Just a silly, throwaway thread:

Any suggestions for a phrase everyone should get the opportunity to use at least once in their life?

"I'm with the band"

"Follow that car!"

"It's illegal, it's immoral, and it makes you fat!"

StarSparkle :D

So what if your a mod? You're still a ****wit!

Lets see how long that lasts!!

"You've got a cracking job, house, car and shedloads of cash - Just how small is you weiner then..." :hihi:

BTW - I've managed to say 'Follow that car" at least once in my life but can't remember what the context was.

"If that Bill Gates calls again, tell him I don't want to buy Microosft off him."

"Do you take cash?" (With a 'Wayne's World' glint in your eye)

Some years back I bought Mrs P. a piece of jewellery from Tiffany's in London. I ALMOST asked them if I could get some breakfast....but common sense and the presence of a large security guard prevailed.

Joe

"You're fired!" :rant:

"You've decided it was a bad idea to sleep with him while we were seeing each other and you're begging me to take you back? ...

Hmmm.. I don't think so!"

:thumbsup:

"have you got a light mac?"

"no, but I've got a dark brown overcoat".

When someone says something pointless, eg- I bought a paper this morning..

"What do you want me to do? Stand on my hands and $h!t mars bars?"

"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse"

I'll use it some day

:evil:

Originally posted by coopster1974
So what if your a mod? You're still a ****wit!

"You're banned coopster1974!" :clap:

I'd like to do the Christopher walken scfen of true romance.

The one with the :

We're gonna have a little Q and A and at the risk of sounding redundant please make your answers genuine!

That scene is one of the coolest parts of a film ever!

:D

"Of course your identicle twin sister can join us, it is pretty cold in the spare room"

"If I had all the money I had spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink"

there - done it!

and


"baby, your so far ahead of me, it's beautiful"

"You can take your job and shove it up your arse"

"Why yes I did win the lottery jackpot last week, kind of you to ask"

'Soon the world will be mine... all mine... mwaaa ha ha haaaar'


'Heh... honey... we just won the lottery'


'Can't tonight, milla jovovich is coming over'

Originally posted by Lickable
'Soon the world will be mine... all mine... mwaaa ha ha haaaar'

Have to admit I say this quite often...

Everybody be cool this is a robbery! any of you f***** p****s move and I'll execute every muthaf****** last one of you!!

fair to say it didn't have the same effects in Greggs bakery.

I've always wanted to shout "release the hounds" when someone is trying to flog me something on the doorstep.

I would like to use "I'll see you in hell" (said very slowly through clenched teeth) or "You'll be hearing from my lawyer", especially when I'm talking to the bank.

Originally posted by Agent Dan
"You can take your job and shove it up your arse"


I actually said this once, as near as dammit, and it felt fantastic!!

The next few years were a bit difficult though...... :D

StarSparkle :thumbsup:

Originally posted by StarSparkle
I actually said this once, as near as dammit, and it felt fantastic!!

The next few years were a bit difficult though...... :D

StarSparkle :thumbsup:
i have done that too its ace! and l felt wonderful!

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
i have done that too its ace! and l felt wonderful!

That makes three of us then and I quite agree - for me it was a great relief at the time!

especially when you find out one of the bosses got sacked and is still looking hahahahahaha and i heard the company going down hahahaha

Originally posted by Fowler
I'd like to do the Christopher walken scfen of true romance.

The one with the :

We're gonna have a little Q and A and at the risk of sounding redundant please make your answers genuine!

That scene is one of the coolest parts of a film ever!

:D

my favourite monologue ever!!

"when you get to the gates of heaven tell them that you never saw evil so personified as in the face of you killer...........you can comfort yourself with the fact that you never had a choice"

Classic

Originally posted by bonny
my favourite monologue ever!!

"when you get to the gates of heaven tell them that you never saw evil so personified as in the face of you killer...........you can comfort yourself with the fact that you never had a choice"

Classic

Totally. I would love to say that to someone.

I also like the speech about the moors and the scillians!

Originally posted by Fowler
Totally. I would love to say that to someone.

I also like the speech about the moors and the scillians!

It all goes a little something like this; (i apologise to those who don't appreciate this monologue)

Here is the link if you prefer http://right-thinking.com/index.php/weblog/comments/youre_part_eggplant/


COCCOTTI
Do you know who I am, Mr. Worley?

CLIFF
I give up. Who are you?

COCCOTTI
I’m the Anti-Christ. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. You tell the angels in heaven that you had never seen pure evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you. My name is Vincenzo Coccotti. I work as a counsel for Mr. Blue Lou Boyle, the man your son stole from. I hear you were once a cop so I assume you’ve heard of us before. Am I correct?

CLIFF
I’ve heard of Blue Lou Boyle.

COCCOTTI
I’m glad. Hopefully that will clear up the how-full-of-s***-I-am question you’ve been asking yourself. Now, we’re gonna have a little Q and A, and, at the risk of sounding redundant, please make your answers genuine.

(taking out a pack of Chesterfields)

Want a Chesterfield?

CLIFF
No.

COCCOTTI

(as he lights up)

I have a son of my own. About you boy’s age. I can imagine how painful this must be for you. But Clarence and that b****-whore girlfriend of his brought this all on themselves. And I implore you not to go down the road with ‘em. You can always take comfort in the fact that you never had a choice.

CLIFF
Look, I’d help ya if I could, but I haven’t seen Clarence.

Before Cliff can finish his sentence, Coccotti slams him hard in the nose with his fist.

COCCOTTI
Smarts, don’t it? Gettin’ slammed in the nose f***s you all up. You got that pain shootin’ through your brain. Your eyes fill up with water. It ain’t any kind of fun. But what I have to offer you. That’s as good as it’s ever gonna get, and it won’t ever get that good again. We talked to your neighbors. They saw a Mustang, a red Mustang, Clarence’s red Mustang, parked in front of your trailer yesterday. Mr. Worley, have you seen your son?

Cliff’s defeated.

CLIFF
I’ve seen him.

COCCOTTI
Now I can’t be sure of how much of what he told you. So in the chance you’re in the dark about some of this, let me shed some light. That whore your boy hangs around with, her pimp is an associate of mine, and I don’t just mean pimpin’, in other affairs he works for me in a courier capacity. Well, apparently, that dirty little whore found out when we’re gonna do some business, ‘cause your son, the cowboy and his flame, came in the room blastin’ and didn’t stop till they were pretty sure everybody was dead.

CLIFF
What are you talkin’ about?

COCCOTTI
I’m talkin’ about a massacre. They snatched my narcotics and hightailed it outta there. Wouldda gotten away with it, but your son, f***head that he is, left his driver’s license in a dead guy’s hand. A whore hiding in the commode filled in all the blanks.

CLIFF
I don’t believe you.

COCCOTTI
That’s of minor importance. But what’s of major f*****’ importance is that I believe you. Where did they go?

CLIFF
On their honeymoon.

COCCOTTI
I’m gettin’ angry askin’ the same question a second time. Where did they go?

CLIFF
They didn’t tell me.

Coccotti looks at him.

CLIFF
Now, wait a minute and listen. I haven’t seen Clarence in three years. Yesterday he shows up here with a girl, sayin’ he got married. He told me he needed some quick cash for a honeymoon, so he asked if he could borrow five hundred dollars. I wanted to help him out so I wrote out a check. We went to breakfast and that’s the last I saw of him. So help me God. They never thought to tell me where they were goin’. And I never thought to ask.

Coccotti looks at him for a long moment. He then gives Virgil a look. Virgil, quick as greased lightning, grabs Cliff’s hand and turns it palm up. He then whips out a butterfly knife and slices Cliff’s palm open and pours Chivas Regal on the wound. Cliff screams.

(Coccotti puffs on a Chesterfield.)

Tooth-pic Vic returns to the trailer, and reports in Italian that there’s nothing in the car.

Virgil walks into the kitchen and gets a dishtowel. Cliff holds his bleeding palm in agony. Virgil hands him the dishtowel. Cliff uses it to wrap up his hand.

COCCOTTI
Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I’m a Sicilian. And my old man was the world heavyweight champion of Sicilian liars. And from growin’ up with him I learned the pantomime. Now there are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give him away. A guy has seventeen pantomimes. A woman’s got twenty, but a guy’s got seventeen. And if you know ‘em like ya know your own face, they beat lie detectors to hell. What we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don’t wanna show me nothin’. But you’re tellin’ me everything. Now I know you know where they are. So tell me, before I do some damage you won’t walk away from.

The awful pain in Cliff’s hand is being replaced by the awful pain in his heart. He looks deep into Coccotti’s eyes.

CLIFF
Could I have one of those Chesterfields now?

COCCOTTI
Sure.

Coccotti leans over and hands him a smoke.

CLIFF
Got a match?

Cliff reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter.

CLIFF
Oh, don’t bother. I got one.

(he lights the cigarette)

So you’re a Sicilian, huh?

COCCOTTI

(intensly)

Uh-huh.

CLIFF
You know I read a lot. Especially things that have to do with history. I find that s**t fascinating. In fact, I don’t know if you know this or not, Sicilians were spawned by n******.

All the men stop what they were doing and look at Cliff, except for Tooth-pic Vic who doesn’t speak English and so isn’t insulted. Coccotti can’t believe what he’s hearing.

COCCOTTI
Come again?

CLIFF
It’s a fact. Sicilians have n****r blood pumpin’ through their hearts. If you don’t believe me, look it up. You see, hundreds and hundreds of years ago the Moors conquered Sicily. And Moors are niggers. Way back then, Sicilians were like the wops in northern Italy. Blond hair, blue eyes. But, once the Moors moved in there, they changed the whole country. They did so much f****** with the Sicilian women, they changed the blood-line for ever, from blond hair and blue eyes to black hair and dark skin. I find it absolutely amazing to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, Sicilians still carry that n****r gene. I’m just quotin’ history. It’s a fact. It’s written. Your ancestors were n*****s. Your great, great, great, great, great-grandmother was ****ed by a ******, and had a half-n****r kid. That is a fact. Now tell me, am I lyin’?

Really appreciated that Bonny!

Top stuff.

Sorry if some people don't get why thats there. Just some top monologue.

:clap:

I'm not in the habit of hurling abuse!

But here's what I'd love to say to some!
(But prob never go that far!)


1) To a nasty 'lady' I know! (With complex of being overweight)

"THAT GIRL'S GOTA 'BUTT' .........THAT JUST WONT QUIT!"
-ONE ASS CHEEK ON MARS & ONE ON PLUTO!"



2) To Ex-boyfriend's irate new girlfriend:

"I'TS RATTLING THE BARS AGAIN -MUST BE FEEDING TIME!"



I feel somehow better for that! Awww thanx!

Angel x

Originally posted by NatalieSheff
i have done that too its ace! and l felt wonderful!

I did it too, the idea was that I'd say it and then walk out, get in my car and fly out of t he car park in a cloud of tyre smoke. Unfortunetly my car wouldn't start - kinda took the edge off the moment!

Originally posted by x_angel
I'm not in the habit of hurling abuse!

Aw, go on. It's great fun! ;) ;)

StarSparkle (grinning) :thumbsup:

my friend who is a police officer says he has always wanted, when someone has explained another stupid 'schoolyard' type incident such as 'she said this and that about me and i want her done', to just go 'uuuuuuurrrrrr' whilst pulling a face where you push your tongue out underneath your bottom lip to imitate someone simple and neanderthalic. but of course he hasn't:P

I once had a customer in Rotherham giving me some right lip. I took it as long as I could then lost it and used a famous service engineers' line;

"One more word out of you bonny lad and you can fix this f****r your self"

The line was spat at him with as much anger as I could muster and after the feeling of 'getting it off my chest' was fantastic.

He went very quiet and sat down, not saying a word for the rest of the time I was there.



The only 'line' I heard in a movie or on TV that really impresses me is in Inspector Morse.

He flies in to this room, where the baddy is, with good old Lewis and barks a question to this this bad guy who replies in German that he can't speak English.

Morse looks at him and in a sinister wisper say's in faultless German "Du wirst mir antworten. Das kommt auf dich an."
("You will answer me. You must.).

P.S. I cant speak German, had to find the book out this morning to copy it out!!!!

A friend of mine drives one of those articulated fridge lorries, delivering milk so supermarkets, so he is always in a hurry. He was stopped just as he was leaving the M1 after going well over the speed limit to pass some other lorries to get to the slip road first.
The bobby who stopped him came up to the cab and asked "where's the fire driver" so he said back "well **** me officer don't tell me your looking for one as well. The bobby creased up laughing and just told him to keep his speed down in future.

Whenever someoen with a clipboard or charity box approaches me, I've always wanted to breeze past them and as they hold out their hand say: Sorry, I'm dead inside. I never have doen though, i've always mumbled something about no spare change and skulked off.

Ah Well

Wilf

"you can't fire me, I QUIT!"

husband..ive won 3 million on the lottery,pack a bag love,
wife.shall i pack a swimming costume?
husband,pack what you like.just fxxk off !

Originally posted by Lestat
Everybody be cool this is a robbery! any of you f***** p****s move and I'll execute every muthaf****** last one of you!!

fair to say it didn't have the same effects in Greggs bakery.

lol, would love to say this, but dont think the scene is ever going to happen in my life time.

The line from Alannis Morrisett's 'All I really Want'; 'When I scratch my nails down someone elses back I hope you feel it.'

Also 'Follow that Car', 'Your nicked sunshine' and the quote at the bottom of all my messages. No doubt I'll think of more....

Originally posted by BrainThrust
Whenever someoen with a clipboard or charity box approaches me, I've always wanted to breeze past them and as they hold out their hand say: Sorry, I'm dead inside. I never have doen though, i've always mumbled something about no spare change and skulked off.

Ah Well

Wilf

"Sorry, no speak English" has worked for me in the past :hihi:

(probably not suitable for Caucasians)

I dunno it could be almost more amusing for a caucasian - sorry no speakie english!!!!

"To the airport - I'll explain on the way!"

"Put on your seatbelt. I'm gonna try something. I saw it in a cartoon, but I'm sure it can be done."