Was sent to repair a damaged underground telephone cable at Ranmoor some time ago.Me and my mate John had barely got out of the van when a plump middleaged lady came out of her house demanding how long the phones were going to be.John replied 'about 5 inches missus'.Off she went in a huff.We next get a call from our boss telling us the wife of Joe Ashton MP,was not very pleased about the attitude of the engineers working on her phone line.She still had to wait her turn in the queue.

cook her bee atch

you shud have asked where joe was no doubt in the sana with a slapper now that would have got u fired lol!!

You would have thought she'd had a sense of humour to marry such an unpleasant man.

Many years ago, when I was in my teens, I was invited to a party at the house of one of the more well off kids at school.

Part of the way through this party I got talking to an older bloke who looked vaguely familliar. We eventually got talking about the local soccer team, and in particular I commented how dreadful the performance of the goalkeeper had been in the most recent match.

Ignoring the looks on several people's faces, I just waded in with a blow by blow account of the crap performance culminating with the old joke about the goalie throwing himself under a bus and missing.

The bloke I was talking to wandered off at that point....and you don't need me to tell you that he was that goalie....:)

Joe

Putting your foot in it is something we all do at some time, the clever thing is knowing you have done it, and then being prerared to eat a slice of "humble pie".

My 21 st birthday, lots of people there, guess who was caught kissing his girlfriends mother?

A friend of mine was at her boyfriend's house once and his dad asked her what she thought of the winter gardens.

She replied saying that it wasn't very good/ bit of a waste of money.

lol as it turned out he was one of the guys who planned the building of the winter gardens :P

sometimes, like Prince Philip, the only time I open my mouth, is to change feet.....


PT

Originally posted by WALLBUILDER
My 21 st birthday, lots of people there, guess who was caught kissing his girlfriends mother? I asume she had a nicer pair of boots than her daughter? :wink: :hihi:

Originally posted by Strix
I asume she had a nicer pair of boots than her daughter? :wink: :hihi:

If I remember correctly [and I'm sure I do] she was wearing a pair of strappy court shoes, she'd also got lovely calf@s and she offered ME the liss. It was just unfortunate that it was in the corridor leading to the toilets and as I'd disappeared from the dance floor for five minutes my girlfriend came looking!
My g/f wore pixie boots a lot of the time, [not my favorite boot]

Yeah. Had to grit my teeth on Saturday watching a thirty something DJ's fiance chatting up my brother. He's 19. And he's a bit wet behind the ears.

Originally posted by Strix
Yeah. Had to grit my teeth on Saturday watching a thirty something DJ's fiance chatting up my brother. He's 19. And he's a bit wet behind the ears.

But did they have anything in common?
My dad in his 70's is living with a woman who when my mother met her thought that she was my girlfriend, laughter from me and the lass. grumpy look from dad.

Difficult to tell when she's in 'ooh, yes!' mode, and keeps tracking him down. He was squirming a bit, but I don't like to big-sister him.

A friend in her early forties had split up with her long time partner, in an effort to cheer her up she was invited out on a birthday pub crawl. The embarrassment as she drank more and more and started to rather unsubtly proposition every man in sight. This included a 17 year old very inexperienced lad who she told 'she could make a man out of him' to a gay lad and various total strangers as we worked our way from Heeley to town. I'm glad we went towards town rather than away as I have friends in the White Lion. Anyway to this day and it's now five years on she still blushes when we remind her.
In case you're wondering she tried to invite herself back to my house for tthew night but I was brought up not to take advantage of drunk girls, working behind a bar we used to look after our female customers.

Have to admit to frightening my fair share of boys too. But not with such a great age gap. And I only looked at them!

I had a cute little scottish friend who looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth but she had a glare that could stop you dead in your tracks. I really annoyed her when I graded her glare from one to ten, one was mildly worrying but ten would probably of caused instant heart failure. My little jest got me a grade seven or eight which was more than scary. However I then made the mistake of saying 'what's wrong G.P.' she paused and then in a voice like ice asked me what G.P. meant'
'Guinea pig' I cheerfully replied
There was an ominous silence and then like Krakatoa she erupted/exploded/incandescent fury hurling herself at me and screaming wildly, we just happened to be on West Street at 9 pm at the time.
Now that's a very strong minded feminist.

That wasn't the sort of look I meant :wink:

edit: I thought you'd merged threads here WB, re: Chat up lines and insulting girls who HAVE to have the last word.

What's insulting about calling a girl a guinea pig? They're cute, they're nice to hold, they make really funny little noises and I've often cuddled one.
Guinea pigs are nice as well

Can't understand why you're single :roll: Or has that info been superceded?

Still single and am definitely becoming a slob.
If I ever decide to trust the fairer sex again my problem then will be 'all the nice ones have been taken'
Anyway back to 'putting your foot in it', A lot of my female friends know that if they ask 'do I look good in this'? they will off me get an honest answer.
Possibly I should make an exception when the girl in question is a girlfriend and she thinks she looks great.
Got ignored for the entire night with that one.

Never undersood wimmin meself. They think blokes can't pick wallpaper and paint to match but ask their opinion on an outfit. :loopy: :huh: