yo dont know if b out yet as going whitby 2nite

"Ok".
/filler

"Dad can i cum downstairs wit you when u get home from work" from my daughter (got home at 12:20 a.m and mi princess didnt make it..............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Nottingham (dep. xxxx, 29th Sep.) to Sheffield [arr. xxxx]
TXT 'NOTT. to SHF.' to 484950 for real-time info. (25p.)
www.nationalrail.co.uk

I won't get another text til monday......at the parents house and no signal here :(

Damn the Lake District!

I had a good one the other day, though it wasnt the last one i received. it went like this:

U won't believe this! I've just won a competition 4a holiday to Greece. It includes £2000 in spending money & also allows me 2 take 5 m8s away with me. I know it's short notice, but if u're free friday the 14th Sepember, is there any chance u cud put my bin out 4 me? Cheers m8!

I was completely taken in by it, until I got to the end! :loopy:

I won't get another text til monday......at the parents house and no signal here :(

Damn the Lake District!
My heart bleeds for you:rolleyes:

(that wasn't my last text btw:hihi:)

'Haha that's so random but actually hilarious'
In reference to my mum finding me stuck in my cupboard at 5am this morning trying to find the way out of my room. :huh::hihi:

mine mentioned black stockings an thats all i'm sayin lol

"I know, it's embarrassing. Why don't we just make another?"

"I know, it's embarrassing. Why don't we just make another?"
You're not talking about kids are you?:o

"Jesus love haha, it must be fekkin huge! Like my girthage! Paddy can't go on tuesday god dammit! I will try get onion because i don't wanna be the only male!"

I bloody love this thread! haha, i just noticed how irish my boyfriend is, the swearing, the friend called Paddy and another called onion, but the irish aren't really all that backwards... are they??

"I know, it's embarrassing. Why don't we just make another?"

Wasn't Peter Kay refering to the rerun of Pheonix Nights that started last night was it.... new series in the pipeline?

(Only messing, nothing to be embarrassed about - we were p****g ourselves laughing for an hour)

Mine is 'You can if you want.'!

I had a good one the other day, though it wasnt the last one i received. it went like this:

U won't believe this! I've just won a competition 4a holiday to Greece. It includes £2000 in spending money & also allows me 2 take 5 m8s away with me. I know it's short notice, but if u're free friday the 14th Sepember, is there any chance u cud put my bin out 4 me? Cheers m8!

I was completely taken in by it, until I got to the end! :loopy:

i think this is the best one so far. :)

I had a good one the other day, though it wasnt the last one i received. it went like this:

U won't believe this! I've just won a competition 4a holiday to Greece. It includes £2000 in spending money & also allows me 2 take 5 m8s away with me. I know it's short notice, but if u're free friday the 14th Sepember, is there any chance u cud put my bin out 4 me? Cheers m8!

I was completely taken in by it, until I got to the end! :loopy:

I had this one sent to me a few weeks back, from Briggy1967 on here :hihi:

My latest one though is 'How are you sis? x' :D

i think this is the best one so far. :)


Thank you! (I think so too!):hihi::hihi:

mine says 'swingers club @ 12''

Scaredy Cat LOL u wait til Monday xx:o

My latest one though is 'How are you sis? x' :D
Who sent you that?

my friend sent me "i just woke up and im hungry"
it was 18.30

" you cruel mother! "

Who sent you that?

One of my brothers of course :D

My latest one though is 'Got up for a tiddle...lol, You managed to sleep in ur own bed yet? :hihi:

My latest one though is 'Got up for a tiddle...lol'

How ever did we live before the mobey.:rolleyes::hihi:

makes ya wonder dosnt it :)

Scaredy Cat LOL u wait til Monday xx:o
What you gettin' on Monday MAD??? :heyhey:

How ever did we live before the mobey.:rolleyes::hihi:

:hihi: :hihi:

'Spoke to my dad, he's not sure if he'll have a ticket, depends if my sister has dropped one yet.'

well?
did she do a massive fart?

well?
did she do a massive fart?

:hihi: I swear you're filthy :hihi:

What you gettin' on Monday MAD??? :heyhey:

Dunno but maybe it's scary .....:o

mine was from one of my girlfriends....

it was one of those ''angels exist that dont have wings they are called true friends ...blah blah blah...so pass it on to all of you true friends and you will have good luck'' or something!!!

Dunno as I accidentally left my mobile at home today. :(

"u r a sad w*nk*r, pls donot contact me evr agin u tw*t"


Not really the sort of thing you expect from your mum, is it?

"u r a sad w*nk*r, pls donot contact me evr agin u tw*t"


Not really the sort of thing you expect from your mum, is it?

ha!!!! :hihi:

My latest is.......

No, I'm not getting you some pork out of the freezer, have a jacket spud n beans instead.

Typical woman !!

"Glad it finally arrived"

"Meeting dragging on and on. We're going for food afterwards. Will phone later. xxx"

All impeccably punctuated too :D .

I am in bed have work tomoz n 2 b honest im glad i moved nice 2 c u 2 n we shud meet up sometime 4 a spliff n chat if thats ok wiv u x

"I've never had an omelette people say they're easy to make but i wouldn't know where to start. Fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish"

mine said

''u still up for thursday nyt bitch''

Mine said 'Can I come round later for a sh*g?'

And it wasn't from my fella!

"How's your toe today?" from my mum.

I'd stopped there over the weekend and after taking a shower Sunday morning I stepped out of the bath and slid wildly on the laminate floor. After flailing desperately for a second or two, my left foot kicked the underside of the radiator hard, drawing blood from my little toe.

I texted back "A bit sore, but okay. Buy a bigger bathmat!"

mine said

''u still up for thursday nyt bitch''

I see the vicar has got the hang of texting then.

"I know you mums be me have a good good x xx"

Rather baffled but it seems pleasantly intended.

Mine said..

"Morning Babes, CRAB DOWN! CRAB DOWN! xxx "

Which I now know means one of the pet crabs we bought for the aquarium has bought the big one. :cry:

I see the vicar has got the hang of texting then.

yep he is expecting me in stockings and suspenders at 8pm in the vestry. with a bull whip.

Im not sure if I can give u a lift to the match later I'll have to check because I'm working nights so I'm not sure if I can go. text you again soon.

I can update you all on this in a bit if your that interested into his next iminent text.

Mine said 'Can I come round later for a sh*g?'

And it wasn't from my fella!

Sorry, wrong number!

yep he is expecting me in stockings and suspenders at 8pm in the vestry. with a bull whip.

Can I come too?:love:

Can I come too?:love:

I suspect you just did.

Can I come too?:love:

yeh just make sure you bring that gimp mask

"Missing you, nervous about giving blood, but pleased we going at last. Reading book in sunny car now....."

and then some that no-one else needs to know!

"Missing you, nervous about giving blood, but pleased we going at last. Reading book in sunny car now....."

and then some that no-one else needs to know!

well you shouldnt have said that last bit cus now we all want to know- duh!!!

mine says...

"ah dont say that u shud go anyway.but ill come dont worry.your right thursdays are our night. And ill be online in 20 mins.on way home now from my mums so speak soon love ya"

From one of my best mates.

"Hello. I'm at Warsaw airport now, but phone is refusing to connect. See you soon xxx."

"You're such a bitch at times x" :o

Don't i know it :banana: :hihi:

Dunno but maybe it's scary .....:o
So what happened then yesterday MAD?

I got a rather nice picture via text of someone's bottom :o

u smell

every now an then me an mates just send u smell just to let them know not forgot about eachother :hihi: need to get out more

A message from my boss sent yesterday telling me what time she will be at office.

A joke about Colin Mcrae, and viagra

The rest you can fill in

" I've seen it thanx . X . "

Last night a man got his viagra and sleeping tablets mixed up. He went to bed for forty waxxs

"Where did that thread about immigration disappear to? It was just getting interesting"

"It sounds shagged to me."

NEWSFLASH-Foot and mouth found on Scottish farm. Still no idea where the rest of Colin Mcrae is though

are you still up for that suicide bombing tomorrow ?

Now Pavarotti has died his wife is selling their camper van. Its a Nissan Dorma

Colin Mcrae's wife has withdrawn her money from Northen Rock & now deposited it in a Scottish widows account

"Me and Bob gonna set one up. Just need to think of a name. What you doing this weekend?"

PHARMACY NOTICE. As of March 2007 viagra will only be sold under its chemical name. Please ask for Mycoxaflopin.

LMAO

"Hope you gave him a shiner"

"where did you dispose of the body?"

Smell, my OP has now been booked in for Monday when you go away. Watch em cancel it again, w*nkers.

"Doc said eye Ok will clear on own, will just have to look like a vampire for a few days!"

'she wont'

I'll be home just after 6pm sweetheart xxx

'Yeah, Yeah. I'm sure Deej would have something to say about that! x'

the one about a man going to the doctors after being raped by an ellephant

R u in bed Nat? Just wondered if you want any nails to put ur pictures up. Just dropped my phone on Jacks head.

Thanks (name withheld), finished too late this time

Hello mom ....

How are you fella?

"Good Morning babe, guess what? ITS FRIDAY! 1 more sleep!! Hope you have a nice day baby, let me know what ure getting up 2 :) Love you babygirl speak 2 u later xxxxxxxxxxxx"

Well actually thats the second one now, ive just got a text from Tmobile saying "YOUR HANDSET IS READY TO COLLECT FROM THE SHEFFIELD T-MOBILE STORE. REGARDS, T-MOBILE RETAIL."

Cant believe ive never seen this thread before, its so funny to read!

:o yes she was in Middlewood Hospital

My last txt was a crude joke I would not feel comfortable posting on here.

mine said

oh dear, sorry to hear that. not sure about next week off the top of my head, i'll have to check with neil

Mine said
"Me and bump are both fine thanks, hope you are too. We're having a great time, see you on wednesday"

Mine said

"Think it'll require full nuclear, chemical and radioactive protective gear for sure"

Say around 2pm yr office x

From a friend who's coming to see me about a holiday!

mines a joke ........... and its filthy, sorry

mines a joke ........... and its filthy, sorry

Awwww! :hihi:

Mine was:

Shouldn't be too long. Got to stop in town to pick up a few things. I'll let you know when I'm home.

is this still a family forum? :suspect:

mine was a filthy joke if u really want to no pm me :) about KFC its a good one

Mine was
'John Bryan? Did what for Fergie?'

My little love monkey was trying to get me to help him cheat at the pub quiz.

my latest was from a good friend who is having a crisis, "im coming to yours. Now" No kisses or owt i thought i was in trouble!!

"morning. been thinking re lisa. night be worth us having one last look on internet, so i'll put that guy off a day"

"I almost died when you all saw me at the market, the woman I was with is my new girlfriend and shes married, the little girl she was with is hers.
Love Vicky"

I never get texts only spam thousands of em.:hihi::hihi::hihi:

See you on SF on Sunday !:cool:

"You are too funny to live x"

'Me too, hopefully! More wine then food, definitely! xx'

"Durr I so thick"

Casbar where r you.x

I appreciate the offer chicken no need though and ditto for you with the wee man. Your mum really will kill you don't buy it! (From Anniec...)

see ya soon x

Dont forget to get some credit for your phone , luv ya babe , Mum xx

Dont forget to get some credit for your phone , luv ya babe , Mum xx

How old are you kazza? (if you don't mind me asking? :blush:)

How old are you kazza? (if you don't mind me asking? :blush:)

I'm 33 babe :)

Ah fair enough :)
Can't put my texts on here :(

Ah fair enough :)
Can't put my texts on here :(

bit naughty are they? ;)

I'll say 'personal' :suspect::|:D

Curry tonight?:love:

Fancy playing squash today?

I love beer

I love beer
You're meant to quote the last text you got, not make statements of fact :rolleyes:

:D

'Was just going to text you about them. A bit tender to say the least'




:hihi: :hihi:

'Was just going to text you about them. A bit tender to say the least'




:hihi: :hihi:

:hihi::hihi: Celebrate your engagement last night then?

:hihi::hihi: Celebrate your engagement last night then?

Yup we did but it was from D2J :o :hihi:

from fella "Please can you ask John bowt them tyres, if he needs the size they're 225/40/18, thanks hun love you xx"

See it makes no sense to me but i asked John and he understood it so all is well!

I'm missing you lots :(

Aww, I'm missing her too :(

Ok............

I'm one min away

'would that be weird for you?'

haha

Sorry your messaging service is unavailable due to insufficient funds!!:rant::hihi:

'i hope he doesn't expect another tenner! X' from my husband, my son has lost another baby tooth :)

'i hope he doesn't expect another tenner! X' from my husband, my son has lost another baby tooth :)

a tenner for a baby tooth?!? I got 50p!!!!

a tenner for a baby tooth?!? I got 50p!!!!

I got £1 - looks like we was both robbed :hihi: You more than me though :D

"fantastie"

(In response to the Leeds result yesterday)

I've been working all weekend :(

From my mate letting me know what he's been doing.

"if you don't mind rikku going for your gullit, yeah come over"

my mates cat rikku has just had kittens and i asked if we could come over and poke them

My brother just rang, Pebbles had 5 babies. 1 is skinny, hope the other carriers are sows lol

It's a good job I didn't post any of the obscene ones I got off some woman last night just because I deigned to send her bf a joke text (he's a friend of mine!!!!) :rant:

"are you even awake yet?" My mum after trying to ring me 12 times..and the answer was "I am now, thanks to you!" :hihi:

I'd prefer you forgive me...

I'm missing you lots :(

Aww, I'm missing her too :(

That better have been from me:hihi:

no not heard owt x

I will x

I told Jibbs to enjoy his birthday!

Oooh mine was from jibbs too! "Thanks chuck x" I also said happy birthday to the old codger:D

TWO women texting - he's a one :hihi:

we've had some funny times together. Remember when we were drivin and i stuck my arse out of the window and you put your head out and people thought we were twins

"be careful hun, have a nice day shopping! love u. xx"

'Venice 31 degrees C, phew. Who won, Donny or Leeds?'

pfffft will you be able to go tomorrow, you better do!! x

"Congratulations, you're fired"

Q: What's the number one cause of paedophilia in the UK?

A: Sexy kids.

Lets go see g'ma soon or she'l be cross!x

Nigel just got in touch to say he has a spare ticket for the Mikado tomorrow if you are interested

Ok................

Nothing - my inbox has been empty for about an hour now :(

Good Mornin babe, hope your alright? Can't wait to be back with you on saturday :) You look absolutely beautiful in your new dress. Sorry i didnt text back last night, attempted to reply to both of your messages and fell asleep both times - oops! have a nice day, I love you xxx

Hello from Orange, please call Customer Services to take part in our survey

" hello my bestest friend, sorry I couldn't text you from JAMAICA!!! I beg u call me asap!"


ooooh that sounds interesting doesn't it? ;)

I sent my friend a photo of my Great Grand-daughter with her new baby brother. She texted back:-
I had a look this morning...she's lovely. She doesn't half look like you now.
Made my day cos I'd thought it but didn't like to say.:hihi:

What have you planned for dinner tonight? (not posting rest of text - family forum) :)

"fine, i'll see you then"

Hi -----(name) weather brill today, chilly now. spent 4 hours driving to find a campsite, most full. hope to go to Colwyn bay tomorrow

well, too f***in late :o

Did you get the bedding plants you wanted ?

I havent had any texts for bloody weeks!
Talk about Billy no mates!

mine was a joke family forum and all that :)

giz a bell

Should slap my firm cheeks then eh? ;)

And it wasn't from D2J :o :hihi:

Mine says,

"Hi you twonk, how's ur day?"

She loves me really.

What does your latest text say?

Mine simple said...........NID....:suspect: it must be a code or something....:hihi::P

I havent had any texts for bloody weeks!
Talk about Billy no mates!

This might cheer you up mate? :)

We are showing the movie Jabberwocky at 9pm tonight HERE (http://www.justin.tv/thecityofsheffield)

Baby girl was born about 3am this morning.

The end bit says "Can't wait to get home to you xx"

Aww:)

Mine says "Morning hun, you okay? Really didnt wanna get up this morning! Hope you slept well, ill ring you at lunch. Love you loads babe! xxxxxxx"

The end bit says "Can't wait to get home to you xx"

Aww:)

Wonder who sent that??

Wonder who sent that??

Well there's only me and thee who live here dearie;)

'Not just a pretty face, hahaha'

All is well. Phew! My feet are actually fine. Night night.

Yeah it's great up here. Weather is lovely. On our way fishing hehe x

From our very own Kirsty who is in Scotland with Roop. Lucky cow:hihi:

"check out the lady who plays her mummy too (-;"

In relation to this thread (http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=357006)

"Yeah, I'll meet you there. See you tomorrow"

'why have you gone red?'

"2 I think?"

Been ok ta. Not seen any football yet. Not same without england x

"I did wonder. Fantastic claim to fame. In my eyes at least"

aww I just got the loveliest text of my fella, i text him like "ahemmm we have been together for nine months today i think your forgetting!" and he text me saying;

"I was waiting until I spoke to you at dinner if im honest babe, I prefer to tell you not text you hehe. Happy 9 months huni, love you loads xxxxxx"

I know its not a long long time but its a big deal to me :)

After *******'s haircut, can you bring some sausages, cheers hon.x

Wakey, wakey!

Can you nip round to cut my hair when you got time this week, cheers chick x

aching like a ****. tried some coffee 5 min later brought it back up! No coffee me thinks! xx

Delivered .

Your sandwich rules!..from my fella he stayed over and i made him a packed lunch :)

Sorry babe ur still hot though :) xxx

Lies! pleasant Lies!:suspect::roll:

How are you today, see you later

Thanks for the invite sweetheart, I'll see you Saturday morning if that's OK.