I have been bothered by some Jehovah's witnesses lately who have tried to gain access to my home and make me take cognisance of their 'WatchTower' magazine. I always dismiss these people out of hand, as I think that their 'religion' is completely mad (apparently heaven is already full, and they don't approve of giving birthday or Christmas presents).

I know of people who have been totally f****d up by being brought up as JW's, and think that the whole thing stinks...

Originally posted by msmouse
I have been bothered by some Jehovah's witnesses lately who have tried to gain access to my home and make me take cognisance of their 'WatchTower' magazine. I always dismiss these people out of hand, as I think that their 'religion' is completely mad (apparently heaven is already full, and they don't approve of giving birthday or Christmas presents).

I know of people who have been totally f****d up by being brought up as JW's, and think that the whole thing stinks...

when i had my shop i got a childminder for my 4 year old son..she was a JW...then, our shop was promoted in the sheffield star and this childminder saw it (the shop was pagan/occult supplies) she said she didnt want to look after my son no morecos i is a witch...well...it got BACK in the papers...she wasnt available for comment...so one way to rid yourself of the jovos is wear a pentacle!
witch!

Originally posted by msmouse
I know of people who have been totally f****d up by being brought up as JW's, and think that the whole thing stinks...

i know people who have been totally ****ed up by being brought up by 'normal' parents.
Telling your kids that a giant, flying fat man turns up once a year with gifts, one would suppose, has its draw back too. In particular, when you have to tell then that its all been a massive lie. Listen to their ideas they are no weirder than yours or other peoples.
Peace to everyone thats what I say!:)

Three ways to be rid of the Jovo's (1) Tell them your a practicing Roman Catholic (2) Tell them you are a blood donor, and if they have a kid with em ignore the grown ups and tell the kid they will let you die if you need blood, they soon go. (3) and by far the easiest and quickest and the most satisfying is the good old **** off, then slam the door in their faces, it never fails :clap:

I don't mind people practicing any religion, however I object to them trying to brainwash people into joining their cult.

They get the same treatment as double glazing salesmen and gas salesmen. A polite "No thank you" and the door is closed.

Originally posted by miniminch
.
Telling your kids that a giant, flying fat man turns up once a year with gifts, one would suppose, has its draw back too. In particular, when you have to tell then that its all been a massive lie.

Haven't you ever heard of make-belief? It's what children do, they live in a world of fantasy which they create themselves. It's quite normal and part of their natural development.

So what is so wrong taking part in that little mystical, fantastic world that only children can inhabit. Children soon grow up so don't deny them their childhood world which contains among other things Santa, the tooth fairy and the bogey man.

One could adopt the technique advocated by Jasper Carrott- let them in, sneak out the back, ring the police and tell them your house is being robbed...:)

On a more serious note I've had doorstep debates with JWs because I feel strong enough in my own faith to engage in discussion. Also, if I'm having fun with them for 30 minutes I'm ensuring they don't have that time to spend on others...;)

Happy New Year, peeps!

Joe

Originally posted by JoePritchard
. Also, if I'm having fun with them for 30 minutes I'm ensuring they don't have that time to spend on others...;)

Joe

I apply the same principle to the Labour Party on my doorstep at election time. :clap:

i just quote a part of the bible that says"God created adam and eve,they had two sons,caine and abelcaine killed abel with the jawbone of an ass,he was banished to the land of nod,a land far away where he took himself a wife" where did she come from?.they usually leave muttering to themselves......

My favourite (lighthearted) response is Lily Savage's one...

You need:-

A shaved whippet, wearing a set of goat-likehorns.

A small child (preferably naked)

Add some "ceremonial looking robes (A black silk dressing gown will do if you are unable to lay your hands on the robes)

METHOD:-

When they ring the bell, answer the door, wearing said robes...

Greet them with a suitably Norma Shearer-esque

"Yeeeessssssssss?" (with a flourish)

Pre-arrange with the child to come out into your hallway, with the dog, as you open the door.

Then "scream" at the child

"What have I TOLD you???!!!! GET BACK ON THAT ALTAR, THIS MINUTE!!"

According to Lily Savage, it works!

;)

P (trouble is, you'd probably get child protection services calling, too!) T

Originally posted by depoix
i just quote a part of the bible that says"God created adam and eve,they had two sons,caine and abelcaine killed abel with the jawbone of an ass,he was banished to the land of nod,a land far away where he took himself a wife" where did she come from?.they usually leave muttering to themselves......

If God created two, why couldn't he just create more? If the basic premise that God made the first two is accepted as truth, then the prospect of there being further creations is not out of the question. I guess detailing the lives of all of them would have been a little... dull ;-)

Anyway, back on topic, I have invited JWs in, although to be honest it was just to find out what the hell they were on. Nothing, it seems. Damn.

Originally posted by spiffymonkey
If God created two, why couldn't he just create more? If the basic premise that God made the first two is accepted as truth, then the prospect of there being further creations is not out of the question. I guess detailing the lives of all of them would have been a little... dull ;-)


Theres a helluva lot of begatting in Genesis (no not phil collins! :rolleyes: ) and youre right...its extremely dull - but im sure if it was supposed to make sense, they could have put in an extra verse "oh...and then he created a buncha other chicks and blokes", or something.

I keep the JWs on the far side of the moat!

Originally posted by Andy
I don't mind people practicing any religion, however I object to them trying to brainwash people into joining their cult.

They get the same treatment as double glazing salesmen and gas salesmen. A polite "No thank you" and the door is closed.

I agree with Andy on this one. I am not a religious person but everone to their own. What I don't want is someone knocking on my door at 10.30 on a Sunday morning to persuade me otherwise. The answer is don't open the door to them and if you do by mistake just say 'no thank you' and close the door immediately.

I quite like Billy Connolly's method of getting rid of Jovies.

Don't open the door, just go up to the door and shout through,

"Hello, are you Jehovah's Witness's?", and when they shout,

"Yes.", you then say,

"Ok, I'll be opening the door in five seconds. I'm naked, I have an erection, the choice is yours. Fiiiiiiiive, foooooooour, threeeeeeee, twooooooo, ooooooone!"

They'll be specks in the distance when you open the door. ;) :D :lol:

Originally posted by Plain Talker
My favourite (lighthearted) response is Lily Savage's one...

When they ring the bell, answer the door, wearing said robes...
Greet them with a suitably Norma Shearer-esque
"Yeeeessssssssss?" (with a flourish)
Pre-arrange with the child to come out into your hallway, with the dog, as you open the door.
Then "scream" at the child
"What have I TOLD you???!!!! GET BACK ON THAT ALTAR, THIS MINUTE!!"
According to Lily Savage, it works!;)
P (trouble is, you'd probably get child protection services calling, too!) T

Once tried something very similar to this whilst at a friends house, when they rang, we grabbed a headless chicken from the kitchen which his mom had left there and a kitchen knife. Opening the door I told them I'd see them in a sec after the sacrifice.

Went back 2 mins later - no-one there!:thumbsup:

Originally posted by Lestat
Once tried something very similar to this whilst at a friends house, when they rang, we grabbed a headless chicken from the kitchen which his mom had left there and a kitchen knife. Opening the door I told them I'd see them in a sec after the sacrifice.

Went back 2 mins later - no-one there!:thumbsup:

That's a fowl thing to do :suspect:

Originally posted by owdlad
That's a fowl thing to do :suspect:

Owdy, you really are getting EGGstremely bad now! I thought it was quite a good yolk to play?

Originally posted by Mo
Haven't you ever heard of make-belief? It's what children do, they live in a world of fantasy which they create themselves. It's quite normal and part of their natural development.

So what is so wrong taking part in that little mystical, fantastic world that only children can inhabit. Children soon grow up so don't deny them their childhood world which contains among other things Santa, the tooth fairy and the bogey man.

Hang on a MO! my point was that there are more ridiculous things people believe in than someones religion.
I have nothing against santa, JW, muslims, Jews or anyone for that matter. I may be able to see that their religion can be seen to be ****ed up, as all belief systems can. But instead of dismissing someone on what I think - I'm willing to listening to anyone. My own personal philosophy is 'what ever floats your boat' T020!
I even have time for those damm anoying buddists out side boots - thinking they're 'trendy' by refering to their CD, they are trying to flog, as 'Monk Rock'. *****!

Here is something I wrote a couple of years ago after reading a book about religious cults

Getting Shut Of Unwanted Callers
-The Jehovas Witness

If you are constantly badgered at your door by those tedious pessimist jovos, and your too polite to shout profanities at them and slam your door in their annoying miserable faces, like I do, and are constantly given watchtower leaflets, with pictures of dodgy suited americans looking like pimps without hats, then read this for some useful information.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Jehova's witnesses are an american religious cult with some very silly ideas. They made predictions about the end of the world since their inception, and believed passionately in certain dates for this coming disasterous event.
The reason as to why they're silly is that, when (as usual) the end of the world doesn't actually come (again), they still keep their faith in the cult, despite it having lied to them, making them look very foolish again. These must be some of the most gullable people on the planet.

Some notable dates for the end of the world and begginning of armageddon are as follows :- 1874, 1st Oct 1914, 1975 and 1999

after all these many let downs, it beggars belief that there are still followers of the cult.

They passionately shun Christmas, and are not allowed to exchange presents on christmas day. This in Britain in this day and age is possibly cruel to children who mix with average children in their peer group. But they still believe in the second coming of christ...
One Of their most famous fetishes is for shunning any kind of transfusion, transplant or medical implant. Talk about Darwin Awards!

Despite the fact that there are several million Jovos worldwide, but mainly in America, they believe that only 144,000 of them can have their souls saved. Rediculous!

Greetings For Jovos.
1) What you doin here, I thought the world had ended in 1999? whats up 144,001 ? have they given you your money back
2) Where's Jesus then, it's 2001 now, Still not shown up and your still in the cult, bit gullable aren't you?
3) I'm sorry I am just out to do some early christmas shopping.
4) I'd like to bet you have a mortgage and insurance, what use is that if the world is just about to end. You haven't thought about that have you.

Bit concerned about the yes voters - you are exposing yourself to people who believe that the evils of the world are brought about by mankind - this would thus make the Tsunami disaster our fault, which seems a bit unfair, given that it's all down to plate tectonics.

I personally think that JW's are evilness personified and should not be entertained.

met a few JW in my life and they have all been really nice, not the classic door bangers. Ive answered the door when really poorly and they have said they will pray for me even though i dont take their religion - i think its sweet. They are only doing as they believe and i dont see it harming anyone - like many religions do. i work with an ex minister and find it fanscinating how different people see God and Jesus. One of us has gota be right?!

Ihave known a great deal of harm done by J V' to their own people who have left their faith.
Not only do they lose their belief but they also lose their friends and their community. They are not allowed to speak to people they have spent their lives with.
Perhaps they are afraid it will be catching
Hazel

Some notable dates for the end of the world and begginning of armageddon are as follows :- 1874, 1st Oct 1914, 1975 and 1999


When I was growing up in hillsborough in the 1970s 80s early 90s the Jovos used to have a big convention and hire the SWFC stadium for a week or so. In this time the whole district was packed with besuited JWs of all ages. Hillsborough park was taken over at lunchtimes as a picnic area, and they used to come around to everyone's door asking if there was a room spare during the convention.

Now interestingly they don't have this convention any longer, I wonder if it's because there numbers suffered when the world didn't end in 1999 ?

I understand from my book about cults, that there numbers suffered in the past when the earlier apocolypse years passed without event.

I don't find them as bad as door to door sales reps.

At least Jehovah's Witnesses do tend to go if you bluntly tell them you are not interested.

Sales people you have to virtually tell them to "b****r off" before they take the hint.

I have nothing against JW's, at least their religion (or cult or whatever) doesn't tell them to kill people who don't believe the same as them.

A guy I know is a JW & we talk about Football & Politics,he know's my faith & respects that fact,they are ordinary people with different beliefs.So do not be afraid to tell them you are a Catholic or C of E etc .What if people slagged of the Jews Or Catholics or Muslims if they came to your door preaching there respective religion there would be uproar.After all the JW are human beings & can be hurt by insults the same as any other religion.I do not agree with other religions as a C of E & most of my family are Catholic we have had some heated arguments.

Originally posted by tosh13
A guy I know is a JW & we talk about Football & Politics,he know's my faith & respects that fact,they are ordinary people with different beliefs.So do not be afraid to tell them you are a Catholic or C of E etc .What if people slagged of the Jews Or Catholics or Muslims if they came to your door preaching there respective religion there would be uproar.After all the JW are human beings & can be hurt by insults the same as any other religion.I do not agree with other religions as a C of E & most of my family are Catholic we have had some heated arguments.

I agree that its fair enough for people to talk to you about faith, but the reason people don't slag off Jews and Muslims for coming to your door preaching is because they don't do it.

On the subject of Cof E versus Catholic, C of E was invented because Henry VIII fell out with the pope - not much of a basis for a religion really?

I do not agree with other religions as a C of E

Catholicism & the Church of England are denominations of Christianity just as Jehovah's Witnesses consider themselves to be.

What if people slagged of the Jews Or Catholics or Muslims if they came to your door preaching there respective religion there would be uproar.

I don't think witnessing in the form of "door knocking" is an integral part of Judaism or Islam ( I maybe wrong but have never come across it) that form of evangelism tends to be favoured by more fundamentalist Christian groups on the whole - with the exception of Mormons maybe.

If you call on someone uninvited in order to sell them something whether it be a new kitchen, double glazing or eternal salvation then I guess you're going to have to develop a thick skin ;)

Originally posted by Yodameister
I agree that its fair enough for people to talk to you about faith, but the reason people don't slag off Jews and Muslims for coming to your door preaching is because they don't do it.

On the subject of Cof E versus Catholic, C of E was invented because Henry VIII fell out with the pope - not much of a basis for a religion really?
Point taken they might not come knocking on you door,but the Question posed is if they Did would they be treat the same as JW I think not.Well the Pope & Henry had there arguments but the same arguments have been going on for some time.It is a basic human right to support a religion or not.So why slag of JW like I said they are only human.

Point taken they might not come knocking on you door,but the Question posed is if they Did would they be treat the same as JW I think not.

but they DON'T that IS the point ;)

It is a basic human right to support a religion or not.So why slag of JW like I said they are only human.

I don't think anyone's challenging anyone's right to choose to follow a religion. It's when a total stranger arrives on your doorstep uninvited & attempts to convert you to their point of view that tends to annoy people :)

Some years ago when I was living in my batchelor pad I had regular (probably monthly) vists from JW's. I always politely refused & closed the door. They always politely persisted & sent someone different a week or 4 later.
One sunny Sunday afternoon this gorgeous blonde appeared on my doorstep with her chaparone - a younger sister. :o :wow: :heyhey:

Hello; :love: Come in - said Don. ala Leslie Philips

They were there nearly 3 hours talking about my favourite subject "sex before marriage".

JWs don't aparrently do it.

I even got her phone number out of her
(didn't give her mine tho...).

Needless to say I think I'd been swiftly added to their 'lost cause' list because, to-this-day, I've never had another one call!

:thumbsup: RESULT :banana:

Originally posted by Don_Kiddick
Some years ago when I was living in my batchelor pad I had regular (probably monthly) vists from JW's. I always politely refused & closed the door. They always politely persisted & sent someone different a week or 4 later.
One sunny Sunday afternoon this gorgeous blonde appeared on my doorstep with her chaparone - a younger sister. :o :wow: :heyhey:

Hello; :love: Come in - said Don. ala Leslie Philips

They were there nearly 3 hours talking about my favourite subject "sex before marriage".

JWs don't aparrently do it.

I even got her phone number out of her
(didn't give her mine tho...).

Needless to say I think I'd been swiftly added to their 'lost cause' list because, to-this-day, I've never had another one call!

:thumbsup: RESULT :banana:

You da MAN! :thumbsup:

Used to get 'Jovial' Witnesses on the step but one day I preached to the JW bloke about the sins of the world etc and wouldn't let him get a word in. After a few minutes he doffed his hat and left without having said a word.

However, a polite smile, a 'no thank you' and a closed door are less dramatic and work just as well for all unwanted callers.

My parents once saw some JWs calling at houses in their road. They hid down below the front window cill to pretend they weren't in. Oops, the JW's had gone round the back and tapped on the back window of the 'through lounge' - looking in wondering what Ma and Pa were doing on the floor.