Saddest event of the week : Wee Jimmy Krankie had fallen from a pantomime beanstalk and suffered a
fractured skull.
Jimmy -real name Janette Tough aged 57 -was being comforted by her other half Ian.at a Glasgow Hospital.
I shall be sending a floral tribute and good wishes to the hilarious duo who have brought decades of laughter to mirth-hungry audiences across the nation.
Let's pray for a swift recovery and may they soon return with their rib-tickling capers to our TV screens.
Fandabbydozy.

I regret to have to inform you that there have been rumours doing the rounds of Theatreland that Krankie was pushed off the Beanstalk,deliberately.
The word is that a disgruntled member of the public had secreted him[or her] self on the Beanstalk and escaped later in the confusion of hysterical fans.
The motive was contained in a note shoved under Ms. Krankie's dressing room door.Apparently the Krankies had failed to make the perpetrator laugh for years and was unlikely to do so.This had enraged the [Scottish] miscreant--who had forked out £2. 50 to watch the proceedings--- and ,hence, the assult.
A sad business-- and I too will be sending something appropriate to the hospital----indeed as I did for Wee Goergie Wood and Old Mother Riley.

Delighted to hear that "the little lad" will not be forgotten over the festive season.
Surgeons have today confirmed that the invasive beanstalk has been removed and he will soon be up to his auld tricks again.
It has been a traumatic time for his partner Ian and naturally if things had taken a turn for the worse we would be faced with just The Krankie.A fate that befell those other famous laughter-makers Cheese n Onion when one of them sadly died.
But as Jimmy would say 'that's showbusiness'.
Meanwhile I am pleased to say that my floral tribute -a wee dolly in a tasteful bouquet of heather sprigs is winging its way Glasgow-wards as we speak.
My dear wife is hoping to complete a knitted tam-o-shanter which should serve him well during his convalescence.
If any other Forum members wish to send something I hear on the grapevine that Jimmy is a little partial to shortbread biscuits
which are plentiful at the moment in a range of illustrated tins.
The one featuring Highland scenes would be especially apt.
No Beanie-babies though please.

I used to love the Krankies when I was little back in the early 80s.

They were FANDABBYDOZY!

Well, Rich, the Krankie under discussion was little in the early '80's and is still little,even as we speak.
Even if for only for that reason,I think we should all rally round in his [her] hour of need.
I've found some chocolate-coated Haggis in Morrison's [you deep-fry it] and Bazzo could perhaps offer a few days of counselling.We must all play our parts ,without flinching.
How about you Rich ? You could perhaps send the little fellow[lass] a video of Little and Large to brighten up the Hogmanny.

Originally posted by Rich
I used to love the Krankies when I was little back in the early 80s.

They were FANDABBYDOZY!


I remember them when I was growing up in the early 70's. But then, my granddad also......

I understand that David Blunkett -our local MP -has also expressed concern for the "little lad".Although he wasn't specific,laughter-lovers nationwide know he must have meant the diminutive denizen of Glasgow .
Good on yer Dave - and they say politicians are unfeeling!
Always look on the Bright side.

I hate to bring up the subject of D. Blunkett's disablity--in fact,he has shown great determination in getting where he is today---- but do you think he would feel the same about La Krankie if he could actually see the little mite.? After all one Scottish accent is much like another---a sort of aggressive growling rumble.
Anyway---all hands to the boats ! Would it be possible to organise a lorry [A la Romania } to take some "goodies " up to the wee laddie{lassy] ?
We could all contribute----masks, practical jokes , videos of Andy Stuart on T.V's Hogmanny programme.....the possibilities are endless
Also,urgently needed is a petition demanding that pantomimes be banned or at the very least, strongly supervised. We could still have "Aladdin and the magic Torch ",Jack and the Stepladder " Dick Whittington and His toothless Puppy".
Children under the age of 16 would not be admitted due to laryngitis through shouting.

Scottish accents on television can be effectively translated using the subtitling feature on teletext 888.Indispensable when watching football managers giving a post-match summary and
catching the subtle nuances in the Krankies cross-patter.
The latest bulletin from Glasgow Primary Care Trust is positive.
The "little lad "is reported to be sitting up.However on account of his size this has yet to be confirmed.
The Glasgow Hospital -faced with a deluge of get-well cards from several fans -has requested that mail be sent to the Adult
Ward.There was some confusion originally when he was mistakenly admitted to the Children's Ward.But in the current climate it was felt inappropriate for a 50 year lady in a schoolboy
outfit to be among vulnerable young patients over the festive season.
Sadly the accident has meant that our Hogmanay coach trip to the Glasgow Pantomime has been cancelled so refunds are on their way to the three local fans.
As an alternative we have arranged a Turkey'n' Tinsel trip which includes a behind-the -scenes visit to Poundland in Rotherham
following by a slap-up lunch at the Makro dinery off the Parkway in Sheffield.And yes -you have guessed it - non-stop
music en-route featuring the very best of Kristmas Krankies including their current chart-climber Do they ken it's Christmas.
Book early to avoid disappointment.

I'm not being pedantic but shouldn't that be,
"book early to ensure disappointment "

Since the subject of Scottish people has cropped up ,a terrible thought has just struck me ,like, the proverbial thunderbolt.
As we wend our way through bus queues and pubs and so on we often overhear the lumpenproletariat ,thus :
"Ay, we ought to send 'em all back to wier thi come from-- bloody foreigners,comin' o'er 'ere an' tekkin' ar jobs and wimmin.....etc....."
We always assume they are talking about the more recent additions to our fair land....but.... they could be referring to our Brethren,north of the Border.Nobody would bother to ask them,in any case.
It all figures,does it not ? Stealing jobs ? Jim "Naughty" on Today programme ; stealin women ? Does anyone really trust that Wee Devil , Robin Cooke and his tartan trouser snake: Money ?
"Jolly" Gordon ,taxing us for every penny he can get his Scottish claws on.
This is all apart from Andy Stewart, the aforementioned Krankies,bagpipes,kilts,knobbly knees and the Glasgow kiss and ditto accent.
No wonder the folk in head -scarves and cloth-caps want to send the b*****s back over Hadrian's Wall----maybe it's the only language they understand .Meks you think,anyroad.

I really fancy Jimmy/Janette Krankie, but I'm more than a little confused. Does that make me gay, straight or a paedophile? ;)

I would guess , just short-sighted.

Latest Bulletin from Glasgow Hospital:

Good news -and bad news
The "little lad" appears to have made a miraculous recovery not unconnected with a complementary treatment of magic beans.
However one of the side effects has been a sudden burst of growth which has baffled the medical staff.
The former wee Jimmie is now known as Lanky Kranky and must be all of seven feet tall.On the positive side this has been
useful in affixing Christmas decorations to the ward ceilings.
Today's visitors included Buttercup the Cow,Dame Trott and a
un-named giant of a man.
Just a final reminder that the Sheffield Branch of the Krankies Appreciation Society will be closed over the Christmas period - urgent messages can be sent to the Care in the Community Hotline (marked Mental) which is being staffed by trained volunteers.

Dear Krankies Appreciation Society
Listen, when I switch me telly on o'er t' Xmas an' New Year , I expec' to see t' Krankies and such,not all this chuffin' culture stuff an religioun an ' all that. I want to see Andy Stuart at t' New Year Do, not Malcolm Bragg an' that an' Jeremy Pax worth.
A never stop laffin ' at them owld On The Buses films an' A love thm Singalong wi Max Bygraves and Des O' Connor an ' that's whar A pay me licentious fee for,not Panoramic or Universal by Night.
So ,i for one 'm glad to 'ear t' little lad's recuvverin' in t' hospital an ' av sent 'im some spice an 'some owld Oor Wullie Annuities.
Lifelong Fan
Off t' Wybourne

Any recent news on the wee laddie?