Has there ever been a more confusing sequence of news reports concerning a recent event than the death of Bob Woolmer?

First (we were told) he died of natural causes, then he was strangled, then he was poisoned before being strangled; then a bloodstained ligature was found; then no evidence of a ligature was found; then the evidence that he was strangled was disputed by forensic experts; then he was just poisoned, then the poison used was aconite, then aconite was ruled out, then snake venom was ruled in, then snake venom was ruled out, then weedkiller was ruled in, then weedkiller was ruled out.

And, as for the motive, first (we were told) the motive was his imminent expose of a matchfixing ring; then his biographer denied that Woolmer had any such intention; then a 'hitman' theory was ruled in; then a hitman theory was ruled out; then a ‘disgruntled fan’ theory was ruled in; then a ‘disgruntled fan’ theory was ruled out; then it was a furious argument he had had with his players; then he had had no major argument with his players; then CCTV of the hotel showed nothing untoward; then CCTV showed a mysterious figure on the same floor as Woolmer’s room; then it did not.

It wouldn’t surprise me at all if we went full circle and it was suddenly announced, as fantastic and implausible as this may seem, that he died from natural causes.

or by his own hand?

Has there ever been a more confusing sequence of news reports concerning a recent event than the death of Bob Woolmer?

First (we were told) he died of natural causes, then he was strangled, then he was poisoned before being strangled; then a bloodstained ligature was found; then no evidence of a ligature was found; then the evidence that he was strangled was disputed by forensic experts; then he was just poisoned, then the poison used was aconite, then aconite was ruled out, then snake venom was ruled in, then snake venom was ruled out, then weedkiller was ruled in, then weedkiller was ruled out.

And, as for the motive, first (we were told) the motive was his imminent expose of a matchfixing ring; then his biographer denied that Woolmer had any such intention; then a 'hitman' theory was ruled in; then a hitman theory was ruled out; then a ‘disgruntled fan’ theory was ruled in; then a ‘disgruntled fan’ theory was ruled out; then it was a furious argument he had had with his players; then he had had no major argument with his players; then CCTV of the hotel showed nothing untoward; then CCTV showed a mysterious figure on the same floor as Woolmer’s room; then it did not.

It wouldn’t surprise me at all if we went full circle and it was suddenly announced, as fantastic and implausible as this may seem, that he died from natural causes.

See 'Princess Diana' suspect death, etc 'Jack Kennedy' Suspect Death etc.

How long until someone claims he isn't dead after all? :rolleyes:

Has there ever been a more confusing sequence of news reports concerning a recent event than the death of Bob Woolmer?

First (we were told) he died of natural causes, then he was strangled, then he was poisoned before being strangled; then a bloodstained ligature was found; then no evidence of a ligature was found; then the evidence that he was strangled was disputed by forensic experts; then he was just poisoned, then the poison used was aconite, then aconite was ruled out, then snake venom was ruled in, then snake venom was ruled out, then weedkiller was ruled in, then weedkiller was ruled out.

And, as for the motive, first (we were told) the motive was his imminent expose of a matchfixing ring; then his biographer denied that Woolmer had any such intention; then a 'hitman' theory was ruled in; then a hitman theory was ruled out; then a ‘disgruntled fan’ theory was ruled in; then a ‘disgruntled fan’ theory was ruled out; then it was a furious argument he had had with his players; then he had had no major argument with his players; then CCTV of the hotel showed nothing untoward; then CCTV showed a mysterious figure on the same floor as Woolmer’s room; then it did not.

It wouldn’t surprise me at all if we went full circle and it was suddenly announced, as fantastic and implausible as this may seem, that he died from natural causes.

Hetty Wainthropp is currently investigating this case so please chuckle underneath your breath. Murder via Suicide. Well ? Let's look at the facts..he was in a sumptuous hotel room in the Windies and after sending an email to his wife, resigning his position as Manager of the Pakistani Cricket Team, he suddenly fell off of his pearch. Strange really. He was murdered.

How long until someone claims he isn't dead after all? :rolleyes:

I remember Artisan put a picture of himself on here some time back which bore an uncanny resemblance to Bob Woolmer. I think Bob could well be alive, well and residing in a well known forum in cyberspace ( think there are a few people who would like to do him in on here too).

He may have been involved in what is commonly know as an asphyxi**** (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=asphyxi****)

It's all getting a bit like "Tales of the Unexpected" on ITV 30 years ago..cloudybay will remember it. She had just received her old age pension! :hihi:

Latest from PA:


Reports are coming in that Bob Woolmer may have been killed with a Stingray fish. Although not confirmed yet, early DNA tests has revealed that it may have been the same Stingray that took the life of Steve Irwin, commonly known as the Crocodile Hunter.
More to follow ..

I remember Artisan put a picture of himself on here some time back which bore an uncanny resemblance to Bob Woolmer. I think Bob could well be alive, well and residing in a well known forum in cyberspace ( think there are a few people who would like to do him in on here too).

He is living in El Cotillio at pres, under an assummed name.

How long until someone claims he isn't dead after all? :rolleyes:

I saw him down the chip shop yesterday. :D

They need Quincy on the case.

But it does seem to be strange with todays skills that they can't be sure if he was killed or died of natural causes.

He may have been involved in what is commonly know as an asphyxi**** (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=asphyxi****)

auto-erotic strangulation is I think the correct term

Mark Shields, the former British police officer and Jamaican Deputy Police Commissioner who has been leading the investigation apparently enjoys a very active social life on the island. Some have commented that this may not have been entirely conducive to making good progress in the investigation.

Mark Shields, the former British police officer and Jamaican Deputy Police Commissioner who has been leading the investigation apparently enjoys a very active social life on the island. Some have commented that this may not have been entirely conducive to making good progress in the investigation.

He's been a naughty boy in the past as well .. fabricating observation logs and briefing witnesses.

http://www.jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20051126/lead/lead3.html

Rumours abound that the Pakistan team gave up cricket and took up Bob slaying. Completely false though :D

The case is being featured on Panorama tomorrow (Mon 30th) I gather.

It wouldn’t surprise me at all if we went full circle and it was suddenly announced, as fantastic and implausible as this may seem, that he died from natural causes.

Nor would it me - when 99% plus of us see the celestial umpires finger raised and trudge from the wicket to the final pavillion in the sky it is likely to be causes of the natural variety.

Although when I was a lad ct. Binks b. Truman tended to be the demise of many.

Read on teletext this morning that Bob Woolmer had been poisoned.

How is he??


Jim

they have found a poisonous drug inside him, but could he have administered it to himself??

Panorama, Monday 8.30pm, may enlighten us from the gloom of the case and Saturday evening's final? As the Woverhampton coat of arms proclaims:"Out of darkness cometh light."!

No doubt Panorama this evening will claim to have the definitive explanation of Woolmer's death - but so too has almost every other previous news report I have seen. It wouldn't surprise me if Dispatches or some other programme did an investigation shortly afterwards which came up with an entirely different explanation. This story will run and run, with periodic 'howzats', followed promptly by 'not out' decisions etc etc.

.. .. This story will run and run, with periodic 'howzats', followed promptly by 'not out' decisions etc etc.

The police will be stumped.

well today on the radio they announced he was poisoned & then strangled.

Course he was Murdered !!:suspect:
Jeesh - Like he's gonna eat poison and then Strangle himself
Perlease !! :mad:

The police will be stumped.

Remember that day all the bogs were stolen at West Bar Green nick?

The police said they had nothing to go on? :hihi:

It seems like now the police know he was murdered, but are they any nearer to finding out who did it?

The story gets curiouser and curiouser.

In the last week there have been three explanations advanced. 'Panorama' put forward the theory that muslim fundamentalists in the Pakistani cricket team were to blame. In today's 'Sunday Times', it is alleged that he was poisoned with weedkiller (contradicting a report last week which dismissed the weedkiller theory). And in mid-week there were reports to the effect that he was not murdered at all.

Anyway, he has been cremated, so at least no exhumation is in the offing.

The story gets curiouser and curiouser.

In the last week there have been three explanations advanced. 'Panorama' put forward the theory that muslim fundamentalists in the Pakistani cricket team were to blame. In today's 'Sunday Times', it is alleged that he was poisoned with weedkiller (contradicting a report last week which dismissed the weedkiller theory). And in mid-week there were reports to the effect that he was not murdered at all.

Anyway, he has been cremated, so at least no exhumation is in the offing.

well that will leave the murderers very happy

Yet another twist or two.

In recent days the press have been reporting that police were about to name Woolmer's killer (i.e. the person who gave him two champagne bottles laced with poison).

Then suspicion centred on his last email, which allegedly was not written by him but by his killers.

Today there have been several press reports about British police now believing that he died of a heart attack and was not murdered after all (which is something I predicted in my first post).

I wonder what the next twist will be?

The Police High Command yesterday said it was treating as speculation, reports that Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer died of heart failure.

According to the police, they are maintaining their stance that Woolmer was murdered since the results of further tests are not yet available.
............

http://www.jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20070514/lead/lead1.html

I haven't got a copy of Wisden handy, has Bob Woolmer ever had anyone stumped before?

EDIT: sorry i see this joke has already been used.

pay attention in class!!!!

Nearly there!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/06/02/woolmer02.xml

There has to be a reference to ball tampering in the post mortem report.

It has been reported that Bob Woolmer wasn't murdered, died of heart failure brought on by his diabetes

Yet another twist or two.

In recent days the press have been reporting that police were about to name Woolmer's killer (i.e. the person who gave him two champagne bottles laced with poison).

Then suspicion centred on his last email, which allegedly was not written by him but by his killers.

Today there have been several press reports about British police now believing that he died of a heart attack and was not murdered after all (which is something I predicted in my first post).

I wonder what the next twist will be?

Well he wasn't hanged, so it won't be reverse swing.

It has been reported that Bob Woolmer wasn't murdered, died of heart failure brought on by his diabetes

On a serious point, as a national force brought about a murder inquiry, and now that has been "swept" away, how does this reflect on the Jamaican authorities?

Pretty badly, to be polite, I'd say.

Just been announced on SKY SPORTS NEWS that Jamaican Police say he died from natural causes.

Absolute farce.