mine was...............lol, thats a great one.

yes, but dont tell anyone

"Thank you they've only just left. What a lovely bunch! Will look later. Didn't expect that just thought it was me being asked questions by a disembodied voice"

Just docked at Dover.....my daughter coming over from Luxembourg to see her new Grandson.

'Are you going out again today?'

Me too

Not telling you what I put first though :hihi:

oh what a night, did the earth move for you?

"That's alright for me yeah, just give me a ring when you set off x"

Thanks for last night;can you make seven times next time we meet

Thanks for last night;can you make seven times next time we meet

Don't remember sending that:suspect::P:hihi:

Don't remember sending that:suspect::P:hihi:

You aint got my number:hihi::hihi::hihi:;)

Jenny's freind Debbie was at work complaining about a sore throat and laryngitis
"when I have that I always give my husband a b*** job and next day I'm better. you should try it"
Next day Debbie comes in singing
"how did it go?" enquires Jenny
"brilliant" says Debbie
"your husband couldnt believe it was your idea"

ratties in .........

" How you today pumpkin?"

"He's going fishing....again!"

***** bag knows about the baby

Nice one there should be some stella's in fridge for us xx

Can't come and let you in the studio, nobody's in the area, you'll have to wait till Foxy comes.

From one of my work colleagues on the Hospital Radio, I've been saying for a long time that they should give me a key to the studio, I know the code to get through the first door, but the studio was locked up and I needed to get in to get some request sheets and couldn't.

Mine says "Step away from the nutella and get to the gym"

"Blast! Are you in contact with her at least?"

"its all rather bizzare, cant get me head round it!!"

Hey Tatta. I'm in Norway. Its really quiet and a bit boring and bloody expensive...............

(goes on a bit more.......)

thanks for that. cant wait to see ya tomorrow. love you ssee you tomorrow

Sophie not going, cough is really bad, see u monday

"Masz swietna pupe. Which, btw, means: You have a perfect ass"

What romance to wake up to on a Sunday morning..... :love: :hihi:

Maybe I txt your old nmbr coz thats what is on my fone not this 1

"Did you get your memo about the farmers market"

Cant meet for a drink spent up last nite but come out on friday and i will buy u a few drinks

Mine says..... Mother!! Honestly

Good morning, did you sleep well? I did, but could have slept a lot longer instead of waking up at 6.30! Hope u have a nice day with your mum, I love you lots and lots xxx

Had my first gig as a stand up comedian last night at an old peoples home.
They didnt get any of my jokes but they still p****d themselves

Go-Kartings an hour from two til three, so ill come over after that? xxx

Have a lovely holiday xxx

What a fun aft! Sticking labels and stamps on over 1000 envolopes. oh how i value my degree :p miss you x


Finally got round to replying to my OH when I'd finished crying laughing:hihi: couldn't resist posting it, sorry dear:hihi:

"xxx got 3 day ban for chatting. How pathetic is that?"

"Alice in Wonderland"

"Oh cool. Thanks. I'll probably get on line soon but if you could register my interest that would be Ace. Thanks mate"

where are you love? and that was from a guy :o

"I can't believe you booked it! Nice one babe! WERE ALL GOING ON A SUMMER HOLIDAY.....XXXX

A man runs into a pet shop and places a bomb on the counter
he says to everyone "you all have 1 minute to get out"
A tortoise at the back shouts "you twit"

"You can bring the snorkal but the flippers stay at home. And NO you can't pluck my toe hair"

I don't know cos I have left my phone at home and I feel lost!! :(

Well I'm gonna snitch on u b*tch x

Did you have a sesh ? :o:hihi:

"She said same thing. Gonna be out of range for a while. Will be back in touch after weekend. Enjoy x"

'have you tried rebooting it'

Ive never sent a text or received one.:(

Ive never sent a text or received one.:(

really? :o

ill text u once i got my money sorted tom c u at train station

"TVL payment is now overdue.To pay £6.00 either call 08456001890 or visit your local PayPoint shop - United CoOp; Newfield Green Gleadless"






oops!

Hi you drunk git. this is my number

"You never guess who else is pregnant!"

"Jus a lil info 4 u. Jus had to fight off a naked whiteboy haha. Hes ****** out his head. Its hilarious! He thinks the bottom shelf in the cupboard is his bottom bunk an has locked himself in there with his quilt! Anyway, sleep well... Wen u get off facebook :p xx "

"how dooo, what you doing later?? Someone needs a haircut......."

'Ok yeah! Hammered!'

Silly girl.

"Hi it's Louise, this is my new num as from tmoz"

"I will keep my word unless you want 2 NZ pints. x"

Thanks for a lovely night last night:) I feel the slightest bit rough this morning :p xxxx

Chinese or manwich?

I was upset earlier and I text my OH saying why nothings ever simple, and he replied with;

"I love you, thats the simplest thing i have ever done because your amazing and make it so easy"

*gets tissues..Yes I blubbered!

this is harsh! i miss you already. your me baby x

"Had a great time. Can prob manage a beer on weds as long as we're not knackered. Will confirm later"

K darling, love u x

Love you beachbum, whatcha doing? I wanna be on holibobbles not at work!! Oh well, 6 days and counting! x x x

My last one was simply, x

Good Morning Hun, 5 DAYS TIL HOLIDAY!!! xxx

Yeah man, youll have to give directions later though. Ill bring some cat treats to butter them up with, i feel sick at that one with diahorrea sticking to all fur :s x

Vodka or wine?

Vodka or wine?

I hope you replied "Both!!" ???

went to Covent Garden

Just made it, text u on my break darling, love u loads x

Is it next week when you start work full-time?

I hope you replied "Both!!" ???

It's like you're in my head!!:o:o:hihi:

Is it next week when you start work full-time?

Congratulations :thumbsup:

Congratulations :thumbsup:

Thanks. :)

A joke about doctors comparing notes

A message from secret squirrel

20p per min for calls, 10p for texts, our new price plan: Simply. To get the benefits of simply we'll transfer you on Sept 1....blah, blah, blah :thumbsup:

I love you. xxx

"I'm off home now. How u feeling"

**** says tha does

''Clare, is Nicky Shorey married....''

:o

well I dunno what others you definately like other than babycham and black tower

may sound a bit gay. but i do like havin you back in my life bro

Hiya, what you up too? I miss you, did you have a good holiday? My house is free if you lot fancy coming for a drink, Jays already here. Miss you and love you! Hol xxx

erm, my OH telling me to have something to eat :gag:

''Yeah next week sounds good, we won't go for an extravagant meal just a drink!''

whats for t i'm starvin?

''Yes great, but how do we get there''

He he, yea u do look like him, only your better looking and your a **** x x. The response from my girlfriend when telling her at football it has been decided my nickname is now ronaldo.

dont need the dvd after all, good luck for l8r :-)

Gooooood morning, i'm checked out and soon i'll be on my way to you x x love ya baby x x

oh beastly one if hes not there by 8.00 ring (dont need to know)

Thank you for your recent photo enquiry for Extreme makeover!

We regret to inform you that we only use surgeons here, not F----ing magicians.

then...

Q what do you call a muslim stripper?

A Yaseen mamuff.

u were gr8 babe. love u long time.

Gone on msn x

I'll be able to email you details of holiday sometime this afternoon. X

"Homewrecker, all this time youve been with my wife. We even went for a pint last week." ( add a few F and C words in there)

My reply was... "lol"

'he might have it....I'm going out....'

I love you, glad it didn't hit you!xxx


I was glad too, the object in question was a red Micra on Queens Road. Imagine the shame of being killed by a Micra:hihi:

"Well let me have a word with Gary, (me cousins husband), hes a drivin instructor and might be able to do it for you. Seems pointless you doin the pass plus when you've done it all a million times before! Ill ring you at dinner anyway, love u xxx"

hey how r u? ru coming out 2nite

'Ing me non' which I guessed meant 'Ring me now'.

My mum can't text very well. :hihi:

Hoovering (don't ask)

'Embrace is lookin the favourite my lovely x'


hmph

It's ok.........

It said:

'Why?'

Hi, are you ok?

Lol yes menfolk just do what we say. Ja that sounds good! We have sleeping bags n air beds etc so that no prob! Can always purchase a cheapness tent, handy to have! X

^^^Looks like camping next weekend is on if us ladies have any say in the matter:banana::banana::banana:

making plum jam

Lol


(I'd sent a joke - had to make THIS message longer)

No erection. Eww stagecoach weekly ticket is going up to 12quid!x

Oooh lovely!

G*** G****** has been given a date for his return to the UK. She's only 8, but looks 12 with her make up on.

''Nine? That is good for me too!''

I only went in the kitchen and when i come back in he was sat in the box

***** **** local f*cking smackhead

Sorry I'll get you a harder one then.

"Have a fab weekend xx"

Love you, absolutely swamped with work today so thats why i've not really been in touch. Will ring you after work at half 6, but im not going to the gym, im installing my uncles Dishwasher for him then im nipping up to gran Mo's to clean the guttering round her house..ive got a long day ahead. Speak to u soon huni xxx

Get it bought then love x

Joke

Ah irish couple have stopped having kids now their 3rd child has been born. They have hear that every forth baby born in the world is Chinese

I have just walked in WH Smith...

You wait and see lol!

I dunno-I can't find my phone! Probably no-one will have texted me anyway:D

"Yor picture is at the top of <edited> near <edited>"

*screams uncontrollably*

no problem cressy

No words, just two photo's of my uncles funeral flowers because I was too ill to go

i'm up and at the tram stop. will be in for t, what is for t x

Im cross with you because I had a dream you got a tattoo :hihi:

Ah ok at least you will get a seat!

about 5.30pm x

I can finish at 1 but need to be back for 3pm if thats any good:)

Actions speak louder than words

Jesus! Jesus! Went o a pub crawl last night. AND then went to a going away party. Have to be at work in 2 hours and I'm thinking of calling in dead.

No she didn't x

"Ok I will pass on the massage"

Now, either she can't spell, or she's planning to tell him whilst rubbing the tension from his shoulders......

Thanking u x

I want a mega cookie!!!

Be round in 10 minutes, get the whips and tassles out! :o (Must be a wrong number)

You have been poked by "Insert name here", press "P" to poke back.


I get about 80 of these each day :D

You have been poked by "Insert name here", press "P" to poke back.


I get about 80 of these each day :D

Ya just got another 'un! :thumbsup:

Ya just got another 'un! :thumbsup:

The OH was in bed trying to have a kip on Thursday afternoon and Id put the mobile phone into the drawer under the bed and she went mental trying to find out where the noise was coming from every time someone poked me! :D

The OH was in bed trying to have a kip on Thursday afternoon and Id put the mobile phone into the drawer under the bed and she went mental trying to find out where the noise was coming from every time someone poked me! :D

Hehe, evil git!

Stop poking me back, you... you, perv.

'Good game yesterday?'

Evil person!

nothing as i never use mobiles sadly

something nice from my boy

something nice from my boy

you got a son :huh:

you got a son :huh:

Ha! No.... just my potential OH :hihi:

*pokes everyone*

U hungry fancy a subway

This is my new number.......


It would have been much better if the number was followed by a........................name :huh:

This is my new number.......


It would have been much better if the number was followed by a........................name :huh:


Ha Ha. that happened to me last week - i sent a text back that said "Thats very kind of you to let me know your new number - but who are you?"

he/she then sent one back - and said "its me - don't you recognise the number?"

:loopy::loopy::loopy:

''Sure thing!!''

I came early

hola hola c u at the fountain pub at 2.45pm

Ok, well be happy then!!

My latest text says "No idea"

will be sandon now :)

"Theres no milk, what do I do?xxx"

crap!! Thanks for reminding me I havent relied yet!! :s

"ha! ha! ha! cnt stop laf hel kno itz me! R ya luk 4ward to fri"

In english- "lol/haha i cannot stop laughing, he will know that its me! Are you looking forward to Friday?"

meh thats pretty boring text for me.

Is she free now? x

"I did not sell them"

( yes he did :()

How's it going?

What's up smell?

My says "was he nice" lol

Y wont he eat? Wish **** wunt eat n die of starvation the fat ugly nasty B******.

:shocked:

My last text reads

Hola remember cafe mambo ibiza starchaser song love will set you free

No I can't I'm wrapped up in goose feathers...

My friend is ill in bed and I told him to transfer to the settee.....

Yeah course I do, you?

see you at 9pm

''would you ask a guy out...''

Think I am going to be Deirdre for the next hour or so.

"struugling with my new ******* lover" :o

'Go get some love x'

A vicar arrives at a posh hotel..Bloke on reception says "here is your key, the room has sky tv".The vicar says "I hope the porns disabled on it". Bloke says "no its just normal porn you sick b@st@rd":hihi:

Hola we fishing later

Ha ha ha. they're right hard.

something about being banned, mods and the word "tossers"

''I know I am''.

going straight home

Inspector ;)

Daddies brown sauce.













Yes, I do have some strange friends

'you have ruined my night and outfit. haha jokin no worries I'll wander about town. cheers anyway lover'


I'm a halloween grinch...

'I love u x'

hola am rite hungry goin straight home avoiding mcdonalds and subway :gag:

"Did you really mean to stick it there ?"

ok, c u 2morrow x

''Slag. :-(''

:o

Can you post those letters on your way to school. They've got stamps on. Thanks.

Are you swimming after work this eve?

Goddamn!!You better wash up!! Make sure you shut the living room door if you do.

a joke

Dear Jonathon Ross
I have shagged your daughter, who's laughing now. Lots of love, Gary Glitter XX

going straight out after work so dont want any t x

rustle, rustle.....

Busy as hell again! Hope you ok, I miss you loads! Any thoughts about tea? Can't wait to hug you! xx

Awww:)

Has anything more been said? You must tell me.

Bl.oody hell. We knocked Chelsea out of the cup on penalties

i want money ...................... quick

It didn't say anything, it was a text with no message

of course, she's not from here is she.. has david posted pics of the new bubs yet?

We're prob not out tonight. Both feeling ill

As long as they serve booze I don't care where we go x

Your current allowance is 573.27 minutes of talk time and unlimited texts in the UK

"Sim Update" :D

"No show today, you can't go on the wards with a 'slight cough' due to risk of infection"

I wouldn't mind but this will be the third week there's been no Wednesday afternoon request show due to me being ill, that and the fact I told Nikki last week that I would be back at work today! :rant: :loopy:

joke

i went to the doctors today and asked her why when i poo does it come out like french fries. the doctor told me to hold my string vest up higher

"****** just downed a half pint of Baileys and threw up on the bar! Amazing."

not bad at all no :)

Delivered ....

Bugger that is all

Please, I'll pay for everything.

message cannot be displayed

Thats fab ! Yr very kind X

Where's the meeting with Sam, Sam? :P

Mine simply says "Yes"

Some stuff you guys needn't read but the tw'i't wrote 'owt' instead of 'out' - why?!

i wonder if that will have implications 4 other cases. anyway....i'm on holiday! see u monday ;-)

Me to all u raid x

you know far to much for one so young x