Hi, I just wondered what you all think.

I worry constantly about babybonny. I hate OH taking him anywhere without me because I worry that something might happen, for example: if they go out in the car I worry in case there's an accident. What if he gets a serious illness? I worry about the time when babybonny will want to go out and 'play' with friends (not highly likely as there's no other kids where we live), or what if he wants to have a motorbike when he's older, what if he has a car instead? I could go on and on, it's all 'what ifs'.

He still sleeps in his cot in our room (he's 15 months) and OH keeps going on about getting him in his own room, but I can't bear the thought of waking in the night and not being able to see him and know he's alright. I always check on him at least three times during the night and at other times I listen to him breathing.

I think this is all perfectly normal for a mum but OH says not.

you will worry about him till the day you die. i know i will about my lulu locket shes 3 !/2 years old. its the joy of being a parent

Hiya, there is a very fine line (in my experience) of worrying and maybe suffering abit of post natal depression. I think everyone worries about their children to the point where you can feel a little crazy but its normal. You just have to give yourself liitle goals or when they are older it will be so much harder to let go. It broke my heart when I put him in his bed and i cried and sat outside his room till all hours. However he wasn't bothered at all! And now at two and a half he doesn't like me coming in his room to get him up. I have to wait until he is completly awake and refreshed!! So independent! When we went on holiday the kids we met there would come round in a morning and see if he was playing. I still see him as a helpless 6 month old. But he's not and I realised it made him happy having abit of independednce (although I was hidden in the background watching him!)
But on a serious note I started worrying about accidents, something bad happening to him and basically screwing myself up so I was a nervous wreck. My partner made me go to the doctors and I actually had PND which I had ignored and just put it down to normal feelings of being a parent. Of course we will always worry but don't let it ruin the happiness being a parent brings. xxxx

As faloola says, we have all entered a world in which worry becomes second nature. From being preggers onward, it never stops.
I have been prey to some pretty freaky worries and also some worry 'clusters' when everything worries me. It also turns out I am in fact at least partly the neurotic mother I swore I would never be, lol.

However, when those worries start affecting your happiness and your sleep, when they start affecting your partner and others around you, when you find it hard to separate the rational from the irrational...and I'm not saying they are, only you can know that...but when they do, it is definitely worth talking to someone about it. PND is a funny old thing, it can get you in some weird ways, and it can get you well after little one is born. The good thing is, the sooner you catch it, the sooner you can get control of it. I would say if you even have cause to wonder, it's worth looking into.

But if it makes you feel any better, I'll share some of my weirdest with you. You're not alone!

**I once had to stop driving home from London because I became convinced we were going to be in a car crash and he would die - my OH had to talk me around on the phone because I refused to leave Leicester Forest.
**I had to stop going to the cafe at the Library because I was terrified he was going to fall from the banisters to the floor several storeys below - have you ever looked down from up there? but how he was going to do so from the safety of his pushchair and nowhere near any steps I do not know
**I honestly feared he was going to drown in the deep(er than him) ball pool at Playtime hen he kept disappearing in the balls, lol!! If you don't believe me, ask Zebra. When she stops laughing at me she'll be able to confirm that - and that was last month! Oh, the shame!!
**I can't bring myself to let him go stay with his Nana for a week. She is a fit, rational person who managed to keep me alive and well for 18 years, yet I just know he will drown in the pond/the river, fall out of a window, be in a car crash, get kidnapped, oh the list goes on

To some extent I have had to be very strict with myself, make specific demands on myself to let go of this that or the other, let him do this that or the other, etc. Some of my fears were down to PND. Some of them are down to being in charge of this incredible, amazing, more-precious-than-anything creature who I would be utterly, utterly devastated to lose. Sometimes it's just really hard to let go of things and I think in some cases our minds make up things to be afraid of so that we don't have to - letting him go stay with his Nana, moving a child to his own room, letting them explore a little further afield than we would like.

I don't think it can hurt to explore your fears and worries a little deeper and try to figure out why you are having them...are they rational? Are they serving some other purpose? Are they the symptom of an illness?

Last but not least - hugs to you xxx

Thanks all. I think the strength of this feeling of 'protectiveness' is quite scary. And I know a lot of my worries are totally irrational - he's only 15 months, what's the point of worrying about things that may happen in 16/17 years ! :rolleyes:

Other worries are perfectly normal and rational. We don't live in a sterile environment or anything like that (I don't have the time or the energy for a start!) and I love to see him rolling around on the lawn in the garden and tackling new things like climbing. So I guess I don't think i'm holding him back at all, quite the opposite.

Anyway I can let OH read this now and maybe he'll chill and let me get on with worrying :D

I really feel for you, and you are not going mad.

I lived in Nottingham when my boy was a baby, I darn't walk into town on Mansfield rd I was sure a bus was going to hit the pavement and kill him.

We went on holiday I nearly had a panic attack walking along a canal path, I thought the pushchair might suddenly fly out of control or i would faint and he would end up in the water.

If anyone picked him up as a baby i was sure they would drop him so tried to avoid it!

I remember putting a cat net over his pushchair when he was asleep in it in the garden (I was sure a bird was going to swoop down and attack him)

When he moved to his own room, i was convinced burglars would climb in the window at night and steel him (3rd floor of 3 story house)

I still have visions of him falling off the side of climbing frames onto his head when we are out at the park or a dog biting him in the face (he is 4 now)

Welcome to the crazy world of being a parent you are not mad.:)

**I honestly feared he was going to drown in the deep(er than him) ball pool at Playtime hen he kept disappearing in the balls, lol!! If you don't believe me, ask Zebra. When she stops laughing at me she'll be able to confirm that - and that was last month! Oh, the shame!!


I can confirm that Cosy did indeed fret about cosycub drowning in the balls and I did indeed chuckle somewhat, however, I see her as a very competent woman who loves her son to tiny pieces, all normal stuff IMO.
One of my twins was freaked by Daddy disappearing into the depth of the ball pool but enormously amused by the fact that he leapt out with a roar every few minutes. I think she was more worried about being stranded in the middle of the ocean of plastic rather than if her Daddy would come back though ;)

I also went through the phases of 'no one should take them out except me, I must be with them at all times to keep them safe' but I worked out that it's just about trust.
I remember getting myself and a boyfriend lost in the car, I wasn't map reading properly because I was looking at the road, convinced that if I didn't keep my eyes on the road we would crash - it was because I had never gone in his car with him driving and I was scared to trust him. It all worked out.
Same happens as parents, we have to learn to trust others with our most precious priveliges. It takes time.
I didn't want to put the girls in their own roo, I procrastinated but eventually did it and it was better for us as a result, I got more sleep, I was able to read in bed and the girls sleep better in their own room.
There could be advantages to taking certain steps.

I think you're perfectly normal to worry, and your boy is perfectly normal to grow and develop! It's always a tough call being a parent - our job is to assist our children to turn into healthy, competent adults. If you didn't love him so much, he couldn't grow into the well-rounded person that he will be. Each step on his way means that you have to let go a little bit more.

Go for it! Keep caring, but keep admiring and respecting each little bit of progress that he is able to make, thanks to your love and support.

:)