This is soooo romantic (sigh). Mr Wocky proposed to me, here on the the Forum, and after a great deal of mature consideration, I gave him my reply the other day:

"No problemo! I've decided we can all convert to being Mormons - after all, if I can change my sexual orientation for your sweet sake, I can certainly take up religion.

This will mean you can have as many wives as you want. Of course, we'll all have to move to Salt Lake City but at least that means you'll be closer to your all-time favourites, The Osmonds.

I thought we might have Cressida and Pattricia for bridesmaids - and you might consider Melthebell for your best man? He seems like a nice lad.

I'll have my ma-in-law as my maid of honour - her wheelchair looks quite nice all done up with white satin ribbons, and I can give her a double dose of medication so she doesn't dribble too much or have one of her "turns".

I'll go and check out the Wedding Group, because I'm obviously not too experienced about this heterosexual wedding thing.

Remember to let me know about the bridesmaids

Dozy"

It's going to be a totally Forum affair - hopefully, sharpsinger will be providing the entertainment at the reception and I'm hoping the Forum smoking room will be available for the event.

Any suggestions warmly welcomed.


Dozy

Ah, yes, a bridesmaid at last. Have you decided on the colours yet. ? Midnight Blue perhaps ?

Ah, yes, a bridesmaid at last. Have you decided on the colours yet. ? Midnight Blue perhaps ?

Oh no, it's up to you and Cressida to decide:

"OK - I found the colours. http://www.st-mike.org/colors.html

At the moment, I'm leaning towards Carnation, Dead Spaniard or Puke.

What are your thoughts?

Dozy"

I know Cressida seems keen on Carnation.

Perhaps I should have mentioned that I will be wearing Goose Turd Green myself, as I think it will be the best match for Mr Wocky's ichor, and if he starts oozing during the ceremony, I can discreetly mop it up without embarrassing the clergy.

Dozy

Well we will follow your lead Dozy. Depends on mr Jabberwocky doesnt it ?

Im happy as long as the bridesmaids are goats!

For outside the chapel, you clearly need a guard of honour composed of Jabbers' past ovine conquests, each sporting a jaunty silk ribbon of finest goose turd green around their woolly little necks.

Yes, and they will be telling jokes to the crowd. Mary had a little lamb, and the gynaecologist is looking into it " !! Ha -Ha, its the way I tell em.:D

Whoah WHOAH wait a cotton picking sec, dag nabbit!!

Chapel..?

CHAPEL???

You expect ME to wander into a church??? The last time I tried to get into one of those hell holes was a complete farce! The hunchback on the roof kept trying to pour boiling oil onto me!

Whoah WHOAH wait a cotton picking sec, dag nabbit!!

Chapel..?

CHAPEL???

You expect ME to wander into a church??? The last time I tried to get into one of those hell holes was a complete farce! The hunchback on the roof kept trying to pour boiling oil onto me!

Register office then Jabbers ? :cool:

Register office then Jabbers ? :cool:

Yeah thatll be fine.

Just,.,, no hunchbacks with kettles of oil, ok..?

you can eat me if you like! i make a fantastic main course! i'd like to be involved, too!

Yeah thatll be fine.

Just,.,, no hunchbacks with kettles of oil, ok..?

Oh darn, I suppose it'll just have to be boring old confetti, then.

Dozy

For outside the chapel, you clearly need a guard of honour composed of Jabbers' past ovine conquests, each sporting a jaunty silk ribbon of finest goose turd green around their woolly little necks.

Definitely not! I'd be too concerned about (a) Mr Wocky getting too excited before the reception and (b) the possibility of them attacking me savagely in a fit of jealousy.

Dozy

Oh darn, I suppose it'll just have to be boring old confetti, then.

Dozy

Thats sorted. Ill supply that, I have a scalp and fungal infection!
Dandruff will fall like snow!


Just,, try not to touch it... its a bit acidic...

Oh no, it's up to you and Cressida to decide:

"OK - I found the colours. http://www.st-mike.org/colors.html

At the moment, I'm leaning towards Carnation, Dead Spaniard or Puke.

What are your thoughts?

Dozy"

I know Cressida seems keen on Carnation.

Perhaps I should have mentioned that I will be wearing Goose Turd Green myself, as I think it will be the best match for Mr Wocky's ichor, and if he starts oozing during the ceremony, I can discreetly mop it up without embarrassing the clergy.

Dozy

Don't tell me you've never heard of Jinny Green Teeth?
It would be a perfect colour for a bridesmaid!
Why not go down to the local duck pond and have a gander at the green slime that floats on top sometimes?
That's Jinny Green Teeth.A fabulously rich slime!

:hihi:

Im happy as long as the bridesmaids are goats!

I think you're being rather rude about Cressida and Pattricia, you need to mend your manners, or they'll be after you.

Dozy

I think you're being rather rude about Cressida and Pattricia, you need to mend your manners, or they'll be after you.

Dozy

Oh theyll be after me alright.
One look at my beauty and they`ll be gagging for a Jabbering!

Damn... Im such a romantic, sweet talking little devil arent I...?

you can eat me if you like! i make a fantastic main course! i'd like to be involved, too!

Thank you - that's so generous, but that's what I've come to expect from Forum folk.

Your kind offer reminds me a film? or TV programme? Where a cow or something vaguely bovine went round recommending its best cuts to the diners?

Does it ring any bells with anyone.

Dozy

Oh theyll be after me alright.
One look at my beauty and they`ll be gagging for a Jabbering!

Damn... Im such a romantic, sweet talking little devil arent I...?

(Sigh) yes you are, my dearest, diddle, diddle darling. :love:

And I'm not surprised that women gag when they see you.

Dozy

ichor....what a fantastic word! very evocative use of language. very nice.

Silence Of The lambs ?

Thank you - that's so generous, but that's what I've come to expect from Forum folk.

Your kind offer reminds me a film? or TV programme? Where a cow or something vaguely bovine went round recommending its best cuts to the diners?

Does it ring any bells with anyone.

Dozy

Hitchhikers.
I tried to find the youtube thing but... no luck.

Hitchhikers.
I tried to find the youtube thing but... no luck.

Of course! The Restaurant at the End of the Galaxy.

Maybe we should consider that as a venue for the reception, we might fit more people in there than we would in the Forum smoke room.

Dozy

Don't tell me you've never heard of Jinny Green Teeth?
It would be a perfect colour for a bridesmaid!
Why not go down to the local duck pond and have a gander at the green slime that floats on top sometimes?
That's Jinny Green Teeth.A fabulously rich slime!

:hihi:

Well I do find putting 2 different shades of green together can be a little tricky, remember I'm going to be in Goose Turd Green. But I'll definitely check it out - many thanks.

Dozy

The restaurant at the end of the universe is situated on the event horizon of the last black hole left in existance.
My black hole would get jealous and try to...absorb it...

Are you going to invite Dr Who,so he can give you all a lift?

Are you going to invite Dr Who,so he can give you all a lift?

I was thinking more of a stretch limo - in fuchsia pink - but I suppose the Tardis would be a little more practical.

Dozy

Looking at the colour chart, wouldn't it be more romantic if your dress was in "sheep"? It might bode well for Jabber's future faithfulness.

Looking at the colour chart, wouldn't it be more romantic if your dress was in "sheep"? It might bode well for Jabber's future faithfulness.

Yes, but unfortunately I do need to be practical, and I think "sheep" would stain too easily. As I explained in an earlier postL

"Perhaps I should have mentioned that I will be wearing Goose Turd Green myself, as I think it will be the best match for Mr Wocky's ichor, and if he starts oozing during the ceremony, I can discreetly mop it up without embarrassing the clergy"

Dozy

Wait a minute! Mr. Wocky also proposed to me... on more than one occasion! :suspect: :suspect: :suspect:

For example, on May 5, 2007 at 9:29 a.m. he said:

MARRY ME!


God... please send pics!

Thank you - that's so generous, but that's what I've come to expect from Forum folk.

Your kind offer reminds me a film? or TV programme? Where a cow or something vaguely bovine went round recommending its best cuts to the diners?

Does it ring any bells with anyone.

Dozy


It was Hitch hikers guide to the galaxy, and it was at the restaurant at the end of the universe <ish>

HTH

Angi

Wait a minute! Mr. Wocky also proposed to me... on more than one occasion! :suspect: :suspect: :suspect:

For example, on May 5, 2007 at 9:29 a.m. he said:

No problem. He's converting to a Mormon so he can marry ALL the women he's proposed to, and we're re-locating to Salt Lake City, because he wants to be closer to the Osmonds.

Welcome to the family!

Dozy

No problem. He's converting to a Mormon so he can marry ALL the women he's proposed to, and we're re-locating to Salt Lake City, because he wants to be closer to the Osmonds.

Welcome to the family!

Dozy

I might stand and chance, then...or,am I TOO OLD!:loopy: :suspect: :love:

,am I TOO OLD!:loopy: :suspect: :love:

I very much doubt it, Mr Wocky appears to have very catholic tastes in his wimmin!

Dozy

I very much doubt it, Mr Wocky appears to have very catholic tastes in his wimmin!

Dozy

Catholic?

I see myself as more of a Neanderthal.
I heared that word on telly last night and I liked it. I dont know what it means but it just seems to be me for some reason. I assume it means hunky.

Catholic?

I see myself as more of a Neanderthal.
I heared that word on telly last night and I liked it. I dont know what it means but it just seems to be me for some reason. I assume it means hunky.

With a small "c", of course. I thought it was rather a polite way to describe your total lack of anything approaching discrimination when it comes to wimmin.

Who did that song? "I'm a Neanderthal man, you're a Neanderthal girl, let's make Neanderthal love, in our Neanderthal world"? We could possibly use it at "the wedding", it would seem appropriate.

Dozy

Dozy, who is going to give you away?

I've found me wedding frock! And my head-dress.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KC1xCUyfn-w

But there is a small matter of etiquette that's exercising my mind at the moment. Obviously, I'll have to change the name on the front - but what do I change it to?

I can't call him "Jabbers" until after we're wed, that would be too forward :blush: . So Mr Wocky would be correct for walking down the aisle - but after the actual ceremony, wouldn't Jabbers be the correct usage?

What can I do?

Oh, and I'm not having the "I love (whoever)" in girly embroidery, I thought I'd have it spelled out in snail trails, as being more appropriate for my beloved.

Does anybody know where I can find a large, literate, slimy snail??

Dozy

Dozy, who is going to give you away?

I would imagine that just about any man who's ever met me "in the flesh" would be delighted to do so!

But I want this to be an "all forum" affair (apart from my matron of honour) so I'm open to suggestions!

Dozy

Does anybody know where I can find a large, literate, slimy snail??

Dozy

You called, my precious?

I just realised, I need a stag night.

I wonder where I can get tranquillizers and a hunting rifle from... Stags struggle like hell unless you calm them chemically.

You called, my precious?

I said "literate", cloth ears. Or is it the ear wax causing problems?

Dozy

I just realised, I need a stag night.

I wonder where I can get tranquillizers and a hunting rifle from... Stags struggle like hell unless you calm them chemically.

Are us bridesmaids having a hen night ? Cressida where are you ?

Hens?
Dont they peck a bit?

Aww,A forum wedding,I love weddings and it's ages since I have been to one.I hope I can come too.I will buy a new hat especially for the event.(I will bring some whelks too if it helps get me an invite):hihi: :hihi:

Are us bridesmaids having a hen night ? Cressida where are you ?

Hi pattricia RABBITS (It's exactly midnight) had to move off the laptop as my son wanted to use it

what happened to my topic again!!!! They didn't give any warning did they?

Are us bridesmaids having a hen night ? Cressida where are you ?

oh yes we will have to have a hen night you and Lizzy can organise it (haha)

Hi pattricia RABBITS (It's exactly midnight) had to move off the laptop as my son wanted to use it

what happened to my topic again!!!! They didn't give any warning did they?

What ? Making love with kids in next room ?

What ? Making love with kids in next room ?

actually we were rather off topic, do you think that was the reason? they usually say back to topic, or go in the chatroom or something

Uncle Wocky, are you getting married, and if so shall I inform the rest of the family?
And what relationship will they be to me?
Also if you need a best man I'm sure I can regail everyone with many wonderfully entertaining & embarrassing stories about you ;)

Will you be filming your Wedding?Maybe you could send a copy entitled Mr Wocky's Wacky Wedding to here.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7UmBxAw-B0 :hihi:

Uncle Wocky, are you getting married, and if so shall I inform the rest of the family?
And what relationship will they be to me?
Also if you need a best man I'm sure I can regail everyone with many wonderfully entertaining & embarrassing stories about you ;)

Hiya neph!

It would appear that Im going to be the groom at a mass wedding ceremony, Im going to be marrying at least eight female forumers at once.
Of course they dont realise that yet, they think Im marrying just one, but one female isnt enough for me! Women are too weak, they fall to bits and go all runny in a matter of days so for their own good, Im mass marrying a load of them.

Lucky girls.

I dont mind the embarrassing stories, as long as you dont mention the deer cull.
The forestry commisson used rifles, I used my tinky.
I killed twice as many deer as the FC did.

Damn I mentioned it!

Is this Jabbers long lost prodigal son returning for the wedding?:hihi:


http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u179/hunnybunch37/Jabbersson.jpg

He would look good standing on the cake!

Actually, speaking of power mad dictators, has anyone seen dozy? She doesnt apppear to have been around for a day or so...
I sent her the pic of me in a dress, lifting the hem up in a coyish manner, so I wonder if she fainted with lust.

Wocky working hard...:hihi:

http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u179/hunnybunch37/Wockyworkinghard.gif

Well theres always reaping to do :D

Well theres always reaping to do :D

good thing you can spell:P

I cant spell! Thats one typo Im keeping in place :D

oh silly me, as the night draws on I get weaker

Thank you - that's so generous, but that's what I've come to expect from Forum folk.

Your kind offer reminds me a film? or TV programme? Where a cow or something vaguely bovine went round recommending its best cuts to the diners?

Does it ring any bells with anyone.

Dozy

I think it is out of the Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, can't be bothered to go and read it to check though.

Will you keep your maiden name or are you going to become Dozywocky?

Will it be buffet, or a sit-down do?
If it's a buffet, will there be any vol-au-vents, and can I come?

Bloody Norah this is an oldy! I was just starting to take the Champix pills when this thread started and I was sinking slowly into mega-sulk mode!

Im almost out of it now, Im almost back to my old self, so...

heh heh lock up yer undies.

We wont be having a buffet in the normal "Buffet" sense of the word.


What happens is, after the horses duvries, a herd of Wildebeeste are let into the room and we have to hunt them, bring down the weakest with our teeth and nails, then eat it, while at the same time, attempting to scare off the scavenging Hyenas that will be circling the buffet hungrily.

Obviously, we`ll all be naked and singing tunes form the Lion king as this is happening.

We wont be having a buffet in the normal "Buffet" sense of the word.


What happens is, after the horses duvries, a herd of Wildebeeste are let into the room and we have to hunt them, bring down the weakest with our teeth and nails, then eat it, while at the same time, attempting to scare off the scavenging Hyenas that will be circling the buffet hungrily.

Obviously, we`ll all be naked and singing tunes form the Lion king as this is happening.

I do believe Jabbers has got his previous persona back dont I ?:)

Not yet, not by a long chalk, but Im working on it.


Once I can successfully persuade the cat to shave himself with a garden strimmer and allow me to take pics then Ill consider myself back to.... "Normal"

We wont be having a buffet in the normal "Buffet" sense of the word.


What happens is, after the horses duvries, a herd of Wildebeeste are let into the room and we have to hunt them, bring down the weakest with our teeth and nails, then eat it, while at the same time, attempting to scare off the scavenging Hyenas that will be circling the buffet hungrily.

Obviously, we`ll all be naked and singing tunes form the Lion king as this is happening.

I love horses doofers to celebrate the circle of life, I'm in :D

I have a very tall friend who looks a bit like a horse, all teeth and nostril.

Hes very nervous now...

I have a very tall friend who looks a bit like a horse, all teeth and nostril.

Hes very nervous now...

Who's that, Wocky?

He`s called Colin.

Hes so tall that he looks as if he was made out of disgarded knees, elbows, adams apples and foreheads. I used to take him for walks in the countryside but he had to stop because his teeth kept getting tangled in overhead power cables.

What about the bouquet for the bride and of course the buttonholes for everybody else? :)
Perhaps a bunch of thistles with the occasional mollusc secreted amongst them, and of course poison ivy and wild garlic corsages for the bridesmaids. ...... :hihi:

[QUOTE=mort;2873105 and of course poison ivy and wild garlic corsages for the bridesmaids. ...... :hihi:[/QUOTE]

I'm feeling quite faint

oooops sorry have I gone too far there cressida? :o
Perhaps something more traditional then - wolfsbane, belladonna and old man's beard then? :hihi:

oooops sorry have I gone too far there cressida? :o
Perhaps something more traditional then - wolfsbane, belladonna and old man's beard then? :hihi:

Me & Cressida are chief bridesmaids arent we ? Pick us some nice flowers will you mort ?

ok how about a huge bunch of hydranga with crysanthamums and cardoons ?

ok how about a huge bunch of hydranga with crysanthamums and cardoons ?

Sounds better to me. Cant wait for the wedding now can I ? :)

Cardoons? What are Cardoons?

a type of huge edible thistle thing

Cardoons? What are Cardoons?

I was wondering that myself,but darent ask.:D:D

Edible.



My favourite word! :D

Edible.



My favourite word! :D

:D:D:D:D:D

Then maybe the bouquets should be edible......

lets see

Carnations and crysanthamums with cardoons and of course celerly and a few small aubergines just to add a touch of class :hihi:

Edible bouquets, edible guests, edible bridesmaids and priest....

We`re going to be needing some serious indigestion pills!

edible bridesmaids !!!

edible bridesmaids !!!

Whos the best man do we know Cressy ?

edible? Incredible!!

edible? Incredible!!

Yes, Mr.Wocky is marrying Dozy isnt he ?

It will be the wedding of the year!! Especially if he wears what is in his avatar...

It will be the wedding of the year!! Especially if he wears what is in his avatar...

Father Christmas or The Silence of The Lambs outfit?

Father Christmas or The Silence of The Lambs outfit?

How about a combination of them both? :o

Dozy is wearing her Misery outfit, complete with 14 lb sledge hammer so she can smash my ankles as soon as the vows are ended.

Its going to be a very solemn, romantic affair.

Dozy is wearing her Misery outfit, complete with 14 lb sledge hammer so she can smash my ankles as soon as the vows are ended.

Its going to be a very solemn, romantic affair.

Dont forget to dress the cat up will you ? :)

Hes a furry bouquet, dozy will lob him over a shoulder and whoever catches him gets to marry him.

Hes a furry bouquet, dozy will lob him over a shoulder and whoever catches him gets to marry him.

That's categorical, is it?

Itll be a catastrophy if it doesnt happen!

That's categorical, is it?

Err, yes if you say so !! :huh::huh:

Itll be a catastrophy if it doesnt happen!

Its the way he tells em, Walt, isnt it ? :D:D:D

Whos the best man do we know Cressy ?

Dozy suggested Melthebell

Mel would be perfect. I wonder if he`d allow a carnation in that coat of his though.

Mel would be perfect. I wonder if he`d allow a carnation in that coat of his though.

Don't be daft - he'll have a bottle of Hendos as his buttonhole! Probably with the top slightly loose, so that you're not the only with dribble down his wedding outfit :hihi:

then there's always Mel's twin 'Fillthegill' isn't there?

Don't be daft - he'll have a bottle of Hendos as his buttonhole! Probably with the top slightly loose, so that you're not the only with dribble down his wedding outfit :hihi:

He wont do that. He`d hate to waste it, plus, he`d have me licking his lapel all day. Hendos is hard to get here.

then there's always Mel's twin 'Fillthegill' isn't there?

FilthyGirl? Sounds like my kinda lass!

Have you got a DJ? I can do a great megamix of country and western mixed with Mozart!

Numan? Kraftwerk? ELO? Jean Micheal Jarre...?

Thats the stuff!

What about the cake, are you going for something traditional with tiers and a marzipan model of the brides[s] and groom? Or will it be something altogether more avant-garde?

I wanted a pile of fresh corpses piled on a table, each on little pillars of little candy coffins.

I cant help being an old romantic.

I think I could tempt Jabbers with my Jean Michel Jarre collection - Rendezvous anyone?

Consider me tempted! Jarre is a genious.

Music DOES calm the savage breast, my breast is a brutal affair, but an hour or his music turns it into a cauliflower, a cauliflower of titanic proportions.


I... this coffee Im drinking.... seems to be stronger than my usual stuff...

is it having the 'desired' effect?

I AM a desired effect! God knows what its called but its made my brain work, all three cells are firing and the fourth one isnt sulking in a corner like it usually does.

a glimmer of hope then - lol

Can I bring the banning stick?

Can I bring the banning stick?

Only if it's bigger than your Avatar :)

Can I bring the banning stick?

Ah the ceremonail "Rod of Banishment" No wedding would be complete without that.

what's the story with that then?

There isnt a story to it, but itd make a nice addition to the proceedings.

I just spent a rather sexy couple of hours in the kitchen scrubbing and cleaning, Im about to go to the bathroom and toilets to give those a fettling and then I have to do the bedrooms and living room and hallways.

Im gonna make doozy a lovely little wife.


And I DONT mean out of other peoples body parts!

well the best I can say is Dozy doesn't scare easily

well the best I can say is Dozy doesn't scare easily

She hasnt seen me naked yet.

She hasnt seen me naked yet.

Youve changed your avatar again !!! :gag:

My avatars change themselves, my computer is a democratic entity where all programmes live in harmony and can do as they wish.

I had nothing to do with it, honest.....



ahem

My avatars change themselves, my computer is a democratic entity where all programmes live in harmony and can do as they wish.

I had nothing to do with it, honest.....



ahem

Who is the person on this one ?

I must say I found the Jack Nicholson one strangely riveting

Just some lucky girl claiming that Im a pervert for some reason. I just wish I could make my avatars a bit bigger.

I must say I found the Jack Nicholson one strangely riveting

Yes, besides me liking Jack Nicholson(dishy ;) ) I also thought it suited Wockys personality perfectly.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeres Jabber!

Im dreading all the innuendos but I want to know how to make it bigger.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeres Jabber!

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees back !!!!!!!!!! :D

Im dreading all the innuendos but I want to know how to make it bigger.

Er, its no good asking me. All I know is that when David Copperfield the magician gets an erection,he passes a hoop over it to show there are no wires attached !! (better get back to making meat & tatty pie) :rolleyes:

ask the mods for an extension

ask the mods for an extension

:D:D:D:D:D

Size doesnt matter anyway. It isnt the size thats important, its how one uses it.



(If I had a penny for each time Ive used that for an excuse... )

Let me guess, you'd have 7 1/2 pence? :hihi::hihi:

I'm glad you have returned the J.N. one, cheers