Help about elderly people who are unsafe to be on their own

I am an extremely worried daughter and grandaughter.

My grandma is 83 years old and lives on her own, she is extremely confused ie; doesn't always know where she is, the month, the time of day etc. She goes out not knowing where she is or where she's going. She has carers who visit her (now 4 times per day to give medication, prepare meals) but she won't always let them help her. My parents have had to have police out twice looking for her at 9-10pm at night yet she doesn't understand the worry and can't understand why marks and spencers is closed! Her last wander out at night resulted in her being found just off london road (luckily be a kind lady) she had fallen and broken her wrist.

After a ten week stay in hospital, where consultants and doctors assessed her and said she was safe to live on her own and make her own decisions she came home.

She has been home over 2 weeks now and seems to be worse than ever, she has been missing til 9pm at night once again, her personal hygiene is nil, my mum is visiting and finding soiled pants all over the house, she takes food out of the freezer and then re-freezes it, she is losing money (or hiding it, we don't know) and if I was to go on I'd be sat here typing for days.

My parents are constantly on edge with worry. They both work and cannot be at my grandmas house all the time, they go as often as they can and ring her everyday. Its my dads mum and he has tried to discuss with her about going in a home but she refuses. He has today taken her to see a consultant who asked her questions for example: what season is it, where are you now, what month is it? all of which she got wrong. She did answer some questions correctly but having had all the info from my parents about the concern for her safety, health, hygiene and diet he says she is still in a position to make her own decisions.

I am extremely worried about my grandmother (for her safety and health) and my parents (for there own lives and health, they won't plan holidays, worry about going out for a drink etc).

I understand about peoples human rights and its against my grandmas rights to make her do something she doesn't want to do (and it isn't a case of shoving her in a home it is genuine worry and my parents cannot go on like it) but what about her human rights of someone saying shes safe to live on her own but then her wandering out again at night and something worse happening than before. Does someone hold their hand up and say she shouldn't have been living on her own?!

Sorry if this is a long message, I'm just trying to put you in the picture and this is just brief, I wonder if anyone has been in a similar situation - have you any advice, it would be much appreciated?

Thankyou

Sorry to hear about your grandma, it must a worry for all the family. Which service was she assessed at? For example, was it the Memory Clinic or another specialist dementia service? Does your Grandma's GP know about her problems?

They should be able to access specialist services to offer support for your family as well as your Grandma. Additionally you could ask for a social services assessment to see what practical help could be arranged.

Get her GP in to assess her with another family member there so you can discuss your concerns.I work for a GP and we have to do these visits from time to time.Good luck and love to your Gran x

Thanks for your reply's Daisy and Dawn.

Her GP and social services know the situation, the social worker even says 'she needs looking after doesn't she?'. Everyone knows that she needs caring for, but its just how and its so annoying when the consultant says she can make her own decisions, they don't see her on a daily basis. Even the carers who go in aren't brilliant, they have to give medication and on some occasions have given the wrong dosage or not it all!

It doesn't help because my grandma refuses help as she thinks she's okay, she gets really cross and says she's not daft - which we know she's not daft but shes just not safe and very disorientated - eg - I visited her last week and she said she wanted to go home - she was sat in her own living room!

Shes just a constant worry.

it's very difficult to deal with when you are seeing a loved one in that sort of condition.

Contact the Alzheimers Society in Sheffield, they can give you shedloads of advice, on all aspects of dealing with Alzheimers.

They were a great listening ear when my Gran was going through dementia, (she had a combination of Alzheimers, and something called "Multi-Infarct" dementia:- that is, she'd had strokes aka infarctions in her brain - an interruption to the blood supply. and each one took a bit more of her faculties. it was hellish)

it's very difficult to deal with when you are seeing a loved one in that sort of condition.

 

Contact the Alzheimers Society in Sheffield, they can give you shedloads of advice, on all aspects of dealing with Alzheimers.

 

They were a great listening ear when my Gran was going through dementia, (she had a combination of Alzheimers, and something called "Multi-Infarct" dementia:- that is, she'd had strokes aka infarctions in her brain - an interruption to the blood supply. and each one took a bit more of her faculties. it was hellish)

They can also give you advice and help for all dementias, not just Alzheimers, and it sounds your gran may be suffering some kind of dementia.

My husband works for an older people's charity, and his advice is to contact them, so *snap*, PT, lol.

Follow this link: http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/BranchWebsites/Sheffield/index.htm

They are here:

Contact us

In person/by post:

Venture House

105 Arundel Street

Sheffield

S1 2NT

Our office is open between 9.00am and 4.30pm, Monday to Friday

By phone: 0114 276 8414

By e-mail: [email protected]

By fax: 0114 276 9240

My nan suffered like this and my dad was constantly on edge.She did eventually go into a retirement home as she was so confused.There she had company and care 24 7.It must have been hard for my dad but it was the right thing to do.She was a very independent lady and to see this happen to them is hard.

Hi I think I know where your coming from as my father was in a similar state before he passed away. You might find something in the legalities if what is happening here http://www.dh.gov.uk/en/PublicationsAndStatistics/Bulletins/ChiefExecutiveBulletin/DH_4108436

Unfortunately the law is much tighter now than it used to be which don't help much in your situation.

Move to Scotland. You'll get everything she needs for free. And you can sit round drinking buckfast all day and not work while the mugs in England pay for it.

Sorry about your gran though, hope you manage to find the help you need.

It seems you are all doing what you can to help. Would it be worthwhile to ask your GP for a second opinion? Have you thought about respite care so your parents can have a break and recharge their batteries?

In addition to the Alzheimers Disease society there is also a carers group where you can get support. I think it is still on Charles St.

It seems you are all doing what you can to help. Would it be worthwhile to ask your GP for a second opinion? Have you thought about respite care so your parents can have a break and recharge their batteries?

In addition to the Alzheimers Disease society there is also a carers group where you can get support. I think it is still on Charles St.

I believe the sheffield Carers soc (princess Royal trust for carers?) is off trippett lane these days, in a place called "bells Square"

ah, here we are. found the link

google was my friend!

http://www.sheffieldcarers.org.uk/