i know we have tonnes of parents/guardians on here and i want to ask ur honest opinions.
1.) what are the best bits of having children?
2.) what are the scary bits?
3.) what are the worst bits?

i know its not all rosey and the good weighs out the yukky bits, but gimme some specifics...tears of joy, shock, laughter...

Do you want me to get my mum to answer this for you nat?

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
i know we have tonnes of parents/guardians on here and i want to ask ur honest opinions.
1.) what are the best bits of having children?
2.) what are the scary bits?
3.) what are the worst bits?

i know its not all rosey and the good weighs out the yukky bits, but gimme some specifics...tears of joy, shock, laughter...

1.) They are like an itch you can't scratch, always there, yet wanting their own space, and seeing them grow into an independent person with a life and friends of their own.

2.) The constant worry when they are not in sight,worrying that they are safe.

3.) The constant whine that they make when wanting yet another "loan"..........and that damned noise they call music.

Overall I love them dearly and would be lost without them.

I have a 14 year old son who is wonderful. I am very, very lucky.

He's loving, kind, loyal, a friend, company, funny, moody sometimes. You worry about them constantly - are they ok, have they been run over, mugged. Until you are a parent you can never know this stuff. I worry about the girls who will break his heart the jobs he doesn't get, the big ugly wide world that he will have to face sooner or later.

Okay, mine are still only fairly small, but

The best bits - seeing them do things for the first time (crawl, walk, say a word, write their name, the amount of funny things they do, the way they find the smallest thing a complete joy. Watching them whilst they are asleep - there is nothing more beautiful, serene or innocent than a child fast asleep - it makes your heart swell looking at them.

The scary bits - the first time they're really ill, when they won't stop vomiting even though they're not eating or drinking. The first time they go off to school (weird feeling of happiness/sadness) but very VERY scary.

The worst bits - sleepless nights, colic (endless screaming - feeling completely helpless to stop their pain).

I'm sure there are plenty of other things, but off the top of my head these are the things that come to mind!

I can't bare the thought of having a daughter.. Way too much hassle and I'm way over-protective!

If I have a son, I'll be over the moon as there isn't as much to worry about! My daughter having a boyfriend would go down as well as a turd in a trifle.. My son having a girlfriend would get a pat on the back.

:)

my friend has her kid in one of those nursery wehere they encourage sign lang. (dont have to be deaf) and it works wonders 4the kids that dont speak properly yet - maybe adults could do with it
so, it seems ur life changes 4 the better, even though u dont think it at some times.
Are children better with two parents or single parents?

When you see that beautiful baby in the pram you little realise that the feeling of love /responsibility/ fear for them, will be with you forever.
No matter that they grow to be adult and can take care of themslves better than you can, they are still your childrenand the feeling of protection never goes
At least that's how i feel

Hazel

My boy is 17 months old.

The best bits for me are seeing them do new things, watching a wonderful little personality developing constantly. Also the laughter that comes from watching their funny little ways. Watching him gain independence and confidence from doing things with him, like baby signing, and our toddler group, and from him going to nursery (which was soooo hard the first day, thankfully I didnt cry!).

The worst bits are definitely the sleepless nights and when they are ill, and you would do anything to take the pain away if only they could tell you where it was.

The scariest part for me is when I think about the future, and realise it is mainly down to me to instill morals and values to take him through life. The responsibility of being a mother still scares the living daylights out of me, quite frankly.

My pregnancy was unplanned, but there was never any doubt in my mind that I would keep him. I have absolutely no regrets in having him quite young (I was 23) and my beautiful boy is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I feel that was the moment I really became an adult, when he was placed in my arms for the first time. Nothing in the world can prepare you for that moment.

I have been a single parent since my son was 8 months old, although his dad and his family are a major part of his life (dad and grandma look after him while I go to work). Being a single mum is hard work, but by far the most rewarding job i've ever had. I wouldn't cope without my family though, I get so much support from them it is unreal. I'm not sure that it will really affect my son as he grows up, that his dad doesn't live with us, as he has so much contact with him on a daily basis, but only time will tell.

Kate x

Let's see,

My girl will be 17 at the end of April, and my boy just turned 12 New Year's Day.

I'm sure the other parents will agree that it's both the best, most rewarding, but also the hardest, scariest, job in the world.

Probably easiest when they're babies/toddlers. Physically demanding, oh yes! Sleep deprivation was my middle name! Running after these little people ALL DAY LONG (and sometimes half the night, as well) feeding, bathing, dressing them, making sure they nap, feeling guilty if you go out to work, feeling as if your brain is turning to Jello if you stay home. Seeing them blossom from an inarticulate, helpless infant, to this little person who walks and talks and thinks on their own. (and in my boy's case, evolves into a one man demolition team!)

But during these years, they do what you say. You're the boss.

Teen years? Do you remember what it was like? I do, and I try to cut my girl some slack. It's hard, you worry all the time. Who they're with, about their friends, dating, school, driving, drugs/alcohol etc. Now is the time you'll see if they listened to you at all.

Mostly, being a parent consumes you. It takes over your life and totally redefines you. You are no longer just yourself, with your own attitudes and interests. You are now and forever someone's Mom/Dad.

Having a baby means that from now on, someone else comes first. It doesn't matter if you are sick, tired, broke, or out of sorts. They are depending on you.

If it's available, rent "Parenthood". It's about 15 years old, starring Steve Martin, directed by Ron Howard. Funny movie, but so very true!

I love my children more than anything. All I can hope for, is that I do right by them, and they grow into healthy, happy, productive adults.



:) Sierra

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
i know we have tonnes of parents/guardians on here and i want to ask ur honest opinions.
1.) what are the best bits of having children?
2.) what are the scary bits?
3.) what are the worst bits?
i know its not all rosey and the good weighs out the yukky bits, but gimme some specifics...tears of joy, shock, laughter...

The scaryest bit was the day we got him home from SCBU where he'd lived for the first 2 weeks of his premature life.
We propped him on the settee & stood back as though he was a ticking bomb. Then we both cried beacause we didn't know what else to do. He didn't come with a manual or printed instructions.
The shock & denial when, at age 1 when the health visitor coldly & matter-of-factly announces she thinks he may be mentally disabled because he had developmental delays.
The worst bit then after weeks (stretching into months) of visits to a Paediatric Assesment Unit being told "yes, we can label him Autistic".
Our perfect little pickle, our only child.

The best bits & the Joys? 11 years on?
Every day.
Every single day.
Helping him learn things. Watching the happiness on his face for getting praise for his acheivements.
Letting him have controll of the remote controll. Being woken by him in a morning before he goes off to school. Watching the clock 'till he returns hoping no one's teased him. Mending broken toys. The school nativity. The build up to Christmas. Finding him between you in bed on Christmas morning.
Finding a plastic pooh under your quilt after a night shift.
Building the biggest sandcastle on the beach with him.
Hearing his helpless laughter at cartoons. Holding him & smelling him after a really crappy 14 hour shift at work.
Being told you are his best friend. And knowing in your heart he means it.

Filling-up like a wuss while writing this stuff!!!:blush: :roll:

Originally posted by Don_Kiddick
The scaryest bit was the day we got him home from SCBU where he'd lived for the first 2 weeks of his premature life.
We propped him on the settee & stood back as though he was a ticking bomb. Then we both cried beacause we didn't know what else to do. He didn't come with a manual or printed instructions.
The shock & denial when, at age 1 when the health visitor coldly & matter-of-factly announces she thinks he may be mentally disabled because he had developmental delays.
The worst bit then after weeks (stretching into months) of visits to a Paediatric Assesment Unit being told "yes, we can label him Autistic".
Our perfect little pickle, our only child.

The best bits & the Joys? 11 years on?
Every day.
Every single day.
Helping him learn things. Watching the happiness on his face for getting praise for his acheivements.
Letting him have controll of the remote controll. Being woken by him in a morning before he goes off to school. Watching the clock 'till he returns hoping no one's teased him. Mending broken toys. The school nativity. The build up to Christmas. Finding him between you in bed on Christmas morning.
Finding a plastic pooh under your quilt after a night shift.
Building the biggest sandcastle on the beach with him.
Hearing his helpless laughter at cartoons. Holding him & smelling him after a really crappy 14 hour shift at work.
Being told you are his best friend. And knowing in your heart he means it.

Filling-up like a wuss while writing this stuff!!!:blush: :roll:
I guess i'm a wuss too... so beautifully worded...

Its amazing how children can have such a great effect on ones life...

I dont have any of my own as yet... but one day i hope to be a proud Mother... Experiencing that moment of holding 'My baby' for the first time in my arms... looking at their little wrinkled face fingers & toes...

Such a delight... I cant wait for that day to arrive...

Originally posted by Don_Kiddick
Our perfect little pickle, our only child.

The best bits & the Joys? 11 years on?
Every day.
Every single day.
Helping him learn things. Watching the happiness on his face for getting praise for his acheivements.

Being told you are his best friend. And knowing in your heart he means it.

Filling-up like a wuss while writing this stuff!!!:blush: :roll:
think my heart has just melted:)

I can see myself years from now, looking on at my partner holding the baby with a tear in her eye and thinking to myself

'Who's the father ? ' :suspect:

There are good and bad bits believe me!!

Bad .......

Having a 2 year old who didn't sleep for more than half an hour a day for a whole year! Even after being given sedative medicine from a sleep specialist, he still only slept for 3 hours and the meds never worked after that!

Sitting crying in the hospital after having to help nurses hold down my 3 year old daughter to give her a general aneasthetic so she could have her tonsils and adenoids removed. Sitting scared to death, worrying if she would wake up again.

Being terrified when my daughter had an asthma attack at the same time as having croup and couldn't breathe.

Finally being told that my son has learning disabilites and Tourtettes Syndrome, OCD etc at the age of 7. Wondering how it will affect his future, how people will react to him, how he will cope with it. Coping on a day to day basis with his behaviour and other peoples reaction to it. Wanting to scream at people that he can't help the loud squeeking noises and the twitching and the flapping about.

The good stuff ...........

The first time they said "I love you mummy"
The first smile and giggle.
The first time they write their own name and show it you really proudly.
Being able to act like a kid again yourself and play silly kids games!
Being so proud when my daughter was awarded Best in her school year for German!
Laughing at the silly things they say and the words they get wrong!
Cuddles and making up stories in bed on a saturday morning.
Blowing 'raspberries' on a chubby little belly!!
Walking down the street and feeling my hand being squeezed a certain number of times and knowing its his secret signal for "I love you" that only we understand.

Even though being a single mum is really hard work, I wouldn't change it or them for the world. I do worry about my kids future, particularly my son. All I want is for them both to be happy in what they do, achieve what they can and turn out to be decent, considerate adults.

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
my friend has her kid in one of those nursery wehere they encourage sign lang. (dont have to be deaf) and it works wonders 4the kids that dont speak properly yet - maybe adults could do with it
so, it seems ur life changes 4 the better, even though u dont think it at some times.
Are children better with two parents or single parents?

Baby signing works wonders!! I did this with my two and it significantly reduces the amount of tears and tantrums as they can communicate with you from a very young age. What tends to happen (which strangers can find a bit odd) is that when they learn to talk the signing habit takes a while to dissapear so they sign as they talk.

If you want to borrow some books about it Natt nearer the time I have a few (as well as many other books).

The worst part about being a parent is the amount you worry (all the time) and how sensitised you become to things that never bothered you before.

The rest of it are the best parts.

My long term view is that parenting is something you have to work at 24/7. Try hard to remember what you most disliked about your own childhood and do your best to protect your children from that; and lavish on them the things you liked most...being careful to avoid over-indulgence.

Essentially it's 95% TLC and perhaps only 5% discipline...if you're lucky. Self-discipline is the hardest thing to instill in a child and is a standard that can only be set by example, - so if you're a chocaholic keep the stuff out of sight and resist temptation until the kids are in bed.

Peer-pressure is possibly the hardest thing to cope with, it's best to let your kids believe you're poverty stricken from the outset - even if you're not, so that occasionally giving way to it is all the more satisfying for all concerned. :D

Originally posted by FetishFairy
There are good and bad bits believe me!!
Even though being a single mum is really hard work, I wouldn't change it or them for the world. I do worry about my kids future, particularly my son. All I want is for them both to be happy in what they do, achieve what they can and turn out to be decent, considerate adults.
you need a medal xx
Bonny - that would be cool
maybe i should treat my hub sign lang, may stop some of our tantrums too.
My mum was talking baout swaddling the other day and how she used it on all us four an dit worked

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
you need a medal xx
Bonny - that would be cool
maybe i should treat my hub sign lang, may stop some of our tantrums too.
My mum was talking baout swaddling the other day and how she used it on all us four an dit worked
Swaddling does work a treat too.

A baby has been inside you for so long with the pressure and noises of fluid around it. So when it is born it must feel a bit like falling all the time (too much free space) they like the feeling of being wrapped tightly, it comforts them. Also "white noise" like the vaccum, hairdryer etc. (bit like swishing noises of the womb) stops them from crying.

I did swaddling with both my two and it really does work. Wrapped up nice and tight and secure, they sleep like a top!! it seems to calm a fractious baby and like Bonny says, the white noise. I used to make 'shhhhhhhh' noises and coupled with stroking their foreheads, always seemed to calm them down.

What is swaddling?

As Bonny said, swaddling is wrapping a (usually) newborn baby snugly in a blanket.

NOT too tight. But more snugly than you or I would like to be wrapped in a blanket.

http://www.greatbabyproducts.com/kiddoswaddleivory.htm

I had one of these for my boy, and he loved it. I swaddled both of my children, and it really helped them to sleep. And if they weren't sleeping, they would just lie there quietly, looking around.

Native american people were (are) big on swaddling even older infants. In fact, it's extremely rare to see an native american baby throwing a tantrum or screaming/crying in public. They're usually very calm and quiet.

:) Sierra

I also did baby signing with mine and can highly recommend it. They do classes up Ecclesall, and the woman who does it is lovely.

I never did it regularly enough for my son to pick up more than the sign for milk, which I regret now, I really wish I had made more effort.

There is sooo much you can do with babies, baby massage, baby gymnastics, baby yoga, baby swimming etc. I loved doing stuff as it got me out of the house, and also helped me to meet new mums.

Kate x