I saw a trailer for a film last night that asked "Do you believe in love at first sight?" The answer, after a few minutes of she loves me, he loves her, she loves her, they all love each other nonsense, was that if you believe in love at first sight - you are always on the look out for love?

What do you think ? Has anyone ever fallen in love instantly and had it work out?

I don't believe in love at first sight, I believe you can know in your heart that you've found someone special or the one relatively quickly if you're lucky but don't believe that you can fall in love on sight.

Nope I don't believe you can either but then again I've always been a sceptic about the whole 'love' issue..

Guess one of my flaws is that I grow too attached to people quickly only to have it thrown back in my face, hence the reason I give this kinda thing a wide berth at all times..

This is probably the reason my mother and father will probably never get grandchildren from me.. Still my sister can do the deed for the family..

Yes - I do!

But unfortunaltely "she" (whichever she it happens to be that day) doesnt :suspect: :( :loopy: :hihi:

It can only be lust at first sight.

I too am sceptical about the concept of love. I suppose in the past people needed to stay together out of pragmatic or social necessity, and in recent decades the number of failed marriages and people having affairs occured purely and simply because people don't need each other any more. If their relationship fails, ultimately, so what? They won't (in most cases) be left begging on the streets, or bring eternal shame on the family or anything. For me (a cynical old b*****d) relationships will only work if A) there's pragmatic reasons for staying together, B) you can't get anyone better and eventually C) you've become too set in your ways to do anything about moving on.

Basically, what I'm saying is that there is no magical spark, no "chemistry", no way that you can fall for someone to the extent that you instantly you know you'll love them forever, just by clapping eyes on them for an instant. Unless you're looking at Kylie of course. You can only find them physically attractive, because that's all the information you'll have about them.

Originally posted by beckb


I don't believe in love at first sight, I believe you can know in your heart that you've found someone special or the one relatively quickly if you're lucky but don't believe that you can fall in love on sight.

I'd been in long term relationships for ages but would have said that there was no such thing as LAFS.
And then, one day, out of the blue, it happened. Not only that but at that point I not only realised that LAFS was possible but that all those other times when I thought I'd been in love - I hadn't. And it was the fact that I had nothing to compare these feelings against led me to believe that I was in love. But I wasn't
And, I was 32 when it happened. I'd been out with plenty of women who I felt nice things for, solid, real feelings, but I never felt this; this awful, clawing almost insane making, love. It totally threw me off balance. I started behaving irrationally, making bad judgements. All because my brain was obcessed with this one person. Honestly, if you had put the most sought after, wealthy, beautiful person in front of me and said she's all yours. I would have said 'no thanks' I found the one.
So I think my answer is this; if you don't believe in LAFS then it probbaly means you have never experienced it but if you have then you will know what I'm talking about. x

I have to say that it's probably a physical attraction at first and then develops into something like love,at least thats what I found.
After all first impresions do count for a lot dont they?

Originally posted by Edd
Yes - I do!

But unfortunaltely "she" (whichever she it happens to be that day) doesnt :suspect: :( :loopy: :hihi:
Strange feeling of déjà vu :suspect:

Originally posted by beckb
What do you think ? Has anyone ever fallen in love instantly and had it work out?


The first time I ever saw a doner kebab pizza with extra cheese & tomato and chilli sauce . . . . . . . . I was in love :blush:

Just out of curiousity do peple think you can be in love from the first time you see someone?
I think you can look at someone for the first time and think WOW this is the one for me.
Or do you feel that love is simply LUST,I go for the first one,what do others think??

No, I don't know how you could love someone just on looks. Instant extreme lust yes, love no....

I voted no. Think you can be instantly attracted to someone on first sight but love comes from getting to know the person in a deeper way.

I agree with Robbie. Instant lust - if you can stick around after the farting, burping, toilet seats left up and grotching - then its love!

To me, you can only love someone that you really care about ALOT for the person they are, to believe in love at first sight would mean it'd be based purely on looks, rather than the person as a whole... Which takes time :)

So I voted no, I don't believe in love at first sight... Only lust :D

GazB

EDIT: I replied before reading the other posts, but it seems everyone else shares my viewpoint :thumbsup:

Dawny,
What , pray tell, is 'grotching'?!

Grotching/grollying/flebbing in other words spitting out flem. Nice I know, thats why it has to be love to cope with that!

Thankyou, Dawny. I rather wish I hadn't asked!

Yes have done all my life ,even though I am married.I see someone and wow there its is ,I am in love,nothing ever comes of it but I am floating on cloud nine.I just think falling in love again-but I dont want to,I have too much to do but what am I too do I cant help it ?

am surprised the Forum Spelling Police haven't jumped on Roy for the thread title 'Love At First Site'. Only a matter if time I suppose.....:rolleyes:

As far as this forum is concerned, it certainly wasn't love at first site for me. There are still a lot of things I don't like about it (not least the very uneven quality of moderation) but it grows on you after a while.

It happened to me once! Well, it was love by the next morning at any rate, that's close enough in my book!

K x

Threads merged.

I agree with MsB - you can't fall in love with someone at first sight, lust maybe :o, but not love :) That takes time.

Happened to me twice. First time married 11 years and three kids but big mistake and now separated despite the fairytale beginning. Second time, she just happens to be married but it was there - I knew it was much more than lust and that it was going to happpen in both cases.

I said to friends that I had met the woman who was going to bear my children on the strength of that first meeting. Less than a year later our first daughter was born.

It can happen but I think I have used up all my goes.

Yes I believe in love at first sight.
It strikes instantly and leaves you feeling like an idiiot.
Can't hold a decent conversation, feel tongue tied and overlook every bad fault he has. Can't eat so lose weight. Nothing else seems to matter. It' like being ill for a while. Then if you are lucky you come to your senses. If you're unlucky you marry him.
Hazel

Maybe this poll ought to ask if anyone who has experienced love at first sight ended up 'happy ever after'? A lot of posts on here indicate they didn't :(

K x

Me and Mr Olliekitten got engaged after a mere three weeks. Perhaps not love at first sight, but definitely no hanging around!

When you know, you know!

I believe in love at second sight.. as in the second time I met my husband I knew I never wanted him to go home again.........!

Originally posted by beckb
"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

OR SHALL I WALK PAST AGAIN!!!!!


Someone had to say it :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Originally posted by richy32
OR SHALL I WALK PAST AGAIN!!!!!


Someone had to say it :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

That's terrible! You should post it here! (http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27431) :thumbsup:

K x

not a chance. marriages that have lasted longest that i know of were friends before they dated and then married

Removed due to irony of life!

K x

I used to in my twenties,but as Ive got older I realise that its probably "Lust at first sight " Your partner could be the best looking guy or gal in the world, but its inside that matters. Kindness I think comes top of my list now Im older.

I do believe in Love at first sight as opposed to love-lust at first site.

There is something about people that often allows us to differentiate between the two, but we rarely use that ability.

How do you know it is Love not love-lust? When no matter how your partner looks, you still find him or her to be the most attractive person on the planet. But you still know before hand.

Dragon

I believe in love at first meeting, sight probably not.

I believe the feelings of love are chemically induced, the high we feel, the removal of inhibitions etc. Not trying to take the romance out of it, I believe its a fantastic thing, and not entirely chemical. The chemical process needs proximity to work.

Cannot agree with you back2basics. What about love that outlasts distance? You cannot tell me once those so called chemicals kick in they remain active forever can you?

You find someone you Love and no matter what happens thereafter that Love remains strong and no way can you see any faults in the person you are in love with.

Chemical reactions in response to physical desire perhaps, but that emotion that goes beyond physical desire?

Dragon

Originally posted by Dragon
Cannot agree with you back2basics. What about love that outlasts distance? You cannot tell me once those so called chemicals kick in they remain active forever can you?


Really good point dragon!

The studies that have shown the release of certain hormones inducing euphoria IMHO, aid that first night. You know like the first kiss or the conversation that last through the night.. you never feel tired during those "love" moments! I think that breaks down the barriers and allows a closeness to happen, that normally would not, or at least in a much shorter time. It's that "we talked all night and a feel like I have known him/her for all my life".

I think that's the "chemistry" people talk about. And you feel it every time you meet or kiss for quiet a while.

But there is the other kind of love. The love that comes over time, like the love for family or a friend. And that is the love that takes over from the initial evolved response to the opposite sex. That chemical reaction does not last for ever. That initial high of love seems to last a matter of months... that 6 month where you spend very little time out of the bedroom... and a different kind of love takes over.

And i think thats why many (mainly women) are confused over the love vs lust issue.

It sounds horrible when I put it like that! Too clinical. Sorry. I erm love, love.. really I do. Just my take.

i beleive in love at first sight, but so far, i don't think i've been looking in the right places :confused:

Reminds me of a (never used) line

"Ere darlin, do you believe in love at first sight or shall I walk past again?"

:D

Mod Note: Threads merged

i believe in love at first sight

met my hubby of 31yrs while on holiday

his first words were" Hello you,we will probably be married in six months"

i replied casually "probably"

we just clicked

we were married within 6mths

the Lust discussion.

is it sexual lust or excitement of meeting someone who "you know/think/feel/sense" will/does make you feel good,albeit for a short time.

the work making a relationship last is built on communication at all levels and that includes sex
sex doesnt matter as you get older...load of nonsense..talk about it at least,laugh about it.
sex is a great bonding.

better stop here before i depart with too much information.

Yes i believe in love at first sight as its happened to me ;)