I am interested to see how many people out there do actually believe there is a League...

When either sex (Male or Female) fancy the opposite why does nothing get done about it...

Is the reply... They’re out of my League...

I was talking to a guy once about who he fancied in the office... He told me about several Girls... When i asked him had he done anything about it his reply to my amazement was no 'she’s out of my league'

Me being an analytical person I looked further into it... As I happen to believe in the League... :?

My conclusion is that it comes from your school days...

3 groups Top Middle & Loser's?

Girls & Boys in the lower years who hang about with the 4th & 5th years (top class)
Girls & Boys who get on with their own groups (middle class)
then Girls & Boys who people tend to ignore they even exist (Loser’s?)

example: if one of the girls or boys decided to hang out with the 4th & 5th years it wouldn’t work... they wouldn’t be good enough to mix with the older people an may even show them up... Same as the girls & boys who just get on with things in their own groups... the second group wouldn’t be nasty in any way they just like their own group an don’t want it disrupted by outsiders…

If you box outside your weight you'll end up with a nose bleed.

So yeah, there are different leagues... you can always work on promotion though.

formula for league busting........start off asking the best looking lady in the club for a dance.work your way down... end of night you,ve got to end up with a girl never fails,

Very interesting to see that the majority of people are argeeing that there is a so called League...

One way of looking at it snook :)

I reckon it does come from schooldaze but it's all to do with confidence. Some have it, some don't. Of course other factors play a role but if we are encouraged to believe in ourselves then anything is possible.

Originally posted by Bloomdido
I reckon it does come from schooldaze but it's all to do with confidence. Some have it, some don't. Of course other factors play a role but if we are encouraged to believe in ourselves then anything is possible.

We're all human why should someone be out of our league :? Its weird how the mind works...

A while back now a guy told me i was out of his league i couldnt believe what i was hearing... I am me! I dont feel i'm any different compared to others...


Strange!

A while back now a guy told me i was out of his league i couldnt believe what i was hearing...

I think "leagues" exist it's just how we define them that differs. I do wonder though if that guy who told you he was out of your league was being very open or just hoping to be told he was wrong ;)

Originally posted by Siân
I do wonder though if that guy who told you he was out of your league was being very open or just hoping to be told he was wrong ;)

Hehe, it's a great line. It usually works though!! :D

Hmmm, it's kind of true, but it's really a state of mind. The league tend sto break down after school finishes, especially if you go of to uni or something, it's a fresh start.
And as snook said, you can work on a promotion...

And by the way depoix... was that you in the Leadmill on Saturday night, working your way round?!!

Hmm... from my experience when I was younger, those people who thought they were "out of my league", were usually people who:
- spent way too much time on their looks
- were always fashionable
- always popular
- always laughing at just the right time
- thought money was something they should worship



So, with hindsight, I'm not even sure why I was finding them attractice... I think perhaps they were just something I thought I should aspire too...

As for someone telling someone else to their face "I'm out of your league"... :D yeah.. they're right.. you're waaaay above some stuck up twit like that... Get real...



But, to put things on a slightly more even keel... I don't believe so much in leagues but more in common ground, interests, sense of humour, experience, and all those little things that make people click or not... You can only find that sort of thing out by trying to talk to someone... and if they can't be bothered to talk to you, well their loss most likely.. :)

And I feel sorry for the really lovely people you meet from time to time, who are just wonderful people to be with, pretty, smiley, happy and generally who probably only ever get asked out by tw*ts who want to be seen with them instead of for who they are... while everyone else thinks.. "out of my league"...

...Sod that.. go talk to em :)

Originally posted by Siân
I think "leagues" exist it's just how we define them that differs. I do wonder though if that guy who told you he was out of your league was being very open or just hoping to be told he was wrong ;)

I dunno... basically he was saying that i was too good for him... maybe he did want me to argue the point who knows :? Maybe 'he' wanted to be flattered!

Well... his plan didnt work :lol:

I think there are two seperate issues

1 Your actual interests and personal qualities

2 Your confidence in getting to know/chat up new people

In my opinion you should be able to make a good initial judgement of where other people fit into category 1 and not waste too much time on people that are quite different to you.

On category 2 you should be able to work on this - you are never going to get anywhere if you shy away from talking to people.

Leagues I guess comes under category 2, its just a matter of getting more self confidence.

On friday i ended up with a girl proper out of my league!

Excellent!

Originally posted by Fowler
On friday i ended up with a girl proper out of my league!

Excellent!

Sorry to get personal... Just that night or will you be seeing her again...

Good luck to you if your seeing her again.... go Fowler :)

Originally posted by Bloomdido
I reckon it does come from schooldaze but it's all to do with confidence. Some have it, some don't. Of course other factors play a role but if we are encouraged to believe in ourselves then anything is possible.

I'd agree with Bloomdido - if you're confident enough you'll attract the other sex (and quite possibly the same sex) without much effort. Confidence is attractive.

I think a League does exist based on how good looking you're seen to be (the marks out of 10 thing) - but the older you get, the less important this becomes. Other factors come into play much more then, like sense of humour, general personality, interests, confidence, compatibility, etc - though things like money and status always seem to shout and scream for most people, unfortunately.

But, in my opinion, people shouldn't base their expectations on how they were rated at school. As Beckyaa said, going off to university is a fabulous chance to reinvent yourself and start afresh. I had a miserable time at school and absolutely hated it - I was a 'late bloomer' in the looks department and didn't go on my first date until I was 18, at uni. I think I was seen as being too clever (and I was very shy), and therefore couldn't POSSIBLY be attractive as well. (Sarcasm).

What a difference going to uni made! I was suddenly popular and in demand, and spoilt for choice for good-looking blokes. This in itself gave me more confidence and made me more willing to talk to new people.

I think whatever your looks are like, if you don't talk to people, then clearly you're going to find it difficult to find a partner! Doh! I think it's really sad this "out of my league" thing - if you like the look of someone, for goodness sake talk to them! Nothing ventured, and all the rest of it. They may be really shy and desperate for you to chat to them, you just don't know.

As Martin says, if as a bloke you think a girl is "out of your league", then chances are other blokes are thinking the same, and the poor girl never gets chatted up! Except by arrogant t****** who think they're IT and probably will just treat her as some sort of trophy - a possession or something rather than a person.

Oops, sorry, rant over! I just wish people would treat each other more as fellow human beings, rather than as trophies, meal tickets or whatever.

StarSparkle :)

Originally posted by StarSparkle
I just wish people would treat each other more as fellow human beings, rather than as trophies, meal tickets or whatever.

StarSparkle :)

I totally agree with you in the above... Everyone should be treated the same... Maybe not everyone has that right look about them but they do have a personality...

Personalities can be very attractive... only if more people would give others that one chance to find out...

Dont be a member of 'The League' Chase your dream... ;)

Originally posted by Angel05
Dont be a member of 'The League' Chase your dream... ;)

After all, if you don't ask, you don't get!

StarSparkle

I personally believe that the 'league' definately exists. I prefer the annalogy of a free matket with all that that implies. Loke any market some people do very well out of it and other do very badly. The market can be very cruel indeed to those who cannot 'compete', although this tends to be cruelty by neglect rather than deliberate intended cruelty.

There is no doubt in my mind that some people do very well in this 'romance market' amd gain much from it. Others, however, just get heartbroken and suffer a lot of emotional hurt.

This is not some attempt at gaining sympathy, but every girls (and I mean EVERY girl I have ever like has disliked me. All i have ever received from them is at best indifference and at worst repulsion. I can only speak from experience (just like anyone can). It is my own experiences that have formed my opinions. I am currently 34 so this sort of thing is now a well established trend. In conclusion, life is not fair. People get what they can, not what they deserve.

It's self-selecting.

If you think someone is out of your league ... then they are.

Leagues certainly do exist, because i am currently residing in the non-leagues :rant: :| :hihi:

Originally posted by Siân
I think "leagues" exist it's just how we define them that differs. I do wonder though if that guy who told you he was out of your league was being very open or just hoping to be told he was wrong ;)

The old flattery tactic eh Sian ... !? *makes mental note*

did you see that prog the other nite about fancy women dating mingy men?

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
did you see that prog the other nite about fancy women dating mingy men?

Nope Natalie, sounds quite interesting, can you tell us what happened?

it was on baout nice looking girls dating gross famous men (simply red, peter stringfellow) and why they do it. they did tests etc and revealed its their fame, status or lack of competition from other women. although one girl made it really obvious it was the money (7 million per annum)
it was interesting, i suppose it cuts both ways though

I guess there are leagues, like, theres not much chance of any of us scoring a super model or a really fit actress any time soon is there? even if you met them and talked to them you'd still never score...

I can't really comment on the whole league thing from a personnel POV as I'm pretty crap at chatting women up, plus I've not been single for a lonnnnnnnnng time, so now I am single I guess I'm gonna have to start learning about this all over again... lovely!

I guess things get easier with a few drinks in your belly though, you get a bit more confidence to confront the women that you believe are a bit out of your league... but if your decent enough about your approach your not going to get more than a no or some form of rejection... you can live from that... better than nobheads that end up getting a slap with they start chatting women up with rude lines and stuff! ha

well on that program it did experiment with ugly men chatting up models. an ugly bloke is actually more likely to try his luck. maybe hes used to rejection?? a nice looking lad wont want to be rejected - ego and all that
on a nice note - think Notting Hill

At least the girl who made it obvious it was for the money was being honest, I can respect that. Makes me wonder if a pretty girl would ever date a man for love, for loving who he is, rather than what he can give her.

and that includes vice versa of course cos we all know boys can be as bad as girls, in all areas of love and war.

'The League' is all in the mind... how else could you have explained Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovitt (no offence to Lyle or anything)

Saying that - if it affects someone's behaviour then the league is a real thing.

if you dont know the person and ur just going on face value....would you go for an "ugly".
i know boys who have as they think "its" easier
its a cruel world out there and very scary when you get thinking

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
and that includes vice versa of course cos we all know boys can be as bad as girls, in all areas of love and war.

Yes ... men and women can be just as bad (and nice) as each other in all walks of life.

I guess men (generally) value women with cute looks, sexy bodies and sweet lovely personalities.

I guess women (generally) value men who can make them feel special and loved (and also happen to have big wallets - joke).



I agree with you thebodgie, it's all in the mind, and has a LOT to do with how you feel about and value yourself.

Originally posted by Jamie
At least the girl who made it obvious it was for the money was being honest, I can respect that. Makes me wonder if a pretty girl would ever date a man for love, for loving who he is, rather than what he can give her.

Yes, of course Jamie - you sound so cynical!

ok, let's be realistic - a lot of (immature) girls/women date blokes because they have a large wallet and are primarily out for what the bloke can buy them. Similarly, a lot of blokes just want a good-looking woman on their arm to make them look important, to show off to their friends. That's all about status, is selfish, and has nothing to do with Love.

Surely anyone of either sex with any sort of personal integrity would want nothing to do with the sort of people above?

If you love someone enough, you don't care what possessions they have or haven't got - maybe I'm naive, but to me love is all about caring for and valuing another person, not Things like a fancy car or designer clothes.

What matters is the chemistry between two people, how their personalities interact, whether they can make each other laugh, whether it's the two of them united against the world, and all that sort of slushy stuff.

You can tell very quickly (IMO) if there's a basic chemistry there, and if there is, then I'd say go for it. You just never know what might happen .....

Sorry for rambling again!

StarSparkle :)

The 'league' is not just about looks (although these are important). Things like personality, money, sense of humour and age (this one seems particulary important to many women) are all things which can determin if you are in or out of a girl's league.

Originally posted by NatalieSheff

its a cruel world out there and very scary when you get thinking

This is one of the wisest things I have seen on this forum for a long while. I agree 110%

Originally posted by StarSparkle
Yes, of course Jamie - you sound so cynical!

a lot of blokes just want a good-looking woman on their arm to make them look important, to show off to their friends. That's all about status, is selfish, and has nothing to do with Love.



StarSparkle :)

With respect I'm not sure this is always the case. I can only speak for myself but my desire for a beautiful girlfriend has nothing to do with wanting to show her off or treat her as some kind of trophy. I simply want a nice romantic relationship with a girl and to experience how nice it is to be physically close with someone (not necessarily sexual either just romantic). With the best will in the world i wouldn't get these feelings with a girl I didn't find attractive.

Maybe I am in a minority of men and most do just want 'trophy' girlfriends as you say, but I can genuinely say that is not the case for me.

Originally posted by slimsid2000
This is one of the wisest things I have seen on this forum for a long while. I agree 110%
CHEERS MATE!
following on, everyone has their own agenda, whether they admit it or not. Not that i saying we all have nasty agendas, some people just wanna be loved:)

Originally posted by slimsid2000
With respect I'm not sure this is always the case. I can only speak for myself but my desire for a beautiful girlfriend has nothing to do with wanting to show her off or treat her as some kind of trophy. I simply want a nice romantic relationship with a girl and to experience how nice it is to be physically close with someone (not necessarily sexual either just romantic). With the best will in the world i wouldn't get these feelings with a girl I didn't find attractive.

Maybe I am in a minority of men and most do just want 'trophy' girlfriends as you say, but I can genuinely say that is not the case for me.

I completely agree with you slimsid.

I want someone who I personally find beautiful. It has nothing to do with what anyone else thinks. I wouldn't want to show her off.

Originally posted by StarSparkle

What matters is the chemistry between two people, how their personalities interact, whether they can make each other laugh, whether it's the two of them united against the world, and all that sort of slushy stuff.

You can tell very quickly (IMO) if there's a basic chemistry there, and if there is, then I'd say go for it. You just never know what might happen .....

Not at all, I agree at least.

I was going to write something similar until I got this far.

I thought it was quite obvious in a persuit for happiness!

Don`t we call it compatability?

I liked Snooks analgy though, about the boxing :hihi: :hihi:

Originally posted by venger
Not at all, I agree at least.

I was going to write something similar until I got this far.

I thought it was quite obvious in a persuit for happiness!

Don`t we call it compatability?

I liked Snooks analgy though, about the boxing :hihi: :hihi:

As I see it, it's all about Chemistry.

With it, I'd say any potential pairing has some sort of chance.

Without it - forget it.

Just my thoughts.

StarSparkle :)

i think its once you get past caring what other people think, that you truely find ur Love

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
i think its once you get past caring what other people think, that you truely find ur Love

What on earth does it matter what other people think?

They're not living your life!

StarSparkle :confused:

PS Not having a go at you at all, NatalieSheff - just seems irrelevant to me what other people think

Originally posted by StarSparkle
What on earth does it matter what other people think?

They're not living your life!

StarSparkle :confused:

PS Not having a go at you at all, NatalieSheff - just seems irrelevant to me what other people think
think u read my tone wrong sweetie, i personally couldnt give a poop what people think of my man - i ve dated some real freaks hehe! call it care in the community! haha ! everyone was unfavourable about me and my man, and 5 years on...still here
But some people are shallow, and wont find their own feet and do what everyone tells them too.

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
think u read my tone wrong sweetie, i personally couldnt give a poop what people think of my man - i ve dated some real freaks hehe! call it care in the community! haha ! everyone was unfavourable about me and my man, and 5 years on...still here
But some people are shallow, and wont find their own feet and do what everyone tells them too.

Actually, I agree with you completely. I obviously missed the gist of your posting, but it wasn't that clear.

It seems to me a one-on-one relationship is as personal as it gets, so I don't understand why anyone else should have any say in it (as long as it's legal, of course).

It does seem though that a lot of people won't date someone who's "out of their league" in case their friends disapprove or whatever - what a truly sad way to run your life! That makes no sense at all to me.

I'm glad we agree!

StarSparkle :thumbsup:

I once asked if someone was at a party I was at (just out of idle curiosity, you understand)

I was told "Why are you asking about her? She is Premier League, mate, and you are strictly Vauxhall Conference"

No self esteem issues for me then! :)

hmmm whenever i read this title thread i sing in my head 'just a fool to believe i have anyhting she needs, she's like the wind, she's outta my leaaaaguee'!!

anyhow, just to add i don't think anyone is out of my league - just a state of mind and that's how you should all think - everyone has many qualities

Originally posted by Bedhead
hmmm whenever i read this title thread i sing in my head 'just a fool to believe i have anyhting she needs, she's like the wind, she's outta my leaaaaguee'!!

LOL! Glad i wasnt the only one... Was singing it for days after i first started the thread :lol:

anyhow, just to add i don't think anyone is out of my league - just a state of mind and that's how you should all think - everyone has many qualities

But now you have started me singing Holly Vallance... Just a state of mind! :help: :)

People do have many different qualities some being more appealing than others...

Originally posted by MrHelicopter
I once asked if someone was at a party I was at (just out of idle curiosity, you understand)

I was told "Why are you asking about her? She is Premier League, mate, and you are strictly Vauxhall Conference"

No self esteem issues for me then! :)

Yeah ok she maybe called Premier League.. But does your mate know what her League is? that is if she has one... or was it a little bit a green eyed monster moment!? :?

Should people think of me in that way they would be truly mistaken... Everyone should be treated equally we're all human an we all have feelings...

I have never really been one to go on looks alone... Personality counts for a lot in my books... Make me laugh/smile, feel special loved and wanted an your onto a winner!... that’s what my partner did an well lets just say... he won my heart :blush: :lol:

Originally posted by MrHelicopter
I once asked if someone was at a party I was at (just out of idle curiosity, you understand)

I was told "Why are you asking about her? She is Premier League, mate, and you are strictly Vauxhall Conference"

No self esteem issues for me then! :)

This sounds to me like a case of sour grapes from the person you asked. He obviously didn't have the guts to speak to her himself, and didn't want anyone else to be successful with her.

StarSparkle :thumbsup:

Originally posted by StarSparkle
This sounds to me like a case of sour grapes from the person you asked. He obviously didn't have the guts to speak to her himself, and didn't want anyone else to be successful with her.

StarSparkle :thumbsup:

My thoughts too i reckon it was a Green eyed monster moment :)

I'm guessing this "league" rubbish is based entirely on looks ?

I can't understand why people would think someone is out of their league, why would they be, they might be good looking but they might be thick as two short planks ?

I think it's partly down to the support you get from your mates/family, if they constantly tell you that people are too good for you and put you down then eventually you will start to believe it, if thats the case, you need new friends.

In some peoples opinion this is what can class as a ‘League’…

Looks: Top of the League

A good looking girl can knock a bloke for six... but what about what she has to offer other than a nice body? an looks great on your arm… but asking every 5 mins 'does my bum look big in this' clearly not as she’s a size 10!

Personality: Bottom of the League (maybe)



Personality: Top of the League

A big girl could do exactly the same with her bubbly fun personality... but is she given a second chance/glance... Not really cause she wouldn’t look as good on your arm as someone slim?... If she asked 'does my bum look big in this' the answer would be a defo yes (I know mine does )

Looks: Bottom of the League (maybe)

Some men may go with the Top of the league looks... rather than Top league personality...

Not bitter this is the way I feel some people see things... people should be given equal opportunities... may they be fat/slim black/white ugly or pretty... everyone is human no matter what their size colour or looks

ps this post isn’t to offend...

Inevitably appearence is the first thing you notice about somebody (unless you have got to know them through telephone/letter/email/internet contact first.

But you don't always have to look at the obvious nice body/figure stuff, what usually attracts me is the face, and I reckon you can tell personality a lot from the way someone looks facially in reacting to things.

Originally posted by Yodameister
Inevitably appearence is the first thing you notice about somebody

True, the first thing I notice is what someone is wearing, you can tell a lot about a person from their clothes.

Originally posted by nick2
True, the first thing I notice is what someone is wearing, you can tell a lot about a person from their clothes.

Sometimes going by what outfit someone is wearing shows that they have money... this is sometimes the cause of the League...

Example:

They're out of my League... 'i dont have money to buy clothes like that how can i fit in with my wardrobe'?

I know it shouldnt be like that but for some thats just how it is...

Its a shame how it makes people feel

If I see someone wearing an expensive label I tend to be given the immediate impression that they are shallow people who are more concerned about superficiality that substance, as they could have bought clothes of just as a high a quality cheaper if it didn't have that designer label on it.

Originally posted by nick2
I'm guessing this "league" rubbish is based entirely on looks ?


I wonder how much the media (esp magazines like "Heat" and "Hello", etc) is 'responsible' for the idea that you should only date a person whose looks are around the same level as yours?

The celebrity mags love celebs who're going out with other celebs - those regularly featured in Heat, for example, are usually equally-matched in their 'toothiness and tanned-ness'! (Apologies for massacring the English language!).

If a celebrity steps out of line and dates a non-celeb (especially, heaven-forbid, a fat and/or plain one - it does happen!) just watch the flack they get thrown at them - and their partner. The bitchiness levels soar to new 'heights'.

I may be wrong, but I'm sure this reinforces the idea with people in general that you're supposed to pick a partner who matches you in the looks department, or you're somehow 'breaking the rules'.

Horrible, pernicious stuff.

StarSparkle

What I meant is you can tell if the person is casual and laid-back, or smart and primm, fashionable or not interested in fashion, that kind of thing.

Expensive lables just tell you they have money, not what they are like realy.

Originally posted by Yodameister
If I see someone wearing an expensive label I tend to be given the immediate impression that they are shallow people who are more concerned about superficiality that substance, as they could have bought clothes of just as a high a quality cheaper if it didn't have that designer label on it.

TOTALLY agree with you on this, Yodameister.
Designer clothes are something that would definitely put me off someone rather than attracting me to them.

StarSparkle :thumbsup:

Originally posted by StarSparkle
TOTALLY agree with you on this, Yodameister.
Designer clothes are something that would definitely put me off someone rather than attracting me to them.

StarSparkle :thumbsup:

Assuming of course that you knew they were designer clothes, unless there is a logo or label most people woudn't be able to tell the difference.

I agree that designer "look at me" clothes with huge logos etc. are a turn off, they are just there to show how much money you have, but designer stuff can be plain, simple and stylish too.

There was a guy who came in to the place where I was socialising last night, and he had an expensive looking suit, shirt, shoes ... all very nice looking clothes ... and a cool hair cut.

His female companion was also a bit on the foxey side, and other women in the room noticed him straight away!

And then there was me, my jeans and tshirt didn't stand a chance!




I think also think what nick2 says here ...

"I think it's partly down to the support you get from your mates/family, if they constantly tell you that people are too good for you and put you down then eventually you will start to believe it, if thats the case, you need new friends."

... is very true.

Originally posted by StarSparkle
TOTALLY agree with you on this, Yodameister.
Designer clothes are something that would definitely put me off someone rather than attracting me to them.

StarSparkle :thumbsup:

that's me buggered then

I've been thinking about the 'league'... I think it's basically an assessment (however innacurate it may be) about how attractive someone may be to another person. (i.e. Does Aaron have the attributes that would make them attractive to person Brenda? If not then Brenda is out of Aaron's league)

And this assessment can include a number of considerations - looks, personality, social status, moral values, intelligence, etc. depending on the available information. These ratings are subjective qualities so self assessments can be affected by people's opinion of themselves (low self esteem -> less likely to be in same league as the desired person).

When you first meet someone you mainly have visual information... so no suprise that most 'league' judgements
are based on looks alone.

In the end it's only a judgement - if you think you can or you think you can't, you're right!

Although i firmly believe there is a 'league' in as much as people usually end up with those roughly of their 'level' I'm not especially convinced it is based on looks alone.

From a male point of view I find it upsetting that girls seem so reluctant to choose men who are most in need of a girlfriend (and have a lot to offer) but rather go for those who are already very popular with girls.

I think men who are shy and not confident at talking to girls suffer particularly badly in this respect. So many girls seem impressed by the cocky, loudmouths with all the chat even though under the surface they are not really a nice person at all.

:(

From a male point of view I find it upsetting that girls seem so reluctant to choose men who are most in need of a girlfriend

the heart of the problem lies with the word "need" Sid. It can be a v scary word that ;)

Originally posted by slimsid2000
I think men who are shy and not confident at talking to girls suffer particularly badly in this respect. So many girls seem impressed by the cocky, loudmouths with all the chat even though under the surface they are not really a nice person at all.

:(

I agree totally, what IS the obsession with girls liking people who look and act "hard" or "cool"?

I've never ever been chatted up by a lass, or not that I can remember, yet I have so many good qualities about myself, I'm sure I could get a lot of attension if I wasn't so naturally shy... I find it extremly hard to just walk upto someone and start talking to them...

is there any cure for being shy other than getting a fair few drinks inside you? :( I really need to get out of the state of ending up dating girls I've known as friends for a while cus the r/ships end weirdly and it takes ages to get back to being friends without feeling awkward!

Hmmm... the attraction to cockiness... perhaps some insight can be gained by the courtship rituals of birds...

http://ladywildlife.com/animal/birdcourtship.html

Originally posted by xafier
is there any cure for being shy other than getting a fair few drinks inside you? :( I really need to get out of the state of ending up dating girls I've known as friends for a while cus the r/ships end weirdly and it takes ages to get back to being friends without feeling awkward!

Just be yourself, not what you think she will want you to be.. Don't make false impressions mate, it will all blow up in your face..

I do have shy tendancies as well (awaits the laughter from a select few :suspect: ) But once Im in what I call 'My Zone' then gawd help anyone!

Think of it another way, if she isn't interested, her loss :) Get up, Move on and show people the 'real' you

Quote:
From a male point of view I find it upsetting that girls seem so reluctant to choose men who are most in need of a girlfriend

Originally posted by Siân
the heart of the problem lies with the word "need" Sid. It can be a v scary word that ;)

Also girls like to feel special, because some of them are!

Originally posted by Siân
the heart of the problem lies with the word "need" Sid. It can be a v scary word that ;)

Nothing is more off-putting than the cloying scentof desparation!!!

Originally posted by evildrneil
Nothing is more off-putting than the cloying scentof desparation!!!
Damn... more aftershave?! :gag: :D :D

Originally posted by Siân
the heart of the problem lies with the word "need" Sid. It can be a v scary word that ;)

I suppose everybody needs somebody, whether they be male or female. Or am I wrong?:confused:

I suppose everybody needs somebody, whether they be male or female. Or am I wrong?

Yes but particular people for specific qualities :)

Originally posted by Siân
Yes but particular people for specific qualities :)

Of course. I don't want to give the impression that I am looking for just anybody. It goes without saying that the girl has to be right for me or at least seem as though she might be from first impressions.

Originally posted by Bedhead
that's me buggered then
totally agreeing with u here regarding starprakle comment - i love clothes and always try to look nice. i appreciate people who make the effort and compliment people on their clothes. im very picky and if you looked like an oasis scrubber i prob wouldnt speak to you!:D
(bracing myself for the comebacks...)

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
(bracing myself for the comebacks...)

Not at all Natalie, your honesty is quite refreshing and very welcome, and after all, it's hardly the crime of the century to like well turned out members of the opposite sex!

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
totally agreeing with u here regarding starprakle comment - i love clothes and always try to look nice. i appreciate people who make the effort and compliment people on their clothes. im very picky and if you looked like an oasis scrubber i prob wouldnt speak to you!:D
(bracing myself for the comebacks...)


What difference should it make on what clothes people are wearing... or could it be the fact that because the female or Male wearing cheap clothes clearly isnt worth talking to as it proves they just dont have the cash to keep YOU! happy?

I myself always like to look nice when i go out... I unfortunately dont have the money that i'd like to have to spend on clothes... But i make the most of what i do have an havent had any complaints...

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
totally agreeing with u here regarding starprakle comment - i love clothes and always try to look nice. i appreciate people who make the effort and compliment people on their clothes. im very picky and if you looked like an oasis scrubber i prob wouldnt speak to you!:D
(bracing myself for the comebacks...)

I don't think anyone is saying that you shouldn't dress well, its just obsessiveness over what the label says that I was getting at.

Again on the question of shyness, I have found that women in bars/clubs don't bother to come up to me and talk. I suspect that this is usual and it is expected that men make the first move. Am I right in assuming this or do other people have different experiences?

Originally posted by slimsid2000
Again on the question of shyness, I have found that women in bars/clubs don't bother to come up to me and talk. I suspect that this is usual and it is expected that men make the first move. Am I right in assuming this or do other people have different experiences?

I've never had a woman approach me first. A while ago, I realised that women just do not make the first move, and I was either going to have to stop being shy or only have very limited opportunities of meeting women.

Originally posted by Angel05
What difference should it make on what clothes people are wearing... or could it be the fact that because the female or Male wearing cheap clothes clearly isnt worth talking to as it proves they just dont have the cash to keep YOU! happy?
...
cash to keep me? gees i wish!!
haha! i keep myself thanks. i just think people should make an effort and not have an entire wardrobe of primark:gag:

Originally posted by Yodameister
I've never had a woman approach me first. A while ago, I realised that women just do not make the first move, and I was either going to have to stop being shy or only have very limited opportunities of meeting women.
personally im too busy talking, dancing and laughin tho thinka bout approaching boys. if you wanna chat - come say hi, although if i see a fancy dancer i may go say hello

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
personally im too busy talking, dancing and laughin tho thinka bout approaching boys. if you wanna chat - come say hi, although if i see a fancy dancer i may go say hello

Yeah, I tend to find that women do think a lot less about that sort of thing. I don't know if its just a natural thing or if its social conditioning. I guess its a bit of both.

just dont think im the pulling type, even if i was single - too much hassle and you get stuck with someone when ur friends are havin fun mmm

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
im very picky and if you looked like an oasis scrubber i prob wouldnt speak to you!:D

(bracing myself for the comebacks...)

I would say this is a VERY shallow comment... your prepared to pass on an opportunity of getting to know someone through their great personality due to your hang up of them buying their clothes in a shop/shops that you dont agree with...

There again shallow people arnt really worth knowing as usually their not pepared to expand their minds beyond seeing the natural beauty of a person... meaning they only see what they want to see...

Nothing personal just think its a shame that not everyone is willing to give others an equal opportunity...

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
cash to keep me? gees i wish!!
haha! i keep myself thanks. i just think people should make an effort and not have an entire wardrobe of primark:gag:

Not a personal you! it was said as a whole

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
cash to keep me? gees i wish!!
haha! i keep myself thanks. i just think people should make an effort and not have an entire wardrobe of primark:gag:

:o Thinks i best change my wardrobe... is it too late to write to Santa :?

Originally posted by Angel05
[B]I would say this is a VERY shallow comment... your prepared to pass on an opportunity of getting to know someone through their great personality due to your hang up of them buying their clothes in a shop/shops that you dont agree with...

There again shallow people arnt really worth knowing as usually their not pepared to expand their minds beyond seeing the natural beauty of a person... meaning they only see what they want to see...

/B]
sorry you find its shallow but its true, i think most people would prob agree but wont admit it - as its brutally honest and they are scared of getting a reaction like urs. you dont have to shop at gucci to look nice but u have to set urself a certain standard. otherwise what do we work for? earn money for?
i look a scruff at the weekends or at the gym in my comfy clothes, but when i go out - i dress nice

Originally posted by Angel05
Not a personal you! it was said as a whole
dont get that quote, do you mean ur not being personal - just commenting on my comments? me too xx:D

Originally posted by Angel05
What difference should it make on what clothes people are wearing... or could it be the fact that because the female or Male wearing cheap clothes clearly isnt worth talking to as it proves they just dont have the cash to keep YOU! happy?

I myself always like to look nice when i go out... I unfortunately dont have the money that i'd like to have to spend on clothes... But i make the most of what i do have an havent had any complaints...

May i add this YOU! was not aimed at Natalisheff it was meant as a whole... People not having money so their unable to keep that person happy...

Sorry for any confusion :?

stop being so nice ! bitch at me its ok xx:D

But if you don't take pride in your appearance what does that say about you?? (and don't give me that "your comftable with your look" bs too), if you can't be bothered to put some effort into looking good- does that mean you will put effort into a relationship? I know its compleatly differant but thats what goes on in peoples minds suncontiously(sp)!!!

Put 2 guys together- one that dresses nice in a suit and tie or a nice shirt and smart shoes, and one in old jeans and a t/shirt, a women will most of the time (i said MOST) go for the one in the smart clothing, its just natural for them to go for the one that appears more sucessful.

Originally posted by slimsid2000
Again on the question of shyness, I have found that women in bars/clubs don't bother to come up to me and talk. I suspect that this is usual and it is expected that men make the first move. Am I right in assuming this or do other people have different experiences?

I have in the past spoken first to the opposite sex... there again was that me or the drink! :? :lol:

No seriously... Times are moving on now an it has been known that Women are approaching Men just as much as Men approaching the Women...

If you like someone get talking to them dont let someone else take that opportunity away from you... Although i do agree shyness can be a big stopper in this kinda situation... Take the bull by the horns... What's the worst that can happen...

Originally posted by Scottandandy
But if you don't take pride in your appearance what does that say about you?? (and don't give me that "your comftable with your look" bs too), if you can't be bothered to put some effort into looking good- does that mean you will put effort into a relationship? I know its compleatly differant but thats what goes on in peoples minds suncontiously(sp)!!!

thats true actually my cousin dated a right scruff and he didnt bath or shave or dress properly and no, he just couldnt be bothered with the relationship. so she dumped the guy good riddance. subconsciously i think is how you spell it?!:hihi:

i know i know - im can spell, i just can't be arsed to at the minute ;)

Originally posted by Angel05
I have in the past spoken first to the opposite sex... there again was that me or the drink! :? :lol:


id approach him if hed got prada on:hihi: :hihi:
kidding! i think id find a group of girls approaching me intimidating if i was male though

Originally posted by Angel05
1.I have in the past spoken first to the opposite sex... there again was that me or the drink! :? :lol:

2. Take the bull by the horns... What's the worst that can happen...

1. Probably the drink :hihi:

2. Do you want me to make a list :suspect:

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
totally agreeing with u here regarding starprakle comment - i love clothes and always try to look nice. i appreciate people who make the effort and compliment people on their clothes. im very picky and if you looked like an oasis scrubber i prob wouldnt speak to you!:D
(bracing myself for the comebacks...)

yea i really like women that put a lot of effort into how they look - cool funky hair and dress sense is fine by me
i doubt i'd be able to tell if they've spent loads on clothes but i think it's more obvious when a fella has spent a few quid (and i'm not talking chav tagged stone island clones)

it's funny but ... i used to spend tonnes on stone island, burberry, acquascutum etc as a 'soccer casual' was considered as cool as in late 80's - wouldn't be seen dead in them now!

Originally posted by Bedhead

it's funny but ... i used to spend tonnes on stone island, burberry, acquascutum etc as a 'soccer casual' was considered as cool as in late 80's - wouldn't be seen dead in them now!
ive got a friend who wears all that jazz and he looks a right wassock. bit common really, although i know expensive.

I know it's easy to judge someone on what they wear but it's not the right thing to do and I'm sure all these apparently shallow people realise that deep down.

You can moan all day about what people should and shouldn't wear but it doesn't change the fact that they could be the nicest person in the world, regardless of their wardrobe.

I would imagine it's easy to look nice with a whole wardrobe from say...Primark for example, if you make sure that everything goes together. I bet someone could fool these shallow people if they knew what they were doing.

The question is would they dump the Primark guy/girl when they found out where they shopped? ;)

Originally posted by Pauly
I know it's easy to judge someone on what they wear but it's not the right thing to do and I'm sure all these apparently shallow people realise that deep down.

I don't think people actually 'judge' them on what they wear- they just are more/less attracted to them according to there clothes.

Originally posted by Pauly
I know it's easy to judge someone on what they wear but it's not the right thing to do and I'm sure all these apparently shallow people realise that deep down.

You can moan all day about what people should and shouldn't wear but it doesn't change the fact that they could be the nicest person in the world, regardless of their wardrobe.

I would imagine it's easy to look nice with a whole wardrobe from say...Primark for example, if you make sure that everything goes together. I bet someone could fool these shallow people if they knew what they were doing.

The question is would they dump the Primark guy/girl when they found out where they shopped? ;)
i reckon you can tell a lot about someone by what they wear. and i suppose if ur nice looking u could prob wear a bin bag and look ace.
id rather spend more money and get decent clothes, saying that if a labelled thing is badly sticthed or something i wouldnt buy it for the label. but if i have a choice of primark (sorry mr primark) or designer i know what ill chose.
sorry to C&A fans:gag:
and i would date a primark guy/girl in the 1st place in ans to ur question:D

Originally posted by Scottandandy
I don't think people actually 'judge' them on what they wear- they just are more/less attracted to them according to there clothes.

My initial reaction to this was to say that I don't go for people with designer labels and flashy clothes as IMO they appear shallow, materialistic and very high maintenance but on re-reading I noticed that it completely contradicts my previous post, but in the other direction. :lol: What can I say eh?

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
totally agreeing with u here regarding starprakle comment - i love clothes and always try to look nice. i appreciate people who make the effort and compliment people on their clothes. im very picky and if you looked like an oasis scrubber i prob wouldnt speak to you!:D
(bracing myself for the comebacks...)

Excuse me - I take a great deal of pride in my appearance and I too always try to look nice - even if I'm just going to the local shops.

If I'm going somewhere special, then I make an extra-special effort, with my clothes, my hair, my make-up.

I resent the implication that if you don't spend a ****-load of money on designer clothes, you can't possibly look good. What a lot of c***!

You're making yourself sound very shallow here, NatalieSheff, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to talk to you if that was your attitude

No doubt I'll get a lot of flack now.

StarSparkle

Originally posted by Scottandandy
I don't think people actually 'judge' them on what they wear- they just are more/less attracted to them according to there clothes.

You're attracted to someone because of what they're wearing??!

I think that is UNBELIEVABLY shallow.

StarSparkle :confused:

Originally posted by StarSparkle
You're attracted to someone because of what they're wearing??!

I think that is UNBELIEVABLY shallow.

StarSparkle :confused:

Until you actually get to talk to someone all you have to go on is the way they look, so the way they look will either attract you to find out more or not. The guy with the long beard, stained vest tatty trainers and BO might be a nice guy, but no-one is going to try and find out becasue the way he looks doesn't attract them.

Yes first impressions do count Nick2 but I think you're going to an extreme there matey. :lol:

Originally posted by StarSparkle
Excuse me - I take a great deal of pride in my appearance and I too always try to look nice - even if I'm just going to the local shops.

If I'm going somewhere special, then I make an extra-special effort, with my clothes, my hair, my make-up.

I resent the implication that if you don't spend a ****-load of money on designer clothes, you can't possibly look good. What a lot of c***!

You're making yourself sound very shallow here, NatalieSheff, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to talk to you if that was your attitude

No doubt I'll get a lot of flack now.

StarSparkle

Why should you get alot of flack StarSparkle...

I have been thinking exactly what you have said above... I beleive that Nataliesheff is making herself sound very shallow indeed... an have already thought should this really be this person's true personality showing in this thread then i for one would certainly stay well clear should i be a member of the opposite sex!

I personally have no time for Shallow minded people...

Unfotunately my Sister is very much into her designer labels etc... an would'nt give what i would call 'Everyday living people' the time of day... When i first moved to Sheffield she tried to change me... caused many arguments... but she had to realise i am me and no one will change that... :)

For example: I went out shopping with my sister i had a pair of scholls bought from an everyday shoe outlet... We walked into a very expensive shoe shop... I tried a shoe on... it was lovely... turned round to get my sisters opinion of what she thought of the shoe on my foot... as i turned my head...i noticed she had my scholl in her hand... I asked her what she was doing... 'I'm removing the label from your scholl' she was horified that i had worn such a cheap pair of scholls into an expensive shoe shop... I couldnt believe what i was hearing... Are we restricted into where we can and cant shop for our shoes? :?

At first i thought it was funny... but then it turned to anger... My own sister embarrassed to be seen out with me... That hurt...

Originally posted by Scottandandy
But if you don't take pride in your appearance what does that say about you?? (and don't give me that "your comftable with your look" bs too), if you can't be bothered to put some effort into looking good- does that mean you will put effort into a relationship?
Hmm... only problem with a statement like that is that peoples interpretations vary from :

a) the "never washes, brushes teeth, no clean clothes" variety of scruff

to...

b) the "wears jeans and a t-shirt a lot, doesn't always shave" type.


Some people see type (a) as a natual application of what you're saying while others see type (b) as just as bad... Personally I fit quite happily into the type (b) variety most of the time, but if I'm out for a night on the town, to a party or just something a bit special then I'm going to make more of an effort.

Normally when I'm just out with friends though I want to feel comfortable so jeans and a T-shirt are pretty normal... Why people go to all the trouble of dolling themselves when it's uncomfortable and results in blisters or constantly fixing some top that keeps falling down, well.. it's beyond me... especially the blokes!! :D

I do see the point of this whole "first impressions" thing but at the same time... a comfortable, shining smile has to be a good thing :) ... heh, perhaps I'm just getting old.. ;)

Originally posted by Angel05
Why should you get alot of flack StarSparkle...

I have been thinking exactly what you have said above... I beleive that Nataliesheff is making herself sound very shallow indeed... an have already thought should this really be this person's true personality showing in this thread then i for one would certainly stay well clear should i be a member of the opposite sex!

I personally have no time for Shallow minded people...

Unfotunately my Sister is very much into her designer labels etc... an would'nt give what i would call 'Everyday living people' the time of day... When i first moved to Sheffield she tried to change me... Caused many arguments... but she had to realise i am me and no one will change that... :)

For example: I went out shopping with my sister i had a pair of scholls bought from an everyday shoe outlet... We walked into a very expensive shoe shop... I tried a shoe on... it was lovely... turned round to get my sisters opinion of what she thought of the shoe on my foot... as i turned my head...i noticed she had my scholl in her hand... I asked her what she was doing... 'I'm removing the label from your scholl' she was horified that i had worn such a cheap pair of scholls into an expensive shoe shop... I couldnt believe what i was hearing... Are we restricted into where we can and cant shop for our shoes? :?

At first i thought it was funny... but then it turned to anger... My own sister embarrassed to be seen out with me... That hurt...

Thanks for the support, Angel05 - I thought I might get flack from the 'designer-clones' on here, as there seems to be a lot of them and they're very loud!

Personally, I can't understand why the make of clothes a person wears is so important to some people. If they make you look and feel good, and you feel happy and confident in them, surely that is what matters?

I simply don't get this thing about being attracted to someone cos of what they're wearing. OK, first impressions count - but what I notice first about someone is the way they carry themselves, the way they move, whether they've got a 'nice' face (ok that's very subjective), but mostly I notice their eyes. Even from a distance, you can tell a lot about a person from their eyes (although close up is better, lol!)

I can honestly say I barely notice what someone's wearing, unless it's something with a huge logo on it, that's screaming so loudly at me I can't miss it.

Anyway, cheers again, Angel05.

StarSparkle :thumbsup:

I don't think any less of people that wear clothes different to the clothes I wear (regardless of price)..

Personally I like wearing desginer clothes.. I'm not about to try to pursuade you people to like them as much as me, or to try and justify me wearing them.. but I do expect people not to judge me for wearing desinger clothes, the same as you don't want to be judged for not wearing desginger clothes. End of.

GazB

Originally posted by GazB
I don't think any less of people that wear clothes different to the clothes I wear (regardless of price)..

Personally I like wearing desginer clothes.. I'm not about to try to pursuade you people to like them as much as me, or to try and justify me wearing them.. but I do expect people not to judge me for wearing desinger clothes, the same as you don't want to be judged for not wearing desginger clothes. End of.

GazB

I wouldnt judge a person on the clothes 'they choose to wear... the point that i am trying to get across is that people shouldnt be looked upon any differently just because of the clothes they happen to be dressed in...

Because a person is dressed in designer clothes doesnt make the next person in cheaper clothes appear any less attractive... well to the shallow minded people maybe...

Originally posted by StarSparkle
Thanks for the support, Angel05 - I thought I might get flack from the 'designer-clones' on here, as there seems to be a lot of them and they're very loud!

Personally, I can't understand why the make of clothes a person wears is so important to some people. If they make you look and feel good, and you feel happy and confident in them, surely that is what matters?

I simply don't get this thing about being attracted to someone cos of what they're wearing. OK, first impressions count - but what I notice first about someone is the way they carry themselves, the way they move, whether they've got a 'nice' face (ok that's very subjective), but mostly I notice their eyes. Even from a distance, you can tell a lot about a person from their eyes (although close up is better, lol!)

I can honestly say I barely notice what someone's wearing, unless it's something with a huge logo on it, that's screaming so loudly at me I can't miss it.

Anyway, cheers again, Angel05.

StarSparkle :thumbsup:

Your welcome...

Its nice to see that there are some people living in the real world... Not being swept away with Madonna... :wink:

In a Material World... :)

If money can buy it... its not worth having! Best things in life are free...

If this has been said - apollogies (not read all 900 pages of replies)... Good thread though!
It can run deeper than appearances ie; social backgrounds.
Would the heir to the Sainsbury group be happy shacking up with a chav & the Chav family Robinson in tow?
Imagine the state of the estate after the
wedding BBQ & obligatory punch up!
-Even if said chav was a very handsome chav/ chavette
(highly unlikely I know:hihi: )
Or is the chav out-of-the-league?:suspect:

Originally posted by StarSparkle

Personally, I can't understand why the make of clothes a person wears is so important to some people. If they make you look and feel good, and you feel happy and confident in them, surely that is what matters?

StarSparkle :thumbsup:

And well fitted/cut clothes make me feel like that and they normally come at a price - i don't wear stuff that has a big phat label across the front i go for stuff that looks cool and you normally have to pay for that but i also wear cheapo second hand stuff - i definately don't look down on people for what they're wearing though but rather appreciate somebody that i think looks good and that generally extends to what they're wearing, the way there hair is cut etc

Originally posted by Bedhead
And well fitted/cut clothes make me feel like that and they normally come at a price - i don't wear stuff that has a big phat label across the front i go for stuff that looks cool and you normally have to pay for that but i also wear cheapo second hand stuff - i definately don't look down on people for what they're wearing though but rather appreciate somebody that i think looks good and that generally extends to what they're wearing, the way there hair is cut etc

I really don't agree that well cut clothes that look good on you generally come at a price. The obsession with "fashion" tends to mean that you are not paying for the quality of the clothing, but the fashionability.

A lot of our clothing is manufactured in SE asian sweat shops and the manufacturing costs are generally quite similar (and very very small in comparison to the pricethat they are sold for)

To dress well you need to know what suits you, and be prepared to spend time looking for it.

The cut of clothes can also vary from shop to shop... In one shop i can be 1 size yet in another i could be a slightly bigger size...

There again it does depend on where you shop... as long as i feel comfortable and look good in the outfit i dont mind that i have had to maybe go up a size... I know its due to the cut and not weight gain! ( just cut the labels out :wink: )

Could be a different story after crimbo :lol:

Originally posted by Pauly
I would imagine it's easy to look nice with a whole wardrobe from say...Primark for example, if you make sure that everything goes together. I bet someone could fool these shallow people if they knew what they were doing.

The question is would they dump the Primark guy/girl when they found out where they shopped? ;)

On some TV shows they have models wearing High Fashion clothes to High street fashion clothes... This is to show that you dont need spend all your money to create that 'Just walked off the cat walk' look!

Magazines have been known to run quizes too to see which outfit you think cost the most... I have been fooled on that many a time...

So it just shows that fashion 'can' be found on the high street :)

wow did i miss a lot on here! i must apologise for my shallow mind and the fact that i appreciate nice clothes and looking smart, please excuse me for making an effort and not looking like a tramp. i must also apologise for not shopping at primark, mark one and c&a. Long Live Tesco Clothes:D

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
wow did i miss a lot on here! i must apologise for my shallow mind and the fact that i appreciate nice clothes and looking smart, please excuse me for making an effort and not looking like a tramp. i must also apologise for not shopping at primark, mark one and c&a. Long Live Tesco Clothes:D

There is no need to appologise for saying what you think.

The problem is that because some people think designer clothes are a waste of money (which they probably are, I agree, thats what fashion is about) they have decided that anyone who wears them must be shallow and superficial, whereas they (in their arorak and "sensible" shoes no doubt) are above all this trivia, see the inner beauty in people, and would probably get married in a pair of dungarees.

I would love to know where people who don't wear designer clothes actually shop, as all clothes are designer to some degree, just that the designer might not be "famous" and the clothes might not be expensive, you could actually count the clothes sold in Asda as designer.

Originally posted by nick2
There is no need to appologise for saying what you think.

The problem is that because some people think designer clothes are a waste of money (which they probably are, I agree, thats what fashion is about) they have decided that anyone who wears them must be shallow and superficial, whereas they (in their arorak and "sensible" shoes no doubt) are above all this trivia, see the inner beauty in people, and would probably get married in a pair of dungarees.

I would love to know where people who don't wear designer clothes actually shop, as all clothes are designer to some degree, just that the designer might not be "famous" and the clothes might not be expensive, you could actually count the clothes sold in Asda as designer.

:thumbsup:

i agree - i'm not shallow or superficial just because i spend £200 on a vivienne westwood top! a bit stooopid most probably! and anyhow the concept of fashion is flawed

and don't knock dungarees - they're making a comeback! :D

Originally posted by nick2
There is no need to appologise for saying what you think.

The problem is that because some people think designer clothes are a waste of money ....... just that the designer might not be "famous" and the clothes might not be expensive, you could actually count the clothes sold in Asda as designer.
cheers big ears xx im sure if these people had the money they prob would buy trendy clothes, im sure when i have children my shopping habits will change! funny you should mention wedding clothes, as i spent a fortune on mine and felt a million dollars and dont regret it for a second!
I do find myslef sercretly redressing people i see out, i do think im triny and sue sometimes:D

Originally posted by Bedhead
:thumbsup:

i agree - i'm not shallow or superficial just because i spend £200 on a vivienne westwood top! a bit stooopid most probably! and anyhow the concept of fashion is flawed

and don't knock dungarees - they're making a comeback! :D
just done a similar thing on a new coat and jeans hehe!

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
cheers big ears xx im sure if these people had the money they prob would buy trendy clothes, im sure when i have children my shopping habits will change! funny you should mention wedding clothes, as i spent a fortune on mine and felt a million dollars and dont regret it for a second!
I do find myslef sercretly redressing people i see out, i do think im triny and sue sometimes:D

Am I one of "these people"?

How do you feel you are in a position to judge on my finances? You seem to be saying "I'm sure everyone would have the same outlook and views as me, if they had the opportunity"

Originally posted by Yodameister
Am I one of "these people"?

How do you feel you are in a position to judge on my finances? You seem to be saying "I'm sure everyone would have the same outlook and views as me, if they had the opportunity"
im sure peoplew ould have different choices if they could. you may be one of those people yes, i do it too lots of people and im sure people do it to me too. someone who wears gucci all the time prob would turn their nose at me. if i had the money, yes id buy gucci all the time.
anyway, everyone judges, whether they admit it or not, how many people have said i have shallow views? thats their judgement or opinion and i respect that

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
wow did i miss a lot on here! i must apologise for my shallow mind and the fact that i appreciate nice clothes and looking smart, please excuse me for making an effort and not looking like a tramp. i must also apologise for not shopping at primark, mark one and c&a. Long Live Tesco Clothes:D

You can shop where you like no one is holding that against you... People are just stating fact that just because a person doesnt wear desinger labels doesnt mean they dont take pride in their looks... simply means they maybe they cant afford to wear expensive getup... due to responsibilities such as families mortgages rent household bills etc... or could be that their job isnt a high earner... dont hold things against people who maybe a little less fortunate than yourself....

I certainly dont have money to buy the clothes i would like to treat myself to now and again... this doesnt mean i go round looking like a 'Tramp' as you so call it... I take great pride in my appearance... I dont need the expensive globber!

Give people a little credit & understanding...

I don't think being fashionable has to involve a huge amount of money, almost every fashionable "look" can be done on a small budget, as almost every shop sells the same stuff anyway and only the price varies it's just a case of shopping around.

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
im sure peoplew ould have different choices if they could. you may be one of those people yes, i do it too lots of people and im sure people do it to me too. someone who wears gucci all the time prob would turn their nose at me. if i had the money, yes id buy gucci all the time.
anyway, everyone judges, whether they admit it or not, how many people have said i have shallow views? thats their judgement or opinion and i respect that

I don't think I've said you are shallow, and if I have I apologise because I don't think "name calling" is really a very good idea in a discussion forum.

What I didn't like was you making judgements about particular people based on no evidence (I'm sure I am guilty of this sometimes too)

If I thought that people were turning their nose up at me because I was wearing the clothes I was I would not be motivated to do what they think I should, if anything I would be motivated in the other direction.

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
cheers big ears xx im sure if these people had the money they prob would buy trendy clothes, im sure when i have children my shopping habits will change! funny you should mention wedding clothes, as i spent a fortune on mine and felt a million dollars and dont regret it for a second!
I do find myslef sercretly redressing people i see out, i do think im triny and sue sometimes:D

i don't think that having loads of money means you buy/don't buy trendy clothes - for me it's not about the money i spend on something but how it looks on me - god i sound like a grrrrrrrrrl now

'Do you like my tight sweater see how it fits'

Originally posted by nick2
I don't think being fashionable has to involve a huge amount of money, almost every fashionable "look" can be done on a small budget, as almost every shop sells the same stuff anyway and only the price varies it's just a case of shopping around.

Thank you...

This is exactly what i do... shop around... for a good deal... i like to think that i move with the times... Just because i shop in cheaper shops doesnt mean i dont look the part...

Originally posted by Bedhead
:thumbsup:

i agree - i'm not shallow or superficial just because i spend £200 on a vivienne westwood top! a bit stooopid most probably! and anyhow the concept of fashion is flawed

and don't knock dungarees - they're making a comeback! :D

If you have the money then i agree spend it on what you like... but what i cant stand is people shoving it down others necks when they dont even have the right amount of money to even live on... £200 that would mean a hell of a lot to me... Rent an a bit of food shopping...

Dungarees... i used to love mine... not designer tho :( sorry!

im sorry did someone at work give me a raise? im not on good money an di do have huge mortgage and bills like everyone else, but like i said my priorities are different. im not telling everyone to wear designer, im telling people to make an effort - 1st impressions?!?!
bedhead - i bet it looks ace!
plus the fact that you can always buy "designer" from cheap shops like TKMAX so its not always about the money.
im not name calling like some of you are, im stating how i and lots of people feel. its the brutal truth - sorry to offend
angel - i didnt call you a tramp, it was general, as a whole xx:D

Originally posted by Bedhead
:thumbsup:

i agree - i'm not shallow or superficial just because i spend £200 on a vivienne westwood top! a bit stooopid most probably! and anyhow the concept of fashion is flawed

and don't knock dungarees - they're making a comeback! :D

If you have the money then i agree spend it on what you like... but what i cant stand is people shoving it down others necks when they dont even have the right amount of money to even live on... £200 that would mean a hell of a lot to me... Rent an a bit of food shopping...

Dungarees... i used to love mine... not designer tho :( sorry!

Originally posted by Angel05
If you have the money then i agree spend it on what you like... but what i cant stand is people shoving it down others necks when they dont even have the right amount of money to even live on... £200 that would mean a hell of a lot to me... Rent an a bit of food shopping...

Dungarees... i used to love mine... not designer tho :( sorry!

£200 means a lot to me too! i'm 20k+ in debt thanks to 5 years of study - that's why i said i'm a bit stoooopid :D

i've always been like that though when it comes to clothes - i was a bricklayer for 10 years so hardly flush but i used to always buy designer labels - i was a reyt clone back then (am not suggesting that i am now! hence the flawed comment above)

anyhow, i digress - i'm sure your dungarees looked fab! i remember wearing a pair back in the old acid house days i painted loads of weird stuff all over them - they were ace! :thumbsup:

you should see what ive done to a pair of old firetrap jeans - the comfiest ever, but i painted in them. couldnt throw away - too nice, so attacked them with bleach! they look ace and the amount of positive comments i get is ace. yves saint laurent eat ur heart out!!

Originally posted by Bedhead
anyhow, i digress - i'm sure your dungarees looked fab! i remember wearing a pair back in the old acid house days i painted loads of weird stuff all over them - they were ace! :thumbsup:

Yeah defo... especially when i cut the legs to 3 quarter length and splattered them with pink paint... never was good at decorating lol :)

But anyway back to the thread...

Back to the thread, I would say that if you rate people based on the labels on their clothes, then I am out of your league!

Originally posted by Yodameister
Back to the thread, I would say that if you rate people based on the labels on their clothes, then I am out of your league!

I think that would go for a fair few people...

So does this conclude it then... There is a 'League!' after all :o :lol:

above it or below it??:D
i think prince william is outta my league :hihi:

The point I'm making is that the League I believe in is based on your personal qualities.

Looks form a part of that, but not that big a part in who you would stand a chance of pulling.

Originally posted by Yodameister
The point I'm making is that the League I believe in is based on your personal qualities.

Looks form a part of that, but not that big a part in who you would stand a chance of pulling.

Agreed i think a League is based more on personal qualities than anything else...

I feel that should a person be out with their friends on a night out an that person were to show confidence in the way they held themselves in the way they smiled freely etc... that person wouldnt have a problem in pulling...

Confidence has alot to answer for :) its a shame more people in the world dont have it... :(

its amazing how much prettier/handsome people are with a smile, it makes the world of difference

Originally posted by Angel05
Confidence has alot to answer for :) its a shame more people in the world dont have it... :(

True, it's so-called friends saying things like "their out of your league" that destroys peoples confidence in the first place.

thats awful, my friends are all absolutely gorgoeus so they never have that problem.:D

I just take no notice of my mates, I'll have a go at getting anyone into bed.

:0)

Time-Tested Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone ...

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed and redeemed and redeemed. Never throw out anybody. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

Sam Levenson

Originally posted by Jamie
Time-Tested Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone ...

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed and redeemed and redeemed. Never throw out anybody. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

Sam Levenson

How true... :) lovely words by Sam Levenson...

Originally posted by Jamie
Time-Tested Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone ...

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed and redeemed and redeemed. Never throw out anybody. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

Sam Levenson

Bleeeuuuk (sticks fingers down throat).

http://b3ta.com/questions/badtaste/post19544/
i wish my bloke dressed like this

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
im sure peoplew ould have different choices if they could. you may be one of those people yes, i do it too lots of people and im sure people do it to me too. someone who wears gucci all the time prob would turn their nose at me. if i had the money, yes id buy gucci all the time.
anyway, everyone judges, whether they admit it or not, how many people have said i have shallow views? thats their judgement or opinion and i respect that

I feel sorry for you, NatalieSheff, if your confidence is so low that you need to rely entirely on what you wear to provide it for you. If wearing Gucci all the time is the only way you feel you'll receive respect from people, or be prepared to give respect to other people on that basis, you live in a very sad little world.

The more you say on here, the more shallow you prove yourself to be.

I can only hope you never fall ill and can't work for a while, or otherwise fall on hard times, so you're forced to buy clothes for 'scrubbers' at Oasis or wherever. Poor you!

For the record, I have never shopped in my life at Primark, Mark One, TJ Hughes or whatever - not saying I wouldn't, I just haven't. I could afford to buy designer clothes if I wanted to (and have occasionally in the past, to mix and match with my other clothes), I just happen to have other priorities. Despite the severe handicap of having to shop at 'high street stores', I still manage to look good, if I say so myself.

Grow up and get real - there are FAR, FAR more important things in this world than designer clothes - why don't you try rating people on personal qualities like kindness, intelligence, integrity, honesty,etc?

Of course, you can't buy those qualities, can you ......

StarSparkle

in reply to star sparkle

here we go again......

dont need ur pity honey, my confidence is fine. I LIKE MY CLOTHES! and its not particually gucci, it would be nice to have the money to buy fancy clothes like that, is what im saying. my world is far from sad and quite entertaining.

stop being so self rightous and horrid, as a woman u should know we like to look nice or try to look nice for ourselves mostly.

i also hope i dont fall ill again, as i have been in the past and outta of work, but luckily have enough clothes to owww just get me thru the day....
i didnt say oasis was a scrubbers shop, i said look like oasis, as in the band - read my posts properly if ur gonna to comment

why say you have never shopped at primark? is that an appearance thing? dont want people to think u do, as ur commenting on me like this? ego perhaps?

i am quite grown up thank you, please feel free to take ur own advice.
there are more important things to buying nice clothes - maybe you should read my other threads.
yes im very kind, very intellegent and BRUTALLY honest

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
yes im very kind, very intellegent and BRUTALLY honest

And very contradictive :suspect:

You have your opinions, people have theirs :D

Before demeaning people pay a little respect, doesn't hurt much :)

Originally posted by Deejay
And very contradictive :suspect:

You have your opinions, people have theirs :D

Before demeaning people pay a little respect, doesn't hurt much :)
sweetie did you read the previous post?? i think not! ive tried to be very nice including in pms and all im getting is abuse! dont get why ur saying im contradictive though:(
king intelligent and honest and many other nice things
like ive said b4 lots of time, i respect people ops, just wish they would mine

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
sweetie did you read the previous post?? i think not! ive tried to be very nice including in pms and all im getting is abuse! dont get why ur saying im contradictive though:(
king intelligent and honest and many other nice things
like ive said b4 lots of time, i respect people ops, just wish they would mine

Natalie it wasn't a dig mate... You just seem to say one thing then in the next sentance it kinda makes your previous post sound completely the opposite, maybe Im reading it wrong :? (Not going to make references cos I'd be doing a lot of reading :gag: )

:)

Originally posted by Deejay
Natalie it wasn't a dig mate... You just seem to say one thing then in the next sentance it kinda makes your previous post sound completely the opposite, maybe Im reading it wrong :? (Not going to make references cos I'd be doing a lot of reading :gag: )

:)
dont even know how we got onto this from original thread?! but dont worry about digging at me, i enjoy it really!:gag:
i prob do contradict myself - what can i say, im female - constantly changin my mind:hihi:
maybe some people take things a little to heart when they shouldn't
but i know ur a nicey dont worry:D

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
sweetie did you read the previous post?? i think not! ive tried to be very nice including in pms and all im getting is abuse! dont get why ur saying im contradictive though:(
king intelligent and honest and many other nice things
like ive said b4 lots of time, i respect people ops, just wish they would mine

Perhaps you don't realise how disrespectful you are to people, NatalieSheff? eg calling people 'sweetie' in that way in postings is NOT respectful. It doesn't cost anything to show courtesy.

Good manners are a sign of class that wearing Gucci simply because you have the money to, can't compete with.

I've nothing further to say to you.

StarSparkle

Originally posted by StarSparkle
Perhaps you don't realise how disrespectful you are to people, NatalieSheff? eg calling people 'sweetie' in that way in postings is NOT respectful. It doesn't cost anything to show courtesy.

Good manners are a sign of class that Gucci can't compete with.

I've nothing further to say to you.

StarSparkle
girl youve got issues, yes with me. i call most people sweetie, maybe its a sheffield thing. i bet u call people love, maybe honey, or even duck:o
i have very good manners and to be quite hionest i find you rather rude.
lets leave it there or i could go on forever and its not what this thread is about
thank you

This is getting way off subject and seems to be turning into a debate about different types of clothes.

As I mentioned before, I am shy about approaching girls in bars/clubs. One reason for this is that I don't really know what I would say if I did go and talk to them.

Does anyone have any good tips on the type of thing to say in such a situation. By the way, I don't mean chat up lines which I find corny and would never have the confidence to say anyway. I mean a genuinely good way to break the ice and get talking to a girl.

Originally posted by slimsid2000
This is getting way off subject and seems to be turning into a debate about different types of clothes.

As I mentioned before, I am shy about approaching girls in bars/clubs. One reason for this is that I don't really know what I would say if I did go and talk to them.

Does anyone have any good tips on the type of thing to say in such a situation. By the way, I don't mean chat up lines which I find corny and would never have the confidence to say anyway. I mean a genuinely good way to break the ice and get talking to a girl.

Good question.

Sometimes I can just do it absolutely no problem, and other times I can't even imagine how I would ever go and talk to someone I don't know.

I'm really not the expert on this so not really sure why I am trying to advise you, BUT for what its worth, I do tend to just open up with very obvious things like asking if they are having a good time, who they are out with (eg mates or work, or whatever), if they are a student or what they do for a job.

Then hopefully one of those questions will prompt something a bit more interesting to talk about, like maybe you have something in common, like similar interests, similar job, that sort of thing.

I think the best thing to remember is "what is the worst that can happen" and if you can survive that then go for it!

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
girl youve got issues, yes with me. i call most people sweetie, maybe its a sheffield thing. i bet u call people love, maybe honey, or even duck:o
i have very good manners and to be quite hionest i find you rather rude.
lets leave it there or i could go on forever and its not what this thread is about
thank you

Ha, ha - you really are funny, sweetie. If you knew me, you'd realise just how ridiculous what you're saying is.

I have more dignity than to brawl in public, however, so I'll leave it there.

Apologies to the other Forum users for going off-topic - it won't happen again.

StarSparkle

ohhh arguements all over!

well i dont consider myself attractive and i have NO confidence with girls. yet i get on better with girls then any of my mates. i dont care about peoples clothes (less the better? hahaha joke)

but people do base a LOT on first impressions and this is one of the saddest things. You need to talk to someone to know them and if some below average looking bloke comes up to you when your with your mates and trys to talk to you the only thought in your mind will be `oh my god, please go away'

For some reason I can't understand I tend to "pull" women a lot, perhaps I give out a "safe" vibe ?

My mates hate me.

Originally posted by nick2
For some reason I can't understand I tend to "pull" women a lot, perhaps I give out a "safe" vibe ?

My mates hate me.

How much is "a lot"?

And what proportion of them are "in your league"?!

Originally posted by Yodameister
How much is "a lot"?

And what proportion of them are "in your league"?!

By "pull" I mean "get talking to", and it happens probably every other time I go out, I think I'm just very friendly. I can't say if they are in my league or not as I prefer blokes, but aparantly some of them are "fit" ?

Originally posted by nick2
By "pull" I mean "get talking to", and it happens probably every other time I go out, I think I'm just very friendly. I can't say if they are in my league or not as I prefer blokes, but aparantly some of them are "fit" ?

Well I'd guess not in your league then! (not even playing the same sport!)

Out of interest there must be able to spot when a woman is physically attractive, even if you don't feel it yourself. There's some qualities like "sexiness" which is a bit more of a subconcious/personal thing which I guess you wouldn't be able to see, but just physical attractiveness I would have thought you could spot.

Originally posted by Yodameister
Well I'd guess not in your league then! (not even playing the same sport!)

Out of interest there must be able to spot when a woman is physically attractive, even if you don't feel it yourself. There's some qualities like "sexiness" which is a bit more of a subconcious/personal thing which I guess you wouldn't be able to see, but just physical attractiveness I would have thought you could spot.
Huge norks!!!!!

Originally posted by Yodameister
Well I'd guess not in your league then! (not even playing the same sport!)

Out of interest there must be able to spot when a woman is physically attractive, even if you don't feel it yourself. There's some qualities like "sexiness" which is a bit more of a subconcious/personal thing which I guess you wouldn't be able to see, but just physical attractiveness I would have thought you could spot.

Oh yeah, I think some women are very attractive, but like you say they don't turn me on.
One of my straight mates was telling me that guys notice who the good looking guys are in a room (checking out the the opposition) they just don't point and say "that guy is realy cute".

i think its healthy to be aware of people around you and how they look, and i think people are lying if they say they dont find both sexes attractive. everyone has something nice about them, even the mardy ones:D
i dont mind apporaching girls and asking them about clothes or hairdressers or whatever, thats what toilet banter is all about - sticking together and laughing at ourselves.
Not sure about "pulling" though, thats a horrid word. a smile says thousand words and sometimes thats all a girl needs.
To start a conversation with a potential girlfriend, errr! maybe take the mickey out of yourself or one on your friend - obviously in a nice cute way, not b****y;) - maybe notice something she has done or made effort with. i think most guys love eye contact - maybe when your talking to your friends but looking at her and smiling - sort of losing ocncentration on what your friend is saying.
i dunno, it seems like a game you have to play but i guess if you really like them, it will come natural

The trouble is I tend to be on my own in these sort of situations. Although i have friends they don't tend to be the sort of people who want to go out to meet girls (not leaast because most of them are already in relationships.)

Originally posted by slimsid2000
The trouble is I tend to be on my own in these sort of situations. Although i have friends they don't tend to be the sort of people who want to go out to meet girls (not leaast because most of them are already in relationships.)

Sid, I am absolutely hopeless when I am out with mates, far far better when I'm on my own.

When I'm with mates they are a lot more confident than me and do the points scoring off me a bit - not in a nasty way, but I just don't like it.

When I'm on my own its like I can sort of 'pretend' that I'm a lot more confident than I am - I can be a lot more outgoing when there's noone around that I know.

There's no real logic behind it, I know, but its just the way I am.

I dont think there is a league of such.

I just think it comes down to whether you have the balls to go up to someone and ask them out for a drink or talk to them.

No messing about- if you dont ask - you dont get!

I met the missus over the internet and at first sight I would have said that she was well out of my league.. but when I got to know her I knew straight away that she was my soulmate- everything just clicks.