i just been reading on the net that all most 99.9% of people regret hurting or never saying sorry to people they've hurt i thought it would have been like 100 percent really but whatever and it started me thinking how many of us regret things we've done things we've said and done to people who mean alot to us and how many of us never say sorry and let arguments go on and on and i was thinking how many people out there are feeling that right now alot i can tell u that including me i have hurt people and have done and said things i know i shouldnt have things im certainly not proud of things i know i can never ever put right or truly be forgiven for things i would go back in time and change if i could but i suppose payback comes to everyone as im getting mine now i just think its sad that so many people go through life wishing they had said sorry to someone or had made amends for there actions just thought it was sommat to think about cos i know it got me thinking any 1 out there going through or gone through the same?

I regret you never learning to use full stops and paragraphs. I fell asleep half way through that.

Break it up!!

I think most people through life go through that Kirsty at one time or another, mine would have been 3 years ago but you can't turn back time. You just have to try and learn by your mistakes.:(

Its easy to say sorry but somethings are best left alone and forgotten about.

but saying sorry as to be the best way because people cant go thrugh life forver never ever saying sorry

Originally posted by lemonkirdy
but saying sorry as to be the best way because people cant go thrugh life forver never ever saying sorry

Wanna Bet ;)

The only regrets I have is not saying something to people I should have.. Better off the chest eh :suspect:

Everyone makes mistakes that they wish they hadn't

Human nature, but what's also human nature is a surprisingly short memory about these things.

Someone can hurt someone so bad that saying sorry means nothing anymore to them. I regret not punching someone once..so wished i had...:D but glad i didn't in the end this person wasn't worth being locked up for.

Never regret anything. Come on, people really do deserve what they get. If you are stupid enough to fall for someone's act, then don't act like a victim when it goes wrong, because they will just be laughing.

You only have one life, make it what you want, don't be a victim. It's all just a game, learn the rules.

Someone can hurt someone so bad that saying sorry means nothing anymore to them. I regret not punching someone once..

Maybe the problem was that you didn't feel that the person who hurt you really appreciated how you felt about it ?

It's hard enough when someone does something to hurt you & then regrets it but it's much harder to get your head around if they refuse to accept how much they've hurt you.

Harder still is when they deny it ever happened. It's amazing how much it can mean to someone just to acknowledge that you hurt them.

i just think its sad that so many people go through life wishing they had said sorry to someone or had made amends for there actions

I suppose it depends on the circumstances as to whether you can really make ammends but if you've not apologised I think it makes it harder for the person you've hurt to deal with their own feelings.

If you have apologised (& meant it) & they still hold onto their anger then there's nothing you can do to.

Ultimately though, I think, to hold onto feelings of anger & resentment only does you harm. That doesn't mean to say you have to keep going back for more mind :)

Originally posted by Siân
Maybe the problem was that you didn't feel that the person who hurt you really appreciated how you felt about it ?

It's hard enough when someone does something to hurt you & then regrets it but it's much harder to get your head around if they refuse to accept how much they've hurt you.

Harder still is when they deny it ever happened. It's amazing how much it can mean to someone just to acknowledge that you hurt them.



I suppose it depends on the circumstances as to whether you can really make ammends but if you've not apologised I think it makes it harder for the person you've hurt to deal with their own feelings.

If you have apologised (& meant it) & they still hold onto their anger then there's nothing you can do to.

Ultimately though, I think, to hold onto feelings of anger & resentment only does you harm. That doesn't mean to say you have to keep going back for more mind :) It's hard enough when someone does something to hurt you & then regrets it but it's much harder to get your head around if they refuse to accept how much they've hurt you.

Harder still is when they deny it ever happened. It's amazing how much it can mean to someone just to acknowledge that you hurt them. :o wow thats spot on how i feel...i think it would take more then sorry thou for me to forgive this person

Originally posted by Jon
It's hard enough when someone does something to hurt you & then regrets it but it's much harder to get your head around if they refuse to accept how much they've hurt you.

Harder still is when they deny it ever happened. It's amazing how much it can mean to someone just to acknowledge that you hurt them. :o wow thats spot on how i feel...i think it would take more then sorry thou for me to forgive this person

nah, forgiving is dead easy, I doubt there are many situations we cannot forgive... it's the forgetting that always gets in the way.

Just let it go, life if too short. Stop worrying and believe that everything happens for a reason if it helps you get through things. If you don't know what to do, do nothing, and more answers will be revealed.

Originally posted by Deejay
Wanna Bet ;)

The only regrets I have is not saying something to people I should have.. Better off the chest eh :suspect:

Thats so true... I was once told... Never regret the things you have done... only regret the things you havent...

I am finding this so true... life is to short for regret...

Always say & do what you feel is right... before its too late...

That would be my advice to all...

Originally posted by Angel05
Thats so true... I was once told... Never regret the things you have done... only regret the things you havent...

I am finding this so true... life is to short for regret...

Always say & do what you feel is right... before its too late...

That would be my advice to all...

But there are some things that are best not to be said at all, the ones where you know it will only cause more misery :suspect: (or is that just me ?)

Ther realy is no point in dwelling on past mistakes, you can't go back and change them, it's best to just learn what you can and move on, otherwise the past can bugger-up your future.

Originally posted by Jon
It's hard enough when someone does something to hurt you & then regrets it but it's much harder to get your head around if they refuse to accept how much they've hurt you.

Harder still is when they deny it ever happened. It's amazing how much it can mean to someone just to acknowledge that you hurt them. :o wow thats spot on how i feel...i think it would take more then sorry thou for me to forgive this person

I got very hurt an let down once... all i wanted from that person was an apology... nothing more mattered to me... i didnt want explainations as to why when or how etc... just hearing that word 'Sorry' it ment so much... I really saw the hurt in that person's eye's... I knew their apology was sincerely ment...

Thats when an apology really counts... when you can actually see it's truly ment... thats when you know its come from deep wtihin a person...

Originally posted by nick2
Ther realy is no point in dwelling on past mistakes, you can't go back and change them, it's best to just learn what you can and move on, otherwise the past can bugger-up your future.

This is how we learn right from wrong... Mistakes are there to be made... we wouldnt learn otherwise...

You think of people that have told us of their past experiences (friends family ex's etc...) we all learn from one another's mistakes as life moves on...

Feeling in deep mode today :suspect:

i think it would take more then sorry thou for me to forgive this person

I think it's a misconception that forgiving someone is something you do for them. It may help them a bit but if they are truly sorry then they have to live with the memory of the hurt they have caused.

When we forgive someone we help ourselves.

I don't know what happened to you or how long ago but I'd guess you wouldn't want this person to have the power of continued influence in your life.

To acknowledge & then let go of the hurt that they caused you in no way trivialises or denies what actually happened to you.

To err is to be human, to fogive divine, to really screw up requires a computer...:)

Seriously, I nowadays try and live by the old saw 'Never let the sun go down on an argument' when dealing with people close to me.

My father died when we were not on good terms; why or what I have no idea, but we just drifted apart and never got back together. I never got the chance to bury the hatchet. It's not worth it.

If you can forgive, then do so. If you can't, then at least see if you can 'agree to disagree'. But whatever, don't keep the whole thing going as a feud. You'll waste your energy - if you want to get your own back then be happy, be wealthy, succeed and let that be your revenge! :)

By hanging on to an old wound you let an external force control your life. Don't give that control over. Acknowledge that a hurt was done to you and move on. And if you're the one believed to be in the wrong - seriously consider apologising rather than carrying the crap.



Joe

Originally posted by lemonkirdy
but saying sorry as to be the best way because people cant go thrugh life forver never ever saying sorry

we can try :hihi:

Originally posted by JoePritchard
To err is to be human, to fogive divine, to really screw up requires a computer...:)

Seriously, I nowadays try and live by the old saw 'Never let the sun go down on an argument' when dealing with people close to me.

Joe

I too am very much like that... I cant go to sleep on an argument just incase (god forbid) the worst should happen....

The best way to prevent this guilt is not to say or do nasty things in the first place. In today's "ME" generation, it is all too easy to lash out at people. Someone bumps you with his or her cart while in the check out lane, do you:

A. Lash out? (They DID invade your space and your ego)
B. Give them an Evil glare?
C. Turn around and ask them to do it again because you like such things?
D. Smile at them (Smile, they never know what you are thinking!)

If you leave your ego at the door in the morning you will be surprised at how pleasant your day can be. :D

Originally posted by nick2
Ther realy is no point in dwelling on past mistakes, you can't go back and change them, it's best to just learn what you can and move on, otherwise the past can bugger-up your future.

I agree, you cannot live your life on "Might-have-beens" and "what-if"s.

what if my firstboyfriend hadn't been a violent gambling-addict, who knocked me about, and abused me?

what if I had'n't moved out of my parents home when I did?

What if my mother hadn't had the brain haemmorhage that caused her to die ?

what might-have-been, if she was still with us?

what might-have-been if I had not disowned my sister, for her lying, thieveing, and trouble-causing?

what might have been, had I not become disabled?

every decision we make is a sort of fork in the road:- we have to make the choice, are we going to take "this" decision, and "this" fork in the troad, or "that" decision, to go down "that" fork in the road.

whatever we do, whe have to suck up, and deal with it.

We only have one shot at life, and the only thing we can do, is, make the best decision we can, with the best information we have, and make that choice.

and whichever thing we decide, we have to live with it,

(no, I don't mean that , for example, mrs L has married a man who turns out to be violent toward her, and that she must stay with him, that's not what i mean. she should get away asap!

what I mean is that we, ourselves, choose where to live, what college courses to take, what job to apply for, etc. and we have to work out, to the best of our ability, what the consequences of that decision are.)

we can't live our lives on "what-ifs"

PT